GRIMM’S FAIRY TALES FOR ADULTS (1969)
(a.k.a. GRIMMS MARCHEN VON LUSTERNEN PARCHEN)
Article #1524 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-17-2005
Posting Date: 10-14-2005
Directed by Rolf Thiele
Featuring Evelyn Dutree, Gaby Fuchs, Walter Giller

Fairy tale characters engage in bawdy shenanigans.

I had originally planned to write my review of this movie before seeing it, and guessing what it was going to be like based solely on the title. Though I ended up seeing the movie first, I can let you know what I was going to say in advance 1) that it was a soft-core porno version of several fairy tales, 2) that it was going to be really dumb, 3) that a lot of characters would be unclothed, 4) and that the plot (such as it is) would involve voyeuristic dwarfs and pseudo-bestiality (you know, sex between a human being and another human being in an animal costume). Given the title, the first three points were no-brainers. The fourth was a shot in the dark, but I figured we were bound to have talking animals, and in this type of movie, if they can talk they can do other things. I also strongly suspected there was going to be a parody of Snow White in the mix, and that being the case, I concluded that Prince Charming was going to do more than just kiss Snow White, and that while he was doing that, those seven dwarfs would have to be keeping themselves occupied somehow.

Well, I have seen the movie, and the only thing I’m not sure about is number two. Sure, it looks really dumb, but since my print is in unsubtitled German, I couldn’t understand the jokes well enough to say whether they were dumb or not. I also didn’t anticipate that the movie would be fairly bloody as well; in fact, it slips into horror on occasion. Actually, this may not be as outrageous as it seems; I’ve heard tell that the fairy tales told to children are often expurgated versions of much more grotesque stories, and the example I’ve seen trotted out most often is that Cinderella’s ugly stepsisters took certain extreme measures to ensure their feet would fit into the glass slippers. The slippers here aren’t glass, but the extreme measures are here in full glory. Still, the most upsetting thing about this movie is that some of the animals are treated horribly; in particular, a pig is rather badly mistreated at one point. Grimm indeed!