DEMENTED (1980)
Article 3873 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 3-13-2012
Posting Date: 3-22-2012
Directed by Arthur Jeffreys
Featuring Sallee Young, Harry Reems, Deborah Alter
Country: USA
What it is: Rape victim freaks out

A rape victim, still troubled by her experience, returns home with her husband. When some hoods begin threatening her, she is not believed by her husband or the cops, since they think she’s having a flashback. When the hoods return, she snaps, and…

You know, the subject matter, unpleasant as it is, isn’t unworkable, but there’s at least three things you need – a decent script, strong acting (especially from the woman playing the rape victim) and solid direction. For this movie, that means “Three strikes, you’re out!” The script is obvious, loaded with cliches, and has no subtlety; it’s one of those scripts where the characters remind you that the woman was raped every five minutes or so, just in case you forget. Sallee Young is really trying her best in the central role, but she just doesn’t have the acting chops to pull it off, and the crazier her character gets, the worse her performance gets. And the functional-at-best, petrified-at-worst direction just makes the whole experience seem lifeless; it’s one of those movies where you realize the only thing that keeps you from going to sleep is the high exploitation quotient (nudity and violence). I’m sure that’s enough for some; me, I found this one just plain lousy.

DEATH VALLEY (1982)
Article 3851 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-19-2012
Posting Date: 2-29-2012
Directed by Dick Richards
Featuring Paul Le Mat, Catherine Hicks, Stephen McHattie
Country: USA
What it is: Psycho killer movie

A young child, on vacation in Death Valley with his divorced mother and her boyfriend, discovers a clue that may lead to the solution of a number of serial killings in the area. But the killer knows about the boy…

Peter Billingsley is most remembered as having played Ralphie in the holiday perennial, A CHRISTMAS STORY. I don’t know if this movie played any role in helping him get the part in that movie, but I could see how it might; Billingsley is so likable and natural here that his presence is probably the best thing about the movie; despite fifth billing, he is more or less the lead character. The other performances are acceptable, and this makes the movie watchable enough. However, the plot is incredibly weak, and relies so heavily on a series of incredible coincidences that it really becomes difficult to swallow. It doesn’t help that many characters act with real stupidity at several points of the story. This one is better watched for the performances than the story.

DAWN OF THE DEAD (1978)
Article 3840 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 2-8-2012
Posting Date: 2-18-2012
Directed by George A. Romero
Featuring David Emge, Ken Foree, Scott H. Reiniger
Country: Italy / USA
What it is: Zombie apocalypse movie

Four people, trying to escape the onslaught of man-eating zombies, take refuge in a shopping mall.

On the surface, George Romero’s sequel to his classic NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD comes across as another take at the original story with the antes upped; it’s the same basic premise with fewer (but better trained) trapped humans and a more expansive setting (a shopping mall rather than an isolated house), with more gore and in color as well. What makes it a classic in its own right is that it takes a different tone; there’s are wicked streaks of humor and satire at play here, while the pristine shopping mall settings and the often ludicrous elevator music underscore its jaundiced look at consumerism. It’s not as intense or scary as the first movie, but it manages to take a fresh and fascinating look at the situation at hand and the world that is being created in its wake. It even had an ending that surprised me, though a different ending was at one time planned.

After I finished watching this movie (for the first time, I might add), I found myself checking the quotes on IMDB to see if it featured the line of the movie that will most stick with me. It wasn’t there, but for me, it was the most telling line of the film. I can’t remember the exact words, but it involves a character pondering as to “what has become of us”. It’s the type of line you’d expect from someone thinking about how brutal they’ve become in their battle for survival, but here, it’s about how they’ve take to petty squabbling when they feel relatively safe and secure. Somehow, the idea that the battle for survival makes them more human than they are when they are in idle comfort is a telling critique of human nature. All in all, I found this movie fascinating and satisfying.

THE DAY THE FISH CAME OUT (1967)
Article 3799 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-29-2011
Posting Date: 1-8-2012
Directed by Mihalis Kakogiannis
Featuring Tom Courtenay, Colin Blakely, Sam Wanamaker
Country: Greece / UK / USA
What it is: Satire

A damaged plane discards two bombs and a mysterious box on a Greek island before crashing in the hopes that they can be recovered before there is an international incident A special military team is sent to the island under the guise of being hoteliers in order to find the items, but they underestimate the native villagers, and soon things spiral out of control.

I’d first heard about this movie from the Golden Turkey Awards books; Candice Bergen had been nominated for her “awful” performance in the movie. I didn’t personally find her performance all that bad, but she does seem out of place in the movie, her character is really little more than a plot device, and her entrance does mark the point (for me anyway) where the movie really starts to lose its steam, though I don’t think that’s really her fault. Up to that point, it had been a flawed but entertaining enough to get by, and there were a few laughs to be had; my biggest came at seeing the ridiculous tourist get-up of the military team. It is interesting to watch how the situation careens out of control, but what really holds the interest is curiosity about the contents of the mysterious box; the latter also provides the primary science fiction content in the story. Nevertheless, the revelation was a massive disappointment, and that’s what probably is going to stick in my mind about the movie more than anything else. In short, it’s a nice try, but it falls flat.

LES DIEUX S’AMUSENT (1935)
Article 3798 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-28-2011
Posting Date: 2-7-2012
Directed by Reinhold Schunzel and Albert Valentin
Featuring Henri Garat, Armand Bernard, Jeanne Boitel
Country: Germany
What it is: Mythological musical comedy

The god Jupiter attempts to seduce a mortal woman by disguising himself as her husband, who is off fighting the wars.

This movie entered my list at the same time as AMPHITRYON did, as they are German and French language versions of the same story made concurrently. Whereas I was able to find the German language version soon enough, this one languished on my list long enough to be consigned to the “ones-that-got-away” list, and only now am I rescuing it from there. Since the German version had no English subtitles, I couldn’t make heads or tails of it, but I was better prepared for it with this version (which also lacks English subtitles), and was able to appreciate it more. Armed with a bit of a plot description, I was better able to appreciate the humor, especially with the situation that not only is Jupiter disguising himself, but so is his sidekick Mercury, except the latter is forced to disguise himself as a dolt. I don’t remember how impressive the musical numbers were in the other version, but I was quite impressed with some of them here, especially a spectacular number that takes place when the men return from the wars; there’s a dance number with women in white gowns that is almost kaleidoscopic in its feel. Granted, many of the specifics still elude me, but I think I enjoyed this one a lot more this time.

DEATH DIMENSION (1978)
Article 3784 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-12-2011
Posting Date: 12-24-2011
Directed by Al Adamson
Featuring Jim Kelly, Harald Sakata, George Lazenby
Country: USA
What it is: Martial arts action flick

A criminal known as the Pig is in possession of a bomb that kills people by freezing them. However, he loses the plans when the inventor kills himself after having hidden the secret in a microdot hidden in his daughter’s forehead. A martial arts expert is sent out to investigate.

Here director Al Adamson shows he’s just as adept with the martial arts genre as he is with the other genres he’s worked in over the years. The science fiction aspect of the story is pure Gizmo Maguffin, and isn’t used after the unimpressive test in the opening scenes. From then on it’s an assortment of abysmal chase and fight scenes. Of the name actors, George Lazenby comes off best, whereas Aldo Ray is stuck in a bunch of bad scenes where he argues with Harold ‘Odd Job’ Sakata, as he’s billed here, and who has the villainous lead. Still, there’s a reason that Sakata is best known for a role in which he barely speaks a word; here he jabbers on constantly and exudes no menace when he opens his mouth. In fact, the final scenes where Jim Kelly has to pretend to be outclassed by the tired Sakata in a fight scene is just plain embarrassing. The movie also features an actor who has both the names Bruce and Lee in his moniker without it being Bruce Lee. At least Adamson’s horror movies had a little bit of fun to them.

DR. SYN, ALIAS THE SCARECROW (1963)
Article 3763 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-21-2011
Posting Date: 12-3-2011
Directed by James Neilson
Featuring Patrick McGoohan, George Cole, Tony Britton
Country: USA
What it is: Feature version of TV episodes

A vicar has a secret identity known as the Scarecrow, a smuggler who fights the tyranny of the government and helps the poor people of the village. He is forced to match wits with a ruthless general who intends to bring him to justice.

When this movie first entered my hunt list, there was no listing for it on IMDB. However, since the movie is edited together from a series of episodes of Disney’s “The Wonderful World of Color” entitled “The Scarecrow of Romney Marsh”, I substituted those episodes for the movie, and when I acquired those episodes on DVD, I watched them. Recently, the title popped up again on my hunt list because IMDB had, in the interim, made a listing for the movie version, and since the movie version was also available on the DVDs, I decided to go ahead and review this version as well.

As I stated in my previous review, this was far from an unpleasant experience; I enjoyed it the first time I saw it, and I enjoyed this version as well. Its condensation to a single feature seems to have mostly been accomplished by largely removing the first of the three episodes from the mix, which makes sense; the second and third episodes make for a smoother single story. I like the same things as before (McGoohan’s performance, the excellent masks, the lack of cuteness, etc), and, like before, I must admit that the fantastic content consists of little more than the fact that those masks are so effectively scary. Enjoyable, but ultimately it’s pretty marginal.

DON’T OPEN THE DOOR! (1975)
Article 3762 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-20-2011
Posting Date: 12-2-2011
Directed by S.F. Brownrigg
Featuring Susan Bracken, Larry O’Dwyer, Gene Ross
Country: USA
What it is: Psycho killer

A woman gets an anonymous phone call telling her that her grandmother is on her deathbed. She returns to her grandmother’s home town (where her own mother was killed years ago) to take charge and make sure her grandmother gets the care she needs. Unfortunately, she finds herself the target of a psycho killer who makes obscene phone calls to her.

I will give S.F. Brownrigg some credit; he does know instill a truly creepy air in the proceedings, sometimes merely by casting people who really look right for their parts. And though you’ll figure out who the killer is fairly quickly (the movie really isn’t trying very hard to hide it), you’ll find all of the people hanging around the grandmother’s house have a pretty sleazy and unsettling feel to them. Still, if he’s good at that creepy low-budget feel, he’s less impressive in the story department, and not only does this movie leave too many unanswered questions in its wake, but after I while I find myself losing my patience with characters who consistently make the stupidest choices imaginable in their positions. Brownrigg is most famous for having helmed DON’T LOOK IN THE BASEMENT; this one ends up not being near as bloody or near as interesting, though it does have its moments. It even has a choice bit of dialogue where the attorney quotes a line from Lewis Carroll. Nevertheless, despite the movie’s flaws, Brownrigg is a much stronger director than fellow Texan Larry Buchanan, with whom he worked before he moved into directing. Incidentally, the title is meaningless.

DOGS OF HELL (1982)
aka Rottweilers: Dogs of Hell
Article 3761 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-19-2011
Posting Date: 12-1-2011
Directed by Worth Keeter
Featuring Earl Owensby, Bill Gribble, Robert Bloodworth
Country: USA
What it is: Regional horror movie

The military has been experimenting with rottweilers to see if they can be developed to take the place of army troops. When a transport carrying some of the dogs crashes, they get loose and terrorize the residents and visitors in a mountain resort town.

Much as I admire the attempt to work at character development in a movie, to do it effectively requires a certain level of competence in both the acting and the writing departments, and I’m afraid that the talent in this movie isn’t quite up to the task from either angle. As a result, the first twenty minutes of this movie is a real snoozefest, but once the accident occurs and the dogs get loose it becomes… well, not good, but, if you take into account we’re dealing with low-budget regional horror, it becomes passable. Which is not to say the movie doesn’t have major problems after that point; it has quite a few moments when people act with real stupidity, there are a number of silly lines of dialogue, and the movie keeps trying to instill some more clumsy character development. Nevertheless, it’s sporadically entertaining enough to get by. It was filmed in 3D, though as far as I can tell, the movie uses the gimmick sparingly. My favorite line: “That catfish in there was bigger than Dolly Parton’s latest hit!” – I must admit that I wasn’t expecting those two last words.

DIAMONDS ARE FOREVER (1971)
Article 3760 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-18-2011
Posting Date: 11-30-2011
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Featuring Sean Connery, Jill St. John, Charles Gray
Country: UK
What it is: James Bond movie

James Bond is sent out to follow a diamond smuggling trail in which all of the connections end up dead.

I like the casting of Charles Gray as Blofeld; he’s always been one of my favorite villainous actors. I also like the pairs of assassins; the one that looks like a pairing of Oliver Reed and David Crosby, and the others named for characters in a Disney movie. But overall, I found this one rather disappointing. The science fiction content is the usual assortment of gimmicks, but the source that claims that part of the action takes place on the moon is incorrect; there’s a sequence on a moon set, and part of the plot involves an outer space satellite, but we never actually reach the moon. The movie seems a little dull and short of action; this was apparently due to the fact that Sean Connery was paid so much to return in the role after George Lazenby chose not to continue in it that the budget for the rest of the movie suffered accordingly. The humor seems weaker as well; I was really disappointed that the movie relies on stupid cops for laughs at one point. Connery would return to the role some ten years later (though not as part of the series), but after this movie Roger Moore would take over.