Can Heironymus Merkin Ever Forget Mercy Humppe and Find True Happiness? (1969)

CAN HEIRONYMUS MERKIN EVER FORGET MERCY HUMPPE AND FIND TRUE HAPPINESS? (1969)
Article 3360 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-13-2010
Posting Date: 10-26-2010
Directed by Anthony Newley
Featuring Anthony Newley, Joan Collins, Alexander Newley
Country: UK
What it is: Art film, vanity project style

Heironymus Merkin, feeling the onset of old age, makes a movie that tells the true story of his life to that point.

If this movie is more or less an autobiographical account of Anthony Newley’s life up to that point (I haven’t read any extensive biographies about him, but IMDB’s mini-biography matches up somewhat to the some of the story points here), then he at least should be given credit for not painting himself as better than he really was; his character comes across as a selfish jerk whose main redeeming point is that he’s aware that he’s a selfish jerk. And at least he didn’t call his movie ONE (as in reference to Fellini calling his film 8 1/2), as this was his first directorial effort. In fact, the script name-drops Fellini as well as Bergman. He casts his own children to play his children, and his own wife at the time (Joan Collins) as his wife; apparently, Collins has said that the movie contributed to the decline of her marriage to Newley, and if the movie paints any sort of real portrait of him, you can see why. Still, when it comes to art films, I’ll opt for anything by Fellini or Bergman over this one; despite the autobiographical bent of it all, it seems somewhat superficial and lacking in depth. I doubt that rewatching the movie would unlock anything more than I got the first time. As it was, I mostly found myself waiting for the various appearances of George Jessel (as the Presence) so I could hear his next joke. The fantastic content here is the usual trappings of a movie of this sort; Newley visualizes himself as a puppet and as an automaton with a mouth and a wind-up key, most of the action takes place inexplicably on a beach, and near the end there’s a fairy-tale sequence involving an enchanted donkey. The movie got an X rating initially, partially for the nudity and partially for a story line involving the main character’s involvement with an underage girl. I don’t really hate the movie (quite frankly, I found the distancing techniques kept me from attaching to it in any emotional way), but I think there’s less here than meets the eye.

Highlander (1986)

HIGHLANDER (1986)
Article 3359 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-11-2010
Posting Date: 10-25-2010
Directed by Russell Mulcahy
Featuring Christopher Lambert, Roxanne Hart, Clancy Brown
Country: USA / UK
What it is: Action fantasy

An immortal (who can only die by decapitation) from the Scottish highlands must face off with an ancient foe for the Prize, a gift that will be bestowed on the last surviving immortal.

The opening music features a song by Queen at its most bombastically overbearing (and, as a fan, I need to point out that I don’t think the group’s music is always that way) and the opening scene is a wrestling match. These two items pretty much set up the type of movie that follows; a subtlety-deficient over-the-top action fantasy with lots of sword-wielding violence, warrior philosophy, and mystical/religious overtones. I’m not surprised that the plot and the concept seem a little threadbare, or that the main villain becomes more and more cartoonish as the movie proceeds; after all, the movie’s primary reason for existence is the action sequences, and the reason to make the characters immortals is so they can really make mincemeat of each other and come back for more. It’s no surprise that the emotional component of the story (the relationship between male immortals and female mortals) is lost in the mix. In the final analysis, I’d say the movie is a success; it does what it sets out to do; whether you like it depends on if you like what it sets out to do. Hint: If you like the opening Queen song and the wrestling scene, this movie will suit you just fine.

Dracula and Son (1976)

DRACULA AND SON (1976)
aka Dracula pere et fils
Article 3358 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-11-2010
Posting Date: 10-24-2010
Directed by Edouard Molinaro
Featuring Christopher Lee, Bernard Menez, Marie-Helene Breillat
Country: France
What it is: Vampire comedy

When revolution drives them away from their castle in Transylvania, Dracula and his son escape to Paris and London respectively.

First of all, I think it’s important to specify that I saw the 79 minute English dubbed version of this movie. This is an important detail, because reportedly this version made mincemeat of the original French version of the film, and even if you didn’t know that from the outset, you’d be able to tell; there’s a lot of annoying narration, there’s an enormous amount of dubbed talking going on when none of the characters appear to be moving their mouths, many of the jokes seem geared to Americans (such as the fact that the son is dubbed with a Don Adams impersonation), and the repeated sequence that purports to be a scene of a movie being shot is obviously the same footage again and again, probably taken out of context from another part of the movie. Especially disappointing is the fact that Christopher Lee was dubbed by someone else; Lee claims he dubbed his own voice, but it looks like they didn’t use his dub, probably because of the heavy doctoring of the script that no doubt occurred. This version is a very silly movie, with weird self-referential jokes (the father becomes famous because he looks like Christopher Lee) and endless celebrity impersonations. Reportedly, the original version had some political themes, but little of that seems left. It’s sporadically amusing but mostly dumb. I may have to find a subtitled copy of the original movie to judge it fairly, so for now, it’s best to realize that my comments here refer only to the English language version.

Adventures of Captain Africa, Mighty Jungle Avenger (1955)

ADVENTURES OF CAPTAIN AFRICA, MIGHTY JUNGLE AVENGER (1955)
Serial
Article 3357 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-10-2010
Posting Date: 10-23-2010
Directed by Spencer Gordon Bennet
Featuring John Hart, Rick Vallin, Ben Welden
Country: USA
What it is: Bargain basement serial thrills

Captain Africa, Mighty Jungle Avenger, helps a deposed caliph regain his throne.

This serial was originally intended to be a sequel to Columbia’s THE PHANTOM, but after they completed it they discovered that their option to make a sequel to the previous serial had expired. Therefore, they brought back some of the actors and reshot some of the scenes to make it look like a different hero, one Captain Africa, was doing the heroics. To me, the serial looks like it was cobbled together mostly from footage of other serials (especially THE PHANTOM), with the new actors standing around and looking at things and having conversations. The plot feels like it was barely thrown together, and everyone seems detached from the action. To my mind, this is one lousy serial with virtually nothing to redeem it, yet I find it sitting on IMDB with a 7.2 rating. Now, I know that serials like this are only rated by people who love serials to begin with, but there are far worthier serials out there to defend. The fantastic content: Captain Africa magically appears and disappears in front of the jungle tribes (explained in THE PHANTOM but not here) and Captain Africa consults a crystal ball on occasion.

Herbie Rides Again (1974)

HERBIE RIDES AGAIN (1974)
Article 3356 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-9-2010
Posting Date: 10-22-2010
Directed by Robert Stevenson
Featuring Helen Hayes, Ken Berry, Stefanie Powers
Country: USA
What it is: Shopping cart movie sequel

Herbie the Love Bug is now in the possession of a kindly old woman who lives in a firehouse. However, the evil Alonzo Hawk wants to tear down the lady’s home so he can build an office building on the spot. Can Herbie save the day?

No, the sequel isn’t up to the level of the original; the story is much less interesting and is less solidly constructed, and many of the gags are obvious. Still, given that the Disney shopping cart movies were really starting to show their strain by this time, it does have its moments. First of all, I like the presence of both Helen Hayes and John McIntire here; as the feisty old woman and her cattleman beau, they add a real low-key charm to the proceedings that offsets the more blatant slapstick. It’s also nice to see Keenan Wynn reprise his role from the flubber movies. And some of the scenes get extremely wild; the scene where Herbie chases Alonzo Hawk around his office full of soap suds is rather freaky, and Alonzo Hawk’s nightmare (which involves fanged monster Herbies and borrows from KING KONG) is the highlight of the movie. Herbie would appear in two more sequels.

Alraune (1930)

ALRAUNE (1930)
Article 3355 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-7-2010
Posting Date: 10-21-2010
Directed by Richard Oswald
Featuring Brigitte Helm, Albert Bassermann, Harald Paulsen
Country: Germany
What it is: Artificial life story

A woman who was the result of an experiment in artificial insemination grows up to be amoral.

The above plot description is based on my various other encounters with the story; my copy of this one is in German with Danish subtitles, and I wouldn’t have been able to make heads or tales out of it had I not been familiar with the basic story. This was Brigitte Helm’s second stab at the title role; she had played it in the 1928 version with Paul Wegener. The story seems to diverge from that one, so I couldn’t rely on the earlier version to work out some of the plot points, though the user comment on IMDB claims that this version is closest to the original novel. There are some striking visual moments. There is a wonderfully edited speeding car sequence, and there are times when Brigitte Helm’s body language can speak volumes. Nevertheless, my lack of understanding of the plot intricacies make it impossible for me to give any meaningful evaluation of this one.

Goldfinger (1964)

GOLDFINGER (1964)
Article 3354 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-6-2010
Posting Date: 10-20-2010
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Featuring Sean Connery, Honor Blackman, Gert Frobe
Country: UK
What it is: James Bond movie

James Bond is assigned to investigate a clever gold smuggler, but uncovers a plan to destroy the economy of the United States that would also make the smuggler the richest man on Earth.

Though FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE is my choice for the best of the Bonds, it’s also the one that feels least typical for the series. This one is quintessential; it’s smoothly directed, exciting, full of fun moments, and features not only one of the best villains in the series (Gert Frobe’s performance is exceptional) but also one of the most memorable minions with Oddjob and his decapitating hat. As usual, the fantastic content is the assortment of gadgetry that is on display here. I’ve seen this one a couple of other times, and I notice how well it holds up to repeated viewings; there are a lot of interesting things happening out on the edges, especially when Bond visits with Q.

Free For All (1949)

FREE FOR ALL (1949)
Article 3353 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-4-2010
Posting Date: 10-19-2010
Directed by Charles Barton
Featuring Robert Cummings, Ann Blyth, Percy Kilbride
Country: USA
What it is: Inventor comedy

An inventor concocts a pill that can turn water into gasoline.

This one fell off of my hunt list some time ago, but someone pointed me in the direction of a copy, so I’m glad to finally review it. Yet, now having seen it, I really don’t have a lot to say about it. It’s a middling-to-fair comedy about an man who invents a pill that converts water into gasoline, and his run-in with an oil company who fears it will put them out of business and try to get the formula for themselves. It has some satirical possibilities, but the movie doesn’t really explore them, settling instead for hackneyed situations and forced contrivances. Still, it’s fun to see Percy Kilbride in something other than his Ma and Pa Kettle comedies, and the cast also features Percy Helton and Ray Collins.

Gargoyles (1972)

GARGOYLES (1972)
TV-Movie
Article 3352 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-3-2010
Posting Date: 10-18-2010
Directed by Bill L. Norton
Featuring Cornel Wilde, Jennifer Salt, Grayson Hall
Country: USA
What it is: Monster movie

A skeptical writer and his daughter encounter a race of gargoyles, evil minions of the devil who want to take over the world.

I remember seeing the promos for this one on TV as a kid, and thinking how cool it was that a TV-Movie was going to be full of monsters. Of course, not having any control over the TV in my house, I missed the movie, and it’s only now, almost forty years later that I’ve gotten to see it. I would have loved it without reservations had I seen it back then; the monsters are great, you see them quite a lot, and even the somewhat arty jerky-slow-motion photography they use in the action sequences manages to keep from being annoying. As an adult, I still think the monsters are cool, but I have reservations on the movie as a whole. I found the script, direction and acting all rather weak; the scene where the writer and his daughter meet the desert rat is in particular badly written and awkwardly paced. My guess is that most of the budget on this movie went into the monsters, and the rest of the movie was given short shrift. I think it’s a bit of shame they couldn’t come up with a story that was worthy of the monster costumes. Oddly enough, it’s one of those genre TV-Movies that doesn’t feel like it was designed to launch a TV-Series. Overall, though, the great monster costumes and makeup still make this one fairly enjoyable.

Funeral Home (1980)

FUNERAL HOME (1980)
aka Cries in the Night
Article 3351 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-2-2010
Posting Date: 10-17-2010
Directed by William Fruet
Featuring Kay Hawtrey, Lesleh Donaldson, Barry Morse
Country: Canada
What it is: Secret in the cellar story

A young woman helps her grandmother run a bed and breakfast which used to be a funeral home before her grandfather disappeared. However, more people start disappearing… and who is that person grandmother is secretly talking to in the cellar?

Well, despite the era it was made, it’s not a slasher movie; it’s more of a “house with a sinister secret” type of movie, and there isn’t an emphasis on gore. The movie’s not bad, but it’s no better than adequate. The movie builds its story around a twist that has been used before by a much better and more famous movie, and I’ll give the movie some credit for only borrowing the twist and not the whole structure of its inspiration. However, it fails to come up with a really strong story, either; it merely sets things up for the final twist, and you should be able to figure out what it’s going to be before we get there. The movie is slightly padded to get it up to running length, so certain scenes seem pointless; the sequence near the beginning where the young woman has an encounter with a black cat seems to imply that superstition will play into the story, but nothing comes of it. It’s watchable, but uninspired.