ATTACK OF THE MONSTERS (1969)
aka GAMERA VS. GUIRON, GAMERA TAI DAIAKUJU GIRON
Article 2155 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-8-2007
Posting Date: 7-7-2007
Directed by Noriaki Yuasa
Featuring Nobuhiro Kajima, Miyuki Akiyama, Christopher Murphy

Two boys discover a flying saucer which takes them to a planet on the other side of the sun from the earth. The only two residents left are female aliens who plan to eat the boys’ brains. They also control a giant monster named Guiron with a head like a knife. Fortunately, Gamera is a friend to all children, and comes to the rescue of the boys.

Most of Gamera’s foes during his run of sixties movies were fairly silly, but this one goes off the goofy meter; Guiron’s head is a giant knife which he uses to slice and dice his victims. I’ve seen both of the two dubbed versions of this movie; the American International version (which goes under the title ATTACK OF THE MONSTERS) and the Sandy Frank version (called GAMERA VS. GUIRON). As usual, the AIP version has the superior dubbing, but is missing footage that can be found in the Sandy Frank version. Unfortunately, the AIP verion omits the most hilariously memorable scene of the film, in which Guiron totally dismembers a space Gaos by cutting off his wings, decapitating him, and then cutting him into slabs (did you know that the insides of giant monsters are solid masses without recognizable organs?). Sure, it sounds pretty extreme, but it’s more goofy than gory. Then there are the space women in gray tights who tempt the boys with drugged donuts, and shave one boy’s head in preparation for a meal the Brainiac would appreciate. Gamera races flying saucers, performs a gymnastic feat, dances go-go, and practices his welding skills. Yes, it’s all pretty cheesy, but I dote on Guiron, and who wouldn’t want to live in a world without wars or traffic accidents?