BEWARE THE BRETHREN (1972)
Article 2499 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-6-2008
Posting Date: 6-15-22
Directed by Robert Hartford-Davis
Featuring Ann Todd, Patrick Magee, Tony Beckley
Country: UK

A sexually repressed young man has become a serial killer while his equally repressed mother becomes a member of a cult religion.

This one starts out promisingly enough with a sequence which juxtaposes scenes of the religious cult holding a mass while the murderer stalks a woman. I also liked the skill with which the identity of the murderer is revealed to us, and the movie occasionally makes creative use of sound. However, even during these bits, I was a little put off by the lack of subtlety, the rather ham-handed use of symbolic imagery, and a sense that the movie was more than a little overbearing. Unfortunately, the good things about the movie soon evaporate and the problems take over. The first half of the movie mostly belabors the discoveries we make about the characters in the first few minutes of the movie, and the second half of the movie makes a weird left turn away from the serial killing and focuses on the cult religion, and it ends with a bizarre sequence which is alternately bizarre and obvious, but ultimately unsatisfying. I also think the “gospel music” poorly chosen; it sounds more like seventies soul-pop than gospel music, and it’s just weird watching someone play the organ while no organ is heard in the music. All the major characters start coming off as twitchy basket cases before it’s all over, and the movie’s constant dwelling on the fetishism of the serial killer gets tiresome as well. Director Robert Hartford-Davis also gave us CORRUPTION and INCENSE FOR THE DAMNED; this is nowhere near as good as the former, and only slightly better than the latter.

BANG BANG KID (1967)
Article 2498 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-5-2008
Posting Date: 6-14-2008
Directed by Giorgio Gentili and Luciano Lelli
Featuring Tom Bosley, Guy Madison, Riccardo Garrone
Country: Spain / Italy

A western town is under the thumb of the evil Bear Bullock and his gunslinger assistant, Killer Kossock. Help comes in the form of a man who has invented a gun-fighting robot.

My first impulse is to take the movie to task for the non-stop narration that makes up the first ten-to-fifteen minutes of this spaghetti western science fiction comedy. However, that’s probably the funniest part of the movie. That’s not to say that the opening is really funny; it’s pretty lame, but the rest of the movie is even lamer. The central idea is cute enough, and it has some possibilities, but the movie fails to take advantage of any of them, and it falls flat on its face on every conceivable level. The movie also has its weird moments; it occasionally puts forth a visual metaphor in which Bear Bullock is a tyrannical king, the villagers are oppressed peasants, and the inventor is a knight in shining armor, but this aspect of the movie just makes it more bizarre without adding to the humor. In short, this is a listless and rather dull misfire.

THE BURNING COURT (1962)
aka La Chambre ardente
Article 2492 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-30-2008
Posting Date: 6-8-2008
Directed by Julien Duvivier
Featuring Nadja Tiller, Jean-Claude Brialy, Perrette Pradier
Country: France/Italy/West Germany

An eccentric but rich old man dies, and when one of the brothers gets the bulk of the inheritance, the other brother vows to prove that the old man was murdered. The mystery deepens when the body disappears from the coffin.

This is another rather curious movie that I’d heard about but hadn’t seen until now. In some ways, it’s in pretty familiar territory; it’s basically one of your “old dark house” movies with dead patriarchs and frustrated heirs. Throw in an ancient family curse, and the territory just seems all that more familiar. The identity of the murderers is no real mystery; it’s certain specific details of how the murder was committed that drives the story, as well as questions about the disappearance of the corpse. There are some strange scenes; in particular, the old man’s “wake”, in which couples waltz around his coffin, is likely to stay in your memory. The solution to certain parts of the mystery are intriguing, especially when you discover how a certain person managed to walk through a wall (and, for once, it’s not a secret passage). On the down side, the movie is too confusing at times, the subplot about the descendant of the woman who laid a curse on the family goes nowhere, and the ending left me feeling rather unsatisfied. I’ve heard tell that the novel this is based on is very interesting indeed, and that it may well be unfilmable. At the very least, this movie has piqued my interest in this direction.

BLOOD STALKERS (1978)
Article 2491 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-29-2008
Posting Date: 6-7-2008
Directed by Robert W. Morgan
Featuring Ken Miller, Toni Crabtree, Jerry Albert
Country: USA

Two couples visit a cabin in the Everglades, but are warned that the area is home to some murderous hairy creatures known as Blood Stalkers.

John Stanley describes this one as “a thinking buff’s gore flick”, and I think he’s right. However, I wouldn’t have been able to tell from the first forty-five minutes of the movie, where the cliched plot, annoying characters and stupid dialogue (punctuated by seemingly over-serious moments of character development) made me think that Mr. Stanley was being ironic. It’s not until the monsters go on the attack that the movie comes into its own, and it’s at its best when it’s at its most ambitious; in particular, the climax of the night attack sequence is very impressive, with some masterful editing and great use of music. It’s good this part works so well; otherwise, the revelations near the end of the movie would have backfired in a major way, and the fact that some of the suspenseful scenes come off as a bit comic would have driven the final nail in the coffin. The movie is ultimately derivative of two different kinds of movies, one of which (the bloody revenge drama) isn’t necessarily in the horror genre. It’s uneven, but when it works, it works well.

THE BABYSITTER (1980)
TV-Movie
Article 2490 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-28-2008
Posting Date: 6-6-2008
Directed by Peter Medak
Featuring Patty Duke, William Shatner, Quinn Cummings
Country: USA

A troubled family hires an eighteen-year-old to clean, cook, and look after the twelve-year-old daughter. She begins to exert a sinister influence over the family, subtly driving wedges between the various family members.

The acting is very good and some of the characters are very well drawn in this made-for-TV suspense thriller. Yet, even while admiring these positive qualities during the first half of the film, I found myself less impressed by the overly-familiar formula of the story, in which a psycho worms her way into a family, and those who can see her evil influence can’t convince those who can’t. The most interesting question for me during most of the movie was – Why is she doing this? Unfortunately, this question became less and less intriguing as the movie wore on, and I got tired of watching the psycho manipulate the family, the family falling for it, and the dysfunctional screaming matches that came about as a result. The movie gets harder to swallow as it goes on, as well. It was what the movie tried to do at the end that really lost me, though; by attempting to engender sympathy for the primary villain of the piece at this time, it didn’t manage to tug on my heartstrings (as was obviously intended), but rather, gave me the rather queasy feeling that the movie was trying to have it both ways. All in all, it’s a misfire with some positive elements.

BLUE DEMON CONTRA LAS DIABOLICAS (1968)
aka Blue Demon Vs. the Diabolical Women
Article 2478 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-16-2008
Posting Date: 5-25-2008
Directed by Chano Urueta
Featuring David Reynoso, Ana Martin, Alejandro Munoz Moreno
Country: Mexico

Blue Demon must catch a gang of crooks. He must also contend with a murderer who wears a Blue Demon costume when he attacks women.

This was the first color Blue Demon movie, and it feels like a companion piece to the one I covered a little while ago, BLUE DEMON CONTRA CEREBROS INFERNALES. Same wrestling hero, same garish colors, same snazzy nightclub, same band with the thyroidal trumpet, same lack of English dubbing. With the latter condition, it is, of course, hard to follow, and you’ll probably be scratching your head wondering where the diabolical women are; the bad guys all look like men. Of course, there’s the ringleader, whose back is always turned away from us; and once you notice that the boss’s voice changing during the course of the movie, you’ll figure out the final revelation – that is, if the title didn’t give it away. Of course, with a sham Blue Demon wandering around, you know you’re going to have a fight between them at some point where you can’t tell one from the other, and sure enough, there is one; the only surprise is that it’s actually in the wrestling ring. However, the fantastic content seems particularly lacking in this one, unless some of Blue Demon’s gizmos move it into the realm of marginal science fiction. Personally, I found the follow-up movie mentioned above to be more fun.

BLUE DEMON CONTRA CEREBROS INFERNALES (1968)
aka Blue Demon vs. the Infernal Brains

Article 2471 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-7-2008
Posting Date: 5-18-2008
Directed by Chano Urueta
Featuring David Reynoso, Ana Martin, Noe Murayama
Country: Mexico

Mad scientists are removing the brains of non-mad scientists, putting new brains in their heads, and turning them into zombies. Mexican wrestler Blue Demon must prevent this.

Let’s define our terms.

MEXICAN WRESTLING MOVIE – what this is

BLUE DEMON – heroic Mexican wrestler. You can’t have a Mexican Wrestling Movie without one.

MASK – What heroic Mexican wrestlers wear. Blue Demon’s is blue. As if you couldn’t guess.

BEAT UP BAD GUYS – What heroic Mexican wrestlers do in these movies.

WRESTLE – What heroic Mexican wrestlers do in these movies when they aren’t advancing the plot.

WRESTLING SCENES – What happens in this movie when the plot isn’t being advanced.

SINGING AND DANCING SCENES – What happens in this movie when the plot isn’t being advanced and the heroic Mexican wrestler is in the bathroom.

BRIGHT COLORS – What you’ll see lots of if you see my copy of this movie. Honestly, this is one of the most colorful Mexican wrestling movies I’ve ever scene.

THE ENGLISH LANGUAGE – What you won’t get any of if you see my copy of this movie. In short, undubbed Spanish.

BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS – What you’ll get during the scenes where brains are being removed and inserted.

BRAINS – What the bad guys are taking out of and putting into the scientists’ heads.

SCIENTISTS’ FOREHEADS – What the bad guys will press their disembodied brains against when they’re trying to give the illusion they’re putting brains back into the scientists when it’s obvious the scientists’ heads are fully intact. See BAD SPECIAL EFFECTS.

SEXY GO-GO DANCERS – What the bad guys’ female robots look like.

JANITORS – What the bad guys’ male robots look like.

SEXY GO-GO DANCERS WITH PARALYZING GUNS – What the referees miss when they’re trying to manage one of those wrestling scenes.

TRUMPET WITH SEVERE NECK STRAIN – What is played by the band during the Singing and Dancing scenes.

MINISKIRTS – What is worn by the females during the dancing scenes.

BLUE CAPE AND TIGHTS – What Blue Demon wears all the time.

LAME EXCUSE FOR A REVIEW – What you’ve just read.

BIRD OF PARADISE (1951)
Article 2470 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-6-2008
Posting Date: 5-17-2008
Directed by Delmer Daves
Featuring Debra Paget, Louis Jordan, Jeff Chandler
Country: USA

A Frenchman comes to a Polynesian island with a returning native and decides to stay there when he falls in love with the chief’s daughter. However, he has to be careful not to break the tribal taboos, and he has to contend with the Kahuna, the local witch doctor who does not approve of him.

I’ve heard this movie denigrated quite a bit, primarily for two reasons. The first is that the story is old-fashioned and hokey, and, what with the maiden sacrifice to the volcano, I suppose it is. The other is with the casting, with Jeff Chandler, Debra Paget and Yiddish stage actor Maurice Schwartz as Polynesians. But anyone who has enough experience with older films should be able to get around the latter problem, and, as far as I’m concerned, the actors do a convincing enough job so the illusion is not broken. For me, the movie has one thing really going for it; the native dances and rituals are extremely convincing, and the opening credits claim they were based on real Polynesian dances and rituals. This gives the movie that extra sense of verisimilitude, and I really felt like I was being transported into another culture, which is something I always enjoy in a movie. The fantastic content is that some of the native beliefs have a reality in the story; a woman walks across hot coals without burning herself, a waterfall turns red with blood at one point, and the solution to the problem of the erupting volcano seems to work.

THE BIG GAME (1972)
Article 2452 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-19-2007
Posting Date: 4-29-2008
Directed by Robert Day
Featuring Stephen Boyd, France Nuyen, Ray Milland
Country: USA/South Africa

The son of an inventor is blackmailed by a spy organization so they can get their hands on one of his father’s inventions – a machine that can control men’s minds from a distance.

“The Motion Picture Guide” was a multi-volume movie guide that came out in the mid-eighties; it was much anticipated, but proved a real disappointment when it first came out. I myself picked it up, and though it does have its uses, it certainly wasn’t worth the exorbitant amount I paid for it. For those who want an example of a its sloppiness, be aware that when describing this movie, it refers to it as a drama about big game hunting. Obviously, they never saw the movie; there is no big game hunting in the movie at all. I suspect they came up with the plot description after looking at the title of the movie, and little else. They do give it a fairly low rating, though, and that’s accurate enough; at best, this thriller is pedestrian and ordinary, but mostly it’s just dull. The science fiction concept behind it is its most interesting aspect; the concept of a machine that can take over the minds of armies and make them do their bidding is a truly frightening idea, and it’s sad that the best they can do with the idea is to make it the Gizmo Maguffin in a low-budget spy thriller. The closest I’ve seen to this idea being used before was REVOLT OF THE ZOMBIES , and that one was no better, though they used the idea more. The star power doesn’t help; of the name actors here, only Cameron Mitchell really does a memorable job, but he’s been the best thing in many movies far worse than this, so he knows his way around bad movies. The movie attempts to have a profound ending (which is where the title is finally explained), and it might have worked had the rest of the movie been up to scratch. As it is, this one is forgettable.

THE BAREFOOT EXECUTIVE (1971)
Article 2379 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-30-2007
Posting Date: 2-16-2008
Directed by Robert Butler
Featuring Kurt Russell, Joe Flynn, Harry Morgan

An ambitious mailboy at a TV network discovers that his girlfriend’s chimp can pick the best-rated TV shows. He decides to use the chimp’s ability to help his own ambitions to move up the executive ladder.

Apparently the fantastic content of this show is that a chimp is better able to pick hit TV shows than Joe Flynn and Harry Morgan. Though I don’t mean this as a slap against either Flynn of Morgan, I see nothing fantastic about this concept; with the recent spate of popular reality TV shows, I find it quite plausible that a chimp may be in charge. At any rate, I don’t think there’s enough fantastic content to qualify this one as genre. Nevertheless, I found this one of Disney’s more enjoyable shopping-cart movies; like many of their better comedies, it has a satirical edge and (for the most part) eschews over-the-top slapstick. As usual, there’s the great cast of familiar faces; on top of those listed above, we also have Wally Cox (who steals the movie as Flynn’s nervous chauffeur), Hayden Rorke, John Ritter (in his first theatrical movie role) and one-time serial actor Tristram Coffin (as a sponsor). One of my favorite things in this movie is to listen to the names of the various programs and then try to figure which real-life programs are being referenced; you’ll find references to “Star Trek”, “Laugh-In”, “I Love Lucy”, “I Spy”, and others. And, remember, “Abe Lincoln’s Doctor’s Dog” is not the same as “Abe Lincoln’s Dog’s Doctor”.

Hey, here’s an idea for a reality show – “Can your Pet Be a Big TV Executive?”. People bring in their pets and they compete to see who will be the next head of a network. Let me run that one past the chimp and see if it will fly…