HIMMELSKIBET (1918)
aka A TRIP TO MARS, THE AIRSHIP
Article 2107 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-22-2006
Posting Date: 5-20-2007
Directed by Holger-Madsen
Featuring Nils Asther, Lilly Jacobson, Nicolai Neiiendam

A pilot dreams of flying to Mars, and with the help of a professor, manages to build an airship capable of taking them to that planet. He gathers together a crew, and reaches Mars, which is populated by a utopian society.

When I started this project, the first movie to go onto my hunt list was ABBOTT AND COSTELLO MEET FRANKENSTEIN, which I was able to watch immediately; it became the first entry in the series. The second movie to enter my list was this one (under the alternate title THE AIRSHIP), and here it is, six years later, and I’ve finally had a chance to watch it. Simply for this reason alone, I’m bound to feel a bit of warmth for the movie, simply due to the fact that the hunt is over.

So, how is the movie? I would say that it’s good, but not great. It’s certainly ambitious enough; there’s a huge cast of extras in both the Earth and Mars scenes. The story itself is a little too familiar; it’s your basic “adventure-into-Utopia” story. But there’s a basic problem with Utopia stories; once you get to the Utopia, you end up almost entirely with scenes of people being really nice to each other, and that really doesn’t make for an exciting story. It’s no surprise under these circumstances that the most interesting character is the villain (who stays on Earth), the aptly named Professor Dubious, whose mocking of the whole project starts out as funny, but takes some nasty turns towards the end.

Still, it’s nice to have at least one more science fiction outing from the decade of the 1910s; the only other full length non-horror science fiction movie that I’ve seen from the era is 20,000 LEAGUES UNDER THE SEA, and I think this one is more interesting. It’s probably the most important science fiction movie between A TRIP TO THE MOON and AELITA; it’s certainly the best extant one. So I take my hat off to this one for its historical importance alone. I’m so glad to have finally had a chance to see it.

THE HEADLESS HORSEMAN (1934)
Article 2104 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-19-2006
Posting Date: 5-17-2007
Directed by Ub Iwerks
Animated Short – No Cast

Ichabod Crane and Brom Bones compete for the affections of Katrina. On the way home, Ichabod encounters the headless horseman.

Ub Iwerks was one of the early rivals to Disney in the animation business, but he is largely forgotten nowadays. As tempting as it is to compare this with Disney’s take on the Washington Irving tale, it really wouldn’t be fair – this version was designed to be little more than a standard issue cartoon, without any of the ambitions of the Disney version, and it should be judged as such. As a cartoon, it is played largely for laughs, and the laughs are pretty tepid; my favorite joke was discovering Katrina’s nickname for Ichabod (she uses it in a letter, as there is no dialogue in the movie). The music by Carl Stalling is quite nice, though it predates the innovations he developed at Warner Brothers in using music to underline the action at all moments. It’s a pretty ordinary thirties cartoon and pretty forgettable.

THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID ROW SLASHER (1979)
Article 2103 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-18-2006
Posting Date: 5-16-2007
Directed by Ray Dennis Steckler
Featuring Pierre Agostino, Carolyn Brandt, Chuck Alford

A Hollywood Strangler meets a Skid Row Slasher.

In this movie, the Hollywood Strangler photographs a model who starts coming on to him. He strangles her.

Then, the Skid Row Slasher (who works at a used book store) encounters a wino who offers her a drink. The wino wanders off and finds a place to sleep. The Skid Row Slasher follows him. She slashes him.

Then, the Hollywood Strangler photographs another model who starts coming on to him. He strangles her.

Then, the Skid Row Slasher encounters another wino who offers her a drink. The wino wanders off and finds a place to sleep. The Skid Row Slasher follows him. She slashes him.

Then the Hollywood Strangler notices the Skid Row Slasher. He is convinced she is different and will understand him. He pets some pigeons and plays with some dogs.

Then, the Hollywood Strangler photographs another model who starts coming on to him. He strangles her.

Then, the Skid Row Slasher encounters another wino who offers her a drink. The wino wanders off and finds a place to sleep. The Skid Row Slasher follows him. She slashes him….

This is a plot? No, but it is a Ray Dennis Steckler film, and I’ve come to expect them to be a little lax in the story department. I’ve noticed that he likes movies with more than one psycho in them, and I always thought it a bit strange that Mad Dog Click and the gang of psychos in THE THRILL KILLERS never met; here there is no such problem. The main character here is called Johnathan Click; I wonder if he liked the name.

Yes, the movie is bloody awful, but Steckler still manages to show just enough competence on occasion that the movie doesn’t become unwatchable. That’s some feat when you consider that it was practically shot as a silent movie, with all of the dubbing done afterwards (most of which is the Hollywood Strangler’s inner monologues).

As the movie progressed, I became aware that the movie would end in one of two ways. Either it just wouldn’t end – the Strangler would keep strangling and the Slasher would keep slashing – or it would end by…well, how would expect a movie called THE HOLLYWOOD STRANGLER MEETS THE SKID ROW SLASHER to end?

That being said, if you think of it as a romantic comedy, it’s a lot funnier than THE LEMON GROVE KIDS. And though I’m tempted to say that the topless roller disco sequence is gratuitous, that would imply that the rest of the movie isn’t.

HELL NIGHT (1981)
Article 2096 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-11-2006
Posting Date: 5-9-2007
Directed by Tom DeSimone
Featuring Linda Blair, Vincent Van Patten, Peter Barton

Four fraternity pledges undergo an initiation by spending the night in a spooky old mansion. Unbeknownst to the pledges is that some of the fraternity members have rigged up the place to scare them. Unbeknownst to all of them is that the madman mentioned in legends about the place is alive and is intent on knocking all of them off one by one.

Were I ever to forget that I am now far enough into this series that movies from the eighties occasionally come creeping up on my lists, movies like this will certainly remind me. Since I’m no big fan of slasher movies, I fully expected to hate this one; however, I found it to be not near as bad as I expected. On the plus side, the characters are likable (and better developed than is usually the case for this sort of fare), it does have the occasional good twist to some of its cliches, and I do like the idea of throwing some “old dark house” action into the mix. On the minus side, it’s pretty predictable, Linda Blair’s performance is quite bad, most of the attempts at humor are abysmal (the best is a joke about quaaludes and skin condition), and the movie tries to get way too much scare mileage by having people find dead bodies. Oh, and did I mention that there are moments when people act with incredible stupidity (a flaw that seems almost de riguer in slasher films)? The best moment is an exciting chase scene in the caves below the house.

THE HORROR OF IT ALL (1963)
Article 2083 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-28-2006
Posting Date: 4-26-2007
Directed by Terence Fisher
Featuring Pat Boone, Erica Rogers, Dennis Price

An American visits the home of his British girlfriend to ask for her hand in marriage, and encounters her eccentric relatives. He then discovers that someone is knocking off members of the family one by one.

Let’s give credit where credit is due. The strengths of this movie are that it has a strong cast, and Terence Fisher keeps the movie relatively short (only 75 minutes). I think it’s important to mention these strengths at the outset, because its weaknesses threaten to overshadow them. Its main problem is an atrocious, predictable script that tries to mine laughs out of jokes that are as old as Dracula’s castle (just for example, the joke about the vampiric character’s favorite drink being a bloody mary is one that any smart editor would have left on the cutting room floor; here, it’s one of the big jokes). This movie could have been agonizing to sit through if it hadn’t been for one thing; the cast consistently refuses to resort to desperation for laughs, and it somehow leaves the movie with an amiable watchable quality it might not otherwise have. In this context, Pat Boone’s warbling of the silly innocuous title tune (you didn’t think he was just here to act, do you?) – which would have ordinarily had me rushing to the refrigerator – becomes a relative highlight of the movie. The best gags involve an inventor who keeps working on things that have already been invented, and these jokes are only mildly funny. All in all, it’s pretty bad, but it could have been a lot worse.

HAUSER’S MEMORY (1970)
TV Movie
Article 2082 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-27-2006
Posting Date: 4-25-2007
Directed by Boris Sagal
Featuring David McCallum, Susan Strasberg, Helmut Kautner

A doctor is given permission to perform an experiment by which one person’s memories may be passed on to another person through the use of RNA. When a suitable test subject cannot be found, the doctor volunteers to be the subject, but his assistant beats him to it. The assistant than begins a personality transformation as he recovers the memory of the donor; a scientist by the name of Hauser.

One of the moments that I most enjoy about this movie-watching series is when two consecutive movies dovetail in interesting ways. Yesterday’s movie, THE GROUNDSTAR CONSPIRACY, was a political thriller whose plot hinged upon the memories (or lack thereof) of the primary character, and here is another political thriller in which a man’s memories come into play. The movie looks surprisingly classy for a TV movie; in fact, if it weren’t for the language and a few specific scenes, I thought THE GROUNDSTAR CONSPIRACY looked more like a TV movie than this one did. This is a fairly good movie, with a strong (if slightly repetitive) performance by David McCallum as a man struggling with a new personality. The movie works best towards the beginning, but problems arise in the latter part of the movie; in particular, there are so many double agents and reversals of fortunes for the main character that it almost becomes a bit comic. The ending left me disappointed, though I’m not sure why; I’m guessing that it just didn’t come off as well as it could have. Still, it was the ending that reminded me of one of the opening credits; the movie was based on a novel by Curt Siodmak, and I suddenly recognized the strong resemblance to two other works by him; namely, DONOVAN’S BRAIN and BLACK FRIDAY, both stories about people being taken over by the personalities of others; it must have been a favorite theme of his.

HOW TO STEAL THE WORLD (1968)
Article 2062 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-6-2006
Posting Date: 4-5-2007
Directed by Sutton Roley
Featuring Robert Vaughn, David McCallum, Barry Sullivan

When a well-intentioned former UNCLE agent comes by a formula that allows total control of anyone’s will, he kidnaps several noted scientists to help him put into effect a plan to use the formula to put an end to violence and evil in the world. Napoleon Solo and Ilya Kuryakin are called upon to stop him.

This movie was culled from the final two episodes of “The Man from UNCLE” TV series, and, quite frankly, you can see that the series had gone downhill. Both Vaughn and McCallum seem to show little interest in the proceedings, and, despite the fact that the story is interesting, the direction is uninspired. Still, there are some good performances here; in particular, Leslie Nielsen gives an excellent performance in an interesting role as a General who is a firm believer in the ends justifying the means, and the conflict between him and Barry Sullivan’s character (as the former UNCLE agent who has hired him as a security expert) adds a lot of interest to the proceedings. I also really took notice of Leo G. Carroll here; his ability to express in his face thoughts that cannot be revealed through his terse dialogue, and his performance in the final moments of this one is great. On a side note, I would like to point out that helicopters play a much bigger role in the proceedings here than they did in THE HELICOPTER SPIES.

THE HELICOPTER SPIES (1968)
Edited from episodes of “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.”
Article 2054 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-29-2006
Posting Date: 3-28-2007
Directed by Boris Sagal
Featuring Robert Vaughn, David McCallum, Carol Lynley

Two secret agents try to prevent a weapon called the Thermal Prism from being used to take over the world.

Despite the fact that I’m not a particular fan of the James Bond series, I find myself quite liking some of the TV shows that were inspired by it. I didn’t see this show much during its original run, but I’ve enjoyed seeing some of the movies made out of it, and I think it’s a good thing that they usually did this with two-part episodes that told whole stories rather than trying to glue two different stories together. This one is quite fun and has an interesting assortment of guest stars, including John Dehner, Carol Lynley, Julie London and John Carradine (who, as a high priest of a cult, will only speak when his cult has gained control of the world). H. M. Wynant is also a lot of fun as a group of acrobat brothers who just happen to all look alike; I look forward to seeing him in Larry Blamire’s upcoming movie TRAIL OF THE SCREAMING FOREHEAD. However, I do take issue with the title of the movie; though there are a couple of scenes with helicopters in the movie, they play no significant role in the proceedings; it’s almost as if the person who titled it, saw the first two minutes, decided that since it was a scene of two spies in a helicopter, he decided to call it THE HELICOPTER SPIES. Imagine if other movies titled themselves that way.

CITIZEN KANE – THE DEAD MAN’S PAPERWEIGHT
THE WIZARD OF OZ – FEEDING PIGS IN KANSAS
THE BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN – BYRON VISITS THE SHELLEYS
KING KONG – THE ACTRESS HUNT

You can add your own.

HERCULES AGAINST ROME (1964)
aka ERCOLE CONTRO ROMA
Article 2036 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-11-2006
Posting Date: 3-10-2007
Directed by Piero Pierotti
Featuring Sergio Ciani, Wandisa Guida, Livio Lorenzon

Hercules must save the Roman emperor from a plot against him by the pretorian guards.

At least that’s the plot I got off of IMDB. You know, I usually don’t have much trouble locating the Sword-and-Sandal movies that pop up on my list; I manage to find them without a great deal of hassle (if I don’t already have them in my collection). This one was far and away the hardest to get. When it finally made itself available, I was quite glad, even if the print was undubbed and subtitled in what looks like Dutch; if the latter statement is true, that means that in the Netherlands they subtitle Sword-and-Sandal movies, a fact that actually gives me pause.

In truth, it hardly made a difference to me. It’s been a long time since I’ve seen a Sword-and-Sandal movie where the plot made much of a difference to me, and the fun things about it (watching Hercules kick butt) are still here in spades. I really like Alan Steel; he looks like he’s having the time of his life during the fight scenes. Not only does he knock someone off his horse with a really big mallet, he also attacks people with pillars, hits them with logs, pushes a huge rock off of a cliff, and when it comes time for him to bend the bars back, he chooses instead to just pick up a big rock and knock the whole cell door down. He even dispatches one of the villains with an anvil, an act that would make Bugs Bunny proud. The main fantastic content is, of course, Hercules’s great strength; you try dispatching someone with an anvil and see how hard it is.

I wonder just how many more of these I’m destined to see.

HER HUSBAND’S AFFAIRS (1947)
Article 2011 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-16-2006
Posting Date: 2-13-2007
Directed by S. Sylvan Simon
Featuring Lucille Ball, Franchot Tone, Edward Everett Horton

An ad executive tries to profit off of creations from a scientist whose experiments he is financing, but when the creations backfire, he finds himself in hot water and has to be bailed out by his ever-resourceful wife.

In some ways, this movie sets the pattern for the type of shtick that would be a mainstay on “I Love Lucy”, with one big exception; whereas Lucy Ricardo’s plans would often backfire, those of the character she plays here are rousing successes and manage to save her husband’s hash on numerous occasions. It’s an amusing enough comedy, especially during the first half, when the executive has to handle an ad campaign for straw hats, a cream that allows men (and women) to remove facial hair without shaving, followed by a cream (the same one, by the way) that will cure baldness. Eventually, though, the amusement is undercut by the fact that the ad executive is not only ungrateful to his wife for her help, but actively hostile as well, and she is forced to feel guilty for being fast-thinking, clever and helpful. The movie in this sense is part of a sexist post-WWII trend towards getting women out of the workplace (which they entered during WWII due to the fact that the men were out fighting) and back in the homes “where they belonged”; the wife is made to feel bad about being useful in the real world and not staying in the kitchen. After a while, her husband’s attitude becomes rather unpleasant and grating. This isn’t Franchot Tone’s fault – it’s the script that’s written that way. In fact, I think Tone does a good job of making this jerk somewhat likable, which is no mean feat. The cast also features the Edward Everett Horton (whose baldness sets up a later situation) and Gene Lockhart, as well as Larry Parks (playing himself) and Dwayne Hickman.