DUNGEON OF HARROW (1962)
Article #1152 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-10-2004
Posting Date: 10-7-2004
Directed by Pat Boyette
Featuring Russ Harvey, Helen Hogan, William McNulty

A noble gets stranded on an island with the mad Count Lorente de Sade.

Imagine you’re watching THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME….

Now imagine watching THE MOST DANGEROUS GAME done on a budget that would barely cover the cost of a pack of Juicy Fruit…

Throw in some lepers and some torture…

Now throw in some people to recite the dialogue in the script. I’d call them actors except that would be misleading…

Now imagine these actors delivering their dialogue. Except it isn’t dialogue they’re reciting. It’s a series of lengthy speeches. Therefore, imagine them speechifying…

Imagine them speechifying badly….

Imagine them speechifying badly and very very slooooooooowly…

Imagine our hero describing his emotions and feelings in voice-over narration. Imagine being grateful at having him let you know how he’s feeling because there’s no way you could have seen it on his face…

Imagine a shipwreck scene that is shot so darkly that it almost (but not quite) completely obscures the fact that the boat is obviously a badly designed toy…

Imagine a scene that takes place in a cabin on the boat during a storm that is even less convincing than the cockpit sequences in PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE…

Imagine sound quality worse than that of a Herschell Gordon Lewis movie…

Imagine that the guy who directed the acting was also responsible for the script as well as the music. Imagine that his level of competence is about equal on all these tasks….

Now imagine that you’re not imagining.

Okay, you can run screaming now.