Dracula: The Dirty Old Man (1969)

Article #635 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-10-2002
Posting Date: 5-5-2003

Dracula takes control of a man and causes him to turn into a werewolf (named Irving Jackalman) to kidnap nubile young women for his pleasure.

I wish I could say a simple perusal of the title of this particular movie would tell you everything about what to expect, but after subjecting myself to this movie, I’m afraid the title doesn’t begin to do it “justice”. Yes, it’s a comedy, and it’s a skinflick; that much you’d be able to figure out. But it looks for all the world as if the movie was originally shot to be taken more or less seriously, and then had a new soundtrack slapped onto it by two ad-libbing Jewish comedians while a light jazz combo plays in the background. Surprisingly, it actually got a couple laughs out of me; once, at the very beginning where a narrator waxes on endlessly about ‘the blue mountain behind the blue mountain behind the blue mountain” (among other things) that is an incoherent parody of “I remember how it all started…” narrative openings of movies, and a later sequence in which the narrator insists on telling you exactly what his character is doing at the moment he’s doing it (“I got out of the car, closed the door,” etc.). It goes downhill from there, as it begins to emphasize the unconvincing gore and the sex scenes, though it still does pull off the occasional gag. Still, the primary question I’m left with after watching this thing is this; which is worse, the fake bat or the werewolf costume? Make sure you send the kiddies to bed before dropping this one into your DVD player.

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