SO DARLING, SO DEADLY (1966)
aka Kommissar X – In den Klauen des goldenen Drachen, Agent Joe Walker – Operation Far East
Article 4901 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-15-2015
Directed by Gianfranco Parolini
Featuring Tony Kendall, Brad Harris, Barbara Frey
Country: Singapore / Italy / Austria / West Germany
What it is: Spyghetti

Agent Joe Walker and his sidekick Captain Tom Rowland go to Singapore to visit a scientist who has developed a filter that can turn lasers into death rays. However, an evil organization called the Red Dragon is also after the filter.

I’ve encountered the Kommissar X series once before with KISS KISS, KILL KILL, and I quite liked that one; they’re basically superspy pastiches with a somewhat lighter touch to them. I’m less taken with this one; the lightness feels a little more forced, the characters aren’t quite as much fun, the humor gets a little too Matt Helm-ish for my taste, there’s not a whole lot to the story, and the action sequences aren’t very satisfying. Granted, they’re not to be taken very seriously, but even on those terms, this one is a bit on the dull side. I hope this one is just a dip in the quality of the series, as most likely I’ll be watching all of them. The fantastic content is put on display once during the first half of the movie; then it falls into the category of a Gizmo Maguffin and isn’t used again. I was a little disappointed by this one.

SWAMP THING (1982)
Article 4892 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-6-2015
Directed by Wes Craven
Featuring Louis Jourdan, Adrienne Barbeau, Ray Wise
Country: USA
What it is: Comic book thriller

A brilliant scientist develops a formula for an aggressive form of plant life. When an evil genius tries to get the formula, the scientist becomes doused with the formula and turns into a powerful half man/half plant that roams the swamp.

This movie doesn’t have much of a reputation, but in terms of low-budget spectacle, it’s watchable; it managed to hold my attention throughout its running time. The swamp locations are the best thing about the movie; they’re colorful, atmospheric, and wonderful to look at. The Swamp Thing’s rubber suit looks like a rubber suit, but I can forgive that. The worst thing about the movie is the lazy and uninspired script; it’s full of bad pieces of dialogue, clumsy pieces of business and plot holes, and the story is a bit thin for its running time. As a result, we spend most of the middle of the movie having Adrienne Barbeau running around the swamp pursued by bad guys and being rescued by the Swamp Thing, with the occasional long-winded speech given by Louis Jourdan, who fancies himself a genius while not proving himself one. The climax of the movie is particularly weak, with Swamp Thing having an unmemorable battle with another monster. Ultimately, it’s the scenery that steals the movie (which includes Barbeau’s own natural assets). A sequel popped up several years later. I hope it had a better story.

THE SEASHELL AND THE CLERGYMAN (1928)
aka La coquille et le clergyman
Article 4891 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-5-2015
Directed by Germaine Dulac
Featuring Alex Allin, Genica Athanasiou, Lucien Bataille
Country: France
What it is: Avant-garde

A clergyman suffers from lust for a woman and hatred for a general.

Years ago I wrote a report on Antonin Artaud for a theatre history class; his sanity was questionable, and he was a proponent of what he called the “Theatre of Cruelty” in which the intent was to theatrically assault the audience. Once I saw his name on the credits of this one, I was fully prepared for something strange. Apparently, he himself hated what the film did to his screenplay; he insulted Germaine Dulac at the premiere, calling her “a cow”. Therefore, I assume that Dulac is primarily responsible for the non-linear strangeness of this one; though the lust of the clergyman appears to be the primary theme, there is no real narrative to the story and it plays out like a dream. Some of the sequences are quite striking, and there’s a dance scene that reminded me so much of a similar one in CARNIVAL OF SOULS that I wonder if Herk Harvey was familiar with this film. User comments on IMDB mention the film as a possible companion piece to UN CHIEN ANDALOU. On a side note, the movie was banned in the United Kingdom; the censors said “If it has a meaning, it is doubtless objectionable.”

SOMEWHERE IN TIME (1980)
Article 4887 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-31-2015
Directed by Jeannot Szwarc
Featuring Christopher Reeve, Jane Seymour, Christoper Plummer
Country: USA
What it is: Time travel romance

A playwright from 1979 becomes enamored with an actress in 1912, and finds a way to travel back to the past to meet her.

I hated this movie when I first saw it years ago. Watching it again now, I can see why I hated it; once the symphonic score rears it lush romantic head, the movie practically grabs me by the lapels, shakes me and screams “THIS IS A ROMANCE!!!!”, and I must confess I’m not actually keen on being shaken, especially for a romance. However, having spotted the culprit that made me hate the movie the first time, I found the movie much easier to endure now that I know what drove me away the last time. Even at that, I didn’t really grow to like anything about the movie until the playwright actually does travel to 1912, because it’s only at that point that the movie loosens up and starts to relax. Easily the best thing about the movie is Christopher Reeve’s performance; despite the fact that he is the epitome of the “handsome leading man”, his ability to play up a character’s nervousness and awkwardness and his knack for finding the humor makes him feel likable and approachable. In fact, the movie is well-acted by all concerned, and I can admire that despite the fact that the movie was made in the late seventies, it projects an aura of being a movie from the forties. Still, the movie is what it is, and that’s a tear-jerking romance, and if that’s not what you’re looking for, the movie’s appeal will be somewhat limited. No, I don’t hate the movie anymore, but it has moved to the category of “movies I don’t have a whole lot of use for”, which isn’t exactly a recommendation, either.

SILVER BULLET (1985)
aka Stephen King’s Silver Bullet
Article 4886 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-30-2015
Directed by David Attias
Featuring Gary Busey, Everett McGill, Corey Haim
Country: USA / Netherlands
What it is: Werewolf movie

A young crippled boy stumbles upon the existence of a werewolf who is responsible for several murders in the area, but can he convince anyone of it?

Stephen King adapted his own novella into the screenplay for this adaptation of his work. I do have a few minor quibbles with the movie. The special effects, while being similar to those in AN AMERICAN WEREWOLF IN LONDON, aren’t quite as impressive, The motorcycle/wheelchair combo designed for the boy is a cutesy touch that seems to be in the wrong movie, and the movie leaves some of its interesting ideas undeveloped. Nevertheless, it’s a credit to the movie that those ideas are there in the first place, and what I like about the movie, I really like. There’s a certain Bradbury-like feel to the movie, what with its small-town setting and being told from a child’s point of view. I also like the relationships and conflicts between the characters. And I love the ways it uses its references to THE WOLF MAN; the first victim of the werewolf bears a strong resemblance to Lon Chaney Jr., and the movie not only uses the ground fog from the earlier movie, but it actually finds a practical horrific use for the effect. And I love the line about the Lone Ranger. All in all, I really liked this one.

SPASMO (1974)
Article 4865 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-8-2015
Directed by Umberto Lenzi
Featuring Robert Hoffmann, Suzy Kendall, Ivan Rassimov
Country: Italy
What it is: Dreamlike giallo

A man hooks up with a woman, kills a stranger in her bathroom, and then tries to figure out what’s going on.

There are certain types of movies out there where, for most of their running lengths, you have one question running through your mind, and that question is “What the hell is going on?” That’s not necessarily a bad thing if what’s happening on a moment by moment basis is fascinating enough to keep you glued to the screen. Unfortunately, I don’t find that the case here; most of the action consists of giallo and mystery cliches, driving scenes, people wondering what’s going on, and conversations that seem to be mostly made up of people mouthing half-completed vague generalities. To me, this doesn’t build suspense; it just makes me itchy for the movie to get around to the point where it actually shows us the hand its playing. And, after seventy minutes of futzing around in vagueness, all I can say is that there better be one humdinger of a revelation to make it feel worth the effort. Sadly, I found no humdingers. As for the giallo elements, it’s surprisingly light on blood, but there’s a fair amount of sexual perversion to go around. Some people will probably like this one for its dream-like qualities; I myself have seen better dreams.

SUPER LULU (1947)
Article 4858 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-28-2015
Directed by Bill Tytla
Featuring the voices of Jackson Beck and Cecil Roy
Country: USA
What it is: Little Lulu cartoon

Little Lulu is ordered by her father to stop reading super-hero comics and read “Jack and the Beanstalk”. She dreams that her father is kidnapped by the giant in the latter book, and she uses super powers to rescue him.

After the Fleischers left Paramount, there appears to have been a dramatic drop in the quality of the studio’s animated output. Based on this cartoon, I’d have to say the area that took the biggest hit was the visual quality of the cartoons; except for a nice, moody shot of the giant’s castle, on a visual level this cartoon is rather dull and flat. Still, the animation itself was still nice and fluid, and there are a few decent gags on hand as well, my favorite being when the giant takes on Super Lulu in an arm-wrestling contest. And, like the last Popeye cartoon I saw, there’s a reference to the Superman series as well. The end result is a cartoon that is merely passable.

SPRING NIGHT (1935)
Article 4857 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-28-2015
Directed by Tatiana Tuttle
Featuring Charles Arnt, Nana Gollner, David Lichine
Country: USA
What it is: Dramatic ballet short

A girl wanders into a park at night and falls asleep near a status of Pan. She dreams that the statue comes to life and dances with her.

The crawl at the opening of this short describes it as an experiment in dramatic ballet, and I would say the experiment is rather successful. For one thing, it chooses to be cinematic rather than stagebound. It’s also not all dance; the first half of the short is told in a more straightforward manner, and the dancing doesn’t start until after the statue comes to life. The dancing is very good, and there’s even a slightly erotic feel to the short, which is surprising for a movie from this era. The short has a good visual sense, and even manages to tell a bit of a story during its run. I quite liked it, and I’m not even a fan of ballet.

SANTA’S WORKSHOP (1932)
Article 4850 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-18-2015
Directed by Wilfred Jackson
Featuring the voices of Pinto Colvig, Walt Disney, Allan Watson
Country: USA
What it is: Silly Symphony

Santa and the elves prepare for Christmas day.

I think I’m beginning to get a handle on these Silly Symphonies from Disney. With the emphasis on music and rhymed dialogue, it has become fairly obvious to me that what these shorts were aiming for was whimsy, not comedy. Whimsy differs from comedy in that when the choice is given between something cute and something funny, whimsy will opt for the cute, and there’s a lot of that here. And though there’s no doubt a lot of creativity and excellent animation on display here as we see the elves going about their toy-making business, a little bit of whimsy goes a long way, and even though I may smile a bit at this, it never turns into a laugh, and the fact that the cartoon lacks anything in the way of a plot just makes it a little duller.

SCHWECHATER (1958)
Article 4849 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-15-2015
Directed by Peter Kubelka
Cast unknown
Country: Austria
What it is: Experimental film

No plot.

If the name of the director seems a bit familiar, it’s because it’s the same guy who directed ARNULF RAINER, which I covered just a few days ago. This one consists of snippets from what looks like several people eating and drinking at a table. Some of the snippets are stills; some are photographically distorted, and they’re edited together in a non-linear rapid-fire fashion, while an annoying electronic music ditty repeats itself on the soundtrack. No, it’s not as annoying as ARNULF RAINER; at one minute long, it’s too short for that, and it somewhat lacks the chutzpah of that one. It’s also much less memorable. The fantastic content is, like the other abstract films, that it’s clearly non-realistic, and thus at least marginally a fantasy. It’s also one of those movies that is difficult to say anything about; it has 461 votes on IMDB at the time of this writing, but not a single user comment.