PSYCHOMANIA (1971)
Article #1774 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-22-2006
Posting Date: 6-21-2006
Directed by Don Sharp
Featuring Nicky Henson, Beryl Reid, George Sanders

A young member of a motorcycle gang discovers the secret of eternal life and invincibility, and kills himself with the intent of rising from the dead. He does so, and convinces his fellow motorcyclists to do likeways. They then go on a rampage.

The opening credits of this movie roll while we see slow motion images of the motorcyclists riding through a grassy area populated with large stones. This sequence is incredibly eerie. The rest of the movie doesn’t live up to it, but that doesn’t make the movie a waste of time. The sheer strangeness of the story makes it somewhat watchable, as do the presence of Beryl Reid and George Sanders (in one of his last movie roles before he committed suicide). For a movie that features a motorcycle gang going on a violent homicidal rampage, it’s surprisingly subdued and bloodless. In fact, much of it is played as comedy, especially the sequences where the motorcycle gang members commit suicide. Somehow, it all has to do with deals with the devil, frogs, and a strange mirror locked in a room in a mansion. There are some clever scenes; in particular, I like the scene where the police set a trap for the cyclists, in which the set-up and final results are told by a roving camera that pans across the room in such a way that you get to see none of the middle action. It doesn’t quite all hold up, but it made for interesting viewing. Doctor Who fans should keep their eyes peeled for John (Sergeant Benton) Levene as a constable.

PLANET OF THE APES (1968)
Article #1773 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-21-2006
Posting Date: 6-20-2006
Directed by Franklin J. Schaffner
Featuring Charlton Heston, Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter

When several astronauts crash-land on a planet, they find themselves in a world where apes are the dominant species.

Though I like the whole “Planet of the Apes” movie cycle, when it comes right down to it, this is the only one that really matters. It is, at heart, a satire on the faith vs. science controversy that surrounds evolution, but it drives its points home by reversing the species and putting an intelligent man in the position of the lower animal on the scale, and, as a result, also becomes about the inhuman treatment of animals. The acting is fine from all concerned, the Jerry Goldsmith score (which occasionally even mimics the sound of simians) is excellent, and the ape makeup is outstanding; they would cheapen the process in the later films of the series, and it showed. Still, there are a few problems. I’ve never quite reconciled the fact that the apes are experimenting with brain surgery and have high-powered guns while living in what seems to be a relatively primitive environment (horse, stone buildings) that would seem to contradict their ability to manufacture such items (the test footage with Edward G. Robinson indicates that the original conceptions were somewhat different), and the sense of humor is forced, in particular the “See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Speak No Evil” gag feels contrived (though it was nice to finally see the whole thing in widescreen). Still, the movie has earned its classic status and still holds up very well today. And, even if you already know the ending (and who doesn’t?), it’s still a great one.

PHARAOH’S CURSE (1957)
Article #1772 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-20-2006
Posting Date: 6-19-2006
Directed by Lee Sholem
Featuring Mark Dana, Diane Brewster, Ziva Rodann

An archaelogical expedition attempts to find the tomb of a pharaoh, but the members begin dying at the hands of a blood-sucking mummy.

I saw this on my local Creature Feature when I was a kid, and for years, all I could remember besides the title was the scene where the mummy’s arm is pulled off. Several years ago I watched it again. Afterwards, all I could remember was (once again) the scene where the mummy’s arm was pulled off. I have a funny feeling that in a few weeks, all I’ll remember from this third viewing will have something to with a mummy’s arm.

You know, in some ways, I admire this movie; it does try to do a few new things with the mummy concept. The makeup is also fairly good, and a couple of the attack scenes are well done. However, the direction is plodding, the story lacks any forward momentum, the plot is muddled, and the ending is severely anti-clmactic. As a result, I can’t really recommend this one, unless you really have a hankering to see a scene in which a mummy’s arm is pulled off.

***NOTE*** I have received clarification from several sources that the mummy in this movie isn’t really a mummy, but a modern man who has become a mummy-like creature. Feel free to substitute the phrase “mummy-like creature who really isn’t a mummy” where ever appropriate in the above write-up.

THE PHANTOM PLANET (1961)
Article #1770 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-18-2006
Posting Date: 6-17-2006
Directed by William Marshall
Featuring Dean Fredericks, Coleen Gray, Anthony Dexter

Two astronauts embark on a mission to discover the secret behind a phantom planet that appears out of nowhere and destroys rockets. One crash-lands on the planet, and discovers a civilization of tiny people.

This is one strange movie. There are moments where it is engagingly surreal; the scene where the astronaut first encounters the little people is bizarre but quite fascinating. I also think the movie does a very nice job with the special effects for what must have been a very low budget. The plot is a bit of a mess, though, and is at times painfully contrived, especially with the two love triangles. The pacing is truly horrible as well, with long dull stretches of uninteresting talk, some of which sounds oddly Ed Woodian at times. The cast has some interesting names in it, though, with former silent star Francis X. Bushman appearing as the patriarch of the planet and Richard Kiel as a strange-looking dog-faced alien. Director William Marshall was formerly a singer for the Fred Waring Orchestra, and his son Mike Marshall appears in the movie.

PETER PAN (1953)
Article #1761 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-9-2006
Posting Date: 6-8-2006
Directed by Clyde Geronimi, Wilfred Jackson, Hamilton Luske
Featuring the voices of Bobby Driscoll, Kathryn Beaumont, Hans Conried

Peter Pan whisks away three children from their London home to the world of Neverland.

If I were to choose what differentiates Disney’s “great” animated features from the ones they did that are merely “good”, I would say that it was the sense of drama that pervades the great ones; they weren’t just exercises in humor and whimsicality, but had a way of touching the emotions that transcended the fact that you were only watching animated characters. By this criteria, PETER PAN belongs to the pantheon of merely good; it not only fails to add a sense of drama to the proceedings, but it doesn’t even aspire to do so, a fact that is underscored by the decision to treat Captain Hook as primarily a comic villain. Still, when Disney was good, they were very good, and there are some real pleasures among the characters here. In particular, the character of Tinkerbell steals the show; with nary a line of dialogue, she manages to project a variety of intriguing emotions, from her jealousy at the presence of Wendy to concern about the state of her figure. Furthermore, if you are going to have a comic villain, you couldn’t do any better than to go with Hans Conried, who would go on to provide the voice for the most famous comic villain of all, Snidely Whiplash. The sequences with the canine nursemaid Nana are also quite fun. And there is something truly magical about the flying pirate ship in the final scenes of the movie.

PASSPORT TO DESTINY (1944)
(a.k.a. PASSPORT TO ADVENTURE)
Article #1743 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-22-2005
Posting Date: 5-21-2006
Directed by Ray McCarey
Featuring Elsa Lanchester, Gordon Oliver, Lenore Aubert

When a charwoman finds the charm that her late husband had claimed made him impervious to death, she decides to use her protective power to help her in an attempt to go to Berlin and give Hitler what for.

I have to admit that I was so charmed and amused by the premise of this movie that I looked forward to seeing it. And sure enough, the movie is indeed charming and amusing; at least, it is for the length of time that it plays its story for silly comedy. Unfortunately, but not unexpectedly, the movie starts to take itself seriously at the half-way mark, and, given the time, I don’t blame them; after all, the Third Reich really wasn’t a laughing matter. But it does become a thoroughly ordinary war-time propaganda piece at that point. Still, I always enjoy watching Elsa Lanchester at work, and the acting is fine throughout.

THE PHYNX (1970)
Article #1693 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-2-2005
Posting Date: 4-1-2006
Directed by Lee H. Katzin
Featuring Michael A. Miller, Ray Chippeway, Dennis Larden

When the army can’t rescue several great leaders (George Jessel, Johnny Weissmuller, Butterfly McQueen, etc) that have been kidnapped and are being held hostage in Albania (the army can’t get past this big tank guarding the gates), they consult a computer called MOTHA which tells them to form a rock group which will then be invited to Albania.

If the title of this one has you scratching your head, wait till you see the movie. Which is not to say that the movie is required viewing; this is not a recommendation by any means. It’s merely that the movie is jaw-droppingly weird. It starts out hit-or-miss, but then evens out to a certain consistency; unfortunately, by consistency, I mean it consistently misses. Since it’s at least partially a parody of the super-spy genre, the fantastic elements consist of occasional gadgets; the computer MOTHA is one of them, X-Ray glasses that allow our heroes to see through clothing is another one. Still, the movie’s main source of interest is the bewildering array of guest stars, most of which are playing themselves as kidnap victims. Just a smattering of ones not listed above – Leo Gorcey, Huntz Hall, Colonel Sanders, Dick Clark, Andy Devine, Jay Silverheels (as Tonto, or course), Trini Lopez, Joe Louis, Edgar Bergen and Charlie McCarthy – there are more, but this gives you an idea of how strange it is. The music by Lieber and Stoller isn’t bad (after all, they were legitimate pioneers of rock and roll), but it was a bit dated at the time this movie was made. So there’s no doubt that the movie has a strong curiosity value. Now if only it were funny as well…

THE PSYCHIC (1968)
Article #1679 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-19-2005
Posting Date: 3-18-2006
Directed by James F. Hurley
Featuring Dick Genola, Robin Guest, Carol Saenz

A man develops psychic abilities after he injures himself falling from a ladder.

James F. Hurley was the writer/producer of Herschell Gordon Lewis’s SOMETHING WEIRD. According to the blurb on the back of my copy of this movie, he was less than thrilled with the way Lewis handled his story, and decided to direct this one himself, hiring Lewis as a cinematographer only. One can see the movie attempting to be a serious drama, but with most of the acting on the same level as that of a movie by Lewis himself, ludicrous dialogue and bad sound, the movie was doomed. Furthermore, by trying to make a serious drama in an exploitation filmmaking environment, he found it impossible to sell the movie until some softcore porn footage was added. The movie was even retitled COPENHAGEN’S PSYCHIC LOVERS despite the fact that it doesn’t take place in Copenhagen. I suspect this title was used to make you associate the movie with some of the sexy movies coming from Scandinavia at the time. Needless to say, the result is an awkward mess, but, like Ed Wood’s GLEN OR GLENDA, you can see something more substantial trying to glimmer through. Still, the oddest thing I found about the movie is that the child actors are fairly good, which I found rather strange, since he seemed unable to coax decent performances from the adults. This one is definitely an oddity.

PLAYGIRL KILLER (1968)
(a.k.a. DECOY FOR TERROR)
Article #1666 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-6-2005
Posting Date: 3-5-2006
Directed by Erick Santamaria
Featuring William Kerwin, Jean Christopher, Andree Champagne

When an artist becomes frustrated with his models because they move, he kills them.

In most movies about psycho killer artists, there is usually some sort of aesthetic reason for the artist to kill his victims, such as he needs their dead bodies to flesh out his sculptures (BUCKET OF BLOOD) or blood is the only thing that has the right color of red for the painting (COLOR ME BLOOD RED). The fact that the psycho killer artist in this movie has such a mundane reason for his acts of murder is inadvertantly hilarious, and this is merely augmented by the fact that the artist’s most common lines are so baldly blunt about it (“Don’t move! Don’t move!” and “They ALWAYS move!” right before killing them). Still, there is an aesthetic underpinning to it all; once they’re dead, they stop moving, and if he uses the freezer, he can keep them in frozen in the position he needs them posed. Had they played this one for a comedy, they would have been on the right track, but alas…

As for the movie as a whole, I took the presence of Herschell Gordon Lewis regular William Kerwin as a sign that the technical level of competence was going to be singularly low, but the movie actually has more of a professional look to it then many of Lewis’s movies. Of course, that doesn’t necessarily mean that the movie is good. The problem is that the movie is filled with so much dead space and pointless subplots that you’re actually better off watching the trailer; it takes less time and catches the essence of the movie. The only other reasons to bother with the whole movie are if you either a) feel that having footage of several women in their bikinis or in their underwear automatically makes the movie worth watching, or b) you’re interested in the career of Neil Sedaka. For those of the latter category, Neil plays the boyfriend of the sister of the woman who hires the artist as a handyman (this is all part of one of those subplots that goes nowhere in the movie). His performance is pretty weak, but the script really doesn’t give him anything more to do than to sing a song, gawk at his girlfriend’s sister, and rub tanning oil on her back. And for those wondering why his musical career had floundered (before a revival in the mid seventies), consider that his song here (a cute dance number called “Waterbug”) must have been hopelessly out-of-date at a time when psychedelic music was all the rage.

THE PROFESSOR (1958)
Article #1642 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-12-2005
Posting Date: 2-9-2006
Directed by Tom McCain
Featuring Irene Barr, John S. Copeland, Doug Hobart

A scientist experiments with suspended animation while his daughter has an affair with a reporter, commies try to steal his secrets, and a werewolf roams the neighborhood.

This short was made in 1958 but not released until Greg Luce unleashed it to the public in 1988. It features a professor who is not from Mars, a geeky lab assistant, his beautiful daughter and her reporter boyfriend (who almost move while dancing), a bunny named Oliver, a neatly dressed werewolf and Russian communist spies with French accents who meet in the sports section of a local library. Got that? It also features howlingly bad dialogue, howlingly bad acting, and howlingly bad howling (from the werewolf). So how do all of these diverse elements combine into a coherent whole? Hint: it’s a trick question. Twenty-three minutes of jaw-dropping insanity. Don’t worry – it all has a point…and I’ll tell you what it is when I figure it out. The only familiar name in this mess is that of Doug Hobart as the werewolf, who would go on to play other monsters in two William Grefe films (STING OF DEATH and DEATH CURSE OF TARTU) and who designed the awful silly-putty makeup in SCREAM, BABY, SCREAM.