PREHISTORIC WOMEN (1967)
Article #1255 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-21-2004
Posting Date: 1-18-2005
Directed by Michael Carreras
Featuring Martine Beswick, Edina Ronay, Michael Latimer

A jungle guide is captured by white rhino worshippers when he trespasses on their domain, and then finds himself transported back in time to a world where brunettes enslave men and blonde women.

In a word, this is silly. Not that my saying so will change anybody’s mind about this one. After all, it’s full of beautiful women in skimpy costumes, and this is usually enough to entice half the population into wanting to watch it anyway. There’s silly native music and dancing, but you already knew that, didn’t you? Two comments: despite the presence of the word “Prehistoric” in the title, don’t strain your eyes looking for anything resembling a dinosaur. The closest you get is a rather unconvincing rhino. Second comment: this movie has what may be the single strangest method of transportation through time that I have ever encountered; our jungle guide travels through time after stroking the horn on the statue of the white rhinoceros. But then, of course, I’m only assuming it’s travel through time because of the movie title; it certainly doesn’t look like time travel to me. At any rate, the lesson is obvious – Be Careful What You Touch.

THE PHANTOM FROM 10,000 LEAGUES (1956)
Article #1229 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-26-2004
Posting Date: 12-23-2004
Directed by Dan Milner
Featuring Kent Taylor, Cathy Downs, Michael Whalen

A series of murders near the beach are the result of an underwater monster created by radiation.

Title Check: First of all, it’s no phantom. Second, since it can be found just a short ways off of the shore at a fairly shallow depth (and it’s too busy guarding a chunk of uranium to put in much in the way of travel mileage), I don’t know here they get the “10,000 Leagues”, either.

Ten thoughts on this one…

1) The director of this worked in that capacity on one other genre movie. That movie was FROM HELL IT CAME, the killer tree movie. That should give you a little idea what you’re getting into here.

2) Actually, the opening sequence of the monster attack isn’t all that bad; it sets the mood and catches your attention. Of course, it has an advantage that the rest of the movie doesn’t have; nobody’s opened up their mouth to talk yet.

3) This movie has some of the clunkiest dialogue I have ever heard. It’s one of those cases where every line sounds mannered and artificial when actually spoken by a real human being. It takes an especially talented actor to deliver this kind of dialogue with conviction, but I’m afraid none of the cast members have quite that level of expertise.

4) Actually, the monster itself is not bad considering the budget of the movie. It’s certainly not up to the level of the Creature from the Black Lagoon, but it’s better than the monsters from either MONSTER FROM THE OCEAN FLOOR or CREATURE FROM THE HAUNTED SEA. It does not however look anything like the sleek otter-like creature used prominently in the advertising.

5) Our hero is a scientist who has written classic books on the effects of radiation on marine biology. He is working on an undercover investigation of the murders. To cover up his identity, he comes up with a fake name. Unfortunately, he tries to pull this trick on a fellow marine biologist, despite the fact that a) his books are rather well known among marine biologists, and b) one of his books has his photograph emblazoned across the cover of it. Conclusion: for a scientist, he’s none too smart.

6) Now, let’s take a look at the secretary. She’s snoopy. In fact, she’s really snoopy. I’d say she was the snoopiest secretary I’ve ever seen in a movie. Not only that, but when she snoops, she usually gets caught. So how does she act when she gets caught snooping? Why, she acts guilty as hell. Despite all this, her employer the professor (who is usually the one who catches her snooping) keeps her on, though he does vaguely threaten her with a spear gun at one point. Conclusion: this professor isn’t one of the brightest stars in the sky himself.

7) Where did the professor get the spear gun? Why, from his handy dandy spear gun wall display in his main office, all of them loaded and ready for use. If I were the secretary, I’d be pretty worried about this; after all, not only does she get vaguely threatened with a spear gun by her boss, she also gets more explicitly threatened with one of the spear guns by the would-be spy. Maybe somebody should lock up those spear guns…

8) Now let’s take a look at that would-be spy. He’s supposed to find out the secrets the professor is hiding so he can sell them to a foreign country. His brilliant plan to acquire these secrets consists of one and only one strategy; to try to convince the secretary to let him into the professor’s locked laboratory. Far be it from me to advise anyone to take up a life of crime, but if this guy had taken up breaking and entering, and learned how to pick a lock, he just might have opened up his options a bit.

9) The investigators first meet the would-be spy when they hear him moving in the bushes while they’re looking at the body of the fisherman. They find him carrying (you guessed it) a spear gun. He claims that he was going to go out diving, though he is neither wearing a diving outfit nor carrying one. They ask him why he’s going diving so late at night during one of the most brightly lit scenes in the whole movie.

When some more bodies are discovered on the beach, the spy shoots a spear at one of the investigators. Up to this point, the spy really hasn’t done anything illegal; the bodies on the beach are the result of monster attacks. So why does this spy insist on trying to kill the investigators, especially with a weapon that is easily traceable (that board in the professor’s office), that he’s been seen carrying, and that leaves behind ammunition large enough to leave fingerprints? My guess is that he’s so incompetent at trying to get the professor’s secrets that he needs to do something to justify his existence. Conclusion: compared to this guy, the professor and the scientist come across as geniuses.

10) At least one person actually dies from a spear attack in this movie. They are shot at from their right side, and the spear ends up sticking squarely in their back. I didn’t know that spearguns shot with that much of a curve.

Conclusion: This is one of those movies where it’s best not to think too hard about what’s going on.

PSYCHOPATH (1969)
(a.k.a. MISTER ZEHN PROZENT – MIEZUN UND MONETEN)
Article #1200 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-27-2004
Posting Date: 11-24-2004
Directed by Guido Zurli
Featuring George Martin, Ingric Schoeller, Karin Field

A thief whose modus operandi is to rob other thieves during their robbery attempts, and then to return the stolen merchandise to the owners (minus his ten percent) faces off with Scotland Yard while attempting to profit from the theft of a jewel known as the Eye of Allah.

Adventures in moviehunting: According to the source from which I compiled this movie, it’s supposed to be about a psychiatrist who discovers that his girlfriend’s ex-husband is a murderer. Maybe there’s a Klaus Kinski film out there that actually tells such a story, but if there is, it isn’t this one, even if the credits listed in the entry clearly point to this movie. In fact, the movie is badly named; there’s not even a psychopath to be found here, and though the picture on the tape case shows a threatening and glowering face of Klaus Kinski hovering over a bunch of uniformed police and a gun pointed directly at the viewer, in truth, Kinski plays the servant to the main criminal, and merely helps him on occasion. I smell deceptive marketing at work here.

So what is this movie? It’s an Italian super-criminal movie, and a fairly fun one. I’m not sure it really fits the genre; it’s noticeably short on gadgetry, and the only thing I can find that might remotely put it in the realm of science fiction is the alarm system used to guard the Eye of Allah. It’s actually a highly amusing movie; it has a strong sense of humor, an interesting premise (check the above plot description for the criminals modus operandi), and actually name-drops James Bond several times during the proceedings. It’s enjoyable in its own right; why they chose to market it as some sort of psychopath movie is beyond me.

PRINCESS CINDERELLA (1941)
(a.k.a. CENERENTOLA E IL SIGNOR BONAVENTURA)
Article #1198 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-25-2004
Posting Date: 11-22-2004
Directed by Sergio Tofano
Featuring Silvana Jachino, Paolo Stoppa, Mario Pisu

When her evil stepsisters pour wax into her magic slippers so they no longer fit, Cinderella is banished by the King and Queen from the castle where she lives with Prince Charming.

This Italian fairy tale (a sequel to the story of “Cinderella”, though not to any particular cinematic version I know of) was released in 1941, but it didn’t appear in the U.S. untill 1955. This is fairly noticeable; the jokes about the the Atomic Hero Pills is much more likely to have come from that era. It’s a strange little movie, but not without its charms; the gaudy costumes, outrageous makeup (there are lots of fake noses here), and odd concepts makes for a fairly entertaining movie. The weirdest scenes involve a witch (who has a sidecar on her broom) and an ogre (who has to go to the dentist for a new set of false teeth after his original set falls out) who have culinary designs on Cinderella. One interesting detail is that even though the dialogue has been dubbed into English, the songs are left in their original Italian; actually, this ends up working well enough, as the songs are fairly short.

PANIC ON THE AIR (1936)
Article #1172 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-30-2004
Posting Date: 10-27-2004
Directed by D. Ross Lederman
Featuring Lew Ayres, Florence Rice, Benny Baker

While trying to figure out why a ball player failed to play in a recent game, a radio newscaster stumbles upon a curious story which involves the pencilling in of a moustache onto Lincoln’s face on a five dollar bill.

This is a moderately entertaining mystery with a curious starting point that unfolds in an interesting way, and for those who enjoy this sort of thing, this should fill the bill. However, as far as the fantastic aspects go, this is either a red herring or something of a puzzle. There are no touches of horror or fantasy to the story, and if their is any science fiction aspect tied to the radio or laboratory scenes, it is too subtle for me to spot. Actually, the most fantastic aspect of this movie is that the hero’s oriental manservent is named McNulty; I attribute this not to the fact that the movie takes place in some sort of alternate universe, but rather as someone’s idea of a joke.

Oddly enough, several sources I’ve run into describe the plot quite differently; they say it has something to do with a device that knocks radio programs off the air. This would put the movie into science fiction category if such a thing did appear in the movie, but it didn’t. However, I did find out that there is a movie called YOU MAY BE NEXT which had the working title PANIC ON THE AIR, and I wonder if perhaps the two movies were confused. At any rate, my source lists the cast for this movie rather than for that one. I suspect further research is necessary on this one…

THE PRESIDENT VANISHES (1934)
Article #1139 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-27-2004
Posting Date; 9-24-2004
Directed by William A. Wellman
Featuring Edward Arnold, Arthur Byron, Paul Kelly

A conspiracy of munition manufacturers try to force America into taking part in the European war through the use of a fascist group known as the Grey Shirts. Their plan is interrupted when the president of the country vanishes and is believed kidnapped.

This thriller is an interesting example of political science fiction; like MEN MUST FIGHT or THINGS TO COME, it starts out with an outbreak of war that would become a reality just a few years later. It has an excellent cast, with the always interesting Edward Arnold, the unforgettable Charley Grapewin, and the anomalous Andy Devine merely the most noticeable faces of the bunch. It also features some excellent direction by William A. Wellman. However, the story iself has some real problems; it’s pretty far-fetched, alternately too cynical and too naive, and this is especially apparent when compared with the events that transpired when war really broke out a few years later. It also has too many characters that clutter the storyline. I also found the revelations about the president’s disppearance completely unsurprising; I guessed what the truth of the matter was right off the bat. Other observations: I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Arthur Byron and Janet Beecher possessed a certain resemblance to Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt. You may also want to keep your eyes open for an early performance by Rosalind Russell. I highly recommend the movie for its curio value, but you’re apt to either love or hate the movie depending on your political beliefs.

PERILS OF THE DARKEST JUNGLE (1944)
(Serial)
(a.k.a. THE TIGER WOMAN)
Article #1115 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-3-2004
Posting Date: 8-31-2004
Directed by Spencer Gordon Bennet and Wallace Grissell
Featuring Allan Lane, Linda Stirling, Duncan Renaldo

Criminals perform acts of sabotage on an oil company which is already having trouble with hostile natives.

Here is a fun game to play with this movie; try to figure out when and where it’s taking place.

Let’s take a look at the evidence.

Time: Obviously the present. The motor vehicles and the machine guns give it away.

Place is a little more difficult.

1) The movie was originally called THE TIGER WOMAN. Tigers being native to India, one might think that that is the location of the action. Unfortunately, when you see the Tiger Woman, she is actually wearing the skins of a leopard rather than a tiger. Also, there are no natives of India to be found.

2) The other title is PERILS OF THE DARKEST JUNGLE. This implies a jungle setting, so you might think from this that it takes place in Africa. However, the tribe led by the Tiger Woman looks singularly un-African; in fact, they look more like American Indians than anything else. Furthermore, the “jungle” looks fairly sparse; in fact, there are probably more trees in my neck of the woods, and I live in Nebraska. Maybe they should have called it PERILS OF THE DARKEST PRAIRIE?

3) Does it take place in the United States? Well, since the movie takes place in the present (which is to say, 1944, the year the serial was made), and since there were not a lot of dangerous tribes of Indians at this time in history, I would say this is unlikely. Furthermore, the Indians in question worship in a great stone temple that is singularly unlike anything built by the Indians of this region. Also, the last episode of the serial has someone talking about returning to the United States.

4) Maybe it takes place in Mexico, or some place in Central or South America. This may well be the case; after all, they do have a character named Jose (Duncan “The Cisco Kid” Renaldo), and the temple looks more the work of the South American Indians rather than the North American ones. However, since all the “jungle” action seems to take place just five minutes away from a town named “Belleville” (a town name which sounds distinctly un-Mexican) which is mostly populated by English-speaking Americans, I draw a blank here as well.

Conclusion: It takes place in that fantasy-land that exists only in the mind of the makers of Hollywood serials and B-westerns.

All right, I’ve had my fun with the movie, so I’ll lay off of it and admit that this serial is very good indeed. It moves along at a nice clip, it’s always entertaining, and the fight scenes are well-choreographed. The Tiger Woman herself proves to be pretty feisty and just doesn’t stand around waiting to be captured by the men; she’s in there fighting with them. The body count is surprisingly high in this one; lots of characters get killed on both sides of the fence, and I found myself a little bit amused at times when the law (which acts only passively on the situations that develop) actually holds someone for murder. Of course, the character is released again once it becomes convenient for the plot. I also had to laugh a little at how many times the bad guys end up shooting their own men in this one; good thugs must be hard to find.

Nonetheless, this is perhaps one of the most entertaining serials I’ve seen to date, and is safely nestled in my top ten list for the form.

PHANTOM RAIDERS (1940)
Article #1112 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-31-2004
Posting Date: 8-28-2004
Directed by Jacques Tourneur
Featuring Walter Pidgeon, Donald Meek, Joseph Schildkraut

Nick Carter is hired to investigate a series of mysterious ship explosions that are tied to an insurance racket.

The character of Nick Carter has had a long literary heritage, but he’s never really taken off on the silver screen. This movie was part of a short-lived series featuring Walter Pidgeon as Carter, and this is the only one I’ve seen of the bunch so far. If this one is representative, then it was an energetic, fun and witty series, with Donald Meek stealing the movie as Carter’s strange partner, Mr. ‘Beeswax’ Bartholomew, who not only goes out of his way to make sure that Carter takes the case, but helps him in the oddest of ways throughout the movie. There is a zany humor that runs through this movie, including a woman who knows no English but constantly repeats English phrases that she’s learned from sailors and a well-meaning but rather dim bodyguard (who else but Nat Pendleton) who has to be sent out for walks by the villain to keep him from knowing about his schemes. It’s light but entertaining, and the scene in which Carter uses ‘Beeswax’ in a diversionary tactic to get the villain out of the way so he can search his office is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a movie like this. The movie also features Cecil Kellaway and Dwight Frye as a hood sent out to kill Carter. The fantastic content consists of a device that can explode bombs from a distance.

THE POWER OF THE WHISTLER (1945)
Article #1106 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Day: 3-25-2004
Posting Day: 8-22-2004
Directed by Lew Landers
Featuring Richard Dix, Janis Carter, Jeff Donnell

When a woman reads the fortune of a stranger and sees death in his future, she tries to warn him but discovers that due to a head injury, he has lost his memory. She then tries to aid him in recovering his memory and discovering his identity.

This is the first I’ve seen of a movie series based on a radio series about the Whistler, who is not actually a character in the action but an all-knowing narrator. I’d heard about the series and was looking forward to seeing some of them, and I have to say I wasn’t disappointed. This movie starts with an intriguing situation which gets positively bizarre as they follow up clues (the contents of the man’s pockets) that lead to blind alleys and strange coincidences, and things get steadily more ominous as the investigation continues. Clues include a prescription written by a doctor who has been dead for fifty years, a birthday cake delivered to the warden of an asylum, and flowers delivered to a showgirl. Scenes of a girl crying over a damaged doll, and the discovery of a dead bird and a dead squirrel all add to the unease as you find yourself unraveling the truth as the characters do. The only problem I had was that the actual narration from the Whistler was a little intrusive and annoying at times, though the opening shots of the main character being followed by a shadow that is not his are suitably eerie. This entry is well worth investigating for anyone curious about the series.