CREATURES THE WORLD FORGOT (1971)
Article 2918 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-4-2009
Posting Date: 8-9-1009
Directed by Don Chaffey
Featuring Julie Ege, Brian O’Shaughnessy, Tony Bonner
Country: UK

Cavemen grunt, kill, wrestle and fill out ninety minutes worth of celluloid.

I always swore that I would never stoop to a dismissive one-line review of a movie no matter how bad it was. However, this one inspired me to come up with ten one-line reviews instead. Just pick your favorite, and move on.

1) If this is the story the creatures wanted to be remembered by, no wonder.

2) In short, no dinosaurs; we’d remember them.

3) The only thing smaller than their wardrobes are their vocabularies.

4) I would choose this movie as the one least likely to ever have a memorable quote page on IMDB.

5) What I learned from this movie: Caveman made up for their dearth of clothing by an overabundance of accessories.

6) This is the caveman movie the other caveman movies don’t talk about.

7) The locations are nice and the dialogue doesn’t suck; what’s not to like?

8) If you thought that a movie without any dialogue wouldn’t make any sense… you’d be right.

9) Alternate Title: When Loincloths Ruled the Earth

10) If these creatures were really forgotten, than this movie gives us a rare opportunity to forget them all over again.

P.S. I promise that this is the only review I ever write that uses the word “suck” in that context.