Article 3769 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-27-2011
Posting Date: 12-9-2011
Directed by William Sachs
Featuring Stephen Macht, Avery Schreiber, J.D. Hinton
What it is: Not sure, but it thinks it’s a comedy
A police ship is sent to a distant planet to retrieve the Blue Crystal, a gem of incredible power.
Before this movie premiered, actress Dorothy Stratten (who, despite being fourth-billed, plays the title character) was shockingly murdered by her husband, a story that is told in the movie STAR 80. I mention this fact because that seems to be the fact for which this movie is most famous. And, having seen the movie itself, that’s perhaps as it should be. Stratten wears a handful of sexy costumes, which I’m sure will be considered a plus by some people. The only other plus I can think of for this movie is that it has lots of alien creatures in it. It’s certainly not going to be remembered for its plot, which, if summarized, would have trouble filling out an index card. It’s not going to be remembered for its jokes; the ones that aren’t a hundred years old are stillborn, and the comic timing is so horrid that even those jokes that might have potentially worked die a horrible death. If you’re trapped into watching it, you might amuse yourself at spotting the subtle and not-so-subtle references to other science fiction movies and TV shows. The “R” rating seems to be mostly the result of an unnecessary plethora of badly-integrated cussing. By the way, that’s Angelo Rossitto in the costume of the monster from the egg. This one is truly awful.