King Dinosaur (1955)

Article #808 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-1-2003
Posting Date: 10-29-2003
Directed by Bert I. Gordon
Featuring Ignatz, Rumsford, Little Joe the Honey Bear

Astronauts land on a new planet in the solar system and do “scientific research.”

Title check: “Serf Slurpasaur” is more like it.

Ten thoughts on KING DINOSAUR.

1) This was the first movie directed by Bert I. Gordon, though it was not the first one he produced; I believe that honor goes to the yet unseen (by me) SERPENT ISLAND.

2) He got better.

3) A LOT better.

4) Hindsight is twenty-twenty, but if I had organized this expedition, I would have started out by making sure that everyone’s gator-wrestling skills were up to snuff.

5) I would also have sent along some Raid. A BIG can of Raid, that is.

6) If I were making a movie called KING DINOSAUR, I wouldn’t wait until two-thirds of the way through the movie to add the dinosaur.

7) I’ve heard that the dinosaur footage is from ONE MILLION B.C., but if it is, it isn’t the usual footage I’ve seen from the movie. But I will say that the slurpasaur fights are very nasty looking, and I don’t think the blood is faked. I’ve asked Ignatz and Rumsford about it, but they don’t feel inclined to talk about this movie. Somehow, I don’t blame them.

8) The movie doesn’t have the worst soundtrack I’ve ever heard (not while copies of JAIL BAIT or MESA OF LOST WOMEN exist anyway), but it is repetitive and annoying.

9) If I were organizing an expedition like the one in this movie, I would not send the four people who ended up going, and…

10) …Most importantly, I wouldn’t send an A-Bomb with them. Especially if they have any intention of “bringing civilization” to the new planet.”

There’s some tough competition out there, but for my money, this is the worst dinosaur movie of them all.

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