THE JEKYLL AND HYDE PORTFOLIO (1972)
Article #1550 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-12-2005
Posting Date: 11-9-2005
Directed by Eric Jeffrey Haims
Featuring Sebastian Brook, Mady Maguire, Donn Greer

The police investigate a gruesome murder at a nurse’s institute. Other murders start occurring, with each of the bodies mutilated with a V-shaped symbol.

Who is the murderer? The mysterious Dr. Cabala, head of the institute, who has a sword hidden in his cane? The disturbed head nurse who was traumatized by the death of her daughter and seeks to “protect” women from the invasions of men? The horny mute in the basement? The doctor who dissects live frogs because a) it’s fun, and b) it impresses the girls? The bitter and scarred cook who calls herself the “Chicken Chopper”? The really big question is: Will you really care? This confusing mishmash of gore (some of it gratuitous; I don’t think frogs have that much blood in them, though I do suspect real frogs gave up their lives for this one), sex (lesbian and hetero), bad narration, shaky camerawork and horrendous acting certainly didn’t trip my trigger. If I were a serial killer, I hope they would give me a cooler theme song than a calliope version of “The Man on the Flying Trapeze”. And if I were a man of science, I wouldn’t deliver the movie’s funniest line, “I’m a man of science. I don’t call a thing a thing until I know it’s a thing.” And one more question: if the movie takes place in the nineteenth century, why do all of the naked women have bikini tan lines?