HOMUNCULUS PART IV (1916)
(a.k.a. HOMUNCULUS, 4. TEIL – DIE RACHE DES HOMUNCULUS)
Article #465 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 6-23-2002
Posting date: 11-16-2002

Plot description may follow someday when I understand German.

Someday I hope to read up on silent serials; from what I’ve been able to gather so far, early serials were a somewhat different animal than the “twelve eighteen-minute episodes that appear after the short subjects but before the movie” creature that we are largely familiar with. HOMUNCULUS was a German serial that had six episodes and ran in its totality about seven hours; in other words, each of its episodes ran about the length of a short movie; in one sense, it’s more akin to the modern TV miniseries than to a serial. IMDB gives each of the episodes a different listing, and that’s how I’m going to handle them, but don’t worry; you’re not about to get a whole string of “I can’t understand this; it’s all in German” MOTDs. That’s because episodes one, three, five and six are lost to the world, and only a fragment survives of episode two. Episode four is the only complete episode, and I can’t understand it, because it’s all in German. Still, there were a couple times that visions of the 1931 FRANKENSTEIN popped into my mind; there are a few sequences of villagers running around in that monster-hunting fashion so common to the Frankenstein movies, and there’s a sequence showing the remains of a fire that looks for all the world like it took place at a mill. The Homunculus himself looks human enough; it is his lack of a human soul that made him monstrous. This is another one that goes into the “further research necessary” category.

HERCULES IN THE VALE OF WOE (1961)
(a.k.a. HERCULES IN THE VALLEY OF WOE/MACISTE AGAINST HERCULES IN THE VALLEY OF WOE)
Article #450 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 6-8-2002
Posting date: 11-1-2002

Two wrestling promoters travel in time to ancient Greece, where they pit Maciste against Hercules in a wrestling match.

Considering the sheer volume of sword-and-sandal epics that came out of Italy in the later fifties/early sixties, I’m not surprised that at least one of them would be a comic take on the subject. I just wouldn’t expect it to have the words “Vale of Woe” in the title. It’s not even a case of two comic characters popping up in a regular sword-and-sandal story; in this movie, practically everyone is a comedian. Actually, despite (or maybe because) of the substandard dubbing, it is sporadically funny, but that may be pure mathematics; it throws out so many gags that some of them are bound to stick. In fact, some of the jokes work simply because the movie’s moved on to the next one before you’re given a chance to dwell much on it. Still, it is one of those movies you can make frequent visits to the refrigerator in the assurance that you’re not missing much.

THE HOUSE THAT SCREAMED (1969)
(a.k.a. FINISHING SCHOOL)
Article #447 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 6-5-2002
Posting date: 10-29-2002

A girl’s school is the setting for a series of murders of girls trying to escape.

All right, it’s question and answer time.

Q. Is the school run by a sadistic and dictatorial headmistress?
A. Yes, it is.

Q. Does she have a sexually repressed son who is also a voyeur, and with whom she has a somewhat incestuous relationship?
A. Yes, she does.

Q. Are all the girls in the school also sexually repressed?
A. Yes, they are.

Q. Is there a secret coterie of lesbian girls who actually control much of what goes on in the school from behind the scenes?
A. Yes, there is.

Q. How long did it take you to read these questions and answers and absorb the information therein.
A. Probably no more than a minute and a half.

Q. How long does this movie dwell on all the above premises before anything happens that really gets the plot moving?
A. About three-quarters of its 100 minute running time; in other words, about seventy-five minutes.

Q. Is this inefficient?
A. I would say yes.

Actually, some of the scenes work quite well, taken individually. As a whole, I’d say it’s more for fans of sexual repression, the aspect of the movie that most of the running time is dedicated to showing.

HOUSE OF HORRORS (1946)
Article #446 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 6-4-2002
Posting date: 10-28-2002

A crazed sculptor befriends a homicidal maniac in order to mold a statue of his face; he also uses him to do away with unfriendly art critics.

First of all, what’s with the title? There have been many movies over the years that could have accurately been called HOUSE OF HORRORS; this isn’t one of them. First of all, the sculptor and the creeper don’t live in a house; they reside in a sculptor’s studio. Secondly, none of the murder’s are committed in the studio; the creeper seems more than willing to visit his victims at their own abodes (maybe it was meant to be called HOUSE CALLS OF HORROR). They could have called it THE CREEPER, but then Jean Yarbrough would have had to rename the movie he made two years later with that title. Still, this is probably all beside the point; this low-budget horror movie is entertaining enough. Martin Kosleck gives a nice performance as the sculptor, and as always, Rondo Hatton’s presence can’t be ignored. His character doesn’t seem to have any real motivation for some of his murders; he says he kills the women because they scream, but he was usually stalking them some time before they actually do this. Still, a more complex character may have been outside Hatton’s range as an actor. Nevertheless, I do believe that a sculptor would have jumped at the chance to use him as a model; there is no doubt that Rondo’s face did indeed have a real sense of power to it, and when the sculptor describes it as beautiful, you can see what he means.

HAVE ROCKET, WILL TRAVEL (1959)
Article #398 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 4-17-2002
Posting date: 9-10-2002

Three janitors accidentally take off in a rocket and land on Venus.

It’s the Three Stooges. Some people love them, some people hate them. I’m on the fence. Sure, they essayed the most primitive of slapstick humor, but they did so with energy, a good sense of timing (and sometimes even exquisite timing), and they had a good ear for funny sound effects. Even here, in their waning years (no Curly or Shemp; instead, we have Curley Joe Derita), they still retained enough timing and imagination to be fitfully amusing, and in truth, that’s all I really expect from them. Sure, it’s not a great movie by any means, but I prefer it to ABBOTT AND COSTELLO GO TO MARS for a start, even if the last twenty minutes feels more like an extra short was tacked on to a finished movie. Besides, what other movie do you know has a computer with arms, a unicorn, AND a flame-throwing giant spider?

HOLD THAT HYPNOTIST (1957)
Article #372 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 3-22-2002
Posting date: 8-8-2002

Sach is hypnotised and regressed to discover that he was a tax collector who came into possession of a map showing the location of Blackbeard’s treasure.

Sooner or later I knew I’d run across the Bowery Boys in my cinematic travels; unfortunately, this one, lacking Leo Gorcey, is hardly representative. This leaves Huntz Hall to carry the load, and he does okay, but no better than that. The plot is based on the Bridey Murphy case; I was going to say “inspired by,” but that implies that inspiration was at work here. The Bowery Boys weren’t talentless; I can see traces of some decent comic timing at work here and there. But by this point in the game, they were largely going through the motions, and without Gorcey’s malapropisms, all we really have left is Huntz’s mugging. This is not the place to start with them.

HIS PREHISTORIC PAST (1914)
Article #365 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 3-15-2002
Posting date: 8-1-2002

The little tramp dreams he is a castaway in stone-age times.

I once said that the primary reason for caveman movies was to see dinosaurs, plus women in skimpy outfits. Well, there’s women in this one, but the outfits are none too skimpy, and instead of dinosaurs, we have Charlie Chaplin. This should seem like a fair trade; after all, Chaplin was considered a comic genius. Unfortunately, this pointless, aimless and tiresome set of slapstick gags features the genius on one of his off-days; there is nary a laugh to be had, and you really begin to wish a slurpasaur would show up. Where’re Ignatz and Rumsford when you need them?

HERCULES UNCHAINED (1959)
Article #364 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 3-14-2002
Posting date: 7-31-2002

Hercules tries to prevent a war between the two sons of Oedipus, but ends up ensnared by the evil queen of Lydia.

I have to admit that this is one of my favorite sword and sandal movies; like its predecessor (HERCULES), it begins with a specific story in Greek mythology; in this case the Seven Against Thebes legend about the struggle between Eteocles and Polynieces for the kingdom of Thebes. Then, about thirty minutes into the movie, it takes a turn into typical sword and sandal territory; namely, Hercules is seduced by an evil queen. Still, it doesn’t stint on the spectacle, especially in the last half hour of the movie. Plus, Hercules gets to wrestle with Antaeus (Primo Carnera) at one point, gets to throw a big table at a bunch of hapless guards, fights a tiger, and bends some bars (underwater this time; is their no limit to this man’s talents?). Sword and sandal doesn’t get more fun than this.

HOMICIDAL (1961)
Article #359 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 3-9-2002
Posting date: 7-26-2002

A blonde woman murders a justice of the peace under the name of a woman who runs a flower shop.

William Castle’s take on PSYCHO does a pretty good job of emulating that movie without stealing from it outright; the first murder definitely comes as a surprise. I was able to figure out the final twist the first time I saw it, largely as a result of noticing that a certain character’s voice had been dubbed, but it was still a fun movie experience. This is one of the Castle’s movies which actually has the gimmick built into the movie itself; a 45 second fright break near the climax of the movie. The gimmick seems fairly lame, but it’s really a lot of fun to read about the full set-up, where people who took advantage of the fright break to get their money back had to sign a yellow card that said “I am a bona fide coward,” plus having to go to the yellow-lit coward’s corner, where a speaker would proclaim that they were too chicken to see the end of the movie. My wife would love to have one of the yellow cards!

THE HUMAN MONSTER (1939)
(a.k.a. DARK EYES OF LONDON)
Article #223 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 10-25-2001
Posting date: 3-10-2002

Investigators look into an insurance racket where people holding policies are found drowned in the Thames. It is somehow tied to a mysterious home for the blind.

This is quite an interesting mystery-thriller with strong horror overtones. Bela Lugosi doesn’t really play a dual role, but there are two characters who are one and the same; the only reason the movie gets away with it is that one of the characters is using a voice dubbed in by someone other than Lugosi; this was probably necessary in order to fool the audience, because whatever talents he had, Lugosi was not a master of different voices, and the voice he does have is instantly recognizable. I was indeed startled by the revelation. Otherwise, the most memorable face in the movie is that of Wilfred Walters, the big blind murderer who is the “monster” of this horror film. This was based on an Edgar Wallace novel that would be remade in the sixties as DEAD EYES OF LONDON.