Month: February 2021

The Wrecking Crew (1968)

THE WRECKING CREW (1968)
Article 5444 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 5-5-2017
Directed by Phil Karlson
Featuring Dean Martin, Elke Sommer, Sharon Tate
Country: USA
What it is: Matt Helm movie

Matt Helm is sent out on a mission to recover a horde of stolen gold before the economy collapses.

With all of the spy movies I’ve seen lately, I suppose it was inevitable that I would finally encounter the last of the Matt Helm series, the franchise which put the “eyeing” in “spying” due to it’s high leer content. Actually, it may be due to a tragedy that it’s the last of the series; according to IMDB, Dean Martin was so distraught at the murder of Sharon Tate that he refused to make any more Matt Helm movies, which is why a supposed follow-up, THE RAVAGERS, never happened. Still, I suspect that that explanation may not tell the whole story; if there’s any one impression that I came away with from watching this movie, it was that Dean Martin feels barely involved in the action. Oh, he’s there, all right, but he seems bored and even (if I may say so) drunk, even during the love scenes. And he’s not the only one who seems uninvolved; the movie drags and is full of dead spaces, and I think it’s possible a good twenty to twenty-five minutes could have been cut from the movie without missing anything important. The only one here who seems to be having fun is Sharon Tate as an incompetent fellow agent who continually makes things worse for Matt Helm. I do like it a little better than THE AMBUSHERS, if for no other sake than it isn’t a non-stop barrage of leering and double entendres. But, sadly, this one isn’t much of anything at all, and it has the air of having been one movie too many in a series that had lost its charm. The gadgetry is the main fantastic content. However, I do have one nagging question; what was a shipment of gold being sent from the USA to England doing in train going through Denmark in the first place?

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The Burning (1981)

THE BURNING (1981)
Article 5443 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 5-4-2017
Directed by Tony Maylam
Featuring Brian Matthews, Leah Ayres, Brian Backer
Country: USA / Canada
What it is: Slasher film

Five years ago, a hated summer camp caretaker is badly burned when a prank goes awry. After five years of therapy, he is released but is maddened by a desire for vengeance. So, at another summer camp across the lake from the previous one…

If I was a fan of slasher films (in the same way I’m a fan of, say, old dark house movies), I’d probably like this one well enough; it’s well acted and well mounted, there’s a little more character development than is usual for this type of thing, and it follows the basic slasher playbook. It’s that last condition, however, where being a fan of the form makes a difference. If you’re a fan of a subgenre, you become attached to the cliches of that form; if not, the cliches make it seem hackneyed and derivative. This one is based on a common campfire story that actually had a documentary made about it (CROPSEY from 2009). Tom Savini did the special effects, and Rick Wakeman composed the score. It’s one of those slasher movies where the killer has a weapon of choice – in this case, garden shears.

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Wild Oranges (1924)

WILD ORANGES (1924)
Article 5442 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 5-3-2017
Directed by King Vidor
Featuring Frank Mayo, Virginia Valli, Ford Sterling
Country: USA
What it is: Drama

A widower, traumatized by the death of his bride in a freak accident, takes to the sea to forget. He gets tangled up with a woman and her grandfather who are trapped on an island and being terrorized by an unstable and violent criminal.

The Walt Lee guide includes this title due to the fact that the criminal is a “homicidal maniac”, and given those are the identical words that appear on a wanted poster during the movie, it’s rather difficult to argue the point. However, that description is also a bit deceptive; the criminal is such a well-drawn and complex character (he is mentally challenged, and plagued by fear and insecurity) that the phrase “homicidal maniac” is a simplification. In fact, that’s one of the strengths of this movie; the three major characters (the criminal, the girl and the widower) are all complex, and it’s hard not to get caught up in their lives. It’s a fairly rare occurrence for this series to find a movie where characterization is the most interesting thing. Still, as far as fantastic content goes, there are a couple of other touches; one character sees visions of another character at one point (we know it’s not a ghost since the other character is alive), and the climax actually feels a bit like a horror movie at times. This one is very good, if marginal.

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Symphonie mecanique (1956)

SYMPHONIE MECANIQUE (1956)
Article 5441 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 5-2-2017
Directed by Jean Mitry
No human cast
Country: France
What it is: Short Experimental film

Modern music plays while machines operate.

We’re returning to the world of experimental film again, and I’m not sure this one even really qualifies for the series; though there is an emphasis on technology, I don’t think it ever crosses over into the realm of science fiction. It amounts to watching various machines operate while avant-garde music plays on the soundtrack. Many of these experimental films are interesting to look at, but often I can’t find anything to say about them; this one is an exception. One of the things that struck me was there was a certain similarity to the music and the machines at work; both share the trait of having a rhythm, and that’s what I think this film taps into. It’s actually a bit hypnotic watching these machines at work, and at moments they stop feeling like machines and start feeling organic, a feeling that gets a bit ominous before it’s all over. So maybe the film taps into that same fear of technology that was touched upon by much of the science fiction cinema of the era. I liked this one, but once again, if you don’t care for experimental film, you probably won’t care for this one.

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Two Guys from Texas (1948)

TWO GUYS FROM TEXAS (1948)
Article 5440 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 5-1-2017
Directed by David Butler
Featuring Dennis Morgan, Jack Carson, Dorothy Malone
Country: USA
What it is: Musical

Two song-and-dance men get stranded on a dude ranch in Texas when their car is stolen. When their car turns up after a robbery, they are arrested. Can they clear themselves?

This unmitigated musical piece of fluff is what it is; it’s probably good enough for people partial to the form, but it’s the antithesis of the type of movie that I envisioned when I started this whole project. I’ve heard it described as something of a “Road” movie, and though I can see the argument, I still think that Morgan and Carson are no Bob Hope and Bing Crosby, and no self-respecting “Road” movie would leave us stranded at the same location for as long as this one does. As for the fantastic content, I suppose I could argue that Carson’s extreme fear of animals is an example of madness, making this a marginal horror movie, but that won’t wash. I could also argue that Carson is most likely a robot, which I base on the sound effects that play anytime he encounters an animal during the first half of the movie, but you’ll see through that. No, the real reason I covered this movie is that it features an animated sequence featuring anthropomorphic lambs and a talking rabbit; specifically, this is the feature-film debut of Bugs Bunny. I do find it ironic, though, that Carson conquers his fear of animals when confronted with a kitten, which remains the only animal during the course of the movie that legitimately tries to attack him.

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Tarzan, the Ape Man (1959)

TARZAN, THE APE MAN (1959)
Article 5439 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-30-2017
Directed by Joseph M. Newman
Featuring Denny Miller, Cesare Danova, Joanna Barnes
Country: USA
What it is: Jungle reboot

An expedition in Africa in search of the elephant’s graveyard encounters a white man who swings through the jungle and says “oongawa”.

I think it’s fair to say that, given the generic title of this one and the fact that it features the first meeting between Tarzan and Jane, this was an attempted reboot to the 27-year old movie series. But really, if you’re going to reboot, you should put in a lot more effort than was exerted here. Any reboot that uses as much footage as this one does from the original TARZAN, THE APE MAN from 1932 (which was in black and white and is being incorporated into a color widescreen movie) as well as stealing the Johnny Weissmuller Tarzan call and dubbing it into the movie is, to my mind, tacitly admitting that a reboot is pointless. This one is just weak, especially when we have the embarrassing scenes between Tarzan and Jane. And as for bad special effects, wait until you see the close-ups of the jaguar’s face during the scene where Tarzan wrestles the animal. Many of the sequels to the original series weren’t very good, but I think they were all better than this one. Depressing.

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Tarzan and the Great River (1967)

TARZAN AND THE GREAT RIVER (1967)
Article 5438 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-29-2017
Directed by Robert Day
Featuring Mike Henry, Jan Murray, Manuel Padilla Jr.
Country: Switzerland / USA
What it is: Tarzan movie

Tarzan goes to Brazil to defeat a killer cult of jaguar men who have been enslaving the native tribes.

After several days of spy movies, it’s a bit of a relief to move on to a Tarzan movie, though that doesn’t necessarily mean that we’re having a return to quality film here. By this time, the Tarzan movies were mechanical affairs, and this one mostly consists of a long voyage upriver, making it something of a Double Stuffed Safari-O. Mike Henry wasn’t a great actor, but he was likable in the role; reportedly, he was bitten in the jaw by the chimp playing Cheta and had to have twenty stitches during the making of this movie. Like most Tarzan movies, the fantastic content is pretty marginal, though the jaguar men add a touch of horror, as does a plot element where a disease epidemic is mistaken for a curse of the jaguar men. It’s passable entertainment, but hardly inspired.

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Le spie anono i fiori (1966)

LE SPIE AMONO I FIORI (1966)
aka The Spy Loves Flowers
Article 5437 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-28-2017
Directed by Umberto Lenzi
Featuring Roger Browne, Emma Danieli, Daniele Vargas
Country: Italy / Spain
What it is: Spyghetti

A secret agent who has just recovered a stolen secret weapon is given a follow-up assignment to assassinate three men who know of the weapon. However, it becomes apparent to the secret agent that someone knows of his assignment and is targeting him.

I will give this movie one thing; despite the fact that it borrows a few elements of the Bond films (spy who is great with women, exotic locations, etc), it manages to not feel like an imitation of the Bond films. It takes itself somewhat more seriously, and the tone and music of the film give it a different feel. If the story was a little more creative, it might have been one of the better Eurospy films out there, but it’s a little too predictable at times; for one thing, you won’t be the least bit surprised as to the identity of the primary villain of the piece, a revelation I anticipated a very short ways into the movie. The movie is also very short on fantastic content; there is hardly any gadgetry, and the secret weapon is little more than a Gizmo Maguffin to drive the action. I’m glad they tried for something a little bit different here, but it’s only adequate.

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Live and Let Die (1973)

LIVE AND LET DIE (1973)
Article 5436 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-26-2017
Directed by Guy Hamilton
Featuring Roger Moore, Yaphet Kotto, Jane Seymour
Country: UK
What it is: James Bond movie

James Bond investigates the murder of three secret agents and how their deaths are related to a crime lord in New Orleans and a Caribbean dictator.

Seeing as how I’m not really a big fan of the James Bond series, I don’t have any strong feelings one way or another about Roger Moore having taken over the role after the second departure of Sean Connery. However, I do think it’s a bit of a shame they didn’t give him a better kickoff than this relatively listless entry in the Bond series; except for a couple of moments during the speedboat chase, the action scenes aren’t memorable, the henchmen aren’t really a whole lot of fun, and the Bond girls are a bit disappointing. Furthermore, the inclusion of a Southern redneck sheriff feels desperately out of place in a Bond movie, but he must have been popular to have been given a reprise in the subsequent entry in the series. Probably the most impressive thing about the movie is that the theme song was written and performed by Paul McCartney and Wings; given that both Bond and the Beatles were big sixties icons, this is particularly fitting. Most of the gadgetry this time surrounds an all-purpose watch which can also work as a super-magnet, and the fantastic content is further enhanced by a plot that involves voodoo and what appears to be the authentic psychic powers of Jane Seymour’s Tarot card reader. On a side note, it was interesting to note the presence of regional director William Grefe in the credits, who helped with the shark scenes. From what I gather, the series would remain in the doldrums until THE SPY WHO LOVED ME.

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James Tont Operazione U.N.O. (1965)

JAMES TONT OPERAZIONE U.N.O. (1965)
Article 5435 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 4-25-2017
Directed by Bruno Corbucci and Giovanni Grimaldi
Featuring Lando Buzzanca, Evi Marandi, Gina Rovere
Country: Italy / France
What it is: Spoof Spyghetti

Secret agent James Tont must defeat a plot by the international criminal Goldsinger to destroy the United Nations building.

Well, that didn’t take long; here I am with the first of the two James Tont movies. Once again, my copy is in Italian without English subtitles, so I can’t give a real evaluation of the movie. It is, however, full of gadgetry and concepts to add to the fantastic content of the movie. In fact, it slips into fantasy at times; when James Tont is able to escape from peril by escaping through mouseholes and flushing himself down toilets, you’re no longer in science fiction territory. Tont drives a tiny car that can go at super-speeds, change colors at the press of a button, and drives underwater. He also has a scuba-diving suit with a built-in outboard motor. This movie more directly parodies the Bond movies than the later one, with GOLDFINGER in particular the target of some of the jokes; we have characters and scenes designed to recall the characters and scenes of its model, including a bizarre variation on the laser torture scene of the Bond movie. As far as I can tell, Tont get secret messages delivered to him by pop music videos; the villains prefer classical music. All in all, it was quite interesting, but without an English translation, it’s really hard for me to say how funny it was; however, it does have a better reputation than its sequel.

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