THE ORGY MACHINE (1972)
aka The Incredible Sex-Ray Machine
Article 4613 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-26-2014
Director unknown
Featuring Jan Davis, Pete Dawson, Uschi Digard
Country: USA
What it is: 62 minutes long

An ex-Nazi mad scientist creates a machine that will help him take over the world. When the ray is turned towards people it makes them too distracted by other things to do anything but engage in the things they’re distracted by.

Let me be honest; I’m a little on the repressed side, so I’m more than a little self-conscious (in fact, I’m quite embarrassed) to admit to even watching movies of this ilk (which leave nothing to the imagination), much less reviewing them. Unfortunately, I’m also obsessive enough about the comprehensiveness of my movie watching project that I will still seek out these films if they have any fantastic content, even knowing what I’m getting into when I find them. So you can make what psychological hay you want to out of this; my own reaction to the experience is to make my review as G-rated as possible. You see, this ray makes people do stuff. The scientist tests it about seven or eight times, so we get lots of footage of people doing stuff. Ironically, none of the footage of people doing stuff is original to this movie; IMDB lists that all of the actors other than the scientist appear in archive footage. As for the scientist, he never actually does stuff himself; he just enjoys watching others do stuff, until he goes a bit loony and the machine blows up. Oops, did I give away the ending? That would be a spoiler if anyone was watching this one for the plot, which I don’t see happening. All I can say is that you’re never going to take over the world if you’re too lazy to shoot your own footage of people doing stuff for your movie.