METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN (1983)
Article 5104 by Dave Sindelar
Directed by Charles Band
Featuring Jeffrey Byron, Michael Preston, Tim Thomerson
What it is: Probably better in 3-D
A ranger tries to locate a dictator named Jared-Syn living in a wasteland. The dictator is filling a crystal with human life energy with which he seeks to take over the world.
Though it’s far from a slavish imitation, this movie obviously owes a lot to THE ROAD WARRIOR for its inspiration. I just wish it had a fraction of the energy and focus of its model. As it is, it’s a rather muddled mess of an action movie, with way too many POV shots of vehicles moving down dirt roads, some bizarre but pointless mystical touches, motor vehicle crash scenes that are so poorly edited that it’s hard to see what caused the vehicles to crash, a dull hero, and a morose tiresome villain. You would think that a movie that runs only 84 minutes wouldn’t have so many dull, pointless stretches where virtually nothing is happening, but such is the case. About the only bright spot in the movie for me was seeing Richard Moll show up as a one-eyed character named Hurok; his appearance marked the only time in the movie where I could bring myself to smile. The climax of the movie is a particular disappointment, and sets itself up for a sequel that never happened, and I, for one, am not clamoring for one. This is one forgettable mess.