ZOMBIE ISLAND MASSACRE (1984)
Article 5097 by Dave Sindelar
Directed by John N. Carter
Featuring David Broadnax, Rita Jenrette, Tom Cantrell
What it is: Not what you think it is and nothing you’d want to see
After witnessing a voodoo ceremony, several vacationers in the Caribbean find themselves stranded in the middle of nowhere, and something is picking them off one by one…
When I saw CANNIBALS, I made the note that most of the alternate titles had the word “zombie” in the title, and I pondered on the fact that though there were indeed zombies in the movie, they largely served as minions and racked up no body count. But…at least it HAD zombies. Which is not to say that a body count is not racked up here – in fact, the murders come so thick and fast at a certain point, you’ll wonder if the movie will be longer than forty-five minutes. But when you find out what’s racking up the body count, it will be the final nail in the coffin of this one. And I do mean “final nail”; the lifeless direction, the characterless characters, the bland dialogue, and the listless pace will most likely have drained your will to pay attention by that point. I always wondered why the only comments I ever found on this movie highlighted Rita Jenrette’s nude scene near the beginning of the movie; it’s about the only thing worth remembering. And you know a movie is shoddy when it can’t even be bothered to find enough background music to cover the closing credits.
By the way, IMDB lists the length of this movie as 95 minutes. My print ran 84 minutes. I consider this a blessing in disguise; about the only thing that other eleven minutes could add to this movie is running time.