PRIME RISK (1985)
Article 4121 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 12-31-2012
Directed by Michael L. Farkas
Featuring Lee Montgomery, Toni Hudson, Sam Bottoms
Country: USA
What it is: Thriller

A female hacker and her aspiring pilot boyfriend concoct a scheme to rip off money from ATMs. However, they stumble across a plot by spies to destroy the economy of the United States.

To point out that this movie is basically a rip off of WARGAMES is a no-brainer; the blurbs on the VHS packet hint so persistently at the identity of its model that it could justly be accused of wearing its Xeroxed heart on its sleeve. The main differences are in the details, especially in choosing economic disaster over nuclear destruction as its Armageddon. That being said, the movie is passable; not great, not awful, it serves as an acceptable time-killer when nothing better is on, and can easily be forgotten in time for the next movie that comes along. The biggest names in the cast are Keenan Wynn and Clu Gulager; the former seems a bit bored by the whole thing, while the other is fussy and cranky. All in all, this is another movie that I can now take off the hunt list.

PHANTOMS, INC. (1945)
Article 4105 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 12-13-2012
Directed by Harold Young
Featuring Arthur Shields, Ann Shoemaker, Frank Reicher
Country: USA
What it is: Short in the “Crime Does Not Pay” series

A couple is bilked by a fake medium who claims to be in contact with their son, missing in the war.

This short was part of MGM’s “Crime Does Not Pay” series, which illustrated the various types of criminal rackets and the way we can get caught up in them. Most of the shorts in the series probably do not fall within the genre limitations of this project, but this one, as it deals with spiritualism (albeit faked), does. It’s the only one I’ve seen from the series, so I can’t really compare it with the others. However, I will say this much; it’s effective in making us understand how we can be suckered into the machinations of these con men, how they obtain the necessary information to make the con work, and in getting us to feel the tragedy of the innocent victims who get caught up in the schemes. It is less effective in convincing us that the phony spiritualists will be caught, at least partially because it points out that some of these rackets do operate within the bounds of the law; in order for the criminals to be caught in this one, we have a melodramatic series of events that forces the con man to commit murder, and it is for this act, and not the racket in question, that he is arrested. As for the fantastic elements, those drawn to the short for a full-blown seance will be somewhat disappointed, as the spiritualist does little more than tell the victims what they want to here; no fake voices, ghostly figures, crystal balls, or other paraphernalia come into play.

PORKY’S MOVIE MYSTERY (1939)
Article 4048 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-3-2012
Directed by Robert Clampett
Featuring the voices of Mel Blanc and Billy Bletcher,
Country: USA
What it is: Cartoon

When the Phantom of Hollywood (as played by the Invisible man) is on the loose, the detective Mr. Motto (as played by Porky Pig) is called in to catch him.

Here is Warner Brother’s take on the B movie mystery Mr. Moto series, with Porky Pig doing his trademark stutter to a Chinese accent. This one is fun for fans of classic horror, as it not only features the Invisible Man (who’s on his rampage because they only used him in one movie) but the Frankenstein monster as well (being grilled by a diminutive detective). It’s not one of the best cartoons of the era, but it has a lot of fun with various cliches (including stock footage and a spate of newspaper headlines). And, if I’m not mistaken, the final caricature is of Hugh Herbert.

PALLE ALENE I VERDEN (1949)
aka Palle Alone in the World
Article 4047 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-2-2012
Directed by Astrid Henning-Jensen
Featuring Lars Henning-Jensen and Lily Broberg
Country: Denmark
What it is: Children’s fantasy

A small boy wakes up to discover that he’s all alone in the world, and he goes out to have adventures.

I found this one on YouTube. It’s in Danish, but nonetheless, it’s pretty easy to follow, since this involves mostly voice-overs in which we here the child’s thoughts. It’s pretty charming, with the child learning how different the world would be in these circumstances; for example, he originally goes to a bank to fill a bag with coins to buy things, but soon figures out with no one around, he doesn’t need the money. He goes to a movie theater, but with no one to run the movie, he doesn’t have much fun. He also drives a streetcar, a fire engine, and finally a plane that takes him to the moon. The ending is a cliche, but appropriate given the fanciful nature of the story, and in this context, it’s just part of the charm.

THE POSSESSED! (1976)
aka Help Me… I’m Possessed
Article 4042 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 9-27-2012
Directed by Charles Nizet
Featuring Bill Greer, Deedy Peters, Lynne Marta
Country: USA
What it is: A big question mark

A mad psychiatrist deals out cruel punishment to the patients in his sanitarium while a hideous monster runs loose and horribly mutilates people. Could these events be connected?

Well, whaddayaknow… it’s a good old-fashioned piece of bad seventies schlock horror. I haven’t tried too hard to think about this one; I suspect it would only make my head hurt to try. Let’s just say that with all of the gore and sadism on display, the movie nonetheless projects a certain amount of innocence that renders it pretty harmless. What can you say about a movie whose monster looks like a bunch of cherry licorice whips… at least, what you can see of it? Or about a movie whose title conjures up visions of THE EXORCIST while having nothing whatsoever to do with that movie? Don’t sit through the movie hoping to get a really good view of the monster – you’ll just be disappointed. When you get right down to it, the movie does have a little dumb campy charm to it, but when you’re not scratching your head, you’ll be shaking it. It’s just one of those movies.

PSI FACTOR (1980)
Article 4011 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-23-2012
Directed by Bryan Trizers
Featuring Peter Mark Richman, Gretchen Corbett, Tom Martin
Country: USA
What it is: Alien conspiracy thriller

When a civilian scientist attached to a military space probe project stumbles across evidence of extraterrestrial life, he finds himself on the run from those who want to cover up the discovery… as well as from the aliens themselves.

The minute I saw the names Sandler and Emenegger in the opening credits, I knew three things. 1) Steven Spielberg’s sister was going to be involved as well in some capacity (she’s an associate producer); 2) I could probably cobble together an equivalent production budget by raiding a line of gumball machines, and 3) despite the lack of means to effectively tell the story and the various problems that crop up, the movie will still have something going for it. Granted, the most satisfying elements in this movie come near the very end; for most of the running time, it plays like a bad conspiracy thriller with annoying characters (both the scientist’s girlfriend and the comic-relief pilot got on my nerves) and cliched dialogue. The oddest touch is a series of obviously symbolic scenes of children playing with insects; it happens enough that you know they mean something, but it’s not until the end of the movie that you’ll know what. The movie overall seems like a variation of the associate producer’s brother’s more famous CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND, but at least the final revelations are its own. Make no mistake; most of the movie is pretty bad, but I didn’t walk away empty-handed, and that’s always a plus.

PASI SPRE LUNA (1963)
aka Steps to the Moon
Article 3997 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-4-2012
Directed by Ion Popescu-Gopo
Featuring Ion Anghel, Marcel Anghelescu, Radu Beligan
Country: Romania
What it is: Fantasy of legend and history

A man, bound for the moon, dreams that he must wend his way through the world of legends, myths and history to make his way to his destination.

It’s movies like this that really brighten this whole project. It has no subtitles, but none are needed; the movie is virtually without talk. In his journey, our hero meets such luminaries as Prometheus, Cupid, Mercury, Galileo, Cyrano de Bergerac, Jules Verne and H.G. Wells, and attempts to fly to the moon in several different ways, including hitching a ride with an eagle, using a flying carpet, riding a witch’s broomstick, etc. There’s no real story, but it’s charming and engaging, and filled with touches of humor; the closest I can come to a comparison is with the works of Melies and Karel Zeman. The humor can be quite surprising at times; my favorite moment has the hero coming to the rescue of Prometheus by scaring the eagle away, wiping the brow or Prometheus, and then quietly and casually reattaching part of his fake beard that came loose.

THE PUMAMAN (1980)
aka L’uomo puma
Article 3967 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-30-2012
Directed by Alberto De Martino
Featuring Walter George Alton, Donald Pleasence, Miguel Angel Fuentes
Country: Italy
What it is: Stupor-inducing super-hero

An ancient mask of extraterrestrial origin falls in the hands of a villain who uses it to control men’s minds. Only Pumaman can defeat him… but the current incarnation of this hero is unaware of his powers. Can he learn the truth and fulfill his destiny?

This movie must surely be one of the biggest non-events in the history of superhero cinema. Heaven knows why he’s called Pumaman; most pumas I know don’t have the ability to fly or walk through walls. I don’t know which aspect is worst; the story is lame, the direction is turgid, the soundtrack is only rousing if you get excited about changing which floor you’re on in a skyscraper, the special effects are crummy (you will believe a man can flail before a blue-screen), and the hero has all the charisma of cardboard box. Even Donald Pleasence seems lost here, but then, he’s usually at his best when the script gives him something to play with, which is not the case here. At least Miguel Angel Fuentes has a bit of screen presence, but that’s about the best thing I can say about this one. At best, this one might be good for a laugh, but it’s more likely to induce sleep. About the only thing that held my attention was my speculation on the correct pronunciation of “puma”.

PEER GYNT (1934)
Article 3944 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-1-2012
Directed by Fritz Wendhausen
Featuring Hans Albers, Lucie Hoflich, Marieluise Claudius
Country: Germany
What it is: Ibsen drama

A ne’er-do-well from a small village makes his way into the world and becomes a successful businessman.

This movie has now been retrieved from my “ones-that-got-away” list; unfortunately, my copy is in unsubtitled German, and, even though I’ve seen the 1941 version of the story and read the original play many years ago, not enough stayed in my head to help me with this one. So I looked around for a plot description to help me, and I found one of the original play, and though this version of the story follows the story of the play for about the first thirty minutes, as far as I can tell after that, it diverges quite a bit. More to the point, the sequence where Peer Gynt encounters the troll king (which, from reading the plot description, takes place in a dream) has either been omitted from this version or changed to a much more realistic scenario. The problem is – that’s the sole fantastic content in the story, and with that gone, there’s really little reason for me to be covering this one. As it is, the language barrier makes it possible for me to appreciate the movie when the visuals or the energy make it work, so I really only found the energetic first thirty minutes and the last fifteen minutes consistently interesting; the rest was a talky bore. I might feel better if I get to see it with subtitles, so I’ll reserve judgment until then.

PLUS MOCHE QUE FRANKENSTEIN TU MEURS (1975)
aka Frankenstein: Italian Style, Frankenstein all’italiana
Article 3916 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-24-2012
Posting Date: 5-4-2012
Directed by Armando Crispino
Featuring Gianrico Tedeschi, Aldo Maccione, Jenny Tamburi
Country: Italy
What it is: Frankenstein sex comedy

Dr. Frankenstein creates a monster who has an eye for the women… including the doctor’s own spouse.

My copy of this Italian movie was dubbed into French and has no English subtitles. Yet, even with these handicaps, it seemed patently obvious to me that this movie was primarily inspired by YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN, only sexed up, with dumber gags, and minus the stylistic emulation of the old Universal classics that gave its model that extra needed touch. I can also say that if the verbal humor of this movie is on the same level as the visual humor, then it may well have been a blessing not to have seen it in English. Visually, the gags are painfully obvious and badly timed; the only thing that brought a smile to my face was a gag involving the monster fixing Igor’s hump. And for those drawn to this movie for the sex and nudity, I can only say that unless there’s a sexier version of it out there (or a more complete one, as my copy is short about three minutes), then you’re likely to walk away from this feeling short-changed. So it comes down to the fact that from whatever angle you may be attracted to this movie, there are lots of other better choices out there.