Dr. Goldfoot and the Girl Bombs (1966)

Article #1484 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-7-2005
Posting Date: 9-4-2005
Directed by Mario Bava
Featuring Vincent Price, Fabian, Franco and Ciccio

Dr. Goldfoot uses his girl bombs to hatch a plot to start a war between the U.S. and Russia.

You know, you’re within your rights to have pretty high expectations for a pairing of one of the greatest horror actors of all time (Vincent Price) and the master of Italian horror Mario Bava. Even if you knew advance that the collaboration would be a sequel to DR. GOLDFOOT AND THE BIKINI MACHINE, you’d still have a right to expect that it would be better than that one. Instead, it almost looks like they both set out to make the worst movies of each of their respective careers. It’s a frantic, hectic comedy that is desperately and disastrously unfunny; I think I counted one half of one joke that worked. At least DGATBM had some sly references to other AIP productions to help it along; this one has nothing but an endless string of horrible gags. I don’t know much about the comedy team of Franco and Ciccio, and I haven’t seen any of their other movies, but here, they’re positively embarrassing. In fact, if the IMDB ratings are to be believed, it’s their worst movie as well. And though it’s not the worst movie I’ve ever seen, there is really nothing quite as painful as an aggressive comedy where every rapid-fire joke misses its target.

I don’t know if there’s a movie theater in hell, but if there is, you can rest assured that this is what’s playing.

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