THE GIRL FROM STARSHIP VENUS (1975)
aka THE SEXPLORER
Article 2078 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-23-2006
Posting Date: 4-21-2007
Directed by Derek Ford
Featuring Monika Ringwald, Mark Jones, Andrew Grant

An alien takes the form of a beautiful Earthling to investigate the customs and mores of the inhabitants of Earth.

Adventures in Movie Watching: For those of you paying attention, you’ll notice that the Viewing Date has skipped a day. There’s a reason for this. There’s a a movie from the mid-seventies which has been on my hunt list that I’ve been trying to acquire. I thought I had it and watched it yesterday, but it turns out out the movie I watched was not the movie I was hunting for. As it turns out, the movie I was looking for was a remake of a hardcore adult film of the same name made a couple of years earlier, and it was that film I viewed instead. It was only when I sat down to write my review and found that the movie didn’t match the IMDB entry that I realized what had happened.

Now, usually when this sort of thing happens, I just sit down and watch another movie and write my review of that one. However, since the movie I did see does qualify for my series (IMDB classifies it as Horror, and that is a source I will eventually use for my series), and because I didn’t want to have to watch the movie again when it does enter my hunt list (once was enough for this one, I say), I wrote a review of it and marked it as done. I won’t post it until it officially enters my hunt list.

I wouldn’t bother telling the above story except that my reaction to today’s movie hinges somewhat on my reaction of yesterday’s movie. Suffice it to say that yesterday’s movie was one of the most repugnant viewing experiences I’ve ever endured, and practically anything I watched afterwards would have been a relief. That’s why I actually kind of enjoyed this dumb British sex comedy; whereas in other circumstances I might have railed at its stupidity, in this case I found myself attracted to its shear innocuousness. Most of the humor is sexual in nature, and there is plenty of nudity on hand, but the humor is of a type that I generally find quite amusing; to wit, most of it is centered around the space aliens trying to make sense out of earth customs and coming up with seemingly logical but ludicrous explanations for the phenomena they see. As a result, I enjoyed it more than I expected I would. For me, this just demonstrates once again that your reaction to a movie may often be dependent on your reaction to what you’ve seen previously.

Still, I’ve spent the last three days watching three seriously oversexed movies. I’m really ready to move on.

THE GOLDEN BEETLE (1907)
aka LE SCARABEE D’OR
Article 2061 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-5-2006
Posting Date: 4-4-2007
Directed by Segundo de Chomon
Cast Unknown

A magician finds a golden beetle and casts it into a cauldron. It turns into a winged woman who creates a spectacular fountain, and then has the magician cast into a cauldron.

If you get a chance to see this silent short, try to find the hand-tinted version; it is colored exquisitely, especially during the fountain sequence. Plotwise it’s pretty much the same sort of thing that Melies does, but if it lacks the wit of Melies, it does have a nice sense of poetry that Melies never attained. I suspect that this was one of the reasons that Melies eventually fell into disfavor; he was a cinema trickster rather than a full-blown movie director, and he failed to grow as new techniques for story-telling developed. This short gives just a hint of some of the directions he could have gone with his work.

GHIDRAH, THE THREE-HEADED MONSTER (1964)
Article 2033 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-8-2006
Posting Date: 3-7-2007
Directed by Ishiro Honda
Featuring Yosuke Natsuki, Yuriko Hoshi, Hiroshi Koizumi

When a giant three-headed monster wreaks havoc across the Earth, Mothra tries to convince Godzilla and Rodan to join forces to defeat the menace.

This movie marks a turning point in the Godzilla series. Not only does it introduce the title monster, Ghidrah (probably Toho’s greatest creation since Godzilla himself), but it also marks Godzilla’s change from a menace to a hero (albeit reluctantly). It takes quite a while for the monster action to start, but the first half of the movie remains fun nonetheless because of the innumerable plot elements that get woven together, including visitors from Mars, an attempted political assassination of a princess, the investigation of a strange meteorite, and a doom-speaking prophetess. It’s difficult to say how serious to take the movie, because much of the humor may be from the dubbing. At any rate, despite the fact that he doesn’t reform until the end of the movie, Godzilla doesn’t really come across as much of a threat; Rodan certainly seems to be getting the better of him in their one-on-one fight. The funniest sequences involve the monsters, including a scene where Rodan and Godzilla bat a rock back and forth while Mothra watches as if it’s a tennis match, and the scene where the fairies translate the monster’s conference; apparently, Godzilla can cuss up a blue streak. It may be silly at times, but it’s one of the most entertaining movies of the Godzilla series.

THE GHOSTS OF BERKELEY SQUARE (1947)
Article 2027 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-2-2006
Posting Date: 3-1-2007
Directed by Vernon Sewell
Featuring Robert Morley, Felix Aylmer, Yvonne Arnaud

Two military men die while testing a trap in their house, and are condemned to haunt the place until reigning royalty comes to visit.

This is a fairly entertaining ghost comedy, with solid performances throughout, especially from our two leads, Robert Morley and Felix Aylmer, who constantly try to manipulate the current residents of the house to bring in royalty, which will release them from their curse. It’s fun to see the various groups who come to inhabit the house; at one point it’s a brothel, at another point it’s a medical hospital, and at one time or another a circus moves in as well as the Nawab of Bagwash (who apparently doesn’t count as royalty). Naturally, the schemes to bring in royalty backfire, often through the ghosts’ own actions. The cast also features Ernest Thesiger as a member of a psychical research society whose investigation of the haunted house could bring the much wanted visit. Director Vernon Sewell was also responsible for several other fantastically-themed movies, including LATIN QUARTER, THE BLOOD BEAST TERROR, CURSE OF THE CRIMSON ALTAR, and THE HORRORS OF BURKE AND HARE.

GOLDEN HANDS OF KURIGAL (1966)
Feature Version of Serial FEDERAL AGENTS VS. UNDERWORLD INC.
Article 1987 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-23-2006
Posting Date: 1-20-2007
Directed by Fred C. Brannon
Featuring Kirk Alyn, Rosemary La Planche, Carol Forman

When an ancient relic is unearthed in the country of Abistahn, an evil woman plans to use the item to build an underworld organization. However, Federal Agent David Worth is out to stop her.

I didn’t care much for this serial when it was a serial, and I still have little use for it in this form. It did make me realize something, though, and that is if there is any particular cinematic form that I honestly wish had given in to over-the-top hammy acting styles, the serial would be the one I’d choose. At least one of the reasons THE LOST CITY remains a favorite is that it does engage in that hammy melodramatic mode. I feel that serials all too often went in the opposite direction; when it comes to the acting, I find most of them extremely bland and colorless. It really doesn’t matter when other aspects are done with verve and pizzazz; one of Republic’s warehouse-busting fight scenes can add a lot to the fun. But those had vanished by the time this one was made, and almost every actor here seems bored; even Ray Barcroft, who I usually like but is here consigned to a henchman role, performs the part by adding little more than a dour grumpiness to the proceedings. The only actor who seems really interested in the proceedings is James Craven, who, as Professor Clayton, appears only at the beginning and the end of the story. I suppose action fans don’t mind as long as there’s action, but for me, the action isn’t really all that interesting unless the characters and situations make it interesting, or if the action scenes are particularly well staged; if they’re not, I find them potentially as dull as scenes of people having long conversations while standing stock still. And as far as feature versions of serials go, this one is as clumsy and abrupt as the worst of them.

GRAVEYARD OF HORROR (1971)
aka NECROPHAGUS
Article 1975 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-11-2006
Posting Date: 1-8-2007
Directed by Miguel Madrid
Featuring Bill Curran, Catherine Ellison, Frank Brana

A man returns home to his wife only to discover that she died in childbirth. However, he finds that everyone who knows the circumstances of her death is unwilling to give him any details. He decides to dig up her grave and find out the truth for himself, but he isn’t prepared for what he actually discovers…

You know, there’s something downright audacious about this Spanish horror movie; its fractured narrative, its jumping back and forth across time, and its offbeat camerawork and imagery make it a truly surreal viewing experience. Granted, it plays havoc with the storyline; at heart, the story is pretty straightforward when you get down to it, but the style makes sorting it out and keeping the characters straight a real chore. There are great moments (an image of man blowing cigarette smoke into a skull so that it comes floating out of the eye sockets will stick with me a long time) and awful moments (the scene where one of the daughters tries to lure a man into a sexual encounter with the line “I’m going to take a bath in perfume!” is the dumbest), and the monster attack scenes are surprisingly repetitive. The movie also doesn’t know how to curb its excesses; an hour in, there’s a five-minute montage of clips of moments you’ve already seen in the movie thrown at you which is nothing but an exercise of self-indulgence. The ratings distribution on IMDB isn’t really surprising; it has its admirers, but is soundly hated by a lot of people. I’d call it an interesting failure, and like most interesting failures, it is worth watching for what does work.

GAMMERA THE INVINCIBLE (1966)
Article 1963 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-30-2006
Posting Date: 12-27-2006
Directed by Sandy Howard and Noriaki Yuasa
Featuring Albert Dekker, Brian Donlevy, Diane Findlay

An atomic bomb in a Russian airplane goes off when it is downed, and the explosion releases a giant turtle (known as Gammera) from his icy tomb.

Long-time followers of this series may be asking why I’m covering this movie again; after all, my review of GAMERA was done more than four years ago. The reason is that sometimes it can be a little difficult to say how much a movie has changed before it can be called a different movie. The movie I covered several years ago, GAMERA, was the Sandy Frank dub of the original Japanese movie. When the movie first came to the states, it had lots of new American footage edited in; this is the version I am now covering. As far as the question whether it is the same movie or two different movies goes, I let IMDB make the call for me, and they do indeed list the two versions as separate entities.

So how does this version compare with the Sandy Frank version? It’s the better of the two. The dubbing is better, for one thing, though it’s still far from good. The dubbed script is also better written; it does a better job of setting up plot points. The new American footage is, however, quite bad. Some of the acting is way over the top; in particular, a scene involving two scientists on a talk show (which looks like it was shot in a broom closet) having a loud, obnoxious argument about the existence of Gammera is unbelievable. One of the other segments features an actor giving the worst oriental accent I’ve ever heard. However, the saddest sequences involve Brian Donlevy. He was a heavy drinker, and I suspect that he was far from sober when he shot his scenes for this, as he seems just barely able to deliver his lines.

Overall, though the quality is slightly better than the Sandy Frank version, I still find this to be a fairly dull kaiju. Part of the reason is that this movie tries to have it both ways; Gammera is supposed to be both terrifying and sympathetic, but the movie just comes off as muddled. He’d fare a little better in the sequels, and much better in his revival during the late nineties.

THE GOLDEN MISTRESS (1954)
Article 1942 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-9-2006
Posting Date: 12-6-2006
Directed by Abner Biberman
Featuring John Agar, Rosemarie Stack, Jacques Molant

When a man makes off with an idol used in a voodoo ceremony, he tries to contact a treasure hunter to let him know of the discovery. When the man dies of a voodoo curse, the treasure hunter embarks on a journey with the daughter of the dead man to locate a missing tribe known as “The Untamed”.

This movie starts out as an exercise in voodoo horror, but shifts its focus about a third of the way in to become an adventure story. I was a bit surprised to see it with a lowly 4.0 rating on IMDB; I quite enjoyed it myself. The cast is quite likable, the color location footage (it was shot in the Caribbean) is quite beautiful, and the native dances are some of the best I’ve seen. It is, with its black tribes performing primitive ceremonies, politically incorrect nowadays, which probably accounts to some extent for its poor reputation. The director plays the role of the man who originally steals the idol, and Rosemarie Stack (who was known as Rosemarie Bowe at the time this was made) would later marry actor Robert Stack; given her beauty, I’m a bit surprised she didn’t have a much bigger career as an actress that she did.

THE GREAT GAMBINI (1937)
Article 1938 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-5-2006
Posting Date: 12-2-2006
Directed by Charles Vidor
Featuring Akim Tamiroff, Marian Marsh, John Trent

When a wealthy man is found murdered in his apartment, the police gather together suspects in the case, including his fiance, his fiance’s father and stepmother, a jealous rival, the butler, and a mind reader known as Gambini.

This was, for my money, one of the more entertaining mysteries from the thirties. The story itself is fairly ordinary, but the story is told with an unusual degree of clarity; it’s one of those mysteries where I can actually tell the suspects apart from each other. It’s also helped by the presence of a great collection of character actors to flesh out the proceedings, including Genevieve Tobin (doing her best impression of Billie Burke), William Demarest and Edward Brophy (as the police). The movie is really stolen by Akim Tamiroff in the title role; his antics as the smarter-than-the-police psychic adds an enormous amount of fun to the proceedings. The fantastic content is, of course, the mind-reading act, which, as is usually the case in mysteries of this sort, has its fantastic qualities short-circuited by later revelations, but the revelations are good ones here. Furthermore, the movie even has a bit of William Castle-style gimmickry, as the movie halts at the fifty-minute mark to allow the viewer to guess the identity of the murderer during the minute the clock ticks away. This one was lots of fun.

THE GREEN HORNET (1940)
Serial
Article 1912 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-9-2006
Posting Date: 11-6-2006
Directed by Ford Beebe and Ray Taylor
Featuring Gordon Jones, Wade Boteler, Anne Nagel

A newspaper publisher takes on the persona of The Green Hornet, a person who seems to be a criminal but is really intent on uncovering a crime syndicate.

You know, this isn’t a bad serial, and I recall rather liking the sequel, THE GREEN HORNET STRIKES AGAIN. However, as a follow-up serial to the superior JUNGLE GIRL , I’m afraid I can only notice how ordinary it is. Outside of the hero, the most memorable characters are his Korean servant and his bodyguard, a feisty Irishman. Pretty much everyone else is pretty forgettable, including the villain, who is one of those types that keeps out of action until the last episode, and mostly barks out orders to anonymous henchmen from behind a desk. The plot is also pretty repetitive; The Green Hornet investigates a specific racket, gets in peril, escapes, threatens a crook to try to get him to reveal the leader, and the crook either gets away, knows nothing, or dies, and The Green Hornet moves on to the next racket. The science fiction elements are the same as the later serial; the Hornet’s special gun and the really fast buzzing car. I’ve also noticed that Columbia is less likely to rely on cheating cliffhangers as much as Republic; unfortunately, Columbia relies on something even less interesting, the incredibly resilient hero who just luckily happens to survive every cliffhanger. I do have one piece of advice for The Green Hornet, though; since a few of the cliffhangers have to do with him almost being killed by his own bodyguard, I think it would behoove him to tell the bodyguard about his secret identity. Just a thought…