THE CLONING OF CLIFFORD SWIMMER (1974)
TV-Movie episode of “Wide World Mystery”
Article 3801 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-31-2011
Posting Date: 1-10-2012
Directed by Lela Swift
Featuring Peter Haskell, Sheree North, Lance Kerwin
Country: USA
What it is: Science fiction crime story

An unhappy husband is offered a chance to escape his current life by a doctor he’s seeing; the doctor has created a clone of the husband who will take his place, letting the real husband escape to a new life. However, things don’t work out as smoothly as planned…

In some ways, this episode of the TV series “Wide World Mystery” reminds me of SECONDS, in that it deals with a man who is given the opportunity to escape his life and start a fresh new existence. The similarity doesn’t last long, though; since the husband is a hateful, abusive individual who you’ll end up hating (and the clone is a nice, gentle, loving man), this movie emphasizes the more melodramatic aspects of the story, and it becomes more of an exercise in making you want to see the husband’s comeuppance. The movie is marred by some bad writing and silly situations, and though the final twist wasn’t what I expected, it’s one in which doesn’t hold up once you start thinking about it. With some rewriting and shortening, it might have worked better as a half-hour episode of “The Twilight Zone”.

C.H.O.M.P.S. (1979)
Article 3774 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 12-2-2011
Posting Date: 12-14-2011
Directed by Don Chaffey
Featuring Wesley Eure, Valerie Bertinelli, Conrad Bain
Country: USA
What it is: Faux shopping cart movie

A young inventor tries to win his job back at a security agency by creating the ultimate burglary prevention device – a robotic dog. However, there’s an industrial spy at the agency who wants the dog and the plans for a competitor…

So this is what happens when American International and Hanna-Barbera productions join forces – an imitation of a Disney shopping cart movie, with some familiar names in the cast (Valerie Bertinelli, Jim Backus, Conrad Bain, and Chuck McCann and Red Buttons as a pair of incompetent burglars) and the kind of plot you’d expect, but lacking the special effects expertise of its model. No, it’s not very good, but it’s not significantly worse than Disney’s own comedies from the period, and it’s harmless enough. Technically, since C.H.O.M.P.S stands for Canine Home Protection System, the title should be C.HOM.P.S, but that’s nit-picking; in truth, the most annoying things about the movie are the presence of an unnecessary and uncredited voice-over on a big dog named Monster who throws in some gratuitous light cussing, no doubt to avoid the dreaded G rating, and a repetitive melody that shows up whenever the robot dog springs into action. I’m not sure just how cost-effective this robot dog would be; given its propensity for leaping through doors, windows, walls when its in action, you’d think the damage it would do would end up outweighing its benefits.

THE CRIMINAL LIFE OF ARCHIBALDO DE LA CRUZ (1955)
aka Ensayo de un crimen
Article 3753 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 11-11-11
Posting Date: 11-23-2011
Directed by Luis Bunuel
Featuring Miroslava, Ernesto Alonso, Rita Macedo
Country: Mexico
What it is: Serial killer movie… with a twist

As a child, Archibaldo was given a music box, and was told that it had once been in the possession of a king who could you use it to will people’s deaths. When he tries it on his governess, she dies immediately from a bullet shot from a revolutionary. Years later, he recovers the music box… but does it still give him that power…?

Serial killers with sexual hang-ups are a dime a dozen nowadays, but they certainly weren’t back in the fifties, but then, this movie is fairly ambiguous about whether the title character (who has come to associate eroticism with death) is actually a serial killer or only so in his imagination and due to coincidence. It’s certainly an interesting and complex movie, and it’s played more as a light drama than a horror movie; in this respect, it reminded me a bit of Chaplin’s MONSIEUR VERDOUX. It was directed by the surrealist Luis Bunuel, and is supposed to rank with his best work, but to be honest, I think I prefer the other movies of his I’ve covered for this series, namely, THE EXTERMINATING ANGEL and THE DISCREET CHARM OF THE BOURGEOISIE, both of which are much more surreal and strange; this one seems relatively normal.

CURSE OF THE DEVIL (1974)
aka El retorno de Walpurgis
Article 3738 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-27-2011
Posting Date: 11-8-2011
Directed by Carlos Aured
Featuring Paul Naschy, Fabiola Falcon, Mariano Vidal Molina
Country: Spain / Mexico
What it is: El Hombre Lobo movie

During her execution, the Countess Bathory places a curse on the Daninsky family. The curse manifests itself many years later when Waldemar Daninsky accidentally kills a werewolf, thus setting into motion events that place the curse on himself.

If you were to watch all of Paul Naschy’s “El Hombre Lobo” movies without any clue as to which order they were made, you might well pick this one as the first in the series; in actuality, it was several movies down the line. Not only does it deal most extensively with the backstory of Waldemar Daninsky, but it it’s one of the least cluttered of the whole series; despite a subplot involving the Countess Bathory (which serves as merely a setup for the rest of the movie), this one is focused most clearly on the story of the werewolf himself. Despite the fact that it opens with a badly done medieval fight scene, it’s a fairly decent movie overall, albeit a bit on the slow side. It’s also the one that most clearly borrows from Universal’s THE WOLF MAN; though it’s far from a faithful remake, the similarities are there, and some of the borrowings are rather explicit, including a variation on the “Even a man who is pure of heart…” poem. For me, the most interesting touch was seeing how the villagers themselves become a bit monstrous in their pursuit of the beast in the final scenes, violently killing anyone who they feel is responsible for the werewolf’s existence. It did help that I was able to see the uncut version with subtitles; that always makes foreign movies seem a bit classier.

CRAZE (1974)
Article 3736 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-25-2011
Posting Date: 11-6-2011
Directed by Freddie Francis
Featuring Jack Palance, Diana Dors, Julie Ege
Country: UK
What it is: Black magic movie

An antique store owner worships an African idol named Chuku, and his human sacrifices to it bring him financial success. However, he finds he can’t stop sacrificing to the idol… and the police are on his trail.

It’s been quite a while since I’ve seen a Herman Cohen production, and for those who are interested in the subtexts that run through his work, you’ll find them here as well, especially in the antique owner’s relationship with a younger business associate; furthermore, it seems quite clear to me that Jack Palance (who is here in what I would like to think of as the Michael Gough role) is very aware of these subtexts. To be truthful, the main attraction here is Palance’s performance; he jumps back and forth between underplaying and histrionics, and though I can’t quite bring myself to call it a great performance, it does hold your interest. Unfortunately, once you get past these points of interest, it’s just not a very good movie; Freddie Francis’s direction is weak, and the movie has a lethargic pace, especially in those scenes involving the police investigation. It’s also a bit silly at times, though I will admit to liking the touch of seeing how Palance is haunted by the idol during the reading of his aunt’s will. Besides Palance, there are quite a few name actors in the cast, though I think only Diana Dors is well used.

THE CORPSE GRINDERS (1971)
Article 3735 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-24-2011
Posting Date: 11-5-2011
Directed by Ted V. Mikels
Featuring Sean Kenny, Monika Kelly, Sanford Mitchell
Country: USA
What it is: Cat food

A doctor becomes suspicious when the city is overrun by a rash of cat attacks on humans. He discovers that a local cat food producer has a special ingredient they’ve been adding to their recipe – human flesh!

When I say that this is the best Ted V. Mikels movie I’ve covered for my series, I hope it’s understood that it has nothing to do with any intrinsic merit in this movie. It’s simply because it isn’t as head-scratchingly incoherent as ASTRO-ZOMBIES or as thuddingly dull as BLOOD ORGY OF THE SHE-DEVILS. It’s also largely devoid of surprises; once you know the premise, you’ll probably find nothing in the storyline that you couldn’t have predicted from the outset. Probably the most striking thing about the movie is that it’s even more seedy-looking than you might have expected; almost all of the supporting cast looks like they’ve been dragged off of skid row, and the cat food factory certainly wouldn’t have passed any serious health inspection. Furthermore, those turning to this one in the hopes of serious gore will probably be disappointed, unless a barrel full of body parts near the end will satisfy them. On one side note, I can’t understand why one of the cat food manufacturers chooses to bury the wife of the undertaker at one point; after all, wouldn’t this be throwing away raw materials? Not that I have any desire to be giving business advice to these guys, I hope you understand…

COPS AND ROBIN (1978)
TV-Movie
Article 3733 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 10-22-2011
Posting Date: 11-3-2011
Directed by Allen Reisner
Featuring Ernest Borgnine, Michael Shannon, Carol Lynley
Country: USA
What it is: Follow-up to FUTURE COP

Many years ago, a partner of Officer Cleaver’s was killed by a millionaire, and the only witness (the murdered man’s wife) disappeared because she was too scared to testify. When the wife reappears on the scene, authorities convince her to testify, but she fears for the safety of her five-year old daughter. Can Cleaver and his android partner Haven protect the girl from the thugs the millionaire has sent out to kidnap her?

I rather liked the TV pilot movie FUTURE COP, and this follow-up to it has some of the same strengths; some good writing and thoughtful acting keep the premise from seeming silly, and it refuses to rely on the cliches you’d think would be guaranteed with the premise; the android has neither super strength nor invulnerability. In fact, as far as I can tell, there’s only one time where the android’s abilities are called on to help things along, and it’s the power of super-smell along with his efficient computing ability that makes the difference. Granted, since it was the android’s flaws that ultimately caused the situation that required his services, one is finally left with the question of just how useful the android would be to the police force overall. Nevertheless, it’s the nice balance and chemistry between Ernest Borgnine and Michael Shannon that makes it all likable, and I found myself enjoying this one as well as the previous one.

COMMANDO CODY: SKY MARSHAL OF THE UNIVERSE (1953)
TV Series / Serial
Article 3688 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-4-2011
Posting Date: 9-19-2011
Directed by Harry Keller, Franklin Adreon, and Fred C. Brannon
Featuring Judd Holdren, Aline Towne and Gregory Gaye
Country: USA
What it is: Science fiction series

A nefarious tyrant from outer space called The Ruler has his sights on attacking and defeating the Earth. Only Commando Cody and his crew can save the world.

I actually could have covered this one some time ago, but at the time, it appeared to be a TV series that was for some reason listed in my reference books as a serial. It was only later than I realized that the history of this one was somewhat more complicated; though obviously filmed as a TV show, it apparently had to be shown in theaters before it could be shown on TV due to certain contractual obligations. Apparently, this is the source of a certain amount of controversy; since it doesn’t engage in cliffhangers, some purists won’t classify it as a “serial”. I have no problem doing so; there is an overriding story arc, and there are some early silent serials that also eschewed the cliffhanger format, such as THE PERILS OF PAULINE. As a serial, I find it more entertaining than either ZOMBIES OF THE STRATOSPHERE or RADAR MEN FROM THE MOON; the necessity of coming up with a new episode-length threat every time out made things a little more creative than usual. As a TV series, it’s certainly faster-moving and more energetic than some of the other series of the time, such “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger” or “Space Patrol”, and the wealth of stock footage (from earlier serials and other sources) is well used. In this one, Commando Cody wears a mask under the helmet to keep his real identity a secret. One of the oddest touches for me was the presence of Richard Crane as Cody’s assistant in nine of the 12 episodes (the first three featured William Schallert in the position); given that he played the heroic title character in “Rocky Jones, Space Ranger”, he’s essentially in that series’ Winky role here. All in all, I was rather entertained by this one.

LES CREATURES (1966)
aka The Creatures

Article 3678 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-25-2011
Posting Date: 9-9-2011
Directed by Agnes Varda
Featuring Catherine Deneuve, Michel Piccoli, Eva Dahlbeck
Country: Sweden / France
What it is: Fantastically themed art movie

After an accident, a writer and his wife (who has lost the power of speech) move into a castle, and have odd encounters with the local residents. The writer begins to suspect someone is practicing mind control on the residents…. or is he just writing a book about it?

The first thirty minutes of this strange little movie are impenetrable; events happen, but their significance within the scheme of things is nearly impossible to discern. It’s only when the writer reveals the nature of the book he is writing (in a conversation with a horse) that the movie gives out a clue on what to watch for, as well as providing the key to the fantastic content in the movie. I’m not sure whether the events portrayed are real or just part of the novel he’s writing, but I actually found it didn’t matter; the second half of the movie, in which the writer encounters the man behind the mind control and becomes engaged in a game with him in which the lives of the various people in the community are at risk, is fascinating to watch, and I like the movie’s symbolic use of the checkerboard pattern and the technique of darkening the screen to symbolize that the characters are under mind control . I’m not saying that I’ve scoped out the movie completely; there are still some questions I have about the action (such as whether or not a rabbit really talks back to the writer at one point, and what the significance of the final scene is), but considering the impenetrability of the first part of the movie, I was really glad it settled down into a more coherent and enjoyable groove. This one is recommended, but one should be aware that it’s an art film before taking it on.

THE CONQUEST OF MYCENAE (1963)
aka Ercole contro Molock

Article 3677 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-24-2011
Posting Date: 9-8-2011
Directed by Giorgio Ferroni
Featuring Gordon Scott, Alessandro Panaro, Rosalba Neri
Country: Italy / France
What it is: Sword and Sandal

The evil city of Mycenae terrorizes its neighbors and demands hostages for sacrifice to the human incarnation of their god Moloch. Can Glaucus, the prince of a neighboring city, find a way to infiltrate Mycenae and spark a revolution?

The movie actually begins with a scene that seems intended to generate a bit of sympathy for the Mycenaens and their plight, but after that, they’re the typical evil kingdom for these types of movies. And don’t let the alternate title (which implies that Hercules is in the movie) fool you; the hero is Glaucus, and he just calls himself Hercules when he willingly agrees to be a hostage in order to get access to the city. He’s strong enough, but not Hercules-style strong. Still, the movie has other fantastic content to it; there’s at least one moment where divine intervention steps in, and though the human/god Moloch is just supposed to be a mutilated human being, it looks like he has a few mystical powers as well. Other than that, it’s the usual sort of thing for a sword and sandal movie, with the order a bit scrambled (the hero’s dalliance with the evil queen is gotten out of the way earlier than usual), and some scenes appear to be missing (if the evil queen ever got her comeuppance, I missed it). Some of the special effects are quite bad; there’s a truly awful shot of a burning city at one point. All in all, it’s just another sword-and-sandal movie.