Vulcan, Son of Jupiter (1961)

VULCAN, SON OF JUPITER (1961)
(a.k.a. VULCANO, FIGLIO DI GIOVE)
Article #1626 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-27-2005
Posting Date: 1-24-2006
Directed by Emimmo Salve
Featuring Richard Lloyd, Gordon Mitchell, Bella Cortez

When Mars and Vulcan, rivals for the hand of Venus, have their powers taken away by an angry Jupiter over their squabbling, they go to Earth. Mars attempts to stage an uprising against Jupiter, while Vulcan attempts to save his people who are captured by lizard men and then made slaves by the minions of Mars.

Even by sword-and-sandal standards, this is pretty silly stuff. Usually, the gods keep somewhat in the background in these movies; here they’re front and center, with a tired and cranky Jupiter, an effeminate and fawning Mercury, a sarcastic Pluto, and a slatternly Venus (among others) romping around Olympus, home of the Gods and land of choral music and ground fog. The lizard men have long fangs and wear lizard costumes. The prisoners use a brilliant strategy to escape from them; they toss a musical dwarf into the sea. We also get to see Vulcan tote that dwarf around like a six-pack at one point. Still, I will admit that the dwarf is pretty handy with a club, even if he uses it primarily to hit people that are already down. Supposedly, the plan to attack Olympus involves building a tower tall enough to reach it, but even by the end of the movie they haven’t made much in the way of progress on it. It’s bizarrely plotted, full of howler lines, and ends with Jupiter laughing manically. This is a strange one.

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