Month: April 2021

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)

The Lair of the White Worm (1988)
Article 5713 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-10-2020
Directed by Ken Russell
Featuring Amanda Donohue, Hugh Grant, Catherine Oxenburg
Country: UK
What it is: Ken Russell adapts Bram Stoker

A strange woman turns out to be a priestess of an evil snake cult.

I’m willing to bet that a great deal of the perversity in this movie is the work of the director rather than being from Bram Stoker; at the very least, I’m sure Stoker would have been more subtle. Still, in comparison with most of the other films I’ve seen from Russell, this is a relatively staid affair; most of his trademark weirdness can be found in some brief dream sequences. In fact, I would go so far as to say this one gets pretty boring at times; with all the weird stuff, there’s also a great deal of standing around and talking. As it is, I find the whole movie somewhat uninvolving; I don’t really find myself getting very interested in most of the characters or their situations. There are a couple of interesting touches; a Melies short (THE BRAHMIN AND THE BUTTERFLY) pops up at one point, and there are two actors here who have both played the Doctor (as in “Doctor Who”) albeit only one officially; Hugh Grant was one of several actors who portrayed him in THE CURSE OF FATAL DEATH, and Peter Capaldi played his twelfth incarnation. This one was rather disappointing.

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Apple Andy (1946)

Apple Andy (1946)
Article 5712 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-3-2020
Directed by Dick Lundy
Featuring the voices of Sara Berner, Del Porter, Lionel Stander
Country: USA
What it is: Walter Lantz cartoon

Andy Panda is tempted by the devil to steal apples from an orchard.

I started watching this one under the impression that it would be fairly slight on the fantastic content as it wasn’t listed in any of my sources, but when the devil and angel show up as dueling sides of Andy Panda’s psyche, we’re officially in fantastic territory, albeit in a somewhat cliched fashion. That’s not all, by the way. The cartoon features a rather surreal dream sequence involving dancing apple cores, and lifts from the Warner Brothers cartoon PIGS IS PIGS by having Andy strapped to a chair in a big machine and force-fed apples. Still, being derivative isn’t the same thing as being bad, and this one is a lot better than the previous Walter Lantz cartoon I reviewed; there are a few decent laughs here. On a side note, Lionel Stander voices the devil, and the angel kicks some serious butt towards the end of this one.

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The Unpopular Mechanic (1936)

The Unpopular Mechanic (1936)
Article 5711 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-30-2020
Directed by Walter Lantz
Featuring the voice of Bernice Hansen
Country: USA
What it is: Animated whimsy

Oswald the Lucky Rabbit creates a machine that can change a person’s personality. He tries it out on the residents of a boarding home.

From my youth, I remember Walter Lantz’s friendly persona when he appeared in episodes of THE WOODY WOODPECKER SHOW. Yet, it must be said that he wasn’t really in the top line of cartoon creators, and the pickings of his oeuvre from before the creation of Woody are pretty slim. This is a pretty dull stretch of cartoon; it’s almost as if it missed every comic opportunity that presented itself, which is pretty sad given that the central premise is pretty good. At any rate, here’s another cartoon that passes into genre territory that I haven’t found listed in any of my guides.

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Rebirth of Mothra (1966)

Rebirth of Mothra (1996)
aka Mosura
Article 5710 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-27-2020
Directed by Okihiro Yoneda
Featuring Megumi Kobayashi, Sayaka Yamaguchi, Aki Hano
Country: Japan
What it is: Moth mayhem

An industrialist unwittingly removes a seal that kept a destructive monster under control. Can Mothra and her child defeat this terrible monster before the Earth is destroyed.

I find it easy to forget about the trio of Mothra films made in the gap between the Heisei and Millennium Godzilla series. I can certainly understand why they were made; there’s a fairy tale quality to Mothra that hadn’t been tapped for decades, largely because after her first appearance, she only showed up in Godzilla films. And if there is anything this movie does right, it’s that it clearly taps into that feel; this movie is one of the least realistic-looking kaijus I’ve seen. I wish the story was better and the movie was shorter; the movie spends a lot of time spinning its wheels, and many of the scenes go on far too long. We see far too much of the twins as well; they work better when they’re used sparingly, though it is a nice touch that there is an evil third sister. There was a lot of eye candy here, but I’m afraid it really wore out its welcome before it was all over.

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The Pink Chiquitas (1987)

The Pink Chiquitas (1987)
Article 5709 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-26-2020
Directed by Tony Currie
Featuring Frank Stallone, Bruce Pirrie, Elizabeth Edwards
Country: Canada
What it is: An endurance test

A pink meteor crashes on Earth. It causes women to become nymphomaniacs and endows them with superpowers.

Let’s face it; with a title like that and a plot as stated above, we’re deep in exploitation territory here. However, with a PG-13 rating, we’re not deep enough in exploitation territory to satisfy that crowd. Which means that this movie lives or dies on the strength of its comedy, and once you get a sampling of the latter (especially when you consider the smarmy mayor and the Barney-Fife wannabe sheriff), I wouldn’t blame you for reading the last rites for this one. Me, I’ll just pretend that this never existed and go my merry way. Only for fans of Sylvester Stallone’s brother or people who want to hear Eartha Kitt’s voice.

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Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)

Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1978)
Article 5708 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-24-2020
Directed by Philip Kaufman
Featuring Donald Sutherland, Brooke Adams, Michael Goldblum
Country: USA
What it is: 50s paranoia remake

People are acting strange in San Francisco. Could something be replacing them with duplicates?

As a sequel/remake of the original 1956 movie, I really don’t have a lot of problems with this one. Philip Kaufman does a good job of keeping things interesting, it’s well-acted and well-written, and it is quite effective in moving the action from a small town to a big city. It also makes sense that a remake of this one would pop up in the paranoid seventies. It’s also quite respectful of the original; both Kevin McCarthy and Don Siegel pop up in this one, with McCarthy essentially playing the same character that he did in the original. It certainly takes advantage of the progress made in special effects to add a lot of eye candy to this one as well. I do have a few small problems. The longer running time means that it takes longer to really get going, and they do overplay the paranoia a little too much. I also find the finger-pointing and shrieking to be a little bit silly. Still, I must admit that overall, it works well enough. It must doesn’t work well enough to compete with my memories of my first viewing of the original. And though I find the movie worthy enough, I’m not sure I really find it strictly necessary.

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They (1974)

They (1974)
aka Invasion from Inner Earth
Article 5707 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-23-2020
Directed by Bill Rebane
Featuring Paul Bentzen, Debbi Pick, Nick Holt
Country: USA
What it is: Who?

Several campers hide out in their cabin in the woods when something bizarre starts happening throughout the world.

The last twenty minutes of this movie involves a long walk (or should I say incessant wandering) through snow-filled woods. The experience left me feeling tired, bored, cold, slightly nauseated and unfocused and uncertain. And, all in all, that’s an apt metaphor for the whole movie. It reminded me a little of THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH in the sense that you’re going to get precious little in the way of invasion thrills if you watch this one. Oh, it establishes its premise early on, but then spends the rest of its length meandering around until it reaches its ending, where it degenerates into mystic impenetrability. Even for Bill Rebane this is a bad movie; I found it almost completely devoid of entertainment value. Not recommended on any level.

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Return of the Monster Maker (1958)

Return of the Monster Maker (1958)
Article 5706 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-19-2020
Directed by Donald F. Glut
Featuring Donald F. Glut, Charles Martinka, Wayne Moretti
Country: USA
What it is: A labor of love

Dr. Frankenstein creates a new monster. It goes berserk.

I have a certain amount of trepidation in reviewing an amateur film made by a teenager; it certainly can’t and shouldn’t be compared to professional product. Nor was it ever intended for the general public; it was a labor of love made by a kid who loved the movies and loved the classic monsters. If I’d had access to a movie camera in my youth, I might have tried the same thing myself. Watching something like this helps me recapture that sense of wonder I had about those classic movies, and it feels good to rekindle that feeling and remember that it was and is shared by millions of us. Still, the coolest thing about this amateur short is the excellent Frankenstein monster mask worn by one of the actors. It may be an amateur film, but it warms me in a way that very few professional films can.

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Time Gallops On (1952)

Time Gallops On (1952)
Article 5705 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-18-2020
Directed by Mannie Davis
Featuring the voice of Arthur Kay
Country: USA
What it is: Cartoon about technological progress

A smithy finds himself becoming obsolescent as cars replace horses, but he decides to bring his job up to the modern age by fashioning a robot horse.

It’s a Terrytoon, and that usually means that it isn’t going to be very good, and in terms of its comedy, I’d have to agree. Yet I do have to say that I liked its thematic center; it’s a cartoon that actually tries to be more than a series of gags by exploring the pitfalls of technological progress, and when the robot horse pops up, it veers into the science fiction genre. Furthermore, I stumbled across this one; as far as I can tell, none of my guides mention it as genre. But then, that’s mostly because the output of Terrytoon has fallen into obscurity. I’m glad I’m able to bring this one to light.

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Huey’s Ducky Daddy (1953)

Huey’s Ducky Daddy (1953)
Article 5704 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-13-2020
Directed by Izzy Sparber and Dave Tendlar
Featuring the voices of Mae Questel and Sid Raymond
Country: USA
What it is: Oversized animated baby antics

Baby Huey’s daddy is forced to take his son fishing. Disaster ensues.

By my usual rules of cartoon fantastic content, I might not have covered this one (since most of the fantastic content falls under the categories of talking animals and comic exaggeration, which are animation traditions rather than real fantastic content), but since the Walt Lee guide mentions this one, I’ll cover it. Baby Huey certainly exhibits super strength a few times in this one, and the presence of a shark at one point gives us a bit of horror as well. As a cartoon, it’s mostly pretty so-so, but the occasional gag works all right; my favorite is finding out how a lighthouse works. At any rate, it’s fun to finally have gotten around to writing another review after a long gap.

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