MANOS, THE HANDS OF FATE (1966)
Article #666 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-10-2003
Posting Date: 6-9-2003
A family gets lost on the road and stays at a strange house with a demonic master.
Eleven thoughts on this one.
1. This movie, like PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, has gained a reputation in certain circles as the worst movie ever made.
2. Unlike PLAN 9 FROM OUTER SPACE, I would never recommend the movie to a bad film fanatic looking for a good laugh. Not that it’s not bad; it is. It’s just not bad in a laughable way.
3. Part of the reason it’s not funny is that it gets under your skin in ways that make it hard to laugh off. Like it or not, the movie does get to you on certain levels.
4. One of the ways it gets to you is through the character of Torgo. His twitchy, big-kneed character with the bizarre speech patterns gives such an unsettlingly strange performance that you wonder whether it is actually a performance at all; you get the feeling he may have been like that in real life. I don’t know one way or the other, but the very fact that the question arises is enough to make me a little queasy.
5. The ending of the movie has a plot point (concerning the couple’s child) that also has impact. It may also leave you with the feeling that you’ve just seen the sickest movie ever made.
6. Imagine that your most boring neighbors insist on showing thirty hours of vacation footage shot while they were driving through the dullest section of the world. Imagine they’ve decided to enhance these cinematic endeavours with the most appallingly tepid elevator music they’ve been able to find. This will give you a good idea of the first fifteen minutes of this movie.
7. I don’t consider this movie the worst I’ve ever seen. What is? Don’t get me started…
8. Even if I don’t consider it the worst movie ever made, it certainly has the most awesomely bad post-production tinkering I’ve ever heard; it is rife with missed sound effects, stupid editing, and horrendous dubbing, and it’s already in English.
9. There is a scene here where several women have a catfight while wearing see-through negligees that allow you to see their bras and panties. It doesn’t help.
10. It’s merely a coincidence that this movie came up in the numerical order it did (check the number above).
11. I’m not entirely sure about number 10.