HOW IT FEELS TO BE RUN OVER (1900)
Article 4147 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-3-2013
Directed by Cecil M. Hepworth
Featuring May Clark and Cecil M. Hepworth
Country: UK
What it is: Trauma by proxy

Oh, is that car coming straight for me? Yes, it is! They’re waving at me to move, but I can’t!! What’ll I do??? What’ll I do???????!

You die… or, at least the camera does. What we have here is your basic trick short in which a camera has been set up to catch the view of an automobile racing straight towards you and hitting you. Actually, I’m a bit curious as to how it was done, unless the camera itself was sacrificed in the making of the film. And I’m still not quite sure of the significance of the phrase “Oh, Mother will be pleased.” Nonetheless, this is an amusing silent short. Still, I’m not quite sure if there’s any fantastic content here; being hit by a car is horrible, but it’s not quite in the realm of horror, and though it could be argued that the final words are those of the camera (making it a fantasy), the camera is merely a substitute for the viewer. It’s an odd little silent short.

DIE HAMBURGER KRANKHEIT (1979)
aka The Hamburg Syndrome
Article 4146 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-2-2013
Directed by Peter Fleischmann
Featuring Helmut Griem, Fernando Arrabal, Carline Seiser
Country: France / West Germany
What it is: Epidemic black comedy?

When a plague breaks out in Hamburg, several people break out of quarantine and make their way out of the city… only to find that the plague is more widespread.

For the first half of the movie, the odd touches and eccentricities of some of the various characters weren’t prominent enough to shake me from the belief that the movie had a more or less focused story to tell. Then, at shortly after the halfway point, an event occurs that is so audaciously unexpected that you find yourself wondering where the story would go from there. Unfortunately, what does happen is that the eccentricities and weirdness that was kept in check during the first half take over in the second, and the movie turns from a drama into a freaky black comedy. It’s as if the inmates have taken over the asylum, removing the center of the movie and leaving us confused and rudderless. This still might have worked if the characters had been fun and interesting rather than unpleasant and annoying, but such is not the case. There’s still the odd moment here and there that works, but to me, this is a prime example of what happens when a movie goes off the tracks at the halfway point.

HOW HE MISSED HIS TRAIN (1900)
aka Le reveil d’un monsieur presse
Article 4145 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-1-2013
Directed by Georges Melies
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: Comic trick film

A man wakes up in the morning and tries to put on his clothes, but his items of clothing keep changing to other items.

This is something of a companion piece to GOING TO BED UNDER DIFFICULTIES, where a man trying to undress for bed is driven crazy by the fact that new clothes keep reappearing on him. In this, the clothes change to other clothes; while putting on his pants, they change to a shirt, etc. It’s an interesting variant, but not only is the other idea funnier (it’s slightly more absurd), but this short simply doesn’t have the manic energy of the other one. Maybe that’s why the other one inspired so many imitations. This one is merely okay.

HAMLET (1921)
Article 4143 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-30-2013
Directed by Svend Gade and Heinz Schall
Featuring Asta Nielsen, Paul Conradi, Mathilde Brandt
Country: Germany
What it is: Shakespeare… with a twist

Hamlet swears revenge on her uncle for the murder of her real father.

I’m surprised I haven’t covered more versions of “Hamlet” in my journey through the realms of fantastic cinema; after all, the story is driven by the appearance of a ghost. This is only my second encounter with the story (the first being DER REST IST SCHWEIGEN), and I’m amused to consider the similarities of these two productions, in that 1) they’re both from Germany, 2) neither version I saw was dubbed or subtitled into English, and 3) they’re both bizarre variant versions of the story. DER REST IST SCHWEIGEN was a modern-day update of the story, and this one starts with a mind-bending premise, which is that Hamlet was actually a female forced to impersonate a male for the good of Denmark, hence the presence of Asta Neilsen in the title role. Now the last time I saw Asta Neilsen was when I watched and reviewed ERDGEIST, where I made the somewhat unflattering comment that she looked to me like a female impersonator, and the fact that I’ve just finished watching a movie where she plays a male impersonator leaves me speechless on the subject.

Nevertheless, as jarring as the premise is, it works. In fact, it works better if you’re already familiar with the story (which, given the fact that the subtitles were all in German, was crucial in helping me understand it), because you can appreciate how this change plays havoc with the character relationships in the original story. Horatio is no longer just Hamlet’s friend; he’s the unrequited love in Hamlet’s life, and Horatio’s love for Ophelia creates one of the weirdest love triangles I’ve encountered in years. There’s other plot changes that really fascinate; the real villain of the piece turns out to be someone else, the character of Fortinbras ends up being more than just a plot device in the final act, the characters of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are reduced to nameless ciphers, and neither Osric nor Yorick appear. Yet, for the purposes of this project, one unfortunate other change has been made; the ghost of Hamlet’s father does not appear; though Hamlet seems to hear his voice from his tomb and dreams about him, it’s hardly a substitute, and so like DER REST IST SCHWEIGEN, the driving fantastic content of the original story is missing, so all you’re left for the horror content is Hamlet’s feigned madness. You know, I’m bound to see a straightforward version of this one someday.