Escape From Galaxy 3 (1981)
aka Giochi erotici nella terza galassia
Article 5813 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-18-2020
Directed by Bitto Albertini and Luigi Cozzi
Featuring Sherry Buchanan, Fausto Di Bella, Don Powell
Country: Italy
What it is: Uhhhhh….

Two survivors from a destroyed planet try to escape Oroclon, king of the night. They land on planet Earth after the apocalypse, meet natives, and learn about love…

The first third of the movie is a STAR WARS clone. The second third of the movie becomes an after-the-apocalypse coming of age story in which the child-like immortal aliens learn about the joys of love, a plot element which causes the already idiotic story to descend to even lower levels of dumbness. The third third of the movie returns to being a STAR WARS clone, only dragging it’s new-found dumbness with it. Many of the special effects were lifted from STAR CRASH; in fact, in some places, this movie was known as STAR CRASH 2. Incidentally, STAR CRASH was better, and you can’t say that about many STAR WARS clones. I heard a rumor that despite the nudity and sexual themes, this movie got a G rating, but I have been unable to confirm that and find it highly unlikely; if it is true, it would be proof positive that those giving the ratings didn’t watch the movie. This is perhaps the dumbest movie I’ve seen in a long time. If there’s one dumber out there, I hope it waits until I recover.