MISSION MARS (1968)
Article 3298 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-9-2010
Posting Date: 8-25-2010
Directed by Nicholas Webster
Featuring Darren McGavin, Nick Adams, George De Vries
Country: USA
What it is: Old-fashioned science fiction movie.

Astronauts go to Mars. Will they encounter Martians? Will they come back alive?

Director Nicholas Webster has had a little experience with science fiction previous to this one; he gave us SANTA CLAUS CONQUERS THE MARTIANS. If that doesn’t sound encouraging, that’s because it isn’t. He has a bigger budget here, which results in slightly better special effects and a certain degree of star power, but it doesn’t help much. It’s sincere, but dull; nothing much happens until the astronauts get to Mars (which is a little more than halfway through the movie), and nothing is done to keep the first half of the movie from turning into a major snoozefest. The encounters with the strange Martians perk things up a little, but not enough to hide the fact that the movie has no real surprises in store for us. The story is by Audrey Wisberg, who also gave us some of the weaker science fiction movies of the fifties with THE NEANDERTHAL MAN, PORT SINISTER and CAPTIVE WOMEN after a relative high point of THE MAN FROM PLANET X; this movie is a lot closer to his low points.

THE MONSTER OF HIGHGATE PONDS (1961)
Article 3284 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-21-2010
Posting Date: 8-11-2010
Directed by Alberto Cavalcanti
Featuring Roy Vicente, Ronald Howard, Rachel Clay
Country: UK
What it is: Children’s monster movie

Three children raise a monster hatched from an egg.

This needs to be said, so let’s just get it out of the way; this movie is lame. It’s also sincere, harmless, unpretentious, short, and uses some stop motion animation during several short sequences. And, as a kid who grew up loving monsters, I find it hard to dislike any movie about children having a chance to raise a monster, no matter how lame it is. So, rather than condemning it for not being better than it is, I’ll let it go on behalf of its simple low-budget charm. I just wish the comic bits were funnier.

MY BLOODY VALENTINE (1981)
Article 3265 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-28-2010
Posting Date: 7-23-2010
Directed by George Mihalka
Featuring Paul Kelman, Lori Hallier, Neil Affleck
Country: Canada
What it is: Slasher pic

Twenty years ago, two miners left their posts to attend a Valentine’s day party, and their absence resulted in a mine accident that killed several men. The only survivor ends up killing the two miners, and swears that if the town ever holds another Valentine’s Day party, he will return and begin killing again. Now, twenty years later, another Valentine’s Day Party is being planned…

Slasher movies are rather formulaic. But one thing I’ve noticed about the ones I’ve seen lately is that those that try to vary the formula too much tend to fall flat. This one sticks to the formula, and it’s one of the better ones I’ve seen recently. It has its problems, of course; occasionally, characters act suspiciously for no other reason than to throw suspicion on themselves, some of the characters verge on the annoying, and the set-up for a sequel (that never came) is one of the dumber moments in the movie. However, it does quite a number of things right. There’s something suitably scary about a killer dressed in a gas-mask and wielding a pickaxe. Setting the last half of the movie in a mine is also quite effective. The movie is also well-paced; it distributes the murders throughout the movie, and the sequences in between are interesting enough to hold your attention. The acting is solid, and the characters are developed to just the right extent for this sort of movie. Many of the scenes are dark, but there’s enough lighting to keep us from getting too confused to follow the action. Best of all, the attack scenes are efficient and well-staged; there’s not a moment here where I find myself impatiently waiting for a murder to happen while the director protracts a scene in a mistaken attempt to build suspense. In some ways, these are minor pluses, but in a movie like this, they make the difference between a movie you enjoy and one that bores you. I enjoyed this one.

THE MECHANICAL MAN (1932)
Cartoon
Article 3242 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-5-2010
Posting Date: 6-30-2010
Directed by Walter Lantz and William Nolan
Voice cast unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Animated robots and skeletons movie

A mad scientist has created a robot, but its pugnacious nature convinces the scientist that it needs a human heart. He decides to kidnap Oswald the Rabbit’s girlfriend for the heart. Can Oswald save her?

It gets points for trying. This surreal cartoon throws out a nonstop barrage of strange imagery and gags so steadily that it’s hard to take it all in in one sitting. The problem is that it just isn’t funny; the gags are unfocused and arbitrary, and though I watch the cartoon with a certain amount of curiosity, I’m never once compelled to laugh. It reminded me that the very best cartoons, as wild as they might be, were usually grounded with a strong center in some regard (a theme or a plot that held it together), but that’s what this one lacks. Ultimately, it’s just mildly interesting.

MAN IN THE MOON (1960)
Article 3240 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 5-3-2010
Posting Date: 6-28-2010
Directed by Basil Dearden
Featuring Kenneth More, Shirley Anne Field, Michael Hordern
Country: UK
What it is: British comedy

A man whose happy-go-lucky attitude makes him immune to diseases and stress is discovered by a team of scientists intent on sending a man to the moon. However, complications arise when a huge reward is offered to the first man in the moon, and the competing astronauts begin to resent the new man…

This is an amusing, amiable, and somewhat aimless comedy about the British space effort. Actually, I think it’s most amusing at the beginning, when we discover our hero is employed by an institute studying the common cold; the methods they use to try to get their subjects to catch colds are fairly funny. Most of the middle of the movie involves gags about the various methods of training the astronauts; this section is a little disappointing. The actual trip to the moon doesn’t come until the end of the movie, and I won’t say what happens except to warn those hoping for some more pronounced science fiction content will be disappointed. Still, the acting is strong, with Kenneth More very good as the immune man. I initially didn’t recognize Charles Gray as competing astronaut Leo, largely because I’ve never seen him without grey hair before. All in all, the movie is likable enough, but it’s largely content to just wend its way through a series of comic scenarios without any real point to it all.

MARY, MARY, BLOODY MARY (1975)
Article 3231 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 4-24-2010
Posting Date: 6-19-2010
Directed by Juan Lopez Moctezuma
Featuring Cristina Ferrare, David Young, and John Carradine
Country: Mexico / USA
What it is: Non-traditional vampire tale

A successful female artist is also a vampire; she drugs her victims, cuts their throats with a knife, and drinks their blood. The police follow the trail of murders and suspect the artist’s boyfriend. Meanwhile, an unknown person who also commits the same type of murders is stalking the artist.

Those drawn to this movie by the third word in the title will probably be satisfied by the blood-drenched finale to the movie, though the first half will probably be a bit of a drag. Those drawn to it by the presence of John Carradine need to know that he left partway through the production and was replaced by a double for the remaining scenes; however, since most of his character’s scenes are action sequences of one sort or another that would have been a big strain on a man pushing 70, I think we would have seen a lot of the double even if he’d stayed on board. At any rate, his appearance is little more than a cameo. Those hoping for a satisfying explanation of the non-traditional vampirism here (they don’t sprout fangs, they aren’t afraid of sunlight, they don’t have to be killed in a special way, etc.) will not get one. Those hoping for some sort of intelligence on the part of the police will be appalled. Those expecting characters to act sensibly should feel free to walk away from this one any time they want to. Those who like zoom shots and bizarre editing will be happy enough. Me, I like a few of the characters, but overall, this one just didn’t trip my trigger. I do like the surreal paintings, though.

MICKEY’S MECHANICAL MAN (1933)
Animated cartoon
Article 3180 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-27-2010
Posting Date: 4-29-2010
Director Unknown
Featuring the voices of Walt Disney and Marcellite Garner
Country: USA
What it is: Animated robot boxer short

Mickey is training a robot to battle a gorilla in the boxing ring. Complications ensue when he discovers that Minnie’s car horn drives the robot bonkers.

From this cartoon as well as THE ROBOT, I’ve come to the conclusion that boxing robots have been around (as an idea) for ages. As usual, this one is very well animated, but you’ll find the story utterly predictable; once you see how the robot reacts to Minnie’s car horn, you’ll know exactly how this short will play out. Still, how often do you get to see robots battling gorillas? Okay, there’s KING KONG ESCAPES, but it’s admittedly a rare notion.

THE MYSTERIOUS ISLAND (1905)
aka L’ile de Calypso: Ulysse et le geant Polypheme, Ulysses and Giant Polyphemus
Article 3169 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-16-2010
Posting Date: 4-18-2010
Directed by Georges Melies
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: Mini Homeric epic

Ulysses returns to the island of Calypso; there he encounters the cyclops.

The deceptive English title makes it sound like it’s another Verne adaptation, but such is not the case. It’s something of a sequel to “The Odyssey”, with Ulysses seeking Calypso and doing battle with Polyphemus, all in under four minutes. The special effects are rather fun; I like the moving eye in the cyclops’s forehead.

Tomorrow we take a small break from the Melies-a-thon.

MARGUERITE DE LA NUIT (1955)
aka Marguerite of the Night
Article 3136 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 1-6-2010
Posting Date: 3-15-2010
Directed by Claude Autant-Lara
Featuring Michele Morgan, Yves Montand, Jean Debucourt
Country: Italy/France
What it is: Updated Faust story

An old doctor sells his soul to the devil to possess the beautiful Marguerite, but finds his joy may be short-lived…

I finally got a chance to watch this movie, and, even though my copy is in unsubtitled French, I found it quite enjoyable. It helped, of course, to have a certain familiarity with the Faust story to begin with, but it helps that there are some excellent performances here from Michele Morgan and Yves Montand (I’ve come to discover that, even in a language you don’t understand, good acting shines through) and from some stunning set design and excellent use of color. In some ways, it looks like a Douglas Sirk movie with touches of THE CABINET OF DR. CALIGARI around the edges. The sets look artificial, but this is intentional, and I think that the opening scene in which we watch the final scene of an opera about Faust hints that the movie itself is no less staged than the opera. The first thirty minutes work best, as I love the visual touches and tricks, such as the cigarette that won’t go out, the shadow of the hand, and the bright red entrance of the nightclub which makes it look like a descent into hell. Things get a big draggy in the middle, and it took a while for me to pick up from the visual clues just where the story was going, but I eventually figured it out. Granted, it would have been better had I had English subtitles to help, but as far as watching movies in foreign languages go, I found this was one of the easier ones to follow.

THE MAN CALLED FLINTSTONE (1966)
Article 3104 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-22-1009
Posting Date: 2-12-2010
Directed by Joseph Barbera and William Hanna
Featuring the voices of Alan Reed, Mel Blanc, Jean Vander Pyl
Country: USA
What it is: Prehistoric Animated TV show converted to feature film as a James Bond parody

Due to his resemblance to a spy called Rock Slag, Fred Flintstone is hired by the government to help them capture a super-criminal known as the Green Ghost.

At the outset, I think it’s necessary to establish how I feel about the “The Flintstones” to begin with. Though I watched it as a kid, it never really became a favorite; I watched it because it was a cartoon and it was on. In retrospect, about the only element I remember fondly was the creative ways they would come up with stone-age appliances (baby elephant vacuum cleaner, anyone?). So, the concept of a full-length feature version of the series doesn’t really excite me, and the added aspect of a James Bond parody doesn’t seem clever as much as obvious.

Having now seen the movie, I can report that the movie is pretty much just what I thought it would be; a rehash of the usual antics of the series with a contrived spy storyline. On the plus side, the extra money helped them jazz up the animation, if only slightly. For the most part, it’s watchable but uninspired. My biggest complaint is the songs. To begin with, I never quite understood why those who made children’s animated features felt it necessary to always throw in songs (the TV show didn’t bother adding them). The best things about the songs is it occasionally inspired the animators to show more creativity than they did in the more predictable sections of the movie, but the songs themselves are very poor and very unnecessary; every one brings the plot (such as it is) to a screeching halt.

In the final analysis, this movie is for fans of the show; if you liked the show, you’ll like the movie just fine. The rest of us can pass.