SUGAR COOKIES (1973)
Article 4087 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-23-2012
Directed by Theodore Gershuny
Featuring George Shannon, Mary Woronov, Lynn Lowry
Country: USA
What it is: Erotic thriller

When a pornographer kills one of his actresses during a session of erotic games, he covers up by having the actresses’s lesbian lover provide him with an alibi. However, the lover then recruits another woman to take the place of the dead actress… but to what end?

Director Theodore Gershuny directed three films, and with this one, I have now covered all three of them. The first, FOR LOVE OR MURDER, came across as a tedious art house flick. The second, SILENT NIGHT, BLOODY NIGHT was a strange little horror film that had some elements of interest. This one is probably the strangest, not to mention the most ambitious, but what do you expect when two of the producers were Oliver Stone and Lloyd Kaufman (the mastermind behind Troma films)? Given this collection of talents, it may be no surprise that the movie is a combination of exploitation and art house flick; it’s full of nudity and sex (and Mary Woronov fans will not be disappointed by this one), but it’s also slow moving and somber, though very well-acted. I’m not sure why the title was chosen for this movie; it tends to make it sound saucier and more light-hearted than it is. As for the story, it’s all right, but every plot blurb I’ve seen from this movie gives away a plot point that is supposed to be a surprise near the end of the movie, and knowing this ahead of time does decrease the satisfaction of watching it somewhat. There are other problems; for example, there’s a subplot involving the pornographer’s ex-wife and overweight son that seems to be from another movie entirely. As for whether the movie is genre or not… well, it claims to be a horror movie, but it really isn’t; the closest it comes to being one is that the pornographer isn’t particularly sane. All in all, I’m not sure how I feel about this one; I admire some touches, dislike others, and ultimately see the movie as more of an odd curiosity than anything else.

SHE-DEVILS ON WHEELS (1968)
Article 4086 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-22-2012
Directed by Herschell Gordon Lewis
Featuring Betty Connell, Nancy Lee Noble, Christie Wagner
Country: USA
What it is: Bikesploitation, HGL style

An all-female gang of bikers wreaks havoc and tussles with an all-male rival gang.

If you were in the mood to lay into a bad movie and wanted an easy target, you needn’t go any further than the work of Herschell Gordon Lewis; his movies usually have bad sound, atrocious acting, bad music, stupid dialogue,etc… it’s like shooting fish in a barrel. It’s almost too easy, which is why sometimes I find myself, instead of focusing in on his shortcomings, taking a look at some of the eccentric touches in his work. In this movie, for example, I find it rather odd that one of the favorite pastimes of the motorcycle gang here is to recite poetry; granted, it’s mostly double-entendre-laden limericks, but it’s still pretty strange. Furthermore, I actually find myself rather charmed by the fake-out ending of the movie; just because you’ve reached the final credits doesn’t mean the movie is over in this case. No, it’s not a horror movie; I suspect its inclusion in at least one genre source is due to Lewis’s reputation as the Godfather of Gore, and some of the violence in this one is pretty bloody. Nevertheless, I can’t help but notice that, despite his penchant for extreme bloodletting, his taste in other exploitation elements is sometimes pretty tame; the orgy sequences here would rate no worse than a PG. And if the theme song of this movie is any indication, then Lewis is no better a song lyricist than he was as a director. At any rate, those familiar with Lewis’s oeuvre won’t be surprised by anything here, but will probably need to know that, this not being one of his horror movies, it’s far less bloody than his more famous work.

SCHIZO (1976)
Article 4084 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-20-2012
Directed by Pete Walker
Featuring Lynne Frederick, John Leyton, Stephanie Beacham
Country: UK
What it is: Psycho thriller

When a figure skater gets married, she finds herself being stalked by a sinister figure from her past. And then the murders start…

Actually, the first half of this movie works pretty well; the acting is solid, the suspense is strong, and the movie’s gruesome reputation keeps you on edge. Once the murders start, however, I found myself dealing with one of the sure signs that there’s a big plot twist up ahead; whenever a movie goes to great lengths to establish a putative killer whose face has been seen constantly, and then keeps the face of the killer hidden during the murder sequences, you know the movie’s not to be taken at face value. Once you light on the truth of the matter, though, the story flaws start becoming apparent, and, despite the graphic nature of some of the murders, the movie starts to get a bit tiresome. The fact that the movie once again confuses schizophrenia with multiple personality certainly doesn’t win it any points, either. In the final analysis, the movie is just okay, but I suspect a shorter running time might have helped this movie quite a bit.

THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE (1975)
Article 4072 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-6-2012
Directed by Peter Collinson
Featuring Jacqueline Bisset, Christopher Plummer, John Phillip Law
Country: UK
What it is: Suspense remake

A serial killer is on the loose knocking off women with handicaps. Is the woman who can’t speak (due to psychological blockage caused by the death of her husband and daughter) the next victim?

The 1946 version of this story is a suspense classic; this one could be used as a poster child for those who argue that they shouldn’t remake classics. It’s got several decent actors trying to do their best, but the script is clumsy and overwritten, and the direction is sodden and dull. It’s the type of movie that, instead of tingling your spine, it just sits on your head till you find yourself wishing that the movie would just go away and leave you alone. This is not a high point in British cinema.

THE SIGN OF FOUR (1983)
TV-Movie
Article 4062 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-24-2012
Directed by Desmond Davis
Featuring Ian Richardson, David Healy, Thorley Walters
Country: UK
What it is: Sherlock Holmes adaptation

When a beautiful woman receives a mysterious and rare diamond with a note that she has been wronged, she hires Sherlock Holmes to help unravel the mystery, which eventually leads to a long history of murder and betrayal.

The biggest mistake this adaptation of the second of Arthur Conan Doyle’s Sherlock Holmes novels makes is apparent right off the bat; rather than revealing the backstory as Holmes unravels the clues, we are given a sizable portion of it in the opening scenes; in other words, the “mystery” portion of this mystery is undercut. Nevertheless, I quite like this movie; the performances are solid, the atmosphere is quite strong, and it’s mostly rather faithful to the original story, with a scene involving a carnival being the primary exception. Also, because of the way it chooses to tell the story, we actual have the horror content upped somewhat, as we see a lot more of the cannibalistic pygmy character than we would otherwise. At any rate, this is a nice change of pace from all of the silent shorts I’ve been watching lately.

SUNNY ITALY (1950)
Article 4057 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-15-2012
Directed by Connie Rasinski
Voice cast unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Mighty Mouse cartoon

Mighty Mouse must save his girlfriend from Oilcan Harry in various Italian locations.

Ten thoughts on SUNNY ITALY:

1) I remember thinking the first time I saw one of the operetta-style Mighty Mouse cartoons that the series finally found its voice. Unfortunately, I’m finding out with this one that the concept (animated serial-style thrills combined with opera warbling) wears thin rather quickly.

2) Granted, some of my reaction may have been affected by the fact that the copy that I watched was the only one on Youtube… and seems to have been enhanced with an unremoveable Spanish voice translation layered over the cartoon. This is annoying and distracting, to say the least.

3) One problem I have with certain superheroes is that there’s no clear delineation of the extent of their powers, and if this cartoon is any indication, Mighty Mouse is one of the great offenders. Please reference the rest of the items on this list.

4) While Oilcan Harry has Mighty Mouse’s girlfriend suspended from the top of the Leaning Tower of Pisa, Mighty Mouse is unable to free her because he’s fighting lions in the Colosseum. But there’s no top on the Colosseum, so why doesn’t he ignore the lions and fly to her rescue.

5) Mighty Mouse has the ability to beat up ten lions, but lacks the power to break out of a plaster statue.

6) Why does Oilcan Harry break the plaster statue surrounding Mighty Mouse (rather easily by hitting it with his cane) when it’s obvious that the latter can’t do anything while he’s encased in it?

7) Why, when he’s not strong enough to break a plaster statue, does Mighty Mouse have the power to close off a volcano with a lasso?

8) Mighty Mouse apparently has the ability to hypnotize and frighten lava. How many times in his life would he find this a useful ability?

9) Why am I spending so much time on the logic errors in a Mighty Mouse cartoon?

10) This cartoon seems particularly heavy on the opera, with a long sequence where the girlfriend sings while being held prisoner on a Venetian gondola. Maybe it’s because this one takes place in Italy…

Yes, this is all pretty nit-picky, but that’s what ran through my mind while watching this. Granted, since the cartoon runs less than six minutes, it was hardly a great burden on my life.

A SAFE PLACE (1971)
Article 4051 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 10-6-2012
Directed by Henry Jaglom
Featuring Tuesday Weld, Orson Welles, Jack Nicholson
Country: USA
What it is: Art film

A woman deals with her two lovers, as well as memories of her encounter with a magician and her having been able to fly.

When movies as singularly personal as this come along, it’s often difficult to discuss the fantastic content, as there doesn’t seem to be an objective reality to use as a reference point. Did the woman really fly? Does she end up flying at the end of the movie? Does the magician really make anything disappear? And, on the movie’s terms, does it even matter whether these questions have answers? It can also be difficult to give them meaningful reviews, especially if the movie remains elusive to the reviewer. Did the filmmaker fail to make himself understood, or is there simply too great a distance between the individual minds? So I’m just going to settle with saying that, even though I can’t point to anything specific about the movie that doesn’t work, I found myself a little bored by the whole affair, even though I do recognize why others might be entranced by it. In some ways, Jaglom’s work reminds me of the work of Fellini, but Fellini can fascinate me consistently, whereas Jaglom can’t. Still, I do have to admire a man who can gather this amount of talent for his first movie; on top of the three performers listed above, the movie also features Firesign Theater’s Phil Proctor.

SKULLDUGGERY (1970)
Article 4044 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 9-29-2012
Directed by Gordon Douglas
Featuring Burt Reynolds, Susan Clark, Roger C. Carmel
Country: USA
What it is: Meditation on humanity

A pair of fortune seekers finagle their way into an anthropological expedition in the hope of using it as a cover in their search for rare minerals. However, the situation becomes complicated when a race of missing links is discovered… and the possibility of their being exploited to serve the purpose of mining the minerals.

This movie has a fairly low rating on IMDB, and in some ways, it deserves it; the direction isn’t particularly strong, the script, as interesting as it in some ways, is muddled in others, and there’s something of a dull, hangdog feel to the proceedings. If it didn’t touch on what I consider a very interesting issue, I wouldn’t find much to recommend here. But the issue of the humanity of the missing links (which impacts on whether they would be considered employees or pack animals by their exploiters, as well as how they should be treated in other crucial ways) is fascinating, and the best part of the movie is in the final third, when one of the fortune seekers claims to have killed one of the missing links in order to force a court of law to decide on the humanity of the species. I’m not surprised that the movie ends as it does, though it is a little too abrupt about getting to the end credits; even though it was dramatically effective to leave certain issues unresolved, there are other issues that did need some sort of resolution. All in all, it’s a mediocre movie with a good idea.

LE SORCIER ARABE (1906)
aka An Arabian Magician
Article 4028 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 9-10-2012
Directed by Segundo de Chomon
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: Standard trick film

An Arabian magician makes women appear and disappear.

What we have here is your typical Melies-style trick film in which a magician performs the usual cinematic tricks. There’s not much to this one, though the hand-drawn coloring adds a touch of pizzazz, and a few of the tricks are done quite smoothly. Otherwise, this is pretty standard issue.