TWO THOUSAND MANIACS! (1964)
Article 2023 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-28-2006
Posting Date: 2-25-2007
Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis
Featuring William Kerwin, Connie Mason, Jeffrey Allen

A group of northerners travelling in the South find themselves guests of honor during a centennial in a small southern town called Pleasant Valley. What they don’t know is that the guests of honor are slated to die in horrible ways as vengeance for an atrocity that occurred during the Civil War.

Herschell Gordon Lewis’s best film? Based on what I’ve seen of his work so far, I’m inclined to agree. Sure, it’s got plenty of problems; some of the acting is quite awful, (though both William Kerwin and Connie Mason are better here than they were in Lewis’s earlier BLOOD FEAST) and the final revelations are cliched and run on too long, to name a couple. But the movie lacks that static hangdog air that plagues so many of Lewis’s other movies; it’s the only movie I’ve seen of his that doesn’t seem to flaunt how low its budget is. Instead, there’s a surprising amount of energy here most of the time, and I attribute this to a variety of reasons. For one thing, it wasn’t produced by Lewis himself, and the budget was somewhat higher than is usually the case for his movies. But the biggest reasons may be the use of crowd scenes and the bluegrass music of the Pleasant Valley Boys; both of these elements add a marked energy to the proceedings.

There are also some striking and unusual moments here; the scene after the bloody “horse race” where one of the party organizers has to browbeat the shocked residents and the Pleasant Valley Boys into enjoying the proceedings really leaves one wondering whether this vengeance is the agenda of the whole town or only of a selected dictatorial few. I also liked a moment where a couple of the residents marvel at the invention of the car and speculate as to what sort of inventions they’ll have to play with at the next centennial. It’s moments like these which add a bit of dimension to what would otherwise be a one-note affair.

TRIUMPH OF THE SON OF HERCULES (1963)
aka TRIONFO DI MACISTE
Article 2022 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-27-2006
Posting Date: 2-24-2007
Directed by Tanio Boccia
Featuring Kirk Morris, Cathia Caro, Liuba Bodina

An evil queen is sacrificing peasant maidens to a fire god. Maciste is enlisted to defeat her and free the people.

I like to joke a little about how the same elements appear again and again in sword-and-sandal movies, and there is at least one storyline that repeatedly pops up in the form. The best known version of it is HERCULES UNCHAINED. The basic plot is this; an evil queen is doing something horrible to the peasants, a muscleman decides to stand up to her, the muscleman is captured by the queen, the queen gets the hots for the muscleman and uses magic to wipe out his memory and make her love him, he recovers his memory and escapes, he saves an imperiled women while peasants stage a revolt and defeat the evil regime.

That’s pretty much the plot in this one once again, and it makes this peplum utterly predictable; the only thing missing is a scene where Maciste bends the bars of a prison wall. The fantastic elements are the usual ones; Maciste has super strength, the queen has a magic sceptre, and the fire god is served by a race of horrific Uri men with long fingernails. Despite the fact that I have a soft spot for sword-and-sandal movies, I do find their repetitiveness rather tedious at times, and I’m afraid that’s the case here.

TERRIFIED (1963)
Article 2021 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-26-2006
Posting Date: 2-23-2007
Directed by Lew Landers
Featuring Rod Lauren, Steve Drexel, Tracy Olsen

A variety of people are being terrorized by a masked killer in a ghost town. All the people have something in common; they have close ties with a young woman.

This low-budget fright flick, the last movie by veteran director Lew Landers, has a mixed reputation; some people have fond memories of being scared by the movie, while others find it cheap and unconvincing. Me, I find both sides evenly matched on this one, as I feel both ways about it. There are times where the characters show a surprising degree of intelligence (I love the moment where one potential victim figures out that the murderer is purposefully trying to lure him away from the cemetery, and resolves to go there at once to find out why), but I think the movie is least successful when it’s trying to be frightening. The killer’s cat-and-mouse game with his victim (where he places him in peril, then allows him to escape only to capture him again) is pretty clever in theory, but it’s so badly marred by his harping on how scared his victim should be that it undercuts the effectiveness of the ruse; personally, I think it would have been a lot better if the killer didn’t say a word during his acts of terror. The identity of the killer is painfully obvious; I knew who it was ten minutes into the movie, but the movie actually works itself up to an effective ending once the unmasking occurs and we get some insight into why he’s doing what he’s doing. In short, this is one very mixed bag, but it has its moments, I think is worth catching for these alone.

THE TWO CRAZY SECRET AGENTS (1965)
aka DUE MAFIOSI CONTRO GOLDGINGER, THE AMAZING DOCTOR G
Article 1982 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-18-2006
Posting Date: 1-15-2007
Directed by Giorgio Simonelli
Featuring Franco Franchi, Ciccio Ingrassia, Gloria Paul

Two idiots get embroiled in a plan by a supervillain to turn world leaders into mindless robots.

I was surprised to find that the movie DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS had its defenders, most of whom felt that the presence of Vincent Price was enough to keep the movie from sinking to any utter depths of badness. I wonder how some of these people would contend with Franco and Ciccio movie without the benefit of Vincent Price. Well, here’s your opportunity. To begin with, I do have to admit that this movie is not entirely without merit; as a James Bond parody, it does have its moments. The movie does a fairly decent job when it’s zeroing in on some of the elements of GOLDFINGER and DR. NO for its targets, and at least one joke was brilliant (which I won’t give away other than to say that one presumably major character departs the story early in the proceedings). I actually laughed a couple of times. This last fact I consider amazing, because I’m surprised any joke could survive the incessant mugging and the painful histrionics of its starring comedy team. Actually, to be fair, I can’t really say how they would come across in their native language, and Ciccio (the tall one and the more subtle of the two) is tolerable. But whoever dubbed Franco here has a voice that could cut glass, and he really starts to grate early on. Still, even they had their supporters; they were actually big comic stars in Italy, and with a rating of 5.7 on IMDB (significantly higher than GOLDFOOT’s rating of 3.4 but lower than a whole slew of other movies of theirs), it’s obvious that they still retain a bit of popularity. This may be, but I have to say that any comedians that make me appreciate the relative subtlety of Jerry Lewis, the restraint of Larry Storch, and the commitment to dignity of the Three Stooges, is a little (OK, let’s face it: a LOT) too much for me.

EL TERRIBLE GIGANTE DE LAS NIEVES (1962)
aka THE TERRIBLE SNOW GIANT
Article 1979 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-15-2006
Posting Date: 1-12-2007
Directed by Jaime Salvador
Featuring Joaquin Cordero, Ann Bertha Lepe, Jose Chavez

A man and his wife find themselves in danger when reports of Yeti on the loose begin to circulate.

You know, it didn’t occur to me until I began watching this one that there was something inherently odd about a Mexican Yeti movie; Mexico seems like a singularly unlikely environment for a Yeti to live in. Furthermore, this one lives in a volcano, a fact I was able to glean from Robert Cotter’s “The Mexican Masked Wrestler and Monster Filmography”, a birthday present I got that has proved very useful when I encounter one of those undubbed, unsubtitled Mexican movies. For one thing, I would have never guessed that this was a sequel, but it is; it was the follow-up to EL MONSTRUO DE LOS VOLCANES (aka THE MONSTER OF THE VOLCANOES, which is how I knew the above fact). Still, I always find it interesting to catch a foreign film without dubbing on occasion; it really brings home just how much bad dubbing is responsible for making foreign movies look clumsy and goofy. For the most part, this movie looks no worse than most American movies from the same period; in fact, with the exception of THE ABOMINABLE SNOWMAN OF THE HIMALAYAS, it looks better than any of the other Yeti movies I’ve seen. However, that only lasts until the monster shows up, and whatever mood or suspense the movie had generated up to that point goes out the window. In fact, the monster turns out to be a double disappointment; not only does he look like your fat uncle in furry long-johns, but he turns out to be – well – let’s just say if THE MONSTER OF THE VOLCANOES was THE DEVIL BAT, this is THE DEVIL BAT’S DAUGHTER, and that is not a recommendation.

THE THRILL KILLERS (1964)
Article 1949 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-16-2006
Posting Date: 12-13-2006
Directed by Ray Dennis Steckler
Featuring Ray Dennis Steckler, Liz Renay, Joseph Bardo

Three escapees from a mental institution are on the loose and terrorizing and killing people. There’s also a homicidal maniac on the loose terrorizing and killing people. As a result, many people are terrorized and killed.

I think Ray Dennis Steckler had some real talent, both as an actor and a director. There are moments in this movie where his handling of the attack scenes makes them genuinely creepy and quite unnerving. He also had some interesting ideas; having the final chase take place between a psycho-on-a-horse and a cop-on-a-motocycle shows a certain amount of creativity. Unfortunately, the better moments here are undercut by a weak story, the lack of convincing characters, and a propensity for campiness. It seems to want you to take itself seriously, but it’s very difficult to take the movie that way when it opens with The Amazing Ormond hypnotizing you so that you would see the maniacs in the audience, and most of the attack scenes feature the swirling hypnotic footage that’s supposed to allow you to see them. All in all, it’s a mixed bag with a split personality, which is rather fitting for a movie about psychos on the loose, I suppose.

THE TESTAMENT OF ORPHEUS, OR DON’T ASK ME WHY! (1960)
aka LE TESTAMENT D’ORPHEE, OU NE ME DEMANDEZ PAS POURQUOI!
Article 1948 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-15-2006
Posting Date: 12-12-2006
Directed by Jean Cocteau
Featuring Jean Cocteau, Edouard Demithe, Francois Perier

A poet, floating through time, is shot with faster-than-light bullets so he can be resurrected and undertake his journey through a world where he is haunted by his own creations.

This is the fourth movie I’ve seen from Jean Cocteau. The earliest of his movies I’ve seen was BLOOD OF A POET, which I found fascinating if near impenetrable. Since then I’ve watched the relatively straighforward movies BEAUTY AND THE BEAST and ORPHEUS. I bought this movie as part of set of Cocteau movies referred to as the Orphic trilogy, which included both ORPHEUS and BLOOD OF A POET. Classifying ORPHEUS and BLOOD OF A POET as two parts of trilogy did have me scratching my head; they didn’t seem to be separate chapters of a trilogy. It was only after having seen this one that I stopped scratching my head.

THE TESTAMENT OF ORPHEUS was Cocteau’s last movie, and in it he returned to the symbol-filled approach to movie-making that he had used for BLOOD OF A POET. He spends much of his time musing on how his own creations take on a life of their own and search for the meaning of their existence; at least two of the characters from ORPHEUS reappear here. He also muses on the nature of celebrity, the ability of cinema to give the poet the ability to allow a large group of people to dream the same dream at the same time, and to engage in some of those fascinating special effects that mark his work. I find it fitting that the filmmaker most interested in the poetic use of special effects would come from the same country as Melies, who pioneered cinematic special effects. IMDB classifies the movie as a biography, but that word is singularly useless in conjuring up the almost giddy fantasy of this movie, in which Cocteau, playing himself, dies twice and then asks the viewer to only pretend to cry, since he himself is only pretending to die. And, like many deaths in Cocteau films, he dies only to be resurrected; in fact, he is referred to as an expert on Phoenixology at one point in the proceedings. The movie is fascinating for one willing to delve into Cocteau’s world, and it has certainly piqued my interest into rewatching his earlier films, particularly BLOOD OF A POET, which, armed with what I’ve learned of his work, may not prove to be not quite so impenetrable. On top of that, the movie is witty; I laughed out loud at some of the revelations. The movie is loaded with cameos of well-known people, including Brigitte Bardot, Yul Brynner, Jean Marais, Roger Vadim and Pablo Picasso.

At the end of the movie, Cocteau announces that this is his last movie, and hopes that we enjoyed it. I can assure him that, for myself at least, I did. Very much so.

THE TORPEDO OF DOOM (1966)
Feature version of the serial FIGHTING DEVIL DOGS
Article 1934 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-1-2006
Posting Date: 11-28-2006
Directed by John English and William Witney
Featuring Lee Powell, Bruce Bennett, Eleanor Stewart

Two marines pit themselves against a villain known as the Lightning, who has developed guided air torpedoes to destroy his enemies.

Among the batch of feature versions of serials that I’ve done recently, this one turns out the best. At least part of that reason is that it was from a serial from the thirties rather than a later one; the earlier serials were less frenetic and less episodic. There is a definite plot thread that runs through the serial, and this feature version does a very good job of keeping focused on that plot and pruning away only what is unnecessary. As a result, this feels a lot more like a feature film than some of the others of its ilk.

I do sometimes wonder if these feature versions of serials will vanish from the face of the earth at some time. Given that DVDs are an excellent format for certain forms that worked a little clumsily on VHS, I suspect that the serials themselves will be given a lot of attention, while these feature versions will be considered redundant and unnecessary. Though I do think that to some extent this is true, I still wish that they were more available than they are. But then, I wish everything was available.

THE TELL-TALE HEART (1928)
Article 1927 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-24-2006
Posting Date: 11-21-2006
Directed by Charles F. Klein
Featuring Otto Matieson, Heurford de Feurberg, Darvas

An insane man kills an old man because he can’t stand his eye, and then hides the body. He must then contend with an investigation from the law.

I was delighted to discover that my wife had in her collection a movie that had eluded my hunting efforts for several years. This silent take on the Edgar Allan Poe story stays scrupulously close to the original story, though it understandably foregoes the elaborate dismemberment of the body. It doesn’t turn the old man into a tyrant in an attempt to make us understand why he is killed; it is clearly established that it is the protagonist’s madness that impels him. This silent short is quite audacious; the sets are done in the style of THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI , it uses a jagged writing font for the title cards, and makes plentiful use of double (and sometimes triple) exposure to tell its story, and effectively uses the image of a pounding mallet to represent the beating of the heart. My favorite touch, though, is the portrayal of the two policemen, who speak and move in unison when addressing the young man, and who investigate the guilt in his eyes with a big, bizarre magnifying glass. All in all, this is the most satisfying take on the tale that I’ve seen to date.

THE TELL-TALE HEART (1941)
Article 1910 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-7-2007
Posting Date: 11-4-2006
Directed by Jules Dassin
Featuring Joseph Schildkraut, Roman Bohnen, Oscar O’Shea

A young man kills his older guardian and attempts to hide the body, but is haunted by the sound of the old man’s heart.

I have no real problem with this adaptation of the famous Edgar Allan Poe story; in fact, it’s the best adaptation I’ve seen of it to date. Joseph Schildkraut is intense and memorable in the role of the killer, the cinematography and direction are excellent, and, being a short, it doesn’t overstay its welcome. I do find myself reflecting a little, though, on the reasons for a certain change I’ve noticed in this and at least one other version of the story. In both this version and the one in LEGEND OF HORROR , the character of the old man is changed from kindly to bad-tempered and mean. I suspect this has to do with the language of film being different from the language of prose. The original story is all told from the point of view of the killer, and the thought processes that he undergoes and the obsessions that dominate him wouldn’t be easy to translate without endless voice-over narration. Other changes are more obvious; the story itself is a lot grislier than could be reflected by the cinema of the time. It’s always interesting to see how various filmmakers try to deal with the challenge of this story.