Article 3057 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-20-2009
Posting Date: 12-27-2009
Directed by Lamar Card
Featuring Mark Schneider, Katie Saylor, Morgan Woodward
What it is: Lowbrow van worship movie with science fiction touches
A man takes a solar-powered supervan that shoots laser beams to a van “freakout”, where he hopes to win the $5000 prize.
This movie features –
1) endless CB chatter
2) nonstop songs about vans
3) a wet t-shirt contest with Charles Bukowski
4) a cop-in-an-outhouse scene
5) lots of car-wrecks
6) a sex-with-whipped-cream scene that is sent out over the airwaves
7) a van-hopping preacher’s wife
8) lots and lots of van convoys and van design footage
9) Len Lesser as a cop
10) motorcycle-driving rapists.
I think there’s also a plot in there somewhere, but I can’t be sure. Is it good? I’m not even sure it really exists. I’ll just say this much; a) it’s designed for people who think SMOKEY AND THE BANDIT was elitist and too arty, and b) it was filmed in Kansas City, Missouri, which is only four hours away, and that’s too close for comfort.