Month: August 2019

L’aspirateur (1908)

L’ASPIRATEUR (1908)
aka The Vacuum Cleaner
Article 3702 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-18-2011
Posting Date: 10-3-2011
Directed by Segundo de Chomon
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: Trick short

Two ne’er-do-wells abscond with a new-fangled vacuum cleaner and use it to suck up everyone and everything in sight.

Here’s another one I could have covered during my Chomon-o-thon some time back, but back then, I’d been unable to match the English title on my list with the French title of the copy I had. Having just done so, I’m now watching it. I can’t read the opening title card, but I suspect it’s telling me that the movie is incomplete, and given the fact that the two villains never get their comeuppance, that may be the case. Still, the basic story is a pretty common one for the time; give some rascals a new gimmick and watch them wreak havoc with it. There’s some basic stop-motion effects combined with your basic editing tricks to achieve the effects. This one is amusing, if nothing special.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

I Wake Up Screaming (1941)

I WAKE UP SCREAMING (1941)
Article 3701 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-17-2011
Posting Date: 10-2-2011
Directed by H. Bruce Humberstone
Featuring Betty Grable, Victor Mature, Carole Landis
Country: USA
What it is: Film noir

When a fashion model is murdered, the prime suspect is a sports promoter who helped lead her to fame. However, the police don’t have the evidence to convict him, although one aggressive policeman who is known never to be wrong is on the case and is convinced of his guilt. Will the promoter be able to clear himself?

One of the interesting things that happens when I add new books to my sources from which I derive my hunt lists is sometimes they will list a movie that all of the others overlook. Still, that’s a double-edged thing; often it’s just another movie that the book misclassified. I found this movie listed in “The A-Z of Horror Films”, but despite the evocative title, this is not a horror movie but a film noir (the title is inaccurate as well; no one wakes up screaming). Though film noir has a few stylistic similarities to horror, rarely do the genres intersect, and the only aspects of this movie that lend it any horror genre credentials are a) the deceptive title, b) the presence of Laird Cregar (who, though not a horror actor, has memorably brushed up against the genre), and c) a plot point in which someone pretends to be a voice from a deceased person. The latter is a momentary touch, although it does play a pivotal role in the denouement of the movie. As for the movie itself, it is a very good film noir, though the central mystery at hand turns out not be who the murderer is, but why a man is being framed for it. Laird Cregar steals the movie as the policeman intent on convicting the promoter, but there are a few other familiar faces on top of the above-named stars, such as Alan Mowbray, Elisha Cook Jr., Charles Lane and Morris Ankrum. It’s pretty entertaining, but, as I said before, it’s not a horror movie.

1 CommentLeave a comment

Teenage Catgirls in Heat (1997)

TEENAGE CATGIRLS IN HEAT (1997)
Article 3700 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-16-2011
Posting Date: 10-1-2011
Directed by Scott Perry
Featuring Dave Cox, Gary Graves, Esmeralda Huffhines
Country: USA
What it is: Just plain ridiculous

An Egyptian cat goddess in the form of a statue gets cats to sacrifice themselves to her so that they can be reborn as humans, which will allow them to find men, mate with them, and kill them, so that the great litter will form a race of catmen to take over the world. A hitchhiker joins forces with a crazed cat expert to defeat them.

The cleverest thing in this movie is the opening credits, which appear as shadows on any variety of surfaces; it’s actually pretty impressive. The movie that follows is just as bad as the title promises, but then, that’s exactly what I’d expect from a Troma release; after all, that’s what they seem to be aiming for. To its credit, there were a few laughs along the way (and lots and lots of topless women), but at about the thirty minute mark, I started finding the whole thing really wearing thin; the insane cat expert really started to get tedious, for example. Still, any ordinary standards don’t really apply here; if the title draws you in, you’ll probably be happy enough with it. One interesting side note – going by the year on IMDB of this movie, it ranks as the latest one I’ve seen to date. However, I wonder about the accuracy of the year; I found it listed in John Stanley’s “Creature Feature Movie Guide Strikes Back”, and not only did it give the movie a date of 1991, but the guide itself was published in 1994, three years before the IMDB date on the movie. I suppose there’s an explanation of some sort; this does seem the type of movie that would sit on the shelf for several years. I do want to suggest a sequel that takes place thirty years after the events in this one: MIDDLE-AGED CATGIRLS IN MENOPAUSE.

ADDENDUM: IMDB has since changed the date on this movie.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Basket Case (1982)

BASKET CASE (1982)
Article 3699 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-15-2011
Posting Date: 9-30-2011
Directed by Frank Henenlotter
Featuring Kevin Van Hentenryck, Terri Susan Smith, Beverly Bonner
Country: USA
What it is: Grotesque horror comedy

A young man arrives at a seedy New York hotel with a basket. What’s in the basket is small, alive, incredibly strong, and is capable of making bloody mincemeat of doctors living in the area.

The DVD package for this movie features a quote from Rex Reed in which he describes it as the sickest movie he’s ever seen, though I’m sure that I could find a few others that would get my vote instead. Still, according to the blurb on this movie in the “Fantastic Cinema Subject Guide”, the biggest critic of the movie was the director himself, Frank Henenlotter, who apparently hated it. I can only assume that the movie didn’t match his vision of it, because, frankly, he’s got nothing to be ashamed of here. If this movie was made on as low a budget as I heard it was, then he certainly displayed the directorial chops to bring it to life; it’s certainly better than anything I’ve seen from Herschell Gordon Lewis, to whom this movie was dedicated. Yes, it’s loaded with gore and nastiness, but it’s also peppered by a strong sense of humor, makes extremely good use of its seedy locations, has an interesting array of characters, moves along at a crisp pace, and features acting which, while not always what I would call “good”, is always entertaining. I love certain touches, such as the fact that the young man tells the backstory at the time when it’s most logical for him – that is, when he’s roaring drunk. I saw this one on commercial TV years ago, and I was surprised at watching it now how little it was cut – that is, until the end of the movie when the sex angle becomes more prominent. And I have to admit that the most memorable moment for me was the demise of the father, a horrible death with a funny punch line. It’s easy for me to see why this is such a cult favorite.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

OSS 117: Mission for a Killer (1965)

OSS 117: MISSION FOR A KILLER (1965)
aka Furia a Bahia pour OSS 117
Article 3698 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-14-2011
Posting Date: 9-29-2011
Directed by Andre Hunebelle
Featuring Frederick Stafford, Mylene Demongeot, Raymond Pellegrin
Country: France / Italy
What it is: Eurospy

OSS 117 is sent on a mission to Brazil to defeat revolutionaries who are using mind control drugs to turn people into suicidal killers.

For a while I thought this was going to be some more Spyghetti, but it looks like it’s more French than Italian. This may explain why the flavor of this James Bond imitation is a little different. The movie is peppered with some interesting fight scenes, Frederick Stafford makes a decent faux Bond in some ways, and the location footage is nice to look at. It’s also surprisingly easy to follow. It’s main problem is that it’s rather dull; it’s directed without flair or style, and there’s a few too many dull stretches that cause your attention to wander. Add to that a musical score that is often far too easy going for this genre and the fact that the villains are a pallid lot, there’s just not a whole lot of fun to be had with this one. The fantastic content is the use of the mind control drug and hypnotism, but within the movie itself, these are used a bit too sparingly for my taste.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

The Madmen of Mandoras (1963)

THE MADMEN OF MANDORAS (1963)
Article 3697 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-13-2011
Posting Date: 9-28-2011
Directed by David Bradley
Featuring Walter Stocker, Audrey Caire, Carlos Rivas
Country: USA
What it is: Stupid Nazi tricks

A scientist who has developed the antidote to a deadly G-Gas is kidnapped and taken to the country of Mandoras, where Nazis hoping to revive the Third Reich have kept Hitler’s head alive. A federal agent goes to Mandoras to rescue the scientist and stop the Nazis.

This movie is mostly remembered for having had new footage added to it and then released as THEY SAVED HITLER’S BRAIN. In my opinion, you’re better off with that version. It’s not that one version is necessarily better than the other; they both stink. But at least the other version’s mismatched footage (it’s painfully obvious it was shot with completely different actors at a different time) gives it a rather surreal edge that adds an extra jolt of unintended humor into the proceedings. In other words, it’s a bit more interesting; this original version is mostly just deadly dull. There are several reasons for the dullness (too many characters, a muddled story, static direction), but I think the main problem is that the story’s hero hardly does anything but be swept up in the events surrounding him; he doesn’t drive the plot or investigate anything; everything jumps in his lap, and this just doesn’t make for compelling viewing. There’s a few laughs (usually in the scenes involving Hitler’s head), but not near enough. Not recommended.

1 CommentLeave a comment

Kindar the Invulnerable (1965)

KINDAR THE INVULNERABLE (1965)
aka Kindar the Invincible, Kindar l’invulnerabile

Article 3696 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-12-2011
Posting Date: 9-27-2011
Directed by Osvaldo Civirani
Featuring Mark Forest, Mimmo Palmara, Rosalba Neri
Country: Italy / Egypt
What it is: Arabian nights, sword and sandal style

The wife of a sultan is struck by lightning as she gives birth. The baby proves invulnerable to all human weapons, as per an old prophecy. The baby is kidnapped and raised by a band of desert bandits who discover his secret, and raise him as their own to use him to defeat the sultan’s kingdom. Will the man discover the secret of his heritage… and will anyone else discover his only weakness?

Whatever flaws the movie has, at the very least it has a storyline that offers some variety from the usual sword and sandal hokum; there’s not an evil queen in sight to deal with here. Unfortunately, it’s a little on the dull side as well, missing some of the fun elements of the other movies of its ilk. The middle section is particularly dull, and there’s some incredibly jerky camerawork during some of the battle sequences, which mostly consist of people sitting on camels and horses and flailing at each other with swords. At least Mark Forest has some fun with the action sequences, especially the first one where he takes on an assault of the bandits to test his strength. And at least the fantastic content clearly exists and plays a crucial role in the story, as the main character’s invulnerability drives the plot.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

The Monitors (1969)

THE MONITORS (1969)
Article 3695 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-11-2011
Posting Date: 9-26-2011
Directed by Jack Shea
Featuring Guy Stockwell, Susan Oliver, Larry Storch
Country: USA
What it is: Science fiction satire

Aliens come to Earth and take over as a worldwide police force, keeping the people in line using love, peace, courtesy and catchy jingles. A pilot gets caught up in a struggle between the aliens and a military resistance group bent on destroying the aliens.

Somehow, the idea of an unfailingly polite police force that eschews any form of violence serving as a central concept of a satirical science fiction movie sounds really interesting to me, and there are moments where this movie hints at what could be done with the idea, especially when it gives us the feeling that this could result in a 1984-style type of dystopia. How I’d like to see a movie that took this idea and cleverly developed it. Instead, I’m stuck with this one, which doesn’t know what comic tone to try for; it’s too stuck in sixties cinematic tricks to cohere at all. It overuses two of the gimmicks (an irritatingly catchy little ditty about the Monitors and a series of public service ads in which people describe how the Monitors have made everything wonderful), and it gets mired in bizarre slapstick-style comedy, especially in the scenes with Larry Storch. The movie does eventually get itself back in focus for the ending, but this ended up being the most disappointing part of all, as its messages are trite and predictable. It’s a movie that raised my hopes in the beginning and dashed them by the end of the movie. There’s a better movie to be made with the idea, and maybe someday that will happen.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

Dracula Sucks (1980)

DRACULA SUCKS (1980)
Article 3694 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-10-2011
Posting Date: 9-25-2011
Directed by Phillip Marshak
Featuring Jamie Gillis, Annette Haven, John Leslie
Country: USA
What it is: Porno Dracula

Dracula moves into Carfax Abbey and terrorizes the residents of Dr. Seward’s sanitarium.

After suffering through THE CASE OF THE SMILING STIFFS and PLEASE DON’T EAT MY MOTHER, I was expecting the worst from another porn horror movie, but I will give the movie some credit. It manages to at least dredge up some horror atmosphere, and it takes itself seriously enough (up to a point) that it actually ends up not being totally a joke when it actually credits Bram Stoker and his novel at the beginning. Still, just because it takes itself a bit more seriously doesn’t make it a good movie; it feels thrown together at random, especially in the way it picks key lines from the novel and throws them in just so they can be in there some place. There’s also something particularly crude and unappealing about this one; having Dracula assault Lucy when she’s on the toilet is incredibly tacky, for example. And when it does try for humor, it’s painful; most of the humor seems to come from bits of stupid dialogue added in post-processing that either have nothing to do with the action, or has people engage in pointless cussing and insulting. The worst bit of humor here is when the movie decides to include a throwback; the sole black character is one of those scared manservants that popped up constantly in the thirties, though he also serves as the resident voyeur. Richard Bulik actually does a neat imitation of Dwight Frye, and Reggie Nalder (who is listed under a pseudonym and plays the role of Van Helsing) does what he can, but it’s really a waste of time unless you’re into the porn angle.

0 CommentsLeave a comment

The Untameable (1923)

THE UNTAMEABLE (1923)
Article 3693 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-9-2011
Posting Date: 9-24-2011
Directed by Herbert Blache
Featuring Gladys Walton, Malcolm McGregor, John St. Polis
Country: USA
What it is: Drama with horror overtones

When an architect is injured in an auto accident, he is taken to the house of a beautiful young heiress to recuperate. He falls in love with her, but one day she undergoes a strange personality transformation and throws him out of the house. He begins to suspect she has a dual personality, and begins to wonder if her doctor is actually helping her or if he has a more sinister purpose in mind.

With hypnotism and dual personalities on hand, this has a fair amount of fantastic content, though I wouldn’t call it a horror movie. It’s quite entertaining, with much of the credit going to Gladys Walton’s performance; the first time we meet her second personality, the shift is quite alarming, and Walton plays it to the hilt. I’ve don’t think I’ve seen the split personality theme handled in quite this way before, so the story has a bit of novelty value as well. And at only 65 minutes, it moves along at a brisk pace.

0 CommentsLeave a comment