HOUSE ON STRAW HILL (1976)
aka Expose
Article 5107 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-13-2016
Directed by James Kenelm Clarke
Featuring Udo Kier, Linda Hayden, Fiona Richmond
Country: UK
What it is: Erotic thriller

A paranoid and somewhat disturbed writer hires a female typist to help him write his second novel. Then the murders start…

In the early eighties, the forces that be in the UK banned a number of videos that had fallen through the cracks of censorship and were deemed to be a threat to young video-watchers. This movie ended up on the list, and the comments on the back of the Blu-Ray disc jacket make a big deal of its “banned” status and emphasize the movie’s depravity and controversial nature. This may make the movie a cause celebre for those against censorship, but it doesn’t necessarily make it a great or even a good movie. I’m thinking it was mostly banned for the sex; it is more explicit in that regard than other non-porn movies of the period (though it seems rather mild when compared to some Eurosleaze movies). As for the blood and gore, the nastiest scene is just a slightly more explicit version of the shower scene in PSYCHO; there’s a bit more blood and more nudity. My problem is that all the sex and gore seems to be nothing more than gratuitous filler to pad out a plot that is threadbare, uninspired, and a little obvious. Furthermore, it ends with a final twist which (if you’re paying any attention at all to the timeline of the story) is incredibly ludicrous. And, when all is said and done, in comparison to some of the other titles on the Video Nasties list, this one is relatively tame. The curious may want to give it a watch, but it’s hardly essential viewing.

HOSPITAL MASSACRE (1981)
aka X-Ray
Article 5096 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-2-2016
Directed by Boaz Davidson
Featuring Barbi Benton, Charles Lucia, Jon Van Ness
Country: USA
What it is: Slasher film

On Valentine’s Day, I woman goes to the hospital to get the results of some tests, but when a sinister killer switches her test results, she finds herself held captive there to await further tests. What does the killer have in mind for her?

Like MY BLOODY VALENTINE, this one takes place on Valentine’s Day. Like HALLOWEEN II, almost all of the action takes place in a hospital. About half of the movie is made up of the usual slasher cliches; you’ll know them when you see them. It’s the other half of the movie that perks my interest up. It’s one of the rare slashers where the murders don’t seem indiscriminate; the killer has a specific reason he targets every one he does. The movie also has some unexpected quirky touches, such as the way that practically every character you encounter is at least a little bit creepy, or the way that a sense of humor permeates the proceedings; one of my favorite moments has our heroine looking for help in a room populated only with three men in complete body traction. It’s also one of those movies where the fake scares are actually a bit fun.
All in all, this is a mixed bag, but I have to admit I liked this one a bit better than I do most slasher films.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, WANDA JUNE (1971)
Article 5049 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-13-2016
Directed by Mark Robson
Featuring Rod Steiger, Susannah York, George Grizzard
Country: USA
What it is: Comedy/drama

After having been missing in the jungle for eight years, a macho hunter/soldier of fortune returns home to his wife and son, who have to adjust to the changes in their lives.

Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. wrote the screenplay for this, adapted from his own stage play. I’ve encountered Vonnegut before in this series, having seen SLAUGHTERHOUSE-FIVE (a better movie) and SLAPSTICK (OF ANOTHER KIND) (a much worse movie). Most of Vonnegut’s work falls within the bounds of science fiction, but this is one of the exceptions. Most of it plays a like a straight comedy-drama, but a few scenes take place in heaven, a place where everyone plays shuffleboard and which apparently doesn’t exclude certain individuals for reasons of morality (Adolf Hitler and Jack the Ripper are there, for example). I’d read the play many years ago and didn’t feel it was one of Vonnegut’s best efforts, though I think it plays better once you match up actors to the characters. This one has an excellent cast, with fine performances from Steiger, York and William Hickey. It’s a meditation on life, death, heroism, cultural changes, and anything else that crosses Vonnegut’s mind. It’s an interesting movie, though I’m not sure it’s a great one; it’s one I may have to think about and revisit before I really know how I feel about it.

HUMAN EXPERIMENTS (1979)
Article 5025 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 12-21-2015
Directed by Gregory Goodell
Featuring Linda Haynes, Geoffrey Lewis, Ellen Travolta
Country: USA
What it is: Mad scientist, WIP style

A singer is mistakenly sentenced for the mass murder of a family, and is sent to prison. There she becomes the target of a psychiatrist who is experimenting with an extreme therapy technique designed to make her a decent citizen…but which has only brought death to its subjects so far.

Most of the movie plays like a depressing, dreary women-in-prison film, somewhat less exploitative than others of its ilk. The rest of the movie is mostly concerned with the woman undergoing the therapy technique, the implementation of which strikes me as pretty unbelievable on any level. This movie is one of many which ended up on a “video nasty” list of movies that were banned in Britain. I’ve seen most of the others on this list, and this is easily the mildest of the bunch; in fact, I would imagine anyone drawn to this one for the gore and nastiness would go away very disappointed. The most grotesque scene has our heroine trapped in a cell with a lot of creepy-crawly insects, a scene which is rather disgusting but it also strains credibility, given the situation. Throw in one of those ambiguous endings, and you have just one more thing not to like about the movie. In some ways, the movie is watchable enough, largely because there’s a certain in curiosity value in finding out what is going to happen, but overall it’s a very unsatisfying experience.

THE HITCHER (1986)
Article 4995 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-21-2015
Directed by Robert Harmon
Featuring Rutger Hauer, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Country: USA
What it is: A nightmare

A man driving a car through Texas picks up a hitch-hiker in the hopes that the latter will keep him awake on his drive. When the hitch-hiker proves to be a homicidal maniac, the driver manages to escape, only to find him stalked by the former passenger. When he tries to contact the police, he discovers that he is the one wanted for the string of murders…

Reportedly, some people find this movie fascinating, while others find it merely repellent. I place myself in the earlier category this time; there’s something positively other-worldly about this strange cross between a psycho killer movie and DUEL, and there seem to be some mystic overtones to the story. To me, there’s clearly some sort of bizarre psychic link between the hitch-hiker and the driver here, and this goes a long way towards explaining why I’m willing to buy into a usually unbelievable set of coincidences. That’s why the hitch-hiker knows what the driver is going to do and where he’s going to be, and towards the end I sense that the link starts to run both ways. There is some gore, but most of the really horrific stuff is left to our imagination, which is somehow more effective. Furthermore, it all seems to take place in a world of deserts, truck stops, diners and police stations that doesn’t seem quite real; in some ways, the movie even feels like a western of sorts. All in all, I found the movie harrowing and moody, and much of the horror is less about dying than what an experience like this can do to you on the inside. I found it very effective and very sad.

HEAVY METAL (1981)
Article 4994 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-19-2015
Directed by Gerald Potterton
Featuring the voices of Don Francks, Caroline Semple, Richard Romanus
Country: Canada
What it is: Animated SF anthology

A glowing globe of evil tells tales of the evil it brings.

This animated SF anthology was apparently modeled off of a graphic science fiction magazine of the same name. I’ve never read the magazine, so I can’t say whether this movie is true to its spirit or not, but if this movie does so, than I wouldn’t have really enjoyed it. The movie definitely tries to be an “adult” work of science fiction, which means it’s heavy on the gore, nudity and sex; however, the stories that support the gore, nudity and sex aren’t particularly engaging. I like the futuristic noir pastiche about a cabbie the best; for one thing, it actually feels like it’s more or less telling a complete story. The two epic fantasies come across as rushed and cramped (the second one would have worked better if it had been developed into a full length movie), the zombie story feels more like an undeveloped idea, the first comic story (about a man on trial who has an “angle”) has a disappointing ending, and the second one (which feels influenced by underground comix and drug humor) is a mess, though it does feature the voices of several SCTV alumni. There’s lots of rock music on the soundtrack, and from what I gather, it was getting the rights to all this music that kept the movie off the DVD market for ages. Overall, I admire the movie’s ambitions, but I can’t say I found it satisfying.

THE HINDOO FAKIR (1902)
Article 4992 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-18-2015
Director unknown
Cast unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Magical trick short

A hindoo fakir does magic tricks.

Anybody who has been following my series has an idea of how many of these early silent “magic trick” shorts I’ve seen in the last few years, and has probably noted how difficult it is for me to say something fresh and interesting about each one; many of them are interchangeable. For the record, the most interesting thing about this one is the magic tricks seem to consist of common stage magic tricks combined with purely cinematic magic tricks, and the fact that you know the former were probably pulled off with the same tricks as the latter takes some of the illusion away. Still, as tired as I am of these shorts, I do have to remind myself that only a fraction of these early short remain. One wonders how many of these shorts I would end up seeing if they were all extant, so perhaps I should count my blessings. And, lest we forget, it’s shorts like these that helped pave the way for the development of special effects.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)
Article 4991 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-17-2015
Directed by J. Lee Thompson
Featuring Melissa Sue Anderson, Glenn Ford, Lawrence Dane
Country: Canada
What it is: Slasher film

Somebody is knocking off an elite group of ten students at Crawford school. Who is the killer… and what does this have to do with the repressed memories of a girl’s mother’s death?

Glenn Ford in a slasher film? To me, that’s a sign that this is a fairly classy affair for a slasher film, and it looks to me like more money and effort went into this one than usually is reserved for that genre. And actually, it seems to pay off in some ways. The overall level of acting is much stronger than is usually found in slasher films, some of the murders are quite creative, and amazingly enough, it actually manages to hold the interest throughout a 110 minute running time. Which is not to say that it doesn’t succumb to a few problems. Characters act quite stupid at times (worst example: if you’ve just managed to escape the clutches of a homicidal killer, don’t just run twenty feet away and think you’re safe), too many of the fake scares require that characters act far more sinister than there is any reason for them to be, and, though I’m glad the movie eschews the cliche of the “unexpectedly unkillable supernatural killer”, its final twist really strains credibility. Still, I’m not going to grouse too much; whatever its flaws, this one tries to be a step above the usual slasher fare, and for the most part, it succeeds.

HEXEN GESCHANDET UND ZU TODE GEQUALT (1973)
aka Mark of the Devil Part II
Article 4948 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-5-2015
Directed by Adrian Hoven
Featuring Erika Blanc, Anton Diffring, Percy Hoven
Country: West Germany / UK
What it is: Exploitation horror

When a countess tries to get justice for the murder of her husband by a witch-hunter, she finds herself targeted by the witch-hunters themselves.

The catchphrase for MARK OF THE DEVIL was “Likely to upset your stomach”. This one bragged about having “Ten scenes that you will positively not be able to stomach”. You know, it’s really difficult to warm up to movies whose stated main intention is to make you vomit. Also, when a movie’s whole avowed purpose is to show corrupt, cynical sadistic men doing horrible things to mostly naive women in a brutal, uncaring world, it becomes difficult to care about anything that happens in the movie, especially when you suspect that the movie serves no other purpose than to be repellent. I know there are people who love this sort of thing; me, I can find them as dull as a treacly children’s movie; there’s so little in the way of real surprises. This was a waste of my time.

HAUNTED CAFE (1911)
aka Das verzauberte Cafe
Article 4893 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-7-2015
Director unknown
Cast unknown
Country: Germany
What it is: Comic trick film

A man falls asleep in a restaurant and dreams that bizarre things are happening.

By 1911, this sort of trick short was old hat. It’s basically the usual shtick; furniture disappearing and moving around, people and things appearing out of nowhere and changing into other people and things, etc. Nevertheless, there is something that sets this one apart, and that is the performance by the lead actor. Rather than just watching or being a part of the bizarre occurrences, he actually reacts to them in a comic fashion as if they’re really happening, which, given the number of trick effects, is a pretty impressive feat. His performance gives an extra lift to the concept to make this one quite enjoyable. This is another one just rescued from my “ones that got away” list.