Night Call Nurses (1972)

NIGHT CALL NURSES (1972)
Article 5110 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-16-2016
Directed by Jonathan Kaplan
Featuring Patty Byrne, Alana Stewart, Mittie Lawrence
Country: USA
What it is: Nurseploitation

Three nurses who work in a psychiatric hospital deal with patients, stalkers, and their love lives.

The fantastic aspects are slight. There’s a minor subplot involving a psychotic stalker to add a bit of horror to the proceedings, and we get to experience some of the strange hallucinations of a pill-popping truck driver for a bit of fantasy content. And that’s really about it for what is mostly a rather plotless drama about women getting into situations that often involve them appearing topless. What plot there is mostly involves a hospitalized black revolutionary who is being held captive at the hospital and the attempt to free him. It’s mostly forgettable mid-seventies drive-in fare, though first-time director Kaplan shows some skill in setting up some of the scenes. Most of the cast is unfamiliar to me, though two names I recognize are Tristram Coffin and (or course) Dick Miller.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters (1962)

LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS (1962)
aka Caperucita y Pulgarcito contra los monstruos
Article 5109 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-15-2016
Directed by Roberto Rodriguez
Featuring Maria Gracia, Cesareo Quezadas ‘Pulgarcito’, Jose Elias Moreno
Country: Mexico
What it is: What Vincent Price saw when he took LSD in THE TINGLER

When the villagers are all turned to animals, and the Big Bag Wolf and the ogre are sentenced to death by a jury of monsters, Little Red Riding Hood, Tom Thumb and Stinky the Skunk join forces to save the world from the minions of evil. It’s a musical.

The first movie of the series (LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD) was a brain-frying excursion into the bizarre world of the Mexican children’s movie. The second movie (LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND HER FRIENDS) was relatively sedate and even had something in the way of a coherent plot. This one reverts to form by diving back into brain-frying grotesquerie, with more monsters than you can shake a stick at, bizarre comic antics between the ogre and the wolf, and the usual assortment of songs. The monsters include Frankenstein, a vampire, a werewolf, a pair of siamese twins, a pinhead named Carrothead, a wind monster that can blow hurricanes, a child-catcher who looks for all the world like Torgo from MANOS: THE HANDS OF FATE, a fire-breathing dragon, a robot, and a pair of witches. The dubbing is awful, and the voice given to the skunk will make you want to tear your ears off. It all unfolds a manic pace and leaves your mouth hanging open in astonishment. And, in its own warped way, it’s about as creepy a movie as you’re likely to see. Not recommended for those teetering on the brink of sanity.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Gawain and the Green Knight (1973)

GAWAIN AND THE GREEN KNIGHT (1973)
Article 5108 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-14-2016
Directed by Stephen Weeks
Featuring Murray Head, Ciaran Madden, Nigel Green
Country: UK
What it is: Arthurian epic

A squire takes up a challenge with a mysterious green knight only to discover that his opponent has supernatural powers. The green knight grants Gawain a year of life before they must meet again and Gawain must pay his side of the bargain. The squire, now knighted, goes on a quest to find the green knight.

From the reviews on IMDB, many people find this movie to be laughably bad, criticizing the acting, special effects, swordplay, and it’s tendency to conjure up visions of similar scenes in MONTY PYTHON AND THE HOLY GRAIL. I will agree with that last observation; there were moments in this film where I did find myself being reminded of that movie, but if you bear in mind that they were both low-budget Arthurian epics shot on location in roughly the same era, that makes sense. Yes, the acting is broad, but it’s also genre-appropriate; it’s grandiose, but it didn’t really bother me. As for the special effects, they’re serviceable enough for the story at hand; the movie doesn’t really try for effects it can’t pull off. Yes, the swordplay looks a bit clumsy, and the fight scenes are rather confusing at times, but then, I’d always thought trying to fight in armor would prove to be a clumsy process. I myself rather like the film, at least partially because if feels like it’s a bit out of time; for some reason, a straightforward Arthurian epic really seems unusual for the early seventies. It does suffer a little from being a bit on the dull side, however, especially during the middle of the movie where the story starts to get rather episodic; I like the beginning and the ending the best. It’s not great, but it’s acceptable.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

House on Straw Hill (1976)

HOUSE ON STRAW HILL (1976)
aka Expose
Article 5107 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-13-2016
Directed by James Kenelm Clarke
Featuring Udo Kier, Linda Hayden, Fiona Richmond
Country: UK
What it is: Erotic thriller

A paranoid and somewhat disturbed writer hires a female typist to help him write his second novel. Then the murders start…

In the early eighties, the forces that be in the UK banned a number of videos that had fallen through the cracks of censorship and were deemed to be a threat to young video-watchers. This movie ended up on the list, and the comments on the back of the Blu-Ray disc jacket make a big deal of its “banned” status and emphasize the movie’s depravity and controversial nature. This may make the movie a cause celebre for those against censorship, but it doesn’t necessarily make it a great or even a good movie. I’m thinking it was mostly banned for the sex; it is more explicit in that regard than other non-porn movies of the period (though it seems rather mild when compared to some Eurosleaze movies). As for the blood and gore, the nastiest scene is just a slightly more explicit version of the shower scene in PSYCHO; there’s a bit more blood and more nudity. My problem is that all the sex and gore seems to be nothing more than gratuitous filler to pad out a plot that is threadbare, uninspired, and a little obvious. Furthermore, it ends with a final twist which (if you’re paying any attention at all to the timeline of the story) is incredibly ludicrous. And, when all is said and done, in comparison to some of the other titles on the Video Nasties list, this one is relatively tame. The curious may want to give it a watch, but it’s hardly essential viewing.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Super Fuzz (1980)

SUPER FUZZ (1980)
aka Poliziotto superpiu
Article 5106 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-12-2016
Directed by Sergio Corbucci
Featuring Terence Hill, Ernest Borgnine, Joanne Dru
Country: Italy / Spain / USA
What it is: Super cop comedy

A policemen gains super powers after being caught in a nuclear explosion, but every once in a while they vanish. He seeks to find out why, and gets on a case to catch some counterfeiters.

I haven’t seen a whole lot of the work of Terence Hill (who is mostly famous for having played the character of Trinity in a series of spaghetti western comedies), but I rather like him. He has an easy-going style and a lightness of touch that helps alleviate the fact that some of the comedies he’s in are a bit heavy-handed. The basic concept of this one isn’t too bad, but the script is terribly uneven and it only works in fits and starts. Sometimes it’s just dumb rather than funny, some of the humor feels forced, and there are a few dull stretches to contend with as well. The cop’s superpowers aren’t clearly defined; he can float, has super strength, can run super-fast, can see through walls and buildings, has telekinetic powers, etc. but none of them are used consistently and they vary from scene to scene. Ernest Borgnine is on hand as his partner, but he’s mostly reduced to yelling a lot and his character gets old. The plot is as inconsequential as the crime itself; the counterfeiters specialize in one-dollar bills. Despite a few good moments, the movie is mostly ho-hum. The cop’s funniest superpower – he can talk to fish. His most disappointing superpower – he can make Ernest Borgnine dance like Fred Astaire. Okay, the last one would have better had they pulled it off, but though Borgnine gives it his best shot, he comes nowhere near.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

The Ninth Configuration (1980)

THE NINTH CONFIGURATION (1980)
Article 5105 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-11-2016
Directed by William Peter Platty
Featuring Stacy Keach, Scott Wilson, Jason Miller
Country: USA
What it is: Drama

A new psychiatrist arrives at a castle where an assortment of military men suffering from psychoses are kept. He is intent on using all his power to cure them, but he may be suffering from his own problems…

William Peter Blatty directed this movie based off his own novel, “Twinkle, Twinkle, Killer Kane”, and he claims that it’s the true sequel to his novel “The Exorcist”. It’s certainly not a sequel in the conventional sense; for one thing, it’s hardly a horror movie (though its exploration of madness nudges it up against the genre), and its sole real element of fantastic content (at the very end of the movie) belongs to the realm of the mystical rather than the horrific. Rather, it’s a thematic sequel; if “The Exorcist” was about evil, this is about good. One of the pitfalls of writing about good, or course, is that dramatically it’s less interesting than evil, but Blatty was wise enough to make it a story of redemption, which means it acknowledges an initial evil and keeps us aware that that evil could return. The movie itself starts out slowly as we get to know the characters and the environment, but it’s hardly uninteresting. The main thrust of the story doesn’t really become apparent until the second half of the movie, and then it becomes intense, powerful and quite sad. There are excellent performances from the whole cast, with Stacy Keach (as the psychiatrist) and Scott Wilson (as an astronaut who cracked up) giving the most memorable performances. I found the movie memorable and compelling, and I do recommend it with the warning that one should go in expecting something very different from THE EXORCIST.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)

METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN (1983)
Article 5104 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-10-2016
Directed by Charles Band
Featuring Jeffrey Byron, Michael Preston, Tim Thomerson
Country: USA
What it is: Probably better in 3-D

A ranger tries to locate a dictator named Jared-Syn living in a wasteland. The dictator is filling a crystal with human life energy with which he seeks to take over the world.

Though it’s far from a slavish imitation, this movie obviously owes a lot to THE ROAD WARRIOR for its inspiration. I just wish it had a fraction of the energy and focus of its model. As it is, it’s a rather muddled mess of an action movie, with way too many POV shots of vehicles moving down dirt roads, some bizarre but pointless mystical touches, motor vehicle crash scenes that are so poorly edited that it’s hard to see what caused the vehicles to crash, a dull hero, and a morose tiresome villain. You would think that a movie that runs only 84 minutes wouldn’t have so many dull, pointless stretches where virtually nothing is happening, but such is the case. About the only bright spot in the movie for me was seeing Richard Moll show up as a one-eyed character named Hurok; his appearance marked the only time in the movie where I could bring myself to smile. The climax of the movie is a particular disappointment, and sets itself up for a sequel that never happened, and I, for one, am not clamoring for one. This is one forgettable mess.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

The Loch Ness Horror (1982)

THE LOCH NESS HORROR (1982)
Article 5103 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-9-2016
Directed by Larry Buchanan
Featuring Sandy Kenyon, Miki McKenzie, Barry Buchanan
Country: USA
What it is: Scottish beastie horror

In Scotland, Scots and non-Scots encounter that Scottish beastie Nessie who lives in the Scottish lake of Loch Ness in Scotland. Much Scottishness is displayed.

This is the most recent of Larry Buchanan’s movies I’ve viewed for this series, and I can say that it’s easily the most technically advanced of those that I’ve seen. But then, I wouldn’t be surprised if he had a much bigger budget for this one than he had for the TV-Movies he made for AIP in the sixties; those were made for a pittance. No, the monster he concocts for this one isn’t really all that convincing (and he obviously couldn’t afford to make more than a neck and a head), but it still looks better than anything from those earlier movies. Not that the movie is good, mind you; the plot is a mess, the attack scenes are ludicrous, the movie is poorly paced, and much of the dialogue (of which there’s way too much) is laughable. He seems to expend most of his effort trying to pass off Lake Tahoe as Scotland, mostly by dint of his casting actors who show a willingness to attack the Scottish brogue with such aggressive abandon that the viewing audience is likely to suffer collateral damage from the shrapnel. I wouldn’t call it his best movie by a long shot, but I do have to admit it may be his most entertaining in terms of unintentional hilarity. And the scene where Nessie chews on a man’s head deserves some sort of award, possibly for the most ironic use of a PSYCHO musical motif.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Light Blast (1985)

LIGHT BLAST (1985)
aka Colpi di luce
Article 5102 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-8-2016
Directed by Enzo G. Castellari
Featuring Erik Estrada, Ennio Girolami, Michael Pritchard
Country: Italy
What it is: Action flick

A mad physicist has developed a death ray with which he tries to hold a city for ransom. Can a policeman stop him?

There are a handful of stop-motion animated sequences where we see the flesh melting off the bodies of the victims. The rest of the movie is a rehash of the usual action-movie cliches. You’ll get a mildly funky soundtrack, lots of car crashes, bullet wounds, cars blowing up, car chases, people set on fire, a car driving the wrong direction down the freeway, gunfights, a few hints of an investigation, and a token undeveloped character whose sole dramatic purpose is to be killed by the bad guys so we can feel sorry for the cop. It’ll pass muster for the uncritical action fan, I suppose, but those of us hoping for something more (an interesting story, compelling characters, creative dialogue, anything out of the ordinary that can set this one apart from the pack) had best turn our attention elsewhere. As it is, it’s one of those movies where the stunt men and the explosions experts deserve to be listed above anyone else on the creative team; they seem to be doing most of the work. It’s just another day at the movies here.

1 CommentLeave a comment

The Last House on Dead End Street (1977)

THE LAST HOUSE ON DEAD END STREET (1977)
Article 5101 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-7-2016
Directed by Roger Watkins
Featuring Roger Watkins, Ken Fisher, Bill Schlageter
Country: USA
What it is: Exploitation horror

An ex-con with a chip on his shoulder decides to become a snuff filmmaker. When he is cheated by his producers, he decides to make them stars in his latest production…

My love for horror films has its roots in the experience of sitting in front of the TV on Saturday nights and watching old horror movies on my local Creature Feature. It did not grow out of the experience of sitting in grindhouse theaters to catch the most disgusting and exploitative examples of the genre that could be conjured up. And that’s why I never quite know how to react to movies like this where the sole purpose seems to be how best to disgust those who don’t like this sort of thing or pander to those who do; they align themselves with the exploitation film market, and I’ve never been big on exploitation myself. According to IMDB, the movie was made for 1500 dollars in 1972, then sat around for years before it was cut down to about two-fifths of its original length and released. All of the credits are pseudonyms, and it’s reputation thrived on the difficulty of seeing it, the rumor of it’s actually being a true snuff film, and the fact that for decades no one admitted to actually having been involved with the film. It’s exudes seediness and depravity, but I also feel there’s some slightly arty touches that do clue me in that it is, indeed, “only a movie”, and director Watkins does show a certain amount of skill given its budget. Apparently, the director felt that an ending voice-over that claimed the moviemakers (in the movie) were caught and punished for their crimes ruined the movie, and I suspect it’s because it has the air of making apologies for a movie that was meant to be unapologetic for what it was. In the end, however, I can’t say that I either enjoyed the movie or that it totally shocked my sensibilities; in the end, it felt just like another one of those movies that I had to get through to continue my series. And, as for the full 175 minute version that apparently exists, let’s just say the 74 minute version I saw was enough for me and I’ll leave that full print for someone who simply loves this sort of thing.

1 CommentLeave a comment