DRACULA: THE DIRTY OLD MAN (1969)
Article #635 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-10-2002
Posting Date: 5-5-2003

Dracula takes control of a man and causes him to turn into a werewolf (named Irving Jackalman) to kidnap nubile young women for his pleasure.

I wish I could say a simple perusal of the title of this particular movie would tell you everything about what to expect, but after subjecting myself to this movie, I’m afraid the title doesn’t begin to do it “justice”. Yes, it’s a comedy, and it’s a skinflick; that much you’d be able to figure out. But it looks for all the world as if the movie was originally shot to be taken more or less seriously, and then had a new soundtrack slapped onto it by two ad-libbing Jewish comedians while a light jazz combo plays in the background. Surprisingly, it actually got a couple laughs out of me; once, at the very beginning where a narrator waxes on endlessly about ‘the blue mountain behind the blue mountain behind the blue mountain” (among other things) that is an incoherent parody of “I remember how it all started…” narrative openings of movies, and a later sequence in which the narrator insists on telling you exactly what his character is doing at the moment he’s doing it (“I got out of the car, closed the door,” etc.). It goes downhill from there, as it begins to emphasize the unconvincing gore and the sex scenes, though it still does pull off the occasional gag. Still, the primary question I’m left with after watching this thing is this; which is worse, the fake bat or the werewolf costume? Make sure you send the kiddies to bed before dropping this one into your DVD player.

LES DEMONIAQUES (1973)
(a.k.a. THE DEMONIACS)
Article #605 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 11-10-2002
Posting date: 4-6-2003

Thieves who specialize in wrecking and looting ships assault two women, who then make a pact with the devil to seek revenge.

From Ingmar Bergman to Herschell Gordon Lewis to Jean Rollin makes for a rollercoaster ride of movies for the last three days. The last time I dealt with Rollin, three adjectives came up repeatedly; arty, erotic and gory. However, I find this one more palatable than THE RAPE OF THE VAMPIRE; though some of the plot elements have a nastier edge to them (there is a lot of rape here, moreso than the other movie), at least the impulse to artiness doesn’t run away with him this time so that all narrative is thrown to the four winds; you can more or less follow the story. It’s still very bizarre at times; just how having a woman dress up in red tights and clown make-up is supposed to keep people out of the ruins in this story is something that does leave me scratching my head, despite the fact that I do agree with the theory that clowns are scary. Nonetheless, telling a story is secondary to Rollin; his main goal is to get the women unclothed as often as possible, and there is no doubt that he accomplishes this particular feat. I’m just glad that he has nice feel for surreal visuals to make up for what would otherwise be a long stretch of arty sleaze.

THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE (1959)
(a.k.a. SAMPO)
Article #578 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 10-14-2002
Posting date: 3-9-2003

An evil witch kidnaps the sister of a blacksmith to force him to forge for her a magical mill called a Sampo.

When this Russian adaptation of a Finnish fairy tale was brought to the United States, it was retitled THE DAY THE EARTH FROZE and marketed as a straight horror movie. I can see the logic behind this; they were probably correct in assuming that it would probably make more money being marketed that way, as I think the audience for the movie as it stands was probably very small. Certainly, it is a very un-Hollywood type of movie; rather than the prettiness that we would expect from Hollywood, we have instead a rather rough-hewn and somewhat rugged beauty. It would also have been considered rather slow-moving by today’s standards, but it does possess a goodly amount of magic for those willing to allow the movie to work its charms. It helps to realize that it takes place in a very different time than ours; the Sampo is a mill that produces gold, flour and salt, and if one puts oneself in a time where flour and salt were just as valuable as gold, it helps. The unfortunate thing is, of course, that many of those who might have been attracted to the movie were kept away by its ad campaign, and those expecting a horror movie were disappointed. Go in knowing that it’s a fairy-tale, and you’ll enjoy it much more.

DICK TRACY (1937)
Article #551 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 9-17-2002
Posting date: 2-10-2003

Dick Tracy goes up against a supervillain known as The Lame One and his Spider Gang. What he doesn’t know is that his own brother has been turned evil by an operation and is now part of the gang.

I mostly remember Dick Tracy from the daily comic strips in the paper; this was primarily during the sixties and seventies, so I have no idea what the strip was like in the thirties when this was made. I do know that this serial is lacking some of the science fiction gadgetry that was a Dick Tracy hallmark; no two way wristwatches are to be found. Instead, we have a fairly conventional G-Man adventure, though I will say that the villains are a fun and memorable bunch. This is the first serial that I’ve seen from Republic at this point (as far as I know), and I’ve heard that they were responsible for the best serials; certainly, this one looks like a lot more real care and effort was put into it than I usually find in serials. So I’ll just settle back and say that I quite enjoyed this one, even if it does have a few cheating cliffhangers. And though it was quite impossible for them to find someone who really resembles Dick Tracy (let’s face it; that jaw does not occur in nature), I will have to say that Ralph Byrd’s jaw is about as close as you can get to it without looking completely unnatural.

DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT (1973)
Article #535 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 9-2-2002
Posting date: 1-25-2003

A nurse begins work at a sanitarium where the doctor has just been killed by one of the patients. She begins to discover that things are not as they seem at this place.

This low-budget horror film from the seventies borrowed the ad campaign from THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT with its “It’s only a movie” tagline, and it belongs to some extent to that trend of horror movies at that time to put the unpleasantness factor to such a degree that they become hard to watch. These movies aren’t necessarily worthless, but they aren’t exactly what I would call “fun.” This one has a hard-to-swallow premise (that the psychiatric method in use allows the near-homicidal patients to have free reign of the asylum and access to all areas), especially when one of the inmates specializes in terrorizing the other patients by tormenting them at their weak points. The extreme nastiness of the ending also feels somewhat unnecessary, and the whole premise lends itself to a lot of people shrieking lines at the top of their lungs, which, though it can be effective in getting under your skin, always feels to me to be taking the easy way out. Nonetheless, the characters are quite interesting, and the acting from the cast of unknowns is excellent for such a low-budget movie, and there are enough moments sprinkled throughout the movie that show a sense of real sadness and a sense of humanity that give a greater texture to the proceedings. Ultimately, the strong points make the movie work, and I can appreciate it well enough, even if it does remain in that realm of movies that are simply not much fun for me.

DOCTOR OF DOOM (1962)
(a.k.a. LAS LUCHADORAS CONTRA EL MEDICO ASESINO)
Article #528 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 8-25-2002
Posting date: 1-18-2003

A wrestling woman teams up with another wrestling woman and two detectives to find the maniac who killed her sister, a mad doctor known as The Mad Doctor.

Here we have the mythic origins of the wrestling women, where we learn how Gloria Venus meets the Golden Rubi, and how they acquire their respective boyfriends, two detectives intent on protecting them but are more apt to need to be rescued themselves. The doctor has the aid of a human gorilla, a man with a gorilla’s brain in his skull. Does it sound silly? Well, it is a Mexican wrestling movie, so silliness kind of comes with the territory here. I’ve always felt that Mexican wrestling movies were essentially super hero movies, only with super powers replaced by wrestling prowess. They are, like superspy, sword-and-sandal and Elvis movies, essentially matters of taste; either you go for them or you don’t; personally, I find them irresistible, but I wouldn’t make a whole meal of them, if you know what I mean. I do think this one is more energetic and fun than their encounter with the Aztec Mummy, the only other of their movies that I’ve seen. And one thing that is important to remember with these movies; the wrestling scenes aren’t filler, they’re the reason the movie exists.

DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE (1932)
Article #526 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 8-23-2002
Posting date: 1-16-2003

No plot description; I’ve already written one for four other reviews of versions of the movie, and besides, everyone knows the basic story anyway.

When I first saw this version of the classic story, I’ll admit I was blown away, particularly by the savagery of Fredric March’s performance as Mr. Hyde; he is truly a scary, brutal creature. I also liked some of the visual tricks in the film, particularly the opening sequence where we see all the action from the point of view of Dr. Jekyll (including a nice little moment where he checks himself in a mirror). It is probably the best version of this classic tale (of the ones I’ve seen anyways). However, it is one of those that one watching was enough for me; though I do admire a lot of things about it, I just don’t actively enjoy rewatching it, and I get very little that is new from the experience. Part of it is probably the fact that there are so many versions of the story out there, and most of them are so similar in story construction and there is so little variation on the basic plot that the story has lost any sense of novelty for me. That being said, if you haven’t overdosed on the story, this might be the first one you would want to see.

And I’m also reminded that with the five versions I’ve already covered, I still have the Spencer Tracy version to look forward to in the future. After that, I’m hoping some of the later versions of this story offer some fresh takes on the story.

DIARY OF A MADMAN (1963)
Article #524 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 8-21-2002
Posting date: 1-14-2003

A magistrate finds that he is possessed by an otherworldly creature known as the Horla after he sentences a murderer to be executed.

Coming on the heels of having watched DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS, I found myself enjoying this movie more than I might have otherwise; after the mess of that movie, I really appreciated the straightforward clarity of this one. It has some definite problems; it moves a little slow at times, the direction by Reginal Le Borg is merely adaquate, and the script is a bit wordier than is necessary (the Horla would be a lot more effective if it didn’t chatter on so), but at least it wasn’t confusing, and I could see how each scene related to the story. I also liked Vincent Price’s performance; he’s pretty restrained here, but he’s still definitely enjoying his role (maybe because he’s playing an amateur artist as well as a magistrate), and he has that easy charm and style that makes him very watchable. Except for the violence (the murder is particularly nasty), the movie feels quite old-fashioned, almost like it could have been made twenty years earlier. Not a classic, but for me, it filled the bill at the time.

DEVIL GIRL FROM MARS (1954)
Article #523 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 8-20-2002
Postng date: 1-13-2003

A spaceship from Mars lands near an inn in Scotland, and a female Martian named Nyah holds the residents prisoner in preparation for an invasion. She is intent on capturing men for breeding purposes.

The above description seems to promise, if not necessarily a good movie, at least a certain amount of campy fun; however, the funniest thing about it is in the credits, where it is announced that the movie was based on a play. There’s something mind-blowing about being made aware that there is a play out there called “Devil Girl From Mars”; it also clues you in on just how talky and stagebound this epic will prove to be. I don’t know how good the play was, but the script for the movie is awful; the dialogue is trite, repetitive, and endless (I find myself wondering if someone dropped the script on the ground and picked the pages up in the wrong order before taking it to the printers; the scenes do seem scattered about at random), and the movie never establishes a decent pace, as it seems that every time a scene comes along that catches your interest, instead of keeping the pace going and building your interest further, it follows it with talky scenes that have little to do with the action just before it that bring the story to a screeching halt again and again. If the characters were compelling in any way, it might make a difference, but alas, they’re all as dull as dishwater; even Nyah is given nothing to do but recite rotten speechy dialogue endlessly. The flying saucer is the best thing about the movie; it looks great, and the robot is fun if a little clumsy. I’m sure some people will seek this out in the hope that it will be really bad; I wonder if they would if they knew just how dull it was.

DESTINATION MOON (1950)
Article #522 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing date: 8-19-2002
Posting date: 1-12-2003

A voyage to the moon is planned and then undertaken.

Perhaps more than any other movie, this George Pal production brought the genre of science fiction to the attention of the movie-going public, and though the genre would soon shift to more exploitable approaches (namely, rampaging monsters and invading space aliens), this is the one that kicked it all off. It may seem a little dull to audiences nowadays, but it actually holds up pretty well if you’re patient and willing to ride along with the measured pace of the story. Heinlein’s involvement is apparent in the proceedings; if the characters are fairly one-dimensional, its interest in the various groups that play a role in the proceedings (big business, the military and the government all have their hands in the mix) is something I recognize from some of his works, and it gives the movie the flavor of some of the literary science fiction of that time period, especially in its emphasis on scientific problem-solving. The movie may be a bit quaint anymore, but it still has an enormous charm, and it looks beautiful. And even if the comic relief character isn’t particularly funny, at least he avoids the mistake of straining for laughs, and never becomes insufferable.

And incidentally, even if the Woody Woodpecker sequence isn’t very funny, it’s nonetheless very evocative of that ephemeral cinematic world of industrial/training/educational films (anybody out there remember the Bell Science Lab film series?) that I consider a priceless addition to the movie.