DEADLIER THAN THE MALE (1966)
Article #1499 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-22-2005
Posting Date: 9-19-2005
Directed by Ralph Thomas
Featuring Richard Johnson, Elke Sommer, Sylva Koscina

Insurance Investigator Hugh Drummond discovers an organization that hires itself out to corporations to facilitate business deals but uses assassination as its modus operandi.

This was the first of the two movies to revive the character of Bulldog Drummond and cast him in the James Bond mold. These movies are far and away my favorite of that genre; truth be told, I think I prefer them to the Bonds. Maybe its because they’re less stunt-oriented (I’m not a big fan of stunt cinema) and more story and humor oriented. In this one, the assassinations are committed by two beautiful women (Sommer and Koscina) who use time bombs, spear-guns and fatal variations on the exploding cigar gag. Fans of character actor Milton Reid will also find him here as a black belt instructor. The movie also features a great chess sequence, and my favorite use of kleptomania as a plot point to date. Sadly, this series never lasted very long.

DR. COPPELIUS (1966)
(a.k.a. DR.?? COPPELIUS!!! /
EL FANTASTICO MUNDO DEL DOCTOR COPPELIUS)
Article #1488 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-11-2005
Posting Date: 9-8-2005
Directed by Ted Kneeland
Featuring Walter Slezak, Claudia Corday, Caj Selling

Two potential lovers get embroiled in the life of Dr. Coppelius, a scientist / inventor who specializes in life-size mechanical dolls.

After two encounters with Opera so far, I suppose it was only a matter of time before I stumbled across a Ballet. Now, if you had asked me, I would have predicted that Ballet would have been an even more alien form to me than Opera; the thought of trying to follow a story expressed entirely in dance would have made me feel ill at ease. However, I found this to be much easier to follow than either THE MEDIUM or THE TALES OF HOFFMANN. I think the reason is that the burden of translation isn’t as great; instead of needing to sort out what is being sung (as I need to do in operas), all I really have to do is make good use of the visual cues that are supplied me here, and this movie is quite generous with them. The opening credits provide mini-biographies of each character so that you know the role they play in the story, and it does a fine job of clarifying certain subtleties, such as the fact that when Brigitta is dancing with a broom, she is actually engaged in an imaginary dance with the man she loves, Dr. Coppelius. I’m also amazed at the breadth of emotion that can be conveyed in dance. In particular, I was amazed at how well dance can be used to convey humor; there are many comic moments that work beautifully here. I never really thought of Walter Slezak as a dancer, and his dancing here is quite minimal. However, he came from a musical family; he was the son of a star of the Metropolitan Opera and himself went on to sing there as well. The fantastic aspects here are prominent; Dr. Coppelius is something of an alchemist, which puts him in a category somewhere between science fiction and fantasy, and his laboratory wouldn’t look out of place in a horror movie. All in all, I found this one fun and accessible, though I did need a little break now and then during the longer dance segments. And there’s one thing I do know; I like the music in ballets a lot more than I like the music in operas.

DUMBO (1941)
Article #1487 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-10-2005
Posting Date: 9-7-2005
Directed by Ben Sharpsteen
Featuring the voices of Herman Bing, Billy Bletcher, Edward Brophy

An elephant’s new-born son has huge ears, and when his mother is locked up after defending him from the jibes of onlookers, he becomes ostracized from the other elephants.

Disney lavished big budgets on his first three animated features, but when returns weren’t quite what he hoped they would be for PINOCCHIO or FANTASIA, he made this one rather cheaply. Still, I don’t think this one really suffers for its lower budget; there are scenes here that are as good as any to be found in a Disney feature, and I find two of them to be absolute classics (the scene where Dumbo visits his incarcerated mother, and the jaw-dropping “Pink Elephants on Parade” number). In fact, in terms of its individual scenes, I have no problem with the movie at all. Unfortunately, once the movie is over, I feel somehow let down. For a long time, I thought it was because the movie was geared to the discovery of Dumbo’s special gift rather than his use of it, and since I’d already known what that gift was (which I haven’t revealed here, for those who don’t know, though it does provide the greatest degree of fantastic content to the story) the movie lost its ability to surprise. However, I no longer feel that’s the problem. Instead, I think it has something to do with my dissatisfaction with the ending’s failure to resolve the emotional elements of the story. I’m really less interested in seeing Dumbo’s acts of harmless slapstick revenge on his detractors (the clowns, the ringmaster and the other elephants) than I would be in seeing these detractors won over by him, an incident you’re asked to take for granted in the final scene. In particular, I would love to have a happy reunion scene with Mrs. Jumbo and her son. It is the lack of this element that leaves me feeling disappointed, and keeps me from placing this one on the same level of Disney’s finest work.

DUCK SOUP (1933)
Article #1485 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-8-2005
Posting Date: 9-5-2005
Directed by Leo McCarey
Featuring The Marx Brothers, Margaret Dumont, Raquel Torres

Rich dowager Mrs. Gloria Teasdale will only give money to the Freedonian treasury if they make Rufus T. Firefly the leader of the country.

For the longest time I was afraid that my journey through the realms of fantastic cinema would have to bypass any of the movies of my favorite classic comedy team, the Marx Brothers except for their cameos in THE STORY OF MANKIND. After all, they never really ventured into the realm of the fantastic. This was because their shtick would have been out of place in the usual fantastic cinema setpieces; just try imagining the Marx Brothers in a haunted house comedy, and you’ll see what I mean. I can’t tell you how happy I am that one of their movies squeaked by; since this movie takes place in the mythical countries of Freedonia and Sylvania, it nudges just enough into fantasy territory to qualify. Furthermore, this is also one of their very best comedies; though it was a financial flop at the time of release, it was rediscovered during the sixties (when the counterculture embraced their anarchic humor and the satiric thrust of this movie) and now runs neck and neck with A NIGHT AT THE OPERA as their finest hour.

This is also one of their shortest movies; in order to keep the pace at a frenetic level, director Leo McCarey trimmed all the fat away. This means we get no scenes of Chico at the piano or Harpo at the harp. It also means that the plot is quite confusing at times; we get hints of missing scenes and previous encounters between characters all throughout the movie. Still, McCarey knew that the laughs are what mattered here, and once Groucho slides down the fire pole at the five-minute mark, the movie is a nonstop barrage of satirical barbs, insults, non-sequiters, bad puns, naughty jokes and slapstick. The satire itself may be unintentional, but that doesn’t make it any less biting. How else can one interpret the following verse from Groucho’s opening song –

“If any form of pleasure is exhibited,
Report to me and it will be prohibited.
I’ll put my foot down. So shall it be!
This is the land of the free!”

I could go on and on about this one, so let me just list my ten favorite moments.

1) Chicolini and Pinky making a shambles of Ambassodor Trentino and still managing to get a second chance as spies.

2) The classic mirror gag between Groucho and Harpo (who is dressed up like Groucho).

3) The repeated encounters between peanut vendors Harpo and Chico and lemonade vendor Edgar Kennedy.

4) Any scene involving Harpo and his scissors (giving Harpo a pair of scissors is one of the most brilliant comic ideas ever).

5) Groucho’s opening song in which he reveals his plans for the country.

6) Chico’s court martial scene with serial-villain-to-be Charles Middleton as prosecutor. Chico takes this opportunity to make some of the most outrageous puns in his career, my favorite of which involves the words ‘dollars’ and ‘taxes’.

7) Groucho inviting Chico and Harpo up to his office to give them jobs (“I want to scare the cabinet.”)

8) Any scene with Groucho courting Margaret Dumont.

9) Harpo trying desperately to turn off a radio that he has mistaken for a safe.

10) and finally, the whole “We’re Going to War” song, one of the most devastatingly bizarre and surreal musical numbers in the history of cinema. It’s one thing to see the four Marx Brothers performing bizarre dance steps to a big musical number, but it’s another to see a huge crowd of extras imitating these same steps. The end result feels like a Busby Berkeley number as conceived by Salvador Dali.

In short, I love this movie, and it’s one of my all-time favorite comedies. Even Zeppo is occasionally funny in this one. It would also be his last movie with his brothers.

DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE GIRL BOMBS (1966)
(a.k.a. SPIE VENGONO DAL SEMIFREDDO)
Article #1484 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-7-2005
Posting Date: 9-4-2005
Directed by Mario Bava
Featuring Vincent Price, Fabian, Franco and Ciccio

Dr. Goldfoot uses his girl bombs to hatch a plot to start a war between the U.S. and Russia.

You know, you’re within your rights to have pretty high expectations for a pairing of one of the greatest horror actors of all time (Vincent Price) and the master of Italian horror Mario Bava. Even if you knew advance that the collaboration would be a sequel to DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, you’d still have a right to expect that it would be better than that one. Instead, it almost looks like they both set out to make the worst movies of each of their respective careers. It’s a frantic, hectic comedy that is desperately and disastrously unfunny; I think I counted one half of one joke that worked. At least DGATBM had some sly references to other AIP productions to help it along; this one has nothing but an endless string of horrible gags. I don’t know much about the comedy team of Franco and Ciccio, and I haven’t seen any of their other movies, but here, they’re positively embarrassing. In fact, if the IMDB ratings are to be believed, it’s their worst movie as well. And though it’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, there is really nothing quite as painful as an aggressive comedy where every rapid-fire joke misses its target.

I don’t know if there’s a movie theater in hell, but if there is, you can rest assured that this is what’s playing.

DOCTOR FAUSTUS (1967)
Article #1483 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-6-2005
Posting Date: 9-3-2005
Directed by Richard Burton and Nevill Coghill
Featuring Richard Burton, Elizabeth Taylor, Andreas Teuber

Doctor Faustus sells his soul to the devil in hopes of reaping great benefits.

Richard Burton (“Great Actor”) performs in an adaptation of Christopher Marlowe’s “The Tragical History of Doctor Faustus” (“Classic Literature”) and the result is this movie (“Great Work of Art”). He is helped in this effort by co-director and co-producer Richard Burton (“Production Crew guaranteed not to steal the thunder from the Great Actor”). The only other name actor in the cast is Elizabeth Taylor (“Great Actor’s Wife”), and she plays several characters, all of which are beautiful women who stand around with little to do but look beautiful (“Co-Star carefully cast to also not steal thunder from Great Actor but to provide Sex Appeal”). The rest of the cast consists of drama students from Burton’s alma mater, Oxford University (“Cast of Unknowns to also ensure that no one steals the thunder from Great Actor”). This type of idea isn’t hopeless, and Burton certainly possessed the acting chops to pull it off. Unfortunately, the movie (“Great Work of Art”) suffers from a huge problem; it never for one moment forgets that it’s a “Great Work of Art” (this movie), and that knees-bent uber-reverent attitude infuses every frame of the movie. The movie is so busy chiseling itself into stone that it never comes to life. It does try to be cinematically creative and visually arresting on occasion, but this backfires. Example: Burton holds a skull in the air and talks about gold, and imaginary gold falls out of the skull. He then talks about pearls, and imaginary pearls fall out of the nose of the skull. He then looks into a crystal and talks about lions, and wouldn’t you know it, we see lions in the crystal, and by this time the obvious artifice of this kind of conceit has rendered the movie almost laughable. Even when the movie tries to lighten itself up in a slapstick sequence with the Pope, it’s still so much a “Great Work of Art” that it hamstrings any chance of the scene actually being funny.

Still, there are moments that work well enough. Classics are sturdy things, and Burton is good enough to make some of the dialogue work. But for the most part, this movie is a bore, and Taylor (who can be an excellent actress) deserves better than a role that relies only on her beauty. This story deserves to be brought to life, but this version embalms it.

DEATH SMILES AT MURDER (1973)
(a.k.a. LA MORTE HA SORRISO ALL’ASSASSINO)
Article #1476 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-30-2005
Posting Date: 8-27-2005
Directed by Joe D’Amato
Featuring Ewa Aulin, Klaus Kinski, Angela Bo

When an amnesiac woman suffers an accident near a country estate, the couple that lives there takes her in. Her arrival sets off a series of murders.

Somewhere in this bizarre compendium of—
a) jerky hand-held camera style photography
b) confusing editing
c) extreme close-ups (especially of eyes)
d) bizarre camera angles (you know, the type where someone’s hand will be bigger than the rest of their body)
e) gory murders,
f) sex
g) very bad dubbing, and
h) subplots about a secret Inca formula to raise the dead

—there may be a plot. There may even be a point. Unfortunately, one thing it doesn’t have (for me anyway) is a real compelling reason to bother sorting out the whole mess. I was also hoping that the familiar face of Klaus Kinski would be enough to help me wend my way through this movie, but he’s stuck in a subplot that ends abruptly and vanishes from the movie after the first half hour.

This movie serves as my introduction to the work of prolific cult director Joe D’Amato. I’ll probably be covering more of them. If the ratings on IMDB are any indication, it may be his best movie. If it is, I don’t really look forward to the future.

DARK PLACES (1973)
Article #1475 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-29-2005
Posting Date: 8-26-2005
Directed by Don Sharp
Featuring Christopher Lee, Joan Collins, Robert Hardy

When a doctor from an asylum hears of a fortune hidden in an old house, he poses as an heir to find the money. Unfortunately, the house is rumored to be haunted, and…

Though there’s not a whole lot of novelty to this story of ghostly possession, it does have some interesting points to it. I like the way that the protagonist finds himself shuttled back and forth between his life in the present and the life of the possessing spirit in the past. Furthermore, the movie is well acted, with solid work from Christopher Lee, Joan Collins, Robert Hardy and Herbert Lom. However, the problems eventually sink the production. The pace is quite sluggish throughout, and it tends to repeat some of its ideas more often than is strictly necessary. It’s worst problems arrive towards the end of the movie; the revelations about the past events in the house have a somewhat silly edge to them, and the movie loses a lot of steam in its final moments and ends with a whimper rather than a bang. In short, it’s watchable, but not very memorable.

THE DEMONS (1972)
(a.k.a. LES DEMONS)
Article #1470 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-24-2005
Posting Date: 8-21-2005
Directed by Jesus Franco
Featuring Anne Libert, Britt Nichols, Doris Thomas

A witch passes a curse on those who burnt her at the stake. The curse is brought about by the actions of her two twin daughters.

I’ve seen only a handful of Jesus Franco films at this point, but I’ve seen little to make me understand why he’s something of a cult item; at his worst, his movies are as boring as anything by Jerry Warren. However, I did get a few hints in this movie. He certainly finds some wonderful places to serve as backdrops for his movies; the interiors in this movie are truly stunning. It’s basically a cross between a witch’s curse movie and nunsploitation. The plot is somewhat coherent this time, and though it moves at a snail’s pace, it never grinds to a complete halt. Still, it’s hard for me to think of Franco as something other than a proponent of pure exploitation when he sees fit to make sure that every five minutes or so we get close-ups of masturbation, torture, genitalia or pubic hair (or several at once, if he can manage it). Yet, for all its excesses, I found it more watchable than FEMALE VAMPIRE, for example, though I still prefer Jean Rollin for my arty erotic horror needs. At least, however, I am getting a few hints as to why he has his cult following.

DELIRIUM (1972)
(a.k.a. DELIRIO CALDO)
Article #1468 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-22-2005
Posting Date: 8-19-2005
Directed by Renato Polselli
Featuring Mickey Hargitay, Rita Caleroni, Raoul Rossi

An impotent doctor tries to make up for his inability to satisfy his wife by committing gruesome murders on beautiful women. When he tries to set himself to be caught by the police, though, his own attempt at murder is interrupted by another murder.

I must admit that I distrust the giallo subgenre; I’m never quite sure to what extent the extended, graphic murders of women common to that form are really examples of “violence as art” or just plain sadistic pandering. If the movies I’d seen had consisted of nothing more than stretches of sadistic violence, I would definitely opt for the latter; however, there always seemed to be something else going on as well, and it’s this extra layer that makes them somewhat more interesting and less offensive.

Still, I was tempted to forgo the more explicit international version of this movie with the shortened American version, and since the DVD jacket points out that the two versions have different subplots and develop in different ways, I could have made the argument that neither version was probably definitive (the American version apparently has a subplot about the Vietnam war). Nevertheless, I opted for the longer version as the more legitimate of the two (and I really didn’t feel up to watching both versions). The murders are pretty nasty, less for explicit gore and more for the sadistic sexuality behind them. It’s something of a mixed bag; it’s confusing at times, laughable at others (especially the silly fantasy sequences), and just because you’re watching the Italian version doesn’t mean you’re not going to be set upon by bad dubbing. Certain plot points are utterly predictable; though I was surprised when a second murderer came on the scene, it took me less than ten minutes to figure out who it would be. Some of the other touches make it intriguing, though; in particular, I found myself fascinated by a the character of the parking lot attendant who somehow ended up being on the scene for practically every murder and naturally becomes the main suspect. Of course he’s not guilty, but I found myself asking why he just happened to be there; was it bad luck? Sheer stupidity? Or was there some ulterior motive to it all? At any rate, his presence adds a bizarre comic touch to the proceedings, which is all to the good, especially since the somewhat outrageous, over-the-top ending has a comic tinge all its own, if for no other reason than it pushes the envelope as to just how many perverted psychos you can cram into one movie.