Month: February 2017

Mars Needs Women (1967)

MARS NEEDS WOMEN (1967)
Article #1719 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-28-2005
Posting Date: 4-27-2006
Directed by Larry Buchanan
Featuring Tommy Kirk, Yvonne Craig, Warren Hammack
Special guest star: A Fedpro Intercom

Martians come to Earth to abduct women when a disease causes the woman-to-man birth rate on Mars to plummet.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had to handle one of Larry Buchanan’s forays into genre territory, but sadly, not long enough. I never have high expectations for his movies, but the title at least promises a little campy fun. Sadly, there’s not even much of that; the scene where the Martians have to procure money, transportation, clothing and a map of the city is perhaps the most amusing sequence in this regard. There’s also the odd moment that works; when the tape runs out on a planetarium show and one of the Martians completes the presentation with a sad view of dying world, it’s actually a little touching. Unfortunately, most of the movie is a tedious bore, with endless scenes of aliens stalking their victims or characters engaged in endless and uninteresting conversation. The worst scene is where the military tries to prevent the Martians from landing; it consists entirely of stock footage, people standing around a computer room, and close-ups of an intercom (shot from several angles and occasionally with zooms into and away from it) which gets more screen footage than many of the actors in the movie. That’s why I granted the intercom a “Special Guest Star” credit.

Despite all this, I think this may be Buchanan’s best genre movie that I’ve seen so far. Sad, isn’t it?

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The Magic Sword (1962)

THE MAGIC SWORD (1962)
Article #1718 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-27-2005
Posting Date: 4-26-2006
Directed by Bert I. Gordon
Featuring Basil Rathbone, Estelle Winwood, Gary Lockwood

A young man raised by a sorceress decides to save the life of a princess when she is kidnapped by an evil magician who plans to feed her to his dragon.

This is one of the better Bert I. Gordon movies. It was one of his rare forays into fantasy rather than science fiction or horror, and here he tackles the epic quest story. The special effects are uneven, but I think they’re consistently better than they are in many of his other movies; I like the dragon in particular. Furthermore, he has a likable cast (which includes Basil Rathbone, Estelle Winwood and Vampira herself, Maila Nurmi). It’s a little turgid on occasion, but it’s consistently entertaining. Paul Frees provides a small bit of dubbing on one occasion, and you should be able to recognize his voice when he does. Apparently, Richard Kiel is on hand as one of the pinheads in Lodac’s castle, but in all honesty, I’ve never been able to spot him. If he is, this is the only movie to feature both Kiel and Angelo Rossitto, who portrays a dwarf (of course), who terrorizes the princess at one point.

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The Little Shop of Horrors (1960)

THE LITTLE SHOP OF HORRORS (1960)
Article #1717 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-26-2005
Posting Date: 4-25-2006
Directed by Roger Corman
Featuring Jonathan Haze, Jackie Joseph, Mel Welles

A simpleton is on the verge of losing his job at a florist’s shop on skid row, but is given a chance to keep his job if he nurses a crossbred plant back to health. He then discovers that the plant feeds on human blood….

I can’t believe that it took as long as it did for this movie to finally make it to this series. It’s been a favorite of mine ever since I viewed it on my local Creature Feature, and it was the first movie I ever bought after I purchased a VCR. It’s also one of the easiest movies to find on video, as it is not only in the public domain but easy to market as well (just put it together with THE TERROR and market it as a Jack Nicholson double feature). For me, it was also one of the funniest movies I’ve ever seen.

I still love the movie to this day. It has a dizzying array of memorable characters and great performances. Jonathan Haze gives his best performance as Seymour Krelboyne, the hopeless incompetent who is forced to turn to murder in order to keep his job; Jackie Joseph and Mel Welles are also excellent as the dim but lovable Audrey Fulquard and the testy but greedy Gravis Mushnik, both of whom spout malaprops with alarming consistency. There is also a man who eats flowers (Dick Miller), Seymour’s hypochondriac mother (Myrtle Vail), a woman in need of a constant supply of carnations for the funerals of her many relations (Leola Wendorff), a sadistic dentist (John Shaner) and his masochistic patient (Jack Nicholson in a hilarious cameo), two dragnet-style cops (Wally Campo and Jack Warford) whose only real method of detection is to be in the right place in the right time. There are other characters as well, but in many ways, I think the real star is Charles Griffith, who was given by Roger Corman the task of cloning his script for the successful BUCKET OF BLOOD, and did such an amazing job of converting a dark satire into a slapstick farce that unless you were aware of it, you might not notice that the story is same in both of the movies. Furthermore, Griffith plays four roles in the movie as well, most notably as a burglar who tries to rob Mushnik and the voice of the plant, Audrey Jr., and he does such a fine job in both roles that it’s a shame he didn’t do more acting. To this day, I still find it one of the funniest comedies around, and a perfect example of just how good a low-budget movie can be with a strong script and a good cast.

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The Vanishing Shadow (1934)

THE VANISHING SHADOW (1934)
(Serial)
Article #1716 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-25-2005
Posting Date: 4-24-2006
Directed by Lew Landers
Featuring Onslow Stevens, Ada Ince, James Durkin

An unscrupulous businessman attempts to get hold of shares in a newspaper firm that are in the possession of a young man who has no intention of giving them up to him. The young man has hooked up with an eccentric inventor to help him.

With all of the inventions on display in this movie, the fantastic content is assured. There’s a machine (known as the Vanishing Ray) that renders its wearer invisible, a gun that shoots a ray deadly to organic objects, a gun that shoots a ray that allows you to cut through anything, any number of bizarre booby-traps, and a robot. I’m almost surprised that the crooks aren’t primarily trying to get their hands on these, but it seems as if the newspaper stocks are the big prize in this one. Nevertheless, this is an entertaining early serial, with somewhat more complex character motivations than usual; the hero’s girlfriend is the villain’s daughter, and since neither of them want to lose her affection, they both have to exercise a greater amount of caution than usually shown. The villain has to deal with a henchman who dislikes at having his hands tied in dealing with these matters, and the hero has to deal with his inventor sidekick, who is something of a loose cannon. The latter character is one of those I love to see in a serial but rarely do; he’s almost gleefully paranoid, places booby-traps all over the place (which, more often than not, put our heroes in peril rather than preventing attacks by the villains), and loves toting his destructive weapons around with him. Some of the cliffhangers are just strange, but for the most part they’re fairly decent. All in all, a fun little serial.

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The Legend of Boggy Creek (1972)

THE LEGEND OF BOGGY CREEK (1972)
Article #1715 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-24-2005
Posting Date: 4-23-2006
Directed by Charles B. Pierce
Featuring Vern Stierman, Chuck Pierce, William Stumpp

A hairy monster wanders the wooded areas around Boggy Creek in Fouke, Arkansas.

When it comes to real-life monsters like this, I tend towards skepticism, but I recognize in myself a romantic desire to want to believe in their existence. This movie actually addresses this issue; the final narration grants the viewer the privilege to dismiss it as a hoax, but it does urge you to keep your eyes on the wooded areas near the roads should you ever be in the area, and I’m willing to bet that if I did make it down to Fouke, I would keep my eyes open. The movie itself is a mixed bag, but it is quite effective at moments; the locations are authentic and genuinely eerie, many of the characters are real people (I particularly liked Herb Jones, a hermit living deep in the bottoms who has a nearby tree decorated with bottles that he uses for fishing and who, incidentally, denies the existence of the monster), and at times there are interesting little touches of detail (I liked the fact that when the man is wheeled into the hospital, we get a quick glimpse of the hole in his sock). The recreation of the encounters with the beast are a mixed bag. The best involves a boy running into the woods with his rifle in the hope of bagging a deer, and the way the camera follows him as he runs for a spurt and then stops to listen for the howling of the dogs, runs again, etc. until he he suddenly finds himself facing the monster is wonderful. Far less convincing is the final third of the movie, a lengthy reconstruction of the story of two families who have moved to the area and encounter the monster. I also have little use for the sappy songs that pop up on occasion, but I could watch that eerie scenery for hours on end. Whether the monster exists or not, it’s obvious that the filmmakers used the spooky locations very well indeed.

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Legacy of Blood (1971)

LEGACY OF BLOOD (1971)
(a.k.a. BLOOD LEGACY)
Article #1714 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-23-2005
Posting Date: 4-22-2006
Directed by Carl Monson
Featuring Rodolfo Acosta, Merry Anders, Norman Bartold

Several heirs gather at the estate of an eccentric relative, and discover they must stay a week at the family estate if they hope to inherit their money. Someone begins to pick them off one by one…

Arrghh! Once again, I find a review I wrote five months ago has vanished, and I have to start from scratch. Yes, I could watch the movie again, but I don’t recall being particularly impressed with it the first time, and it certainly didn’t stick in my memory well enough to go over any details. The plot description should clue you in; it’s just an early seventies update of that old favorite, the “Old Dark House” plot. However, this being the early seventies, a few things are different; primarily, it’s bloodier and the characters are almost universally unpleasant. You should figure out one of the major twists in the story if you find it hard to believe that John Carradine would be used only in a short flashback and on the taped “reading of the will”. There is a certain rudimentary interest in seeing Faith Domergue and Jeff Morrow working together again, though.

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The Blood of Fu Manchu (1968)

THE BLOOD OF FU MANCHU (1968)
(a.k.a. KISS AND KILL / KISS OF DEATH / AGAINST ALL ODDS)
Article #1713 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-22-2005
Posting Date: 4-21-2006
Directed by Jesus Franco
Featuring Christopher Lee, Gotz George, Richard Greene

Fu Manchu concocts a plan to hold the world for ransom when he inoculates ten women with a deadly poison and sets them abroad to destroy his enemies and the world.

I’m not surprised that Fu Manchu returned to the screen during the sixties; with the popularity of James Bond, it certainly seemed the right time to resurrect one of the great super-villains of all time. Unfortunately, with this entry in the series, directorial chores were turned over to Jesus Franco. Franco does have a nice visual sense, I will admit; there are some stunning shots in this film, and it also has some striking if improbable use of color. Unfortunately, he has no sense of pace, he doesn’t seem interested in building suspense or telling a story, I’ve never been impressed by his use of sound, and he has a tendency to sap all the interest from whatever action is happening on the screen at the time. For me, the total effect is a simple one; despite some beautiful-looking scenes, the movie is devoid of fun, and fun is essential to this type of film. Still, this is a lot better than the follow-up, THE CASTLE OF FU MANCHU, but I’m afraid that’s not really saying much.

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Journey to the Seventh Planet (1962)

JOURNEY TO THE SEVENTH PLANET (1962)
Article #1712 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-21-2005
Posting Date: 4-20-2006
Directed by Sidney W. Pink
Featuring John Agar, Carl Ottosen, Peter Monch

A group of astronauts on a mission to explore the planet Uranus discover a startling Earth-like paradise, the creation of an alien brain with sinister intentions.

There is something about the movies that came from Sidney Pink and Ib Melchior that makes me wish that they had been better directors and writers. There’s the occasional neat idea, the colorful photography and the sometimes surprising storylines that make me wish they were better presented, but there’s always something to be enjoyed. Here, the concept of an alien that can create complex illusions is a novel touch, even if owes quite a bit to Ray Bradbury’s story “Mars is Heaven!”. There’s also a startling scene where a man starts to recount a memory of an old village, and we see the village appear in the background as he describes; this scene is the high point of the movie. Unfortunately, the story is a muddle (though the alien makes it clear at one point that he means to take over the Earth, I haven’t a clue as to how this whole set-up will help him accomplish this goal), the dialogue is laughable (especially whenever the men start talking about or flirting with women), and the pacing is terrible; there are so many gaps of dead air between the lines of dialogue that I bet you could cut ten minutes out of the movie just by editing them out. Yet, because of the good moments, the movie never becomes unwatchable. And I will give credit to the director for one thing; he has the cast pronounce the name of the planet so that it rhymes with the phrase “You’re honest.” rather than using the more common pronunciation (the one used in HERCULES AND THE CAPTIVE WOMEN, for example). At least he kept the movie from turning into an inadvertent series of sphincter jokes.

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Journey to the Center of Time (1967)

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF TIME (1967)
Article #1711 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-20-2005
Posting Date: 4-19-2006
Directed by David L. Hewitt
Featuring Scott Brady, Anthony Eisley, Gigi Perreau

A group of scientists are thrust into the future and then into the past when they experiment with time travel.

A perusal of David L. Hewitt’s credits on IMDB shows that he had an interesting career; he’s worked on special and visual effects, and as a producer, director, writer and occasionally actor (he played the title role in THE MIGHTY GORGA, for example). For this movie, he rewrote his story for THE TIME TRAVELERS and shot his own version of it on what looks like a mere fraction of the original’s budget. Though I admire his spirit, he should have left well enough alone; for the most part, this movie is a bore. I think a good seventy percent of this movie consists of either a) stock footage (especially the long travel back through time) or b) people standing at consoles spouting jargon. The middle of the story has been changed completely, but not in any positive way – there is a sequence involving blue aliens in the future that starts to set up a plot, but this whole situation is resolved so quickly that you wondered why the bothered. The only change I liked involved the ironic death of the villain, one of those stupid, boorish non-scientist types who puts everyone else in peril when he does something idiotic. The real problem with the movie is pace; Hewitt doesn’t know when a scene has gone on too long, and this is especially noticeable near the end when he borrows the time loop sequence from the original version of the movie and then makes each sequence in the loop go on too long to attain any of the sense of dramatic urgency. Still, for all that, there is something likable about the movie; I find his movies easier to enjoy than ones by Larry Buchanan or Andy Milligan, for example. Carol Burnett fans might be surprised to see Lyle Waggoner in a small role in this one.

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Frankenstein Created Woman (1967)

FRANKENSTEIN CREATED WOMAN (1967)
Article #1710 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-19-2005
Posting Date: 4-18-2006
Directed by Terence Fisher
Featuring Peter Cushing, Susan Denberg, Thorley Walters

Dr. Frankenstein takes the dead body of a deformed woman, cures the deformities and brings it back to life, instilling it with the soul of her former lover who had been wrongly executed for murder. She seeks vengeance on those who were really responsible for the murder.

I’m afraid that this entry in Hammer’s Frankenstein series doesn’t to a lot for me. Part of the problem is that the script seems obvious and weak. I find it hard to really enjoy a movie which tries this hard to push certain emotional buttons; the three drunk nobleman are such total rotters that they never emerge as real characters at all, and the attempts to gain sympathy for the deformed woman are so blatant and repetitive that they get truly annoying; if a movie is going to play on your emotions, it should do so subtly and convincingly. Still, the main problem is that the movie spends so much time concentrating on these one-dimensional characters rather than on Dr. Frankenstein himself, who, as played by Peter Cushing, is far and away the most interesting character in the movie. The more I see of Cushing, the more I marvel at his work; his ability to flesh out characters by using subtle quirks and interesting details is breathtaking, and he gives his characters an air of mystery that leaves you wondering what they’re thinking about at every moment. I like the movie when Cushing is on the screen, less so when he isn’t.

Still, I have to admit that I’ve developed a fondness for one other aspect of the Hammer Frankenstein series, and that is the lab equipment they use. There is something convincingly period about it all, and I like the fact that it all looks a little dingy and used rather than clean and spotless. In some ways, this style of lab equipment is as much a signature of these movies as the Strickfadden equipment was for the Universal series.

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