Beiss mich, Liebling (1970)

aka Bite Me, Darling; Love, Vampire Style
Article 3838 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-6-2012
Posting Date: 2-16-2012
Directed by Helmut Fornbacher
Featuring Eva Renzi, Patrick Jordan, Amadeus August
Country: West Germany
What it is: Horror comedy

A psychiatrist, jealous of the sexual escapades of the town’s new mailman, plots to kill him only to have his plans backfire.

Yes, it’s a vampire comedy (one of the alternate titles makes that clear enough), so why don’t I mention anything about vampires in my short plot description above? It’s because I generally limit any plot description I have to the first half of the movie, and this movie is a good three-quarters through before we get any vampire antics at all. The three-quarters mostly plays out like a bawdy comedy. My copy of the movie is in unsubtitled German, but the movie is one of those that uses a lot of visuals to tell its story, and if you know the premise, it’s pretty easy to follow. It really doesn’t seem to have much of a plot for the first half; it’s not until the psychiatrist begins his plans to kill the mailman that it seems to follow a story thread. Still, there are some plot points that are lost in the mix; I’m not quite sure why the psychiatrist becomes a vampire, though a scene where he discovers he has grown vampire fangs does seem to indicate that he is prone to it for one reason or another. The humor comes through even without subtitles, and though it’s hardly a great movie, it has its moments; my favorite has the vampire, denied access to his coffin, finding a substitute container for the night. Incidentally, I watched the 85 minute version, which is how it was originally shown in theaters; the longer 102 minute version had extra hardcore sex footage edited into it at a later time. My thanks to doctor kiss for this tidbit of info.


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