RETURN FROM WITCH MOUNTAIN (1978)
Article 5045 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-10-2016
Directed by John Hough
Featuring Bette Davis, Christopher Lee, Kim Richards
Country: USA
What it is: Science fiction light

The two children from Witch Mountain return to Earth. When the boy saves the life of a man falling from a building, a mad scientist finds out about his abilities and kidnaps him. Can his sister save him before the scientist uses him in a nefarious plot to take over the world?

Apparently, ESCAPE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN was popular enough to warrant a sequel. I felt lukewarm about the original; this one feels like reheated leftovers. My problem is that the premise (the two children have the powers of telekinesis and telepathy and they are sought after by evil people who want to make use of their powers) is too easy and predictable; you know whatever the problem is, the children will handle it with their powers, and they do, again and again and again and again…you get the picture. Furthermore, the use of those powers is put on display so frequently and mechanically that the magic quickly dissipates. The movie compensates a bit by the use of star power, but it doesn’t help a lot. Bette Davis apparently only did the movie so she could make something her grand-children could watch; her character is one-dimensional, and though it might have been fun if she’d taken the opportunity to ham it up a bit, but instead it feels like she’s mostly just earning her paycheck here while being aware the role is beneath her. Christopher Lee comes off a lot better; he’s done this type of role before, and he handles it with his usual skill. Like the previously movie, it feels like a slightly more serious “shopping cart” movie, only this one is sillier than the original. It’s not awful, but it is quite routine.

REPO MAN (1984)
Article 5044 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-9-2016
Directed by Alex Cox
Featuring Harry Dean Stanton, Emilio Estevez, Tracey Walter
Country: USA
What it is: Bizarre punk comedy

In desperate need for money, a young punk takes a job as an apprentice repossession man. He becomes entangled in the hunt for 1964 Chevy Malibu with “something” hidden in the trunk.

I saw this movie many years ago, and all it did then was leave me scratching my head. Watching it this time, I found it charmingly weird and flat-out hilarious at times. It’s something of a punkish “slice of life” comedy (director/writer Alex Cox worked as a repo man at one time) and science fiction conspiracy thriller, and it’s awash with strange running gags (such as the fact that all the products on display in the movie are generic) and odd characters. Estevez is solid as the punk, but Harry Dean Stanton and Tracey Walter are great as the repo man who recruits him and a conspiracy theorist who also works at the agency. Sy Richardson also appears as another repo man, and if you keep your eyes open, Angelique Pettyjohn pops up in a cameo. There’s a couple of other odd musical connections to the movie outside of the punk genre; Jimmy Buffett pops up as a Federal agent, and the movie was executive produced by former Monkee Michael Nesmith.

RE-ANIMATOR (1985)
Article 5043 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-8-2016
Directed by Stuart Gordon
Featuring Jeffrey Combs, Bruce Abbott, Barbara Crampton
Country: USA
What it is: Wild Lovecraft adaptation

A new student to Miskatonic U. discovers a green fluid that can bring the dead back to life… but with messy results.

Whatever else you can say about this over-the-top gore comedy, it seems to have staked out its own notorious place in film history. However, as much as I would like to see more H.P. Lovecraft adapted to the screen, this does seem a far cry from the type of horror I would expect from him, and I suspect he would have been rather appalled by this one, especially with the sex. The gore here is a force to be reckoned with; however, I must admit that I really didn’t laugh much, though there are a number of rather witty cinematic moments. However, I have to admit overall that I was a bit disappointed by this one; I’m not sure what I was hoping to find here, but I never quite found it. My favorite joke – Herbert West figures out a way to keep a decapitated head upright in a tray.

RANA: THE SECRET OF SHADOW LAKE (1981)
aka Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell
Article 5042 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-7-2016
Directed by Bill Rebane
Featuring Paul Callaway, Richard Lange, Glenn Scherer
Country: USA
What it is: Monster on the loose

A man returns to an island he visited in his youth and recounts the story of his encounter with a strange beast who lived in the lake.

I will give the primary title of the movie a bit of credit; it’s actually a bit moody and evocative. However, that secondary title is so silly that I find myself crediting the folks at exploitation-happy Troma for coming up with that one. However, once I saw the directorial credit of Bill Rebane, I got the sense that the movie wasn’t going to live up (or down) to either of these two titles. Sure enough, most of the movie is a talky snoozefest with little to hold the attention. They keep us from getting a clear look at the monster for most of the movie, but I’m not sure why they bothered; when you see it in its full glory, it certainly wasn’t worth the wait. The special effects were by the ironically-named company Spectacular Effects. The only thing that saves this one from being Rebane’s worst movie is that MONSTER A-GO GO is still out there.

THE RAIDERS OF ATLANTIS (1983)
aka I predatori di Atlantide
Article 5041 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 1-6-2016
Directed by Ruggero Deodato
Featuring Christopher Connelly, Gloia Scola, Tony King
Country: Italy / Philippines
What it is: Action smorgasbord

The raising of a downed Russian nuclear sub accidentally causes Atlantis to rise from the sea, and a pair of former Vietnam Vets must do battle with descendants of the Atlanteans which mean to rid the world of its current residents.

So this is what Ruggero Deodato makes when he isn’t working on Italian cannibal films! The tagline reads ” Action Unlike Any This Side of MAD MAX and RAMBO!” The Rambo connection comes from the fact that this is an action film featuring Vietnam veterans, and the Mad Max connection comes from the fact that the Atlantean descendants look like refugees from THE ROAD WARRIOR. When you finally get to Atlantis you’ll know why the title has the word RAIDERS in it as well. The overall rating for this one on IMDB is 4.7, but if you check the distribution of ratings, you’ll find they’re equally spaced all over the board. It’s easy to see why; if you just love nonstop action, you’ll probably love this movie. On the other hand, if you’re allergic to cliches and sheer dumbness, you’ll break out in hives. I am a bit taken with the fact that the story is a big mish-mash of unexpected elements; if it hangs together at all, it’s by the movie’s clear focus on being a big, dumb action flick. Beyond that, I can’t help but note that despite all the bizarre punk-like costumes of the Atlantean descendants, about the only thing they show any talent for is lining themselves up to be mowed down in quick succession. The movie is probably best enjoyed if you just don’t ask any questions.

THE ROOKIE BEAR (1941)
Article 4916 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 9-2-2015
Directed by Rudolf Ising
Voice cast unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Cartoon

A hibernating bear discovers that he is the first one to be drafted into the army.

This cartoon is a comic snapshot of the process of being drafted and inducted into the army, which was no doubt a very topical subject at the time of our entry into World War II. It’s not a great cartoon, but it does have some good moments, and is a fairly amusing curio of its time. The anthropomorphic bear is the main fantastic content, though a few of the sight gags also cross the line into the fantastic. It’s a solid if unspectacular effort.

THE REVENGE OF THE TEENAGE VIXENS FROM OUTER SPACE (1985)
Article 4913 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-30-2015
Directed by Jeff A. Ferrell
Featuring Lisa Schwedop, Howard Scott, Amy Crumpacker
Country: USA
What it is: Alien babes on a budget

Drawn to Earth by a misdelivered teen magazine, several female space aliens seek men for mating, but swear revenge when the men prove disappointing.

I initially mistook this one for a Troma film; between the title and the fact that the opening shot of the movie looks similar to the Troma logo is what threw me off. Nevertheless, the title alone would lead you to believe that this was going to be like a Troma film – intentionally bad tongue-in-cheek horror/sci-fi with a plethora of exploitation elements (read: nudity). Oh, it’s quite bad, but what do you really expect from a movie which reportedly was shot on a budget of $32,000 over a four-year period with a cast of what mostly appears to be rank amateurs. But those looking for the exploitation elements will be sorely disappointed; there’s some near nudity in a couple of scenes, but the only thing that might have kept this one from a PG rating was a little too much cussing. Occasionally, a specific humorous touch will work; for example, I like that the old school has a sign in front of it that says “Old School”. But it’s mostly just dumb and amateurish. Keep your expectations very low.

RED SONJA (1985)
Article 4885 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-29-2013
Directed by Richard Fleischer
Featuring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Brigitte Nielsen, Sandahl Bergman
Country: Netherlands / USA
What it is: Sword and sorcery

A female swordsmaster does battle with an evil queen who has acquired a destructive talisman.

Had the filmmakers been able to acquire the rights to the name, this would have been the third Conan movie; as it is, the Conan substitute is named Kalidor, and Schwarzenegger, despite getting top billing, is consigned to an awkward supporting role which was originally intended to be a mere cameo. As might be expected, there is much sword-clanging going on here, but the action sequences are merely adequate. The story is thread-bare and cliched, and much of the dialogue is written in a rather stiff and florid style that requires a certain aplomb from the actors; sadly, many of them aren’t quite up to the task, and it ends up sounding pretty silly. I also couldn’t help but notice that Sandahl Bergman’s scar make-up isn’t always there; usually, I don’t notice goofs like that, but they made such a big deal of it that you’d expect they would have taken more care. To me, the best thing about the movie was some of elaborate sets; as for the rest, I found it pretty forgettable.

RICHARD III (1911)
Article 4844 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 6-9-2015
Directed by Frank R. Benson
Featuring James Berry, Alfred Brydone, Kathleen Yorke
Country: UK
What it is: Silent Shakespeare

This short recounts the rise of Richard III to power through assassination, and his ultimate fall from power.

As might be expected, there’s no way a twenty-seven minute silent adaptation of a Shakespeare play is going to do the story justice, but this does about as good a job if it as you might hope. In order to follow it, you’ll have to be familiar with the play, but even if you’re not, you’ll get the gist of the story, which is that Richard is killing off everyone who gets in his way to the throne. You get at least a hint of Shakespeare’s language; the title cards feature direct quotes from the dialogue of the play, though it favors useful summary phrases over some of the more famous bits (there’s no lines about discontented winters or kingdom/horse swaps). The acting is very good if you bear in mind that acting styles have changed over the years. This short version even retains the main piece of fantastic content, in which Richard III is haunted by the ghosts of those he has murdered in a dream. This sequence even uses some cinematic special effects, mostly in jump cuts from one ghost to another, making them seem to appear out of nowhere. It’s no substitute for the real thing, of course, but for what it’s trying to do, it does a decent job.

RUMPELSTILZCHEN (1955)
aka Rumpelstiltskin
Article 4807 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-26-2015
Directed by Herbert B. Fredersdorf
Featuring Werner Kruger, Liane Croon, Wilhelm Groothe
Country: West Germany
What it is: Fairy tale

When a miller’s daughter is imprisoned in the castle of the king because the latter is under the belief that she can spin gold out of straw (a lie told by the miller), she is forced to call on the help of magical king of the woods who has the ability… but who will exact a price upon her that she may not be able to pay.

This is another of those German fairy tales made during the fifties that K. Gordon Murray dubbed and brought to children in the United States during the sixties. The translated English dialogue is weak and the dubbed acting is fairly bad, but I hold the original movie at fault for the forced slapstick comedy provided by both the treasurer and the prime minister, characters who serve as both comic relief and the primary villains of the piece, as it is their greed that is really responsible for the events that happen. Still, I found myself diverted from the uneven presentation of the story by speculation on the characters in the story and the ways that their character flaws play on the events in the story. The miller’s tendency to lie, the king’s inability to keep his promise, the daughter’s choice to make a hasty and poorly-thought-out promise (in admittedly, a desperate situation), and the title character’s accepting of a promise that most likely won’t be kept and then offering a way out by virtue of a name-guessing game that he can’t resist singing about all show some pretty bad judgment; yet, they all remain fairly sympathetic characters. The prince comes off relatively clean in this regard; all he has to do is give up hunting the animals in the forest to solve his problems. So, in a sense, it might be said that the movie is a bit of a success; at least it got me to thinking in a different way about elements of a story I’d known for years.