The Cannibal Man (1972)

THE CANNIBAL MAN (1972)
aka La semana del asesino, Apartment on the Thirteenth Floor
Article 2900 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-16-2009
Posting Date: 7-22-2009
Directed by Eloy de la Iglesia
Featuring Vicente Parra, Emma Cohen, Eusebio Poncela
Country: Spain

When a slaughterhouse worker accidentally kills a cabbie, he finds himself caught up in a spiral of murder to cover up his crime.

This movie was promoted with a gimmick; patrons were offered free vomit bags when watching the film. Combine that with the lurid (and inaccurate) English title (the Spanish title translates into WEEK OF THE KILLER), and you have a promotional campaign designed to appeal to horror fans. The first half of the movie may satisfy them, but the second half won’t, as the movie’s focus shifts away from the killer’s spiraling nightmare and more onto his relationship with a neighbor who lives in a nearby high-rise who may be aware of the bodies that the killer is keeping in his bedroom. It’s this relationship that gives the movie its soul; it’s more interesting than the murder spiral, which gets repetitive in its predictability (people keep discovering the previous murders, and he has to keep killing new people). If the barf bags were useful at all, it was most likely during the opening slaughterhouse scene, which was probably grotesque enough to drive many people away who might have appreciated the subtler character aspects of the film. Still, given the subject matter, it’s no surprise it was promoted the way it was; after all, it had a better chance of making money that way than by being promoted as an art film. And it is at least halfway a horror film.

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The Return (1980)

THE RETURN (1980)
aka The Alien’s Return
Article 2899 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-15-2009
Posting Date: 7-21-2009
Directed by Greydon Clark
Featuring Jan-Michael Vincent, Cybill Shepherd, Martin Landau
Country: USA

Twenty-five years ago, three people in a small town had an encounter with a UFO. Today, all three people find themselves back in town. What did the encounter mean, and what is in store for them?

It starts out all right; the encounter with the UFO is intriguing enough to catch our interest. But once the action shifts to the present, the movie loses focus and steam, and, despite attempts to rekindle our interest with a cattle mutilation subplot and some tepid action sequences, it never recovers. An interesting cast (which includes, among those listed above, Raymond Burr, Neville Brand and Vincent Schiavelli) can’t save it either, largely because most of them are wasted in weak roles. At heart, the movie is heavily influenced by CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, with touches of STAR WARS and 2001: A SPACE ODYSSEY thrown into the mix, but it spins its wheels too badly to have much impact. This one is dull and forgettable.

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Alakazam the Great (1960)

ALAKAZAM THE GREAT (1960)
aka Saiyu-ki
Article 2898 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-14-2009
Posting Date: 7-20-2009
Directed by Lee Kresel, Daisaku Shirakawa, Osamu Tezuka and Taiji Yabushita
Featuring the voices of Frankie Avalon, Sterling Holloway, Jackie Joseph
Country: Japan

When a monkey becomes king of the animals, the power goes to his head and he seeks to rule the humans as well (with the help of magic he learns from Merlin). His arrogance gets him imprisoned, and in order to gain his release, he must go on a pilgrimage to learn mercy, humility and unselfishness.

I first heard about this movie from the book “The Fifty Worst Films of All Time”. Quite frankly, the movie doesn’t belong on that list, but I can see how it made it. Despite having a good story and making creative use of animation on occasion, the movie has some problems, some of which I’m sure have more to do with changes made to adapt the story to English-speaking audiences. The choice of voice actors is questionable at times and the songs are very weak, but these are minor problems. I think its biggest problem is the music; the score seems to be perpetually frantic, constantly giving the sense that it’s some sort of non-stop action-packed spectacle when it should pull back and take a more lyrical approach much of the time. As a result, the movie ends up having a rather queasy unpleasantness about it, making it much harder to watch than it should be. I don’t know if the original version has this problem, but I suspect that if I watch it again, I may do so with the sound turned off so I won’t be distracted from the visuals. At any rate, I believe there’s a decent animated fantasy underneath all of this.

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Man in the Dark (1953)

MAN IN THE DARK (1953)
Aricle 2897 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-13-2009
Posting Date: 7-19-2009
Directed by Lew Landers
Featuring Edmond O’Brien, Audrey Totter, Ted de Corsia
Country: USA

A criminal who masterminded a payroll robbery is the subject of a brain operation that is designed to eliminate his criminal tendencies. It also gives him amnesia about his former life. However, he is then kidnapped by his old cronies who want to find out where he hid the money from the robbery…

According to IMDB, this is a remake of THE MAN WHO LIVED TWICE, and it certainly shares the basic premise of that movie. It does, however, take the story in a different (and much more conventional) direction. It also updates it, by giving it a noirish feel and shooting it in 3-D, and, though I saw it flat, it looks like it must have been fun if seen that way. The noir touches are less successful; all too often, the dialogue comes off as forced and phony rather than sharp and crackling. Still, the movie is watchable and quite entertaining, and with a running time of only seventy minutes, it doesn’t wear out its welcome, though its occasionally rushing to get to some plot points while taking its time to get to others ends up leaving it feeling a bit silly. There’s a great dream sequence, though, in which the criminal finds himself being chased by cops in an amusement park, even when he gets on a bumper car ride.

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The Devil’s Eye (1960)

THE DEVIL’S EYE (1960)
aka Djavulens oga
Article 2896 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-12-2009
Posting Date: 7-18-2009
Directed by Ingmar Bergman
Featuring Jarl Kulle, Bibi Andersson, Stig Jarrel
Country: Sweden

The devil is plagued by a sty in his eye, the result of a woman who has so far remained a virgin before marriage. To fix the situation, he sends up Don Juan to seduce her. Will evil triumph, or will good save the day?

Comedies are not Ingmar Bergman’s specialty, and he knows it, so, through the use of some distancing techniques (the movie is narrated by Gunnar Bjornstrand, who makes sure we understand what Bergman’s intentions are), he makes sure we get the point. It is a comedy, and an amusing one, but Bergman being Bergman, it’s certainly not an empty-headed one; he uses it as a springboard to explore good and evil and the subtleties with which these two forces play off of each other. We have three different temptations here; Don Juan tempts the virtuous young woman, Don Juan’s servant tempts the wife of the vicar (against Satan’s wishes), and a troublemaking demon (sent along to keep Don Juan on his task and to make sure Don Juan’s servant doesn’t get what he wants) tempts a naive vicar. The third of these conflicts is perhaps the most amusing, and its resolution ends up impacting the success of the other temptations. In the battle there does emerge a clear winner, but things are never that simple in Bergman’s universe, and the other side does have some success. The performances are all wonderful, though Bibi Andersson, Nils Poppe and Sture Lagerwall stand out the best.

I hope I get to see some more of Bergman’s work as part of this series; he is rapidly becoming one of my favorite directors.

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Beyond Atlantis (1973)

BEYOND ATLANTIS (1973)
Article 2895 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-11-2009
Posting Date: 7-17-2009
Directed by Eddie Romero
Featuring Patrick Wayne, John Ashley, Leigh Christian
Country: USA / Philippines

When a pimp discovers a source for rare pearls, he organizes an expedition to the island where they can be found. However, they have to contend with the natives, who may be descendants of the lost Atlanteans.

All you have to do is see Eddie Romero’s name next to John Ashley’s, and you’ll know it’s another Filipino movie. This one’s okay; the cast is fun (Patrick Wayne, Sid Haig, Eddie Garcia, Vic Diaz and George Nader), the women are attractive, and the underwater photography is excellent. However, the script is too unfocused to really build up any steam, which is a real problem in the final part of the movie. Furthermore, the Atlantean makeup is … well, let’s call it Wilderesque (and I don’t mean Billy, but his brother H. Lee, who directed the notorious KILLERS FROM SPACE). The ending is also pretty unsatisfying.

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Bedazzled (1967)

BEDAZZLED (1967)
Article 2894 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-10-2009
Posting Date: 7-16-2009
Directed by Stanley Donen
Featuring Peter Cook, Dudley Moore, Elanor Bron
Country: UK

When a short-order cook, depressed over his inability to work up the courage to ask a waitress for a date, makes a failed suicide attempt, he is visited by the devil, who offers him seven wishes for his soul. However, the devil has plenty of tricks up his sleeve…

This take on the Faust story is a cult favorite. It’s only moderately funny; for me, the best bits are Peter Cook’s petty jokes designed to spread misery, such as purposefully scratching records and calling people he knows are in the bathtub merely to tell them they’ve got a wrong number. However, it’s not the comedy that really centers this movie; it’s the wicked satire on religion that drives this one. Throughout most of the movie, the short-order cook is the main character, but by the end of the movie, you’ll realize that it’s the devil’s story that’s being told here, and by the end of the movie you’ll understand his plight very well. Most of the advertising centered on the presence of Raquel Welch in the role of Lust, and though she does a fine job, it’s really no more than a cameo. It’s Cook, Moore and Bron who really make this work, and they all do a fine job in taking on the various roles and personas given them by the script. It’s not for everybody, by any means; I suspect that devout Christians in particular might find this one offensive. Nevertheless, I think the final twist in the story is great, and I found the movie quite enjoyable.

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Bad Ronald (1974)

BAD RONALD (1974)
TV-Movie
Article 2893 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-9-2009
Posting Date: 7-15-2009
Directed by Buzz Kulik
Featuring Scott Jacoby, Pippa Scott, John Larch
Country: USA

When he accidentally kills a local girl, Ronald is hidden by his mother in a secret room so he can evade capture by the police. When the mother dies, the house is sold to a family that is unaware that Ronald is still hidden in the house.

In some quarters, this TV-Movie is considered to be notoriously bad. Well, it’s not near as bad as all that, but it is somewhat undernourished; I got the sense that the script was a couple of revisions away from being really complete; the plot points seem a little mechanical, the timeline is vague, and some of the character transitions are faulty. Still, it’s odd enough to give it a certain novelty value, and though the teenage girls are quite annoying, the acting is quite good. The fantastic content includes the theme of madness, and the idea that the house may be haunted (though we know it’s only Ronald). And, to its credit, at least this movie wasn’t another pilot for a tentative series. Still, I think it could have made a series (albeit a pretty bad one) … if they had retooled it into a sitcom. Plot holes abound; why doesn’t anybody notice the disappearance of Mrs. Schumacher for one thing, and why can’t anyone hear Ronald using the bathroom?

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Attack of the Robots (1966)

ATTACK OF THE ROBOTS (1966)
aka Cartes sur table
Article 2892 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-8-2009
Posting Date: 7-14-2009
Directed by Jesus Franco
Featuring Eddie Constantine, Francoise Brion, Fernando Rey
Country: Spain / France

A series of political assassinations have occurred. These have been committed by dark-skinned assassins who turn white upon death. On investigation, these assassins turn out to be kidnapped people turned into automatons, all of whom had a specific blood type. An Interpol agent (whose blood type matches) is sent on a mission, unaware that he’s actually being sent as a decoy to lure the assassins into the open.

It’s been ages since I’ve seen a Jess Franco movie (which, depending on your opinion of him, is either a blessing or a curse). As it turns out, this one (a spy adventure obviously influenced by the James Bond movies) is painless; it has a story, moves at a decent pace, and is consistently amusing. Part of the reason it remains amusing is the presence of Eddie Constantine, whose sense of humor I always find refreshing, and which I find much more likable than that of the James Bond movies for example. Furthermore, the fantastic content is much greater than is usual in these spy movies from the sixties. And I must admit it’s fun to see a spy movie of the era in good old black and white.

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Arnold (1973)

ARNOLD (1973)
Article 2891 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-7-2009
Posting Date: 7-13-2009
Directed by Georg Fenady
Featuring Stella Stevens, Roddy McDowall, Elsa Lanchester
Country: USA

A woman marries a rich man upon his death (his wife wouldn’t grant him a divorce) in order to get his fortune. She gets the inheritance, but only if she keeps his dead body with her for the rest of her life. Then, the dead man’s family begins dying in horrible ways, and the woman gets cassette tapes with the dead man’s voice indicating that he knows of the deaths.

This is another movie that I’d really like to like; it’s a comic revival of the “old dark house” motif, and even if the heirs aren’t required to stay in the house, there’s still the reading of the will, the painting with the eyehole, and the horrible deaths that may be from beyond the grave. It has some great gimmicks (the post-death marriage is novel, and I like a few touches, such as the man’s coffin having a tape deck installed) and a game cast all ready to give it their best shot, but it has problems; the direction is flat and dull, and it just isn’t very funny. Victor Buono comes off best as the minister who performs the marriage, but it’s a cameo, and most of the funnier bits are consigned to characters who aren’t associated with the main action of the movie. In particular, it’s a shame to see Stella Stevens wasted; she adds a certain pixieish charm to the proceedings, but, after the initial wedding gag, she’s really given nothing funny to do. The deaths are creative enough that this movie could have had a Dr. Phibes vibe in the right hands, but Georg Fenady is no Robert Fuest and there’s no character compelling enough to give the movie a strong center as Vincent Price’s was. I’m afraid I have to write this one off as a well-intentioned disappointment. Incidentally, this was Patric Knowles’s last movie.

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