BAT WOMAN (1968)
(a.k.a. LA MUJER MURCIELAGO)
Article #914 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 9-15-2003
Posting Date: 2-12-2004
Directed by Rene Cardona
Featuring Maura Monti, Roberto Conedo, Hoctor Godoy

An evil scientist intent on creating a sea monster gets some resistance from a masked hero.

This movie features The Miserable Dr. Eric Williams (reminiscent of THE AWFUL DR. ORLOFF, THE HORRIBLE DR. HICHCOCK and THE DIABOLICAL DR. Z) who lives on the ship called REPTILICUS (doesn’t that remind you of a weedy Danish monster?) intent on creating a gill man (isn’t that what they called THE CREATURE OF THE BLACK LAGOON?) which he refers to at one point as The Amphibian Man (wasn’t that a Russian science fiction movie?), but whom he renames Pisces. The monster ends up looking like a cross between the marine creatures in WAR-GODS OF THE DEEP and the ones in HORROR OF PARTY BEACH (without the hot dogs) with multifaceted eyes like THE FLY. He’s created the monster by using the pituitary glands of wrestlers (just so you know that the movie is from Mexico). He’s decided he needs to create a mate for his monster (shades of BRIDE OF FRANKENSTEIN), and he sets his eyes on Bat Woman (think of Batman in a bikini after a sex change), who has an assistant named Mario (who doesn’t pick a single mushroom throughout the movie, so I won’t make a Nintendo joke). It’s all pretty awful, but when you consider the extensive underwater photography, you have to admit that this is pretty ambitious for what is in essence a Mexican wrestling film. You know you have a faded print when you see a credit for Eastmancolor and realize for the first time you’re watching a color movie. It’s even subtitled rather than dubbed, but I’m afraid it really doesn’t add to the dignity of the proceedings when they repeatedly spell yacht Y-A-T-C-H and you get to read such priceless lines as ‘You killed them, you bastard fish!’ Still, this is a good movie for putting on when you want to see how many other movies it can remind you of.

THE BRASS BOTTLE (1964)
Article #896 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-28-2003
Posting Date: 1-25-2004
Directed by Harry Keller
Featuring Tony Randall, Burl Ives, Barbara Eden

An architect discovers a genie in a brass bottle, who then proceeds to turn his life upside down.

My perception of Burl Ives as a performer over the years has been one of pleasant family-friendly blandness, and my most striking memories of his work bear out this perception (the snowman’s voice in the TV special “Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” where his presence added a proper touch to the proceedings, and as the lovable grandfather in the godawful science fiction opus of 1981 EARTHBOUND, which embodies all too well the nightmarish depths that pleasant family-friendly blandness can lead to). I was very startled to learn that one of his most famous roles was playing Big Daddy in Tennessee Williams “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof”, a role that is the very antithesis of pleasant family-friendly blandness, so I must come to the conclusion that his later persona was one of choice rather than one of being incapable of anything else.

Now, pleasant family-friendly blandness has its uses, but some movies need a little more than that, and this is one of them. I am a little in awe of how inoffensive this movie seems, considering the plot touches upon such subjects as women’s underwear, belly-dancing, and the consumption of sheeps’ eyeballs. At any rate, my copy of the movie opened with the trailer for the film, and the trailer pretty much told me everything I needed to know about it. The only thing that keeps this from being a true shopping-cart movie is the absence of the Disney name or any of the regular Disney performers (Fred MacMurray, Tommy Kirk, Annette Funicello, Joe Flynn, etc). The most interesting aspect about it is a piece of trivia; Barbara Eden would go on to fame playing a genie herself in “I Dream of Jeannie.”

THE BIG NOISE (1944)
Article #895 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-27-2003
Posting Date: 1-24-2004
Directed by Mal St. Clair
Featuring Stan Laurel, Oliver Hardy, Doris Merrick

The boys are hired by an inventor to protect a new bomb.

Even at their worst, Laurel and Hardy were such natural comedians and such likeable characters that they still manage to raise a smile or two, which is more than some comedians do at their best. It’s a good thing, too; this movie may be the weakest thing they’ve ever done. The boys look tired this time out, and some of the gags are forced and obvious (there is a segment involving the boys undressing in a bed aboard a railroad car that goes on forever), and there are occasional stretches where they vanish from the story altogether. Nonetheless, there is still the occasional bright gag that works, the odd comic line that gets a laugh, and the simple joy of watching these two characters. The best gag involves some super earplugs that cut off all sound. The science fiction elements include the bomb itself, as well as several rather eccentric inventions and a remote-control plane. This is certainly not the best place to start with Laurel and Hardy, but it isn’t a total waste of time, either.

BEFORE MIDNIGHT (1933)
Article #883 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-15-2003
Posting Date: 1-12-2004
Directed by Lambert Hillyer
Featuring Ralph Bellamy, June Collyer, Claude Gillingwater

A man fears that an ancestral curse is taking place that will result in his death, and when he dies, a detective investigates.

Walt Lee considered this movie for inclusion in his ‘Fantastic Movies’ reference book, but he rejected it and it ended up on his ‘Out’ list. This surprised me a little, as it seemed to me that the horror element is fairly prominent here in the first twenty minutes of the movie, with a strange curse (blood appears under the portrait of an ancestor and a clock stops shortly before the murder occurs), a storm, and a spooky house. After the death, however, the movie clearly becomes more of a mystery, which is the genre to which it primarily belongs. It’s the second movie I’ve seen in a row that features Ralph Bellamy in the leading role, an actor I’ve always liked ever since seeing him outtalked by both Rosalind Russell and Cary Grant in HIS GIRL FRIDAY, and his presence helps to hold my interest throughout the confusing twists and turns of the story; there’s quite a bit of plot crammed into the running time of this one. It’s not a classic, but enjoyable enough for anyone who might be lucky enough to dig up a copy.

A BIRD IN THE HEAD (1946)
Article #877 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 8-9-2003
Posting Date: 1-6-2004
Directed by Edward Bernds
Featurung Moe Howard, Larry Fine, Curly Howard

A mad scientist wishes to use Curly’s brain to transplant into the skull of a gorilla.

Not much to say about this one; this is pretty standard Three Stooges mayhem. In it you will be treated such sights as an X-ray of the inside of Curly’s skull, a gorilla with a machine gun, and the usual well-timed slapstick gags, including a plank that won’t remain standing against a wall. Unfortunately, we never do learn Curly’s hat size.

BURN, WITCH, BURN (1962)
(a.k.a. NIGHT OF THE EAGLE)
Article #863 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-26-2003
Posting Date: 12-23-2003
Directed by Sidney Hayers
Featuring Janet Blair, Peter Wyngarde, Margaret Johnston

A college professor discovers that his wife is using witchcraft, and destroys her charms, thus opening the door to supernatural revenge from an enemy.

Title check: Both titles are appropriate, though they don’t make much sense until the end of the movie.

This is the second cinematic adaptation I’ve seen of Fritz Lieber’s ‘Conjure Wife’, the first having been the Inner Sanctum movie WEIRD WOMAN. This one is more ambitious and plays up the horror elements to a much greater degree; it’s also somewhat more hysterical and sacrifices some of the subtlety of the earlier movie. The professor I found to be quite stupid at times, and at others inexplicably perceptive, and some of the scenes that are supposed to be scary actually come across as a bit silly. Nonetheless, it builds up to a much tenser climax than the earlier film, and even if some of the symbolic moments are a bit too obvious (it’s a little too blatant about the word that gets eradicated from the sentence on the blackboard), and the very ending a hair too convenient, it works well enough. It should be interesting to read the original novel sometime to see which of the movies is truer to it.

THE BLOOD-SPATTERED BRIDE (1972)
Article #841 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 7-4-2003
Posting Date: 12-1-2003
Directed by Vicente Aranda
Featuring Simon Andreu, Maribel Martin, Alexandra Bastedo

A newly-married woman has encounters with a strange woman who may be a vampiress from the family’s past.

Title check: This movie earns the title at about the halfway point in a fairly bloody dream sequence.

This marks a third attempt at Le Fanu’s “Carmilla” that I’ve seen, and ranks somewhere between the other two; it’s not quite as bizarre or interesting as BLOOD AND ROSES, but is a lot more effective than TERROR IN THE CRYPT. It’s also the most exploitive, with a fairly liberal dosage of sex and gore, and thematically it deals with the bride’s latent disgust and hatred of men. Since her husband ends up being a bit of brute, this is understandable within the context of the movie, but it’s really hard to warm up to anything or anyone in this exercise in mayhem. Unfortunately, the movie takes its time at certain points when it should be moving the plot along, and it saves most of its mayhem for the final ten minutes. The most memorable scene involves a naked woman with a snorkel buried on the beach, a scene so oddly surreal that it feels like it’s in the wrong movie; it comes out of nowhere and nothing before or after really matches it. Definitely a mixed bag, and not for the faint of heart.

BARON MUNCHHAUSEN (1943)
(a.k.a. MUNCHHAUSEN)
Article #827 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-20-2003
Posting Date: 11-17-2003
Directed by Josef von Baky
Featuring Hans Albers, Wilhelm Bendow, Brigitte Horney

A recounting of the the adventures of the greatest of all liars, Baron Heironymus Munchhausen

Title check: Well, what else would you call it?

Baron Munchhausen is such a colorful character that he should make a natural choice for the subject of a movie. However, I can’t help but feeling a little disappointed by this one; despite the fact that a lot of care and effort went into it, I found it a bit sluggishly paced at times, and not quite as wild as the story should be. It’s not for kids; there’s some nudity in the film, and Munchhausen definitely shouldn’t be considered a role model, no matter what his charms are. It really turns into a full-blown fantasy near the end, when he finally makes it to the moon, and it’s also here that the movie becomes unexpectedly moving as he comes to realize the price of eternal youth (which he gains during the course of the story). Up to that point, the fantasy elements seem slightly out of place with the basic period adventure format of the rest of the story. Overall, it’s interesting, ambitious, sometimes surprising, but not quite up to the level that it should be.

BULLDOG DRUMMOND COMES BACK (1937)
Article #825 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-18-2003
Posting Date: 11-15-2003
Directed by Louis King
Featuring John Barrymore, John Howard, Louise Campbell

Bulldog Drummond tries to rescue his sweetheart when she is kidnapped by a woman intent on taking revenge for the arrest and execution of her husband.

Title check: I didn’t know he was gone. The other Bulldog Drummond movies had titles where I could at least figure out why each of them had that particular title; this one is pretty vague. Perhaps it means that he returns somewhat to an old case, but other than that, I can’t say.

You know, I have to admit to a certain fondness for these Bulldog Drummond movies, not so much for the character himself, but for his cohorts; Algy, Tenny and Colonel Neilson. Oddly enough, in each of the three I’ve seen, a different one of these characters is my favorite; here, it’s Colonel Neilson (played by the great John Barrymore) who seems to be the most fun as he assumes a series of disguises to hide his identity from Drummond while helping him to solve the kidnapping. The plot itself is pretty lightweight, but fun. However, since I’m covering fantastic movies, I think I should point out that whether its enjoyable or not, it is another example, however, of one of those movies with no fantastic elements at all as far as I can tell, so in terms of my own investigations here, it is a red herring. Fantastic movie fans, be warned.

BEFORE DAWN (1933)
Article #814 by Dave Sindelar
Viewing Date: 6-7-2003
Posting Date: 11-4-2003
Directed by Irving Pichel
Featuring Warner Oland, Stuart Irwin, Dorothy Wilson

When a bank robber dies in the hospital, several people set their sights on the one million dollars he stole from a bank; however, it appears his ghost is guarding the money.

Title check: Accurate enough; the last scenes do take place during the night. However, it’s a little too vague to be a really effective title.

There are some effective moments in this little chiller, particularly in the way certain scenes are staged, and there is one surprising moment involving a staircase at one point (watch out for that last step!). It’s also interesting that one of the characters is indeed truly psychic. Other than that, this one is pretty predictable. You should be able to figure out the villain two minutes into the movie, though I will say that the role was effectively cast. Minor, fun, but merely okay.