SHIVERS (1975)
aka They Came From Within
Article 5416 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-6-2017
Directed by David Cronenberg
Featuring Paul Hampton, Joe Silver, Lynn Lowry
Country: Canada
What it is: Horror, Cronenberg style

A parasite that is a cross between an aphrodisiac and a venereal disease is loose in an apartment complex. Those infected become violent sex maniacs.

This was Cronenberg’s first full dive into the horror genre, and even this early in the game, his obsession with the horror of bodily changes is on full display. Like many of his other movies, this is not for the faint of heart; it’s bloody, repellent, unnerving, but also fascinating, and in some ways it’s reminiscent of the various zombie movies, with sex in place of cannibalism. I found the first half more interesting than the second half; once it has developed its themes, the movie largely becomes a series of attack scenes, and since it’s one of those movies that doesn’t give you the sense that any of the characters will be spared, it becomes an exercise in waiting for the various shoes to drop. Still, it is an attention-grabbing entry into the genre and shows that Cronenberg would be a force to be reckoned with. His next horror movie, RABID, in some ways feels like an extension of the ideas he developed here. Barbara Steele is also part of the cast.

SOMETHING WICKED THIS WAY COMES (1983)
Article 5413 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-3-2017
Directed by Jack Clayton
Featuring Jason Robards, Jonathan Pryce, Diane Ladd
Country: USA
What it is: Horrific fantasy

An autumn circus comes to a small town and offers its residents a chance to fulfill their deepest wishes… but at a price.

The original Ray Bradbury novel proved to be a pivotal read for me in my early years; it is the novel that drew me into the world of literary science fiction and fantasy and especially the work of Ray Bradbury, so you might imagine I have strong feelings about the work. So it’s also no surprise when a movie version came out, I was definitely drawn into the theater to see it. I loved it then, and to some extent I still love it today, though I now see its flaws. The screenplay is an adaptation by Bradbury himself, and as is often the case with his work, what looks good on the printed page sometimes comes out clumsy when said out loud as dialogue. Furthermore, the movie has a little trouble balancing out the fantasy aspects with the horror aspects; this is particularly noticeable at the climax of the movie. The biggest problem I had back then involved a major difference between the movie and the book; the latter had a sequence involving the witch hunting the children in a hot-air balloon (if my memory is correct), and though I suspected this scene would have been nearly impossible to pull off in the movie, its solution to substitute a spider attack scene was very unsatisfying. However, what I loved about the movie is that it actually managed to capture some of Bradbury’s poetry and flavor visually (such as the sequence where Mr. Dark tosses the announcements of the arrival of the circus out in the street so that the wind will distribute them), and I thought Jonathan Pryce’s performance was wonderful. At any rate, my favorite moment in the movie back then remains my favorite moment now; it’s the scene in the library where Mr. Dark tempts Will’s father with youth by tearing out pages of a book to indicate the passage of time, each page glowing as it flutters off, and it is pure cinematic magic.

SLAUGHTER HIGH (1986)
Article 5412 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-2-2017
Directed by George Dugdale, Mark Ezra, Peter Mackenzie Litten
Featuring Caroline Munro, Simon Scuddamore, Carmine Iannaccone
Country: UK / USA
What it is: What it sounds like

An April Fool’s Day prank causes the mutilation of a high school student. Years later, the perpetrators of the prank find themselves the only ones attending a High School Reunion, and someone begins knocking them off.

It took three directors to make this? It was originally going to be called APRIL FOOL’S DAY, but they changed it when they didn’t want it to be confused with the other slasher film called APRIL FOOL’S DAY. Not that this one is different enough that you won’t confuse it with any number of other slasher films out there. There’s one good jump scare, but that’s about the only thing I liked about this one. Other than that, the most interesting things about are the presence of Caroline Munro (guess who’s going to be the last girl standing?) and that the twist ending wasn’t what I expected (which isn’t to say that it’s a good one). The rest is by the book and business as usual.

THE SENTINEL (1977)
Article 5411 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-1-2017
Directed by Michael Winner
Featuring Chris Sarandon, Cristina Raines, Ava Gardner
Country: USA
What it is: The job interview from hell

A troubled model who once tried to commit suicide decides she’s not quite ready for marriage yet, so instead of staying with her boyfriend, she moves into her own apartment in an old house. The other residents she meets seem very strange, but then she discovers there’s only one other resident, a blind priest on the top floor. Then who did she meet…?

Practically every other write-up gives away a major revelation that doesn’t manifest itself until late in the movie, but it’s hard to fault them; after all, between the title and the ad campaign for this one, the marketing for the movie also gives away that same revelation. I rather wish it hadn’t; once you know the revelation, you can second guess a lot of events that happen in this movie long before the movie gives them away, and that rather ruins the fun a little. A lot of big names and familiar faces pop up, though many in little more than cameos; there’s Burgess Meredith, Ava Gardner, Martin Balsam, John Carradine, Jose Ferrer, Arthur Kennedy, Eli Wallach, and soon-to-be stars Jeff Goldblum and Christopher Walken (who upstages everyone in every scene he’s in though he barely has any lines). There’s some creepy and bizarre moments here, but there’s also a bit of dead space, some plot elements that never coalesce, and an overabundance of unnecessary gore. All in all, it never quite comes together, though many of the ideas are interesting. It’s a nice try, but a misfire.

SALEM’S LOT (1979)
Article 5410 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 3-31-2017
Directed by Tobe Hooper
Featuring David Soul, James Mason, Lance Kerwin
Country: USA
What it is: Stephen King two-part TV-Movie

A writer returns to his home town to write a book about an eerie old house in the town, only to discover that a real evil has moved into the house…

For the record, I just finished watching the complete three hour version of this TV-Movie that ran over two nights when it was first shown. There’s a 107 minute version out there, and I’m still wondering if I might not have been better off watching that one; not to slight the full version, but it’s a bit on the strenuous side to watch in one sitting. Furthermore, I’m not sure that a whole lot of the essence would be gone in a shorter version; there are quite a few subplots and smaller story arcs that could have been removed, though they do help flesh out the longer version. I’ve read the original Stephen King novel, but it’s been quite a while since I’ve done so, but the movie more or less feels rather faithful to the book. The movie ties the “evil place” template with the standard vampire tale, and the movie is a solid, well-acted piece of work. Granted, in comparison to some of Tobe Hooper’s earlier work, this one is pretty tame, but I do like that the interior of the Marston house at least partially recalls the interior of the house in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE. There are lots of familiar faces in this one; outside those listed above, we have Lew Ayres, Fred Willard, Marie Windsor, (not near enough of) Elisha Cook, Jr., and the ever popular Reggie Nalder as the vampire. All in all, it’s a good adaptation of the work, though I suspect that if I wanted to experience the story again, I’d opt for re-reading the King novel.

SING, BABY, SING (1936)
Article 5377 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-21-2017
Directed by Sidney Lanfield
Featuring Alice Faye, Adolphe Menjou, Gregory Ratoff
Country: USA
What it is: Musical comedy / Horror

Poor Joan Warren! Not only is her singing career on the skids because she’s not a trendy “blue blood”, but she also has to preview comedy acts by the Ritz Brothers. However, her agent attempts to resurrect her career by romantically linking her with a vacationing but hard-drinking Hollywood actor.

Where does the horror come in? Well, the movie does feature the Ritz Brothers… and that’s a cheap shot, I’ll admit. It’s not their fault I tend to associate them with the dismal THE GORILLA; in reality, they were out of their element in that movie and they knew it. That’s not the case in this movie; there performance consists of a series of vaudeville song-and-dance routines, and there’s something to admire in the deftness of their comic hoofing, However, as far as comedy goes, I feel they come across as a less-inspired Danny Kaye crossed with Huntz Hall at his muggiest, and that’s not a comfortable place to be. Nevertheless, they are responsible for the fantastic content of the movie; one of their routines takes on the Dr. Jekyll story and also features a version of the Frankenstein monster.

Most of the movie is your typical musical comedy of the time. The best thing about it is Adolphe Menjou’s performance as an actor somewhat inspired by John Barrymore; I’ve seen this actor in many movies, but I’ve never quite seen him cut loose in a comic style like this. The movie also features Ted Healy, and quite frankly, the Three Stooges were better off without him. Alice Faye and Gregory Ratoff do a fine job, and some of the songs are pretty decent. All in all, it’s pretty marginal from a genre perspective, but I’ve seen a lot worse.

THE SIGN OF THE CROSS (1932)
Article 5376 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-20-2017
Directed by Cecil B. DeMille
Featuring Fredric March, Claudette Colbert, Elissa Landi
Country: USA
What it is: Epic sword and sandal

After the burning of Rome, Nero places the blame on the rapidly growing sect of Christians and orders their destruction. However, his highest military official has fallen in love with a Christian woman…

The Walt Lee guide attributes the fantastic content of the movie to the tortures and sadism, and one has to admit they’re fairly shocking. We don’t see the torture of the young boy, but we hear it and we see the after-effects. And some of the spectacles in the arena are pretty gruesome; among other things, we see a violent battle between Amazons and pygmies, men crushed by rampaging elephants, and a bound woman menaced by several crocodiles. Though this doesn’t make it a horror film, it certainly makes it horrific. I was almost expecting some sort of miracle in the final moments of the movie, but the movie refuses, giving the whole thing a sort of integrity that I like. The coliseum/arena sequence is the centerpiece of the motion picture, and it takes up the final third of the movie. The rest is a hodgepodge of court intrigue and sword-and-sandal setpieces; unfortunately, there’s no super-powered Maciste character to come to the rescue. Fredric March and Elissa Landi do all right as the heroes, but it is the villains that steal the show; Claudette Colbert is memorable as the self-serving Empress Poppaea, but it’s Charles Laughton that really shines as the decadent Emperor Nero, a role that seems tailor made for him. There’s a number of other familiar names and faces; you’ll recognize the voice of John Carradine as several different characters, and Angelo Rossitto pops up as one of the pygmies. There’s also Joe Bonomo as a mute torturer and Charley Gemora as… well, you’ll know him.

And speaking of the latter, I did find one thing quite disappointing. If you’re like me, the movie mostly makes you think of a still showing a near-naked woman being threatened by a gorilla. Well, the scene is here… and it lasts about two seconds in total.

A STUDY IN CHOREOGRAPHY FOR CAMERA (1946)
Article 5364 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-5-2017
Directed by Maya Deren
Featuring Talley Beatty
Country: USA
What it is: Avant-garde cinema

A dancer dances in several locations.

Let’s get the fantastic content out of the way first; the fluid editing of the short makes it seem as if the dancer is magically transporting himself to different locations, and my guess is that this illusion is clearly intended. It doesn’t really lend itself to any plot point, because there is no plot; it’s an avant-garde mood piece. However, it is a very good one; it’s quite stylish, and Talley Beatty’s dancing is phenomenal. Granted, this is the sort of thing that can get boring after a few minutes, but the length of this short is only two and a half minutes, and it holds the attention for that length.

THE STONE RIDER (1923)
aka Der steinerne Reiter
Article 5363 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 2-4-2017
Directed by Fritz Wendhausen
Featuring Rudolf Klein-Rogge, Lucie Mannheim, Gustav von Wangenheim
Country: Germany
What it is: Dark fable

A village in the valley is oppressed by a cruel tyrant who brings tragedy to their weddings. When one visit causes the death of the bride, the bride’s sister vows revenge on the tyrant. But when she gets her opportunity…

If there’s one common theme to the three full-length silent features I’ve watched these last three days, it is that of the doomed romance; each story features an ill-starred love affair. This one features a very memorable performance from Rudolf Klein-Rogge as the tyrant, and it’s the perfect role for him. It also features a great performance by Lucie Mannheim as the vengeful sister. Most of the movie only hints at being a fantasy, largely due to the fact that the sets and costumes have a definite expressionistic quality about them; it’s not as thick as those in THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI, but they are noticeable. It does, however, have an unambiguous fantastic twist at the climax of the story, so it’s definitely genre. The most memorable sequence for me was when the tyrant appears on a mountain and casts a huge shadow over the whole village during a wedding celebration. I thought this one was very good, though it does appear to be somewhat obscure.

SANTA’S CHRISTMAS CIRCUS (1966)
Article 5335 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-3-2017
Directed by Frank Wiziarde
Featuring John Bilyeu and Frank Wiziarde
Country: USA
What it is: Christmas movie

Whizzo the clown celebrates Christmas with his children friends and takes them on a magic carpet trip to the North Pole to visit Santa.

Those who hail SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS as the worst Christmas movie ever are probably unaware there’s a whole level of Christmas / children’s movies that make that one look well-crafted and lavishly produced. I’ve seen several of these, but this may be the first one I’ve reviewed. It’s been sitting on my “ones that got away” list with a LOST status like LONDON AFTER MIDNIGHT, but while that one still is, this one has been found. It’s just hard to imagine anyone looking for it.

It features a character called Whizzo the Clown, and I suspect that we’re dealing with a character who gained fame in the same way that horror hosts did – as a local celebrity who probably hosted a kid’s show that ran cartoons. On that level, the character probably worked well enough; I’ve seen worse children’s clowns. But that doesn’t mean that his shtick can maintain a sixty minute movie, especially one with only a wisp of a plot and probably no set script. The first third of the movie consists of the clown and his children friends performing a perfunctory circus. Then he pulls out his atomic time machine and we get to watch footage from window store displays for about fifteen minutes. Then a magic carpet takes them all to the North Pole for a visit to Santa, who shows them toys and talks about the spirit of Christmas. Then they go back to Whizzo’s place and the movie is over. That’s it. It’s a good example of what I call the “non-event”.

It’s not the worst Christmas movie I’ve ever seen. But it may be the worst one I’ve covered for this series; only THE CHRISTMAS MARTIAN really gives it a run for its money, since it’s as annoying as this one is a snoozefest. It’s perhaps best described as an inconsequential waste of time. Still, I can say two good things about it. One is that one of the kids does an impressive backflip at one point. The other is that the dog puppet is used very sparingly.