Month: August 2017

The ? Motorist (1906)

THE ? MOTORIST (1906)
Article 2092 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-7-2006
Posting Date: 5-5-2007
Directed by Walter R. Booth
Cast Unknown

A ! policeman is run down by a ? car. When he attempts to pursue, the ? car climbs the side of a @ building, goes into the * sky, and drives on the # clouds, eventually ending up riding around the !!?! rings of Saturn.

This is another Melies imitation, but it’s certainly one of the most amusing ones out there. The fact that it actually features some of its scenes outdoors (in contrast to the studio-bound Melies oeuvre) gives it a good sense of novelty, and many of the special effects are pointed and very funny, especially the one where the car turns into a horse and carriage to astound the pursuing policeman. This is one of the best of the early trick films.

 

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Meet Me in Las Vegas (1956)

MEET ME IN LAS VEGAS (1956)
Article 2091 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-6-2006
Posting Date: 5-4-2007
Directed by Roy Rowland
Featuring Dan Dailey, Cyd Charisse, Agnes Moorehead

A cowboy with a bad losing streak comes to Vegas, and he wins for the first time when he grabs the hand of a ballerina for luck. He soon discovers that she is his lucky charm, and that he can’t lose when he’s holding her hand. They begin to fall in love.

This slight musical with fantasy overtones (the amazing good luck when they hold hands is the fantastic element) works well enough for the first half of the movie, thanks to a likable cast and some truly colorful characters (in particular, the Hungarian blackjack dealer played by Oskar Karlweis who can’t stand to see the cowboy gamble away his money is a favorite). but it starts to wear thin in the second half, partially due to some odd musical choices (the Sleeping Beauty ballet sequence feels out of place, in particular) and to the fact that the story takes some fairly glum twists towards the end. There are some really fun moments, though; I especially like Dan Dailey’s duet with Mitsuko Sawamura. It has a fun little cameo from Frank Sinatra, and another from Peter Lorre (his sole line is “Hit me, you creep!”). Mel Welles has an uncredited appearance in here as well.

 

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The Mystic Swing (1900)

THE MYSTIC SWING (1900)
Article 2090 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-5-2006
Posting Date: 5-3-2007
Directed by Edwin S. Porter
Cast unknown

Two magicians have a competition in making women appear and disappear on a swing.

There’s not much of a plot to speak of in this early Melies imitation. One magician makes ’em appear, the other makes ’em go away. That is, until a skeleton appears and foils the abilities of one of the magicians. That’s about it. One question; given that the skeleton steals the show here, why doesn’t he take a bow with the others at the end?

 

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The Mysterious Retort (1906)

THE MYSTERIOUS RETORT (1906)
aka ALCHIMISTE PARAFARAGAMUS OU LO CORNUE INFERNALE
Article 2089 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-4-2006
Posting Date: 5-2-2007
Directed by Georges Melies
Featuring Georges Melies

An alchemist is tormented by a succession of creatures that emerge from a glass vial.

I’m not sure where the retort comes into play in this Melies fantasy, but I suppose it’s mysterious enough. The bizarre snake that emerges first steals the show here, as it grows and shrinks in size before transforming into a tumbling imp. There may be a plot here, but it’s not much of one. Overall, it’s fun enough, but it’s fairly minor Melies.

PS: I’ve been informed that the glass vial is called a retort. That explains the title. You learn something new every day.

 

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Murder at Midnight (1931)

MURDER AT MIDNIGHT (1931)
aka THE MONSTER KILLS
Article 2088 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-3-2006
Posting Date: 5-1-2007
Directed by Frank R. Strayer
Featuring Aileen Pringle, Alice White, Hale Hamilton

When a game of charades results in the murder of a rich man’s secretary, the police are called in to investigate, only to find several more murders being committed in succession.

A spooky opening sequence gives it a touch of horror, and a couple of murder gimmicks add a bit of science fiction to this mystery, giving it its only fantastic elements. You know, this early talkie is so stiff and so stagey that it almost exudes a certain fascination, and this will hold you about fifteen minutes before the dreariness sets in. Well, even if the production is creaky, the story does have some good things about it to help you along. Here are four good things about this movie.

1) The presence of Brandon Hurst as the butler. Brandon Hurst appeared in a number of early horror movies, and though his name isn’t well known, his presence is always felt and appreciated by me.

2) After the butler finds the will, he hides it one of the better hiding places I’ve seen in a movie like this.

3) The identity of the murderer is a definite and unexpected treat.

4) The comic relief character has one simple but annoying (and amusing) bad habit. One of the better laughs I had in this movie was that this bad habit was also used to give murder suspects the third degree.

 

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Operation Abduction (1958)

OPERATION ABDUCTION (1958)
aka RAPT AU DEUXIEME BUREAU
Article 2087 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-2-2006
Posting Date: 4-30-2007
Directed by Jean Stelli
Featuring Frank Villard, Danielle Godet, Dalida

A secret government bureau decides to protect a rocket scientist from abduction by faking his own kidnapping. They then send out an agent to locate a criminal organization known to be after the scientist.

The fantastic content in this spy thriller is that the scientist was working on technology to make interplanetary travel a reality. That’s it. When the fantastic content in a movie exists solely to provide a reason for various parties to fight over it, I refer to that content as the Gizmo Maguffin; movies with these elements usually are of little interest to science fiction fans, and are very marginal. This one is especially marginal, as we never see the scientist working on anything (in fact, he barely appears in the movie) and it’s totally focused on the criminals, the secret service agents, and various involved parties. On its own terms, I found it passable but confusing, and badly dubbed (and panned-and-scanned) to boot. This one is not essential viewing.

 

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The Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967)

THE MILLION EYES OF SUMURU (1967)
Article 2086 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-1-2006
Posting Date: 4-29-2007
Directed by Lindsay Shonteff
Featuring Frankie Avalon, George Nader, Shirley Eaton

A secret agent tries to take on Sumuru, the head of a female cult that intends to use assassination to take over the world.

Poor George Nader! Not only is he saddled here with some of the lamest comic one-liners ever written, but he also receives lower billing than Frankie Avalon, who plays what amounts to (for all practical purposes) his sidekick. Not only that, most of the audience is probably too busy ogling the beautiful women to pay any attention to him, and then Klaus Kinski comes along in a cameo and outacts the rest of the cast. Well, at least he doesn’t have a line as bad as Frankie’s about whether it’s time to sing a song now. I found it very hard to take this movie seriously due to the nonstop barrage of one-liners, and the fact that the one-liners were pretty bad only made it worse. Still, I think it’s a little better than its sequel, FUTURE WOMEN; yes, it’s a much more conventional movie than that one was, but at least when it’s time for the action sequences, you get action sequences, and there’s a good surprise moment in the first couple of minutes. Beyond that, this is faux Fu Manchu at its lamest.

 

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Jennifer (1978)

JENNIFER (1978)
Article 2085 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-30-2006
Posting Date: 4-28-2007
Directed by Brice Mack
Featuring Lisa Pelikan, Bert Convy, Nina Foch

Jennifer, a shy college student at a private school, becomes the object of torment at the hands of shallow society girls. Little do they know that Jennifer has the power to summon snakes.

Believe it or not, this late seventies horror movie is subtly modeled off of another late seventies horror movie. Let’s see if you can figure out which one from the subtle clues below.

1. The movie title consists of a girl’s name, much as the the title of CARRIE does.

2. The title character is tormented by snooty rich kids, much like the way the snooty rich kids in CARRIE treat the title character in that one.

3. The title character has a secret power, much like the title character of CARRIE has. In this case, it is the power to summon and control snakes (a little bit like the main character in STANLEY does). Not just ordinary-sized snakes, mind you, but also those big fake-looking ones that are capable of decapitating people.

4. The title character has a crazy Bible-thumping parent, much as the main character in CARRIE has.

5. There is a scene of shallow people enjoying themselves in a disco much like the movie SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER has ( a movie featuring John Travolta, who is not only name-dropped on one occasion here but also appeared in CARRIE).

Now, can you figure out which movie served as the subtle model for this one? (HINT: It’s not SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER or STANLEY .)

All right, so I made it fairly obvious, but no more so than the movie itself does. Yes, it does manage to dredge up a few differences from its model (in particular, the main character’s parent is not the authority figure to get offed in the story), but whatever points it gains by these differences are lost by the use of Bach’s Toccata and Fugue in D Minor as music at one point (how hackneyed can you get?) and for having a scene that takes place in a disco. If you’re going to drag me back to the seventies, at least don’t drag me to one of those.

 

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In Search of Ancient Mysteries (1975)

IN SEARCH OF ANCIENT MYSTERIES (1975)
Article 2084 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-29-2006
Posting Date: 4-27-2007
Directed by Fred Washofsky
Featuring narration by Rod Serling

In the ancient world there are many phenomena that have yet to be explained by modern science. Could this be proof that we have been visited by men from outer space?

This short TV documentary was one of two culled from CHARIOTS OF THE GODS; it features narration by Rod Serling as we travel the world searching for evidence that we are descendants of ancient astronauts. Other than to mention that I am a skeptic about such things, I won’t dwell much on the validity of the theories; instead, I’m going to grouse a bit about how dull and repetitive these documentaries can get. We visit a far-flung country, and the soundtrack plays vaguely exotic music reminiscent of this region. The narrator describes some curious phenomenon, and then asks some variation of “Could it be that these phenomena were the result of visitors from another world?”. Occasionally, they vary the proceedings by interviewing some noted scientist (whose name is unfamiliar to me); we see the scientist walking around while the narrator gives us his credentials, and then the scientist speculates about visitors from outer space. Even with Rod Serling as the narrator and a short running time, this wears thin very quickly, especially if you’ve seen this sort of thing before. Granted, if you buy into the theories, it probably seems exciting and mysterious. I suspect that whether you like this is dependent on how much you buy into it.

 

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The Horror of It All (1963)

THE HORROR OF IT ALL (1963)
Article 2083 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-28-2006
Posting Date: 4-26-2007
Directed by Terence Fisher
Featuring Pat Boone, Erica Rogers, Dennis Price

An American visits the home of his British girlfriend to ask for her hand in marriage, and encounters her eccentric relatives. He then discovers that someone is knocking off members of the family one by one.

Let’s give credit where credit is due. The strengths of this movie are that it has a strong cast, and Terence Fisher keeps the movie relatively short (only 75 minutes). I think it’s important to mention these strengths at the outset, because its weaknesses threaten to overshadow them. Its main problem is an atrocious, predictable script that tries to mine laughs out of jokes that are as old as Dracula’s castle (just for example, the joke about the vampiric character’s favorite drink being a bloody mary is one that any smart editor would have left on the cutting room floor; here, it’s one of the big jokes). This movie could have been agonizing to sit through if it hadn’t been for one thing; the cast consistently refuses to resort to desperation for laughs, and it somehow leaves the movie with an amiable watchable quality it might not otherwise have. In this context, Pat Boone’s warbling of the silly innocuous title tune (you didn’t think he was just here to act, do you?) – which would have ordinarily had me rushing to the refrigerator – becomes a relative highlight of the movie. The best gags involve an inventor who keeps working on things that have already been invented, and these jokes are only mildly funny. All in all, it’s pretty bad, but it could have been a lot worse.

 

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