Month: October 2020

Inferno (1980)

INFERNO (1980)
Article 4999 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-26-2015
Directed by Dario Argento
Featuring Leigh McCloskey, Irene Miracle, Eleanora Giorgi
Country: Italy
What it is: Horror, Argento style

When a woman discovers a book made up of the notes of an architect who claims to have built three houses for “The Three Mothers”, it sets off a string of bizarre murders and deaths.

All I can say is that it’s a good thing that Dario Argento is the consummate stylist that he is; if he had to rely on coherent story-telling to make his movies intriguing, movies like this would be exercises in frustration. As it is, his stunning use of color, his use of repeated visual motifs and themes (water, broken figurines, cats, small cuts and gashes), and his ability to instill a sense of dread goes a long ways to compensate for the fact that you’re not really sure what’s going on. This was apparently the second of three movies that make up a trilogy, the first of which was the excellent SUSPIRIA. This one isn’t quite up to that level, but it still made for a great viewing experience. Apparently, Mario Bava did some second unit direction and helped with the visual effects; he died before the movie was released.

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The Incredible Hulk (1977)

THE INCREDIBLE HULK (1977)
Article 4998 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-24-2015
Directed by Kenneth Johnson
Featuring Bill Bixby, Susan Sullivan, Jack Colvin
Country: USA
What it is: Superhero TV pilot

A scientist discovers the secrets behind what causes otherwise normal people to perform amazing feats of strength in stressful situations. He experiments on himself by dosing himself with gamma rays, but he uses far more than he was aware. His anger then transforms him into an extremely powerful but uncontrollable green giant.

I’ve encountered this TV series adaptation of the Marvel superhero once before when I covered the second pilot for the series, DEATH IN THE FAMILY. That one gave a better idea of what the series would be like as a going affair; this is the one that sets up the details of the premise and provides the “fairy dust” of how David Banner gained the ability to change into the Incredible Hulk. It’s quite well done; it compensates for the fact that it can’t afford to be a real special effects extravaganza by concentrating on the human stories of the characters, and it is well directed and edited. It’s an origin story, of course, and as such, it gets a little dull when it spends too much time on the details of the “fairy dust”, but I like the way it fives Dr. Banner a real motivation for his research by anchoring it in a personal tragedy at the beginning of the movie. It’s a solid intro to the series.

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Iceman (1984)

ICEMAN (1984)
Article 4997 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-23-2015
Directed by Fred Schepisi
Featuring Timothy Hutton, Lindsay Crouse, John Lone
Country: USA
What it is: Science fiction drama

When a frozen Neanderthal found in the arctic regions turns out to still be alive, an anthropologist seeks to make contact with him. However, other scientists want to use him as a research specimen to discover how he was able to keep from dying in his frozen state, and the two aims aren’t compatible…

If there’s any one single reason to see this movie, it is for John Lone’s performance as the revived Neanderthal. In his hands, the Neanderthal becomes such a fascinating, alive character that I’m amazed he didn’t even get an Oscar nomination for his work. His performance compensates somewhat for the flaws in the script itself. To my mind, the script is unfocused; it has several good ideas, but it doesn’t really settle in on which direction it wants to go until late in the movie, and then it makes the disappointing but audacious choice to plunge into the mystical. As moving as this might be for some, I find myself wishing it had pursued some of the other paths that the movie considers. I have a few other problems with the movie, such as the fact that the Neanderthal manages to escape his controlled environment with an unrealistic ease; certainly, someone would have been thoughtful enough to put up more safeguards. Nevertheless, there is always Lone’s performance to buoy the movie up, and the movie is worth watching for that alone.

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Bloodbath at the House of Death (1984)

BLOODBATH AT THE HOUSE OF DEATH (1984)
Article 4996 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-22-2015
Directed by Ray Cameron
Featuring Kenny Everett, Vincent Price, Pamela Stephenson
Country: UK
What it is: Horror parody

Eight scientists of the paranormal visit a house where 18 people were killed in one night years ago.

All I really knew about this movie going in was that it was one of the latter movie appearances of Vincent Price in a horror movie. Those drawn to it by that fact may well be disappointed; despite high billing, he has what amounts to a featured role, and he doesn’t quite attack the scenes with his usual aplomb. In fact, his voice doesn’t even quite sound like his own; if I had closed my eyes during his scenes, I’m not sure I would have known it was him. The movie itself was a vehicle for a surreal British TV comedian named Kenny Everett. Apparently, his TV work was hit and miss, and this movie is the same; occasional moments work, but most of it misses the mark. Several horror and genre movies are directly parodied; I see references to CARRIE, THE ENTITY, E.T., ALIEN, TEN LITTLE INDIANS, and possibly even one to THE TINGLER. My favorite moment in the movie is a musical one, in which an attempt to reconcile the count of the people killed in the previous encounter turns into a parody version of “The Twelve Days of Christmas”. I will give the movie credit for doing one thing right; unlike some horror movie parodies, this one does at least have some success in getting the mood right.

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The Hitcher (1986)

THE HITCHER (1986)
Article 4995 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-21-2015
Directed by Robert Harmon
Featuring Rutger Hauer, C. Thomas Howell, Jennifer Jason Leigh
Country: USA
What it is: A nightmare

A man driving a car through Texas picks up a hitch-hiker in the hopes that the latter will keep him awake on his drive. When the hitch-hiker proves to be a homicidal maniac, the driver manages to escape, only to find him stalked by the former passenger. When he tries to contact the police, he discovers that he is the one wanted for the string of murders…

Reportedly, some people find this movie fascinating, while others find it merely repellent. I place myself in the earlier category this time; there’s something positively other-worldly about this strange cross between a psycho killer movie and DUEL, and there seem to be some mystic overtones to the story. To me, there’s clearly some sort of bizarre psychic link between the hitch-hiker and the driver here, and this goes a long way towards explaining why I’m willing to buy into a usually unbelievable set of coincidences. That’s why the hitch-hiker knows what the driver is going to do and where he’s going to be, and towards the end I sense that the link starts to run both ways. There is some gore, but most of the really horrific stuff is left to our imagination, which is somehow more effective. Furthermore, it all seems to take place in a world of deserts, truck stops, diners and police stations that doesn’t seem quite real; in some ways, the movie even feels like a western of sorts. All in all, I found the movie harrowing and moody, and much of the horror is less about dying than what an experience like this can do to you on the inside. I found it very effective and very sad.

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Heavy Metal (1981)

HEAVY METAL (1981)
Article 4994 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-19-2015
Directed by Gerald Potterton
Featuring the voices of Don Francks, Caroline Semple, Richard Romanus
Country: Canada
What it is: Animated SF anthology

A glowing globe of evil tells tales of the evil it brings.

This animated SF anthology was apparently modeled off of a graphic science fiction magazine of the same name. I’ve never read the magazine, so I can’t say whether this movie is true to its spirit or not, but if this movie does so, than I wouldn’t have really enjoyed it. The movie definitely tries to be an “adult” work of science fiction, which means it’s heavy on the gore, nudity and sex; however, the stories that support the gore, nudity and sex aren’t particularly engaging. I like the futuristic noir pastiche about a cabbie the best; for one thing, it actually feels like it’s more or less telling a complete story. The two epic fantasies come across as rushed and cramped (the second one would have worked better if it had been developed into a full length movie), the zombie story feels more like an undeveloped idea, the first comic story (about a man on trial who has an “angle”) has a disappointing ending, and the second one (which feels influenced by underground comix and drug humor) is a mess, though it does feature the voices of several SCTV alumni. There’s lots of rock music on the soundtrack, and from what I gather, it was getting the rights to all this music that kept the movie off the DVD market for ages. Overall, I admire the movie’s ambitions, but I can’t say I found it satisfying.

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Don’t Go in the Woods (1981)

DON’T GO IN THE WOODS (1981)
Article 4993 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-19-2015
Directed by James Bryan
Featuring Jack McLelland, Mary Gail Artz, James P. Hayden
Country: USA
What it is: Budget slasher

People go in the woods… and die.

According to the trivia section in IMDB, director James Bryan intended for the movie to have a “tongue in cheek” quality. I was rather surprised by this, not necessarily because I found the movie to be more serious than comic, but rather because I was surprised that there was a vision at all. The movie struck me as a low-budget attempt at a slasher film that’s main intention seemed to be as crude as possible. Yes, I did notice the overt comic moments (such as a tasteless scene of a man struggling with a wheelchair and a scene involving two middle-aged lovers), but I found these to be the most tiresome parts of the movie. Given the fact that the two (decidedly unattractive) middle-aged lovers were named Cherry and Dick, I should have figured out that the director spent much of his career dabbling in porn. There does seem to be the hint of a plot here, but most of the movie is just people in the woods being killed. It isn’t really scary, and the editing looks like it was done at random; the sound is pretty crummy also. Those interested in crude low-budget exploitation might appreciate this one best; the rest of us will probably want to look elsewhere.

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The Hindoo Fakir (1902)

THE HINDOO FAKIR (1902)
Article 4992 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-18-2015
Director unknown
Cast unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Magical trick short

A hindoo fakir does magic tricks.

Anybody who has been following my series has an idea of how many of these early silent “magic trick” shorts I’ve seen in the last few years, and has probably noted how difficult it is for me to say something fresh and interesting about each one; many of them are interchangeable. For the record, the most interesting thing about this one is the magic tricks seem to consist of common stage magic tricks combined with purely cinematic magic tricks, and the fact that you know the former were probably pulled off with the same tricks as the latter takes some of the illusion away. Still, as tired as I am of these shorts, I do have to remind myself that only a fraction of these early short remain. One wonders how many of these shorts I would end up seeing if they were all extant, so perhaps I should count my blessings. And, lest we forget, it’s shorts like these that helped pave the way for the development of special effects.

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Happy Birthday to Me (1981)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME (1981)
Article 4991 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-17-2015
Directed by J. Lee Thompson
Featuring Melissa Sue Anderson, Glenn Ford, Lawrence Dane
Country: Canada
What it is: Slasher film

Somebody is knocking off an elite group of ten students at Crawford school. Who is the killer… and what does this have to do with the repressed memories of a girl’s mother’s death?

Glenn Ford in a slasher film? To me, that’s a sign that this is a fairly classy affair for a slasher film, and it looks to me like more money and effort went into this one than usually is reserved for that genre. And actually, it seems to pay off in some ways. The overall level of acting is much stronger than is usually found in slasher films, some of the murders are quite creative, and amazingly enough, it actually manages to hold the interest throughout a 110 minute running time. Which is not to say that it doesn’t succumb to a few problems. Characters act quite stupid at times (worst example: if you’ve just managed to escape the clutches of a homicidal killer, don’t just run twenty feet away and think you’re safe), too many of the fake scares require that characters act far more sinister than there is any reason for them to be, and, though I’m glad the movie eschews the cliche of the “unexpectedly unkillable supernatural killer”, its final twist really strains credibility. Still, I’m not going to grouse too much; whatever its flaws, this one tries to be a step above the usual slasher fare, and for the most part, it succeeds.

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Oasis of the Zombies (1982)

OASIS OF THE ZOMBIES (1982)
aka La tumba de los muertos vivientes, Grave of the Living Dead
Article 4990 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-16-2015
Directed by Jesus Franco
Featuring Manuel Gelin, Eduardo Fajardo, France Lomay
Country: France / Spain
What it is: Zombie movie

A company of Nazis with a shipment of gold is slaughtered in an oasis. Visitors find themselves attacked by the zombies of these men.

Franco has his defenders, and even I will admit that he is capable of good work on occasion. But even his defenders don’t seem to have much good to say about this one, and I certainly don’t see much treasure to be found here, either. I did get to the point where I felt the best way to appreciate the movie was to try to enjoy discrete visual moments that show a little evocative poetry. But that was only after I realized that nothing interesting was going to happen in the story, none of the characters were memorable, there was no quotable dialogue (except for the line about about the zombies coming out of “the sand which is there” which amused me because it could be heard as “the sandwiches there”), and the same musical motifs, though effective when used sparingly, would drone on and on until you were sick of them. I got really tired of Franco’s style here; he relies so much on close-ups of everything and everybody that it’s impossible to get any sense of the physical location of anything; it’s really hard to work up any suspense during a zombie attack when you don’t where the victims are in relation to the zombies. You shouldn’t come out of a horror movie feeling not much of anything, but that’s the case here. It’s Franco at his worst.

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