Dead Cert (2010)
Article 5789 by Dave Sindelar
Directed by Steven Lawson
Featuring Craig Fairbrass, Jason Flemyng, Dexter Fletcher
What it is: British gangsters vs. Romanian vampires
A gangster finds himself in a struggle with a vampire for possession of a nightclub.
The low rating this movie has on IMDB (3.6 at the time I’m writing this) plus some of the user comments make me believe that many people really loathe this movie. If I don’t (and I don’t), it’s because the movie never really did anything to make me loathe it. Nor did it do anything to make me like it either. I could complain about the thickness of the accents which render certain moments of the film incomprehensible, but you get used to it after awhile. It did make me realize a couple of things. One is that I’m rather tired of vampires. Another is that I’m really tired of vampires who talk your ears off before finally getting around to attacking you. Nonetheless, these are minor quibbles to my mind, but beyond that, this compendium of gangsters attacking vampires and vampires attacking gangsters never reaches a point where I feel anything strong about anything I see. Consider this review the equivalent of a shrug.