HOUSE OF THE DAMNED (1963)
Article #1410 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-23-2005
Posting Date: 6-22-2005
Directed by Maury Dexter
Featuring Ron Foster, Merry Anders, Richard Crane

An architect is sent out to survey a deserted castle. When he arrives there with his wife, strange things begin to happen.

This movie is a low-budget cross between HOUSE ON HAUNTED HILL and … another movie whose title I won’t mention here, because it gives away the ending. Let’s just say that the other movie is very well known and has an enormous amount of novelty value, and that the novelty value of this movie is of the same order. It’s directed by Maury Dexter, who was also responsible for THE DAY MARS INVADED EARTH, and like that movie, I’m much more impressed with his ability to find great locations for movies (the castle is quite interesting) than his ability to make them lively or interesting. So what we get here are a few tepid scare scenes, lots of conversation, attempts at character development and conflicts that would have been welcome had they really led us anywhere, and an ending which manages to be both the most interesting and the most disappointing part of the movie. It had the potential to be a much better movie, but, as it is, it’s on the dull side and seems long at its 62 minute length.

HOUSE OF DARKNESS (1948)
Article #1358 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-2-2004
Posting Date: 5-1-2004
Directed by Oswald Mitchell
Featuring Laurence Harvey, Lesley Osmond, Grace Arnold

A composer recounts the story of the haunted house that inspired his latest composition.

What we have here is your basic ghost story, and it’s one that has a number of overly familiar situations at that. Certainly, I’ve seen the storyline about an old man (with a heart condition) threatening to disinherit the younger man (who knows he has a heart condition) several times before, and the story as a whole doesn’t have a whole lot in the way of surprises. Yet somehow it works, and it may well be due to Laurence Harvey’s performance. This surprised me, because in some ways I don’t really like his performance here; he seemed too sneeringly slimy to be taken seriously. Yet, somehow, as the movie continues towards its final climactic scene, his performance ends up so in sync with the movie’s mood that the final sequence in the main storyline is extremely effective. Of course, the scene is also helped by the effective use of music, and the musical motif serves as the framing story. I recommend this one to ghost story enthusiasts who aren’t put off by Harvey’s performance in the first half of the movie.

HOLD THAT LINE (1952)
Article #1357 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-1-2004
Posting Date: 4-30-2004
Directed by William Beaudine
Featuring Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, John Bromfield

When Sach develops a formula that makes him incredibly strong, he becomes a football star at an ivy league college.

Most Bowery Boys movies are fairly plotless affairs, and it took this movie to help me realize that I liked it that way. Not that plotlessness is the best thing for them necessarily. It’s just that I figured that any plots that they might concoct wouldn’t be worth following. Now this movie is pretty much your typical Bowery Boys movie for the first two-thirds of the way, but once I heard the conversation between two thugs where they discuss how much gambling money they could rake in if the college loses the big game, I knew exactly where the movie would be going for the rest of the running time, and sure enough, I was right. Still, it does have its moments; including a scene where Leo Gorcey spouts mile-a-minute gibberish in an English class, and another where we meet the Bowery “girls”. And I must admit that the final big play of the football game was far more clever than I expected. All in all, another festival of malaprops and mugging.

HER JUNGLE LOVE (1938)
Article #1356 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-30-2004
Posting Date: 4-29-2004
Directed by George Archainbaud
Featuring Dorothy Lamour, Ray Milland, Lynne Overman

Two pilots get stranded on a desert island in the south seas. There they meet a beautiful woman and a monkey, and have to tangle with natives on a nearby island who like sacrificing white men.

For the second day in a row I find myself watching a color movie with musical numbers interspersed by human sacrifices. Now, I’ll admit it’s no novelty that HELP! was in color, but this one was made before color was de rigeur, so I’ll hazard some guesses as to why they chose to shoot this one in color.

– Those beautiful blue skies.

– Dorothy Lamour’s sarong and red lipstick.

– The lush south sea island scenery.

– J. Carrol Naish’s cool headdress when he sacrifices white men to the crocodile of the grotto.

– J. Carrol Naish’s red coat when he greets newcomers.

– The colorful pageantry of the skirts of the natives.

I certainly don’t think that the lame script or the tired comic relief of Lynne Overman were big selling points, even if the makers of the movie did include a chimpanzee to help with the latter. Nonetheless, it does build to a big climax involving a volcanic explosion and a whole mess of crocodiles that gives the movie its horror element and makes the rest of the silliness worth wading through.

HELP! (1965)
Article #1355 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-29-2004
Posting Date: 4-28-2004
Directed by Richard Lester
Featuring The Beatles, Leo McKern, Eleanor Bron

The head of a sacrificial cult tries to recover a sacred ring that has found its way onto Ringo’s finger.

Fantastic content: A bit of horror with the sacrificial cult plot, and some science fiction with a variety of strange inventions and a scene where Paul McCartney shrinks to a tiny size.

I won’t argue that Richard Lester has earned a place in cinema history; he was one of the pioneers of the swinging sixties cinema style, and his handling of the musical numbers here makes him one of the forerunners of the music video. Nor do I have any problem with the music; I’ve always loved the work of the Beatles, and this movie has a number of favorites (particularly the title song, “Ticket to Ride” and “You’ve Got to Hide Your Love Away”). Nonetheless, I come out of this one with a certain sense of disappointment because it doesn’t quite succeed as a comedy. Not that it’s disastrously unfunny; it’s mildly amusing throughout. I just think that it was trying to be a lot more than “mildly amusing”; I think it was trying to be an anarchically wild knee-slapper, like what you would expect with Monty Python or the Marx Brothers. And despite the fact that they have a great deal of charm, the Beatles aren’t the Marx Brothers; they were primarily musicians, not comedians. As a result, I feel the movie strains for big laughs at times, and they don’t come. Still, some of the ideas are funny enough; in particular, I like the fact that the cult can’t kill Ringo until they paint him red, so all their plots to do him in must also involve a way of covering him with red paint.

On a side point, I recall having read somewhere that John Lennon hated this movie, though my memory may be playing tricks on me. If he did, I think it shows in his performance; there are moments here where I sense a nasty edge to some of his comments. At any rate, the Beatles’ next movie (MAGICAL MYSTERY TOUR) would be their own production.

THE HALFWAY HOUSE (1944)
Article #1354 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-28-2004
Posting Date: 4-27-2004
Directed by Basil Dearden
Featuring Mervyn Johns, Glynis Johns, Sally Ann Howes

Assorted travelers find themselves meeting at a halfway house that was believed to have burned down a year ago but seems to have been mysteriously rebuilt.

From the basic setup of the story, my first impulse was to suspect that I was watching a British variant on the “Outward Bound” story; in other words, that everyone at the inn was already dead and awaiting judgment. Though this does not prove to be the case, its similarities are fairly strong. I can’t give away the true nature of the situation without engaging in spoilers, but I will point out that the primary difference between the two stories is that in “Outward Bound”, the people have come to the end of their lives, whereas in this one, the guests at the inn are all at a crossroads in their life where the decisions they make can turn the tides of their ultimate fates. Much of it is relevant to the war; we have one couple who is being torn apart by the death of their son in the war, a man who is becoming rich by dealing with black market war materials and an Irishman who is planning to become a consul to Germany (Ireland was neutral during the war) against the wishes of his lover. There are also other characters; a couple is planning to divorce against the wishes of their daughter, a man recently released from prison (for a crime of which he was innocent) is toying with actually turning to crime, and an orchestral conductor is trying to come to terms with a terminal illness. The movie is a little slow out of the gate; it’s a good twenty-five minutes into the movie before we reach the inn, and that’s too long. It’s also a bit dry at times, and manages to be both more complex than ‘Outward Bound’ (the characters being in transitional states of their lives) and more simplistic (let’s just say that certain problems work themselves out too conveniently). Still, the ending is strong, the acting is solid, and it makes the best use of the 23rd psalm that I’ve ever seen in a movie.

THE HEADLESS EYES (1971)
Article #1265 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-31-2004
Posting Date: 1-28-2005
Directed by Kent Bateman
Featuring Bo Brundin, Gordon Ramon, Kelley Swartz

An artist has an eye gouged out while trying to rob a girlfriend. He becomes an insane murderer who kills and gouges the eyes out of his victim’s heads.

Here are ten reasons not to bother with this movie.

1) The artists shrill, pained howl “My EYE!” gets repeated on the soundtrack about three hundred times during the length of the movie. (Yes, that is an exaggeration, but not by much.) Another thing I noticed is that….

2) …the mad artist keeps attacking the cameraman. Actually, I never saw this, but it’s the best explanation I can think of for the constant shakiness of the photography. Still, the shaky photography goes hand in hand with…

3) ..the sound, which is so bad that it’s hard to hear….

4) …the artist’s pretentious internal monologues, which together with the….

5) …arty attempts at surreal psychological sequences combined with the…

6)…annoying soundtrack which sounds like the instrumental sections of really bad psychedelic songs. This soundtrack drones on and on and on and on and on except in scenes where….

7)…the movie pretends it has a plot. We meet the artist’s girlfriend who wants to help him. We also meet a student artist who wants to learn from him. These scenes set up potential story arcs and then never pursues them. The reason for this is….

8)… that the movie is really about nothing but a psycho going around killing people. That’s it. Oh, they touch a little bit upon the policemen trying to track him down, but….

9)…the police haven’t a clue as to who it is or how to catch him, despite the fact that after he kills someone, he chatters constantly and loudly for all to hear while prying out their eyes. Oh, there’s one cop who’s clever enough to set a trap for him, but…

10) … this cop is stupid enough to try to take him alone in an isolated place and gives the artist ample opportunity to make a surprise attack on him.

In short, this one is pointless, pretentious, annoying, and no fun at all. Don’t bother.

HELLO DOWN THERE (1969)
Article #1222 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-19-2004
Posting Date: 12-16-2004
Directed by Jack Arnold and Ricou Browning
Featuring Tony Randall, Jim Backus, Janet Leigh

A man who designs an underwater house tries to prove its effectiveness to his employer by having his family live there for thirty days.

Fans of science fiction movies from the fifties should recognize the names of Ivan Tors (who produced GOG, THE MAGNETIC MONSTER and RIDERS TO THE STARS) and Jack Arnold (who directed CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON, IT CAME FROM OUTER SPACE, and THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MAN). Here they combine forces for another science fiction movie, and the viewer can’t be blamed for hoping for something more than this lame little comedy. There are definite pleasures here; the underwater scenes are fun to watch (courtesy of co-director Ricou Browning), the animals are entertaining, the visions of a hurricane as seen from underwater are fascinating, and (for me, the biggest surprise) the songs are actually not too bad; sure, the cutesy underwater lyrics are dumb, but they’re catchy enough in a pop/bubblegum way. It’s the comedy that falls flat, despite an impressive cast that includes Tony Randall, Jim Backus, Janet Leigh, Roddy McDowall, Ken Barry, a young Richard Dreyfuss and (in cameos) Arnold Stang, Harvey Lembeck and Merv Griffin. So unless you consider the sight of Ken Berry being kissed by a seal to be the height of hilarity, there’s very little that is really amusing here. And for anyone hoping that the subplot about the Navy’s sonar being jammed by rock music will develop into anything significant, I’ll warn you now is that all it does is lead to a unmemorable end to the movie. Incidentally, Richard Dreyfuss would encounter sharks once again six years later in JAWS.

THE HOUSE IN THE WOODS (1959)
Article #1196 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-23-2004
Posting Date: 11-20-2004
Directed by Maxwell Munden
Featuring Ronald Howard, Patricia Roc, Michael Gough

A couple wishing to get away from the noise of the city move into a remote cottage which they share with an artist who has recently lost his wife. They begin to suspect that the wife may have been murdered.

Michael Gough, Patricia Roc and Ronald Howard all give fine performances in this movie, and the story itself is quite interesting. However, I found the direction listless and dull, and the pacing less than exciting; it seemingly takes forever before we reach the point where the suspense kicks in, and then the movie finishes up so quickly that I felt rather cheated. Of course, I do feel it necessary to point out that I didn’t watch the movie under the best of conditions; I was suffering from a bad cold, and was a bit tired and sleepy going into it, and there’s a strong chance this may have colored my impressions. It may play much better if viewed in an alert and patient mood. As far as its fantastic content, there’s some slight horror touches to the proceedings, but not enough to make it more than marginally interesting from a genre perspective.

HUSH…HUSH, SWEET CHARLOTTE (1964)
Article #1190 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-17-2004
Posting Date: 11-14-2004
Directed by Robert Aldrich
Featuring Bette Davis, Olivia de Havilland, Joseph Cotten

Decades after a brutal axe murder was committed, the woman commonly believed to be guilty of the murder (the case was never solved) calls in her cousin to help prevent the demolition of the southern manor of her father. She then starts to have horrific visions tied to the old murder.

I’m tempted to describe this movie as overlong, since it runs two hours and thirteen minutes. However, I have to admit that it holds my attention throughout. The story itself is quite complex; and there are many questions to ask along the way; who killed John Mayhew? Is Charlotte actually going crazy, or is someone trying to drive her insane, and if so, who? Who sends the nasty letters to Charlotte? This follow-up to WHATEVER HAPPENED TO BABY JANE? was supposed to reunite Bette Davis and Joan Crawford, but Crawford ended up being replaced by Olivia de Havilland, much to Davis’ delight at not having to work with her old rival. Davis does a fine job in a role that is somewhat similar to her role in BABY JANE, but the similarities are really only on the surface. De Havilland also does fine work, as do Joseph Cotten, Victor Buono, Cecil Kellaway, Mary Astor, Bruce Dern and William Campbell. However, they’re all upstaged by the hilarious and truly memorable performance given by Agnes Moorehead; as Charlotte’s sassy, sarcastic maid, she steals every scene she’s in with an almost wicked glee. The opening murder, by the way, may be one of the most graphic depicted in a major Hollywood movie up to that point.