Month: May 2020

Lady, Stay Dead (1981)

LADY, STAY DEAD (1981)
Article 4600 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-6-2014
Directed by Terry Bourke
Featuring Chard Hayward, Louise Howitt, Deborah Coulls
Country: Australia
What it is: Psycho killer movie

A gardener is sexually obsessed with a movie star for whom he works. When he manages to find her alone, he rapes and murders her. When the star’s sister shows up unexpectedly, he must kill her to cover up his crime.

Those who are drawn to this movie for its sleaze factor will probably prefer the first half of the movie, which is where the rape scene and all the nudity can be found. Those who are more interested in the horror/thriller aspects of the movie will probably prefer the final half of the movie, where the gardener lays siege to the sister. However, those hoping for a credible, believable movie will come up short-handed. One problem I have is that the gardener never becomes a consistent character; he seems confidently in control at certain times, comes across as mentally deficient at others, and essentially bends to the winds of whatever is convenient for the story, whether it’s right for the character or not. I also wonder why the police (who let us know that they know about the gardener and imply that he’s responsible for other crimes) were letting this guy run wild in the first place. I also get quite annoyed at the stupidity of the sister, who responds to the siege of the gardener by screaming, blubbering, and doing practically everything she can to make sure the gardener knows just where she is at any given moment. I’ve probably said this before, but I always find it a lot scarier when someone who is doing their level best to deal with an attacker nevertheless remains in danger than I do when someone just makes themselves a sitting duck.

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Kill and Kill Again (1981)

KILL AND KILL AGAIN (1981)
Article 4599 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-5-2014
Directed by Ivan Hall
Featuring James Ryan, Anneline Kriel, Michael Mayer
Country: South Africa / USA
What it is: Martial arts comic action movie

A scientist who has invented a mind-control drug is kidnapped by a super-criminal who plans to use it to take over the world A martial arts expert is hired to rescue him, and he assembles a band of friends to help him on his mission.

I don’t take this movie very seriously, but then, neither did the ones who made it. It’s something of a cross between THE SEVEN SAMURAI and ENTER THE DRAGON done in a comic mode, but I suspect it would have been a little funnier if it had taken itself seriously. The mind-control serum is more than just a maguffin here; the villain (who wears one of the worst fake beards in motion picture history) uses it to control his minions; furthermore, some of the martial artists have mystical abilities that allow them to levitate, though this doesn’t really come into play during the action sequences. James Ryan was a South African action star, and though he’s certainly no Bruce Lee, he does all right. Overall, the movie is entertaining in that “turn off your mind and let it wash over you” way, but it’s certainly no classic.

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Jaws of Satan (1981)

JAWS OF SATAN (1981)
Article 4598 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-4-2014
Directed by Bob Claver
Featuring Fritz Weaver, Gretchen Corbett, Jon Korkes
Country: USA
What it is: A mess

A druid curse results in Satan taking the form of a giant cobra with the intent on killing a priest who is descended from an ancient enemy. When other people are also killed, doctors try to investigate while authorities try to hush it up for fear it will interfere with the opening of a new dog track.

This movie attempts to be a rip-off of JAWS, a “nature on the loose” animal attack flick, and an “ancient curse coming down on the offspring” movie all at one time, with a few touches of THE OMEN and THE EXORCIST thrown into the mix. If this sounds like an awkward and unwieldy mix of fantastic subgenres in theory, it’s even worse in practice. Part of the problem is that the types of horror involved are incompatible; the ancient curse premise implies a specific individual is to be tied to the horror, but the other premises imply that the horror would strike anyone. The movie makes no sense because it never even tries to resolve this contradiction; it tries to have it both ways. It’s almost painful watching how badly this movie tries to tie in the government cover-up/dog track subplot with the main story, and you know the only reason the movie is doing this is to make the story more similar to JAWS; a good screenwriter wouldn’t have strained himself to work it out, but would have dropped the subplot altogether. The movie is badly edited (there are moments where it’s impossible to tell just what happened), has unnecessary scenes (such as the attempted rape), and is just not scary. There are worse movies out there, but not very many that are even more ill-conceived than this one.

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Isn’t It Shocking? (1973)

ISN’T IT SHOCKING? (1973)
TV-Movie
Article 4597 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-2-2014
Directed by John Badham
Featuring Alan Alda, Edmond O’Brien, Louise Lasser
Country: USA
What it is: Psycho-killer crime thriller

A stranger comes to a small village and begins knocking off senior citizens with an electric shock machine that brings on heart attacks. The local sheriff becomes suspicious of the run of heart attacks, and begins investigating.

Sometimes, a movie just does so many things right that it becomes a joy to watch. Though the premise is a bit on the grim side, it has a surprisingly witty and fun script. It’s also got an excellent cast of familiar faces (the ones mentioned above, Lloyd Nolan, Will Geer and Ruth Gordon) all working at the top of their form. It’s something of a mystery, but not in the usual sense; we may know who is committing the murders and how he’s doing them (which is established in the opening scene), but it’s the reasons for the murders that aren’t revealed until the end of the movie. The characters are likable enough so that we care what happens to them; we grow especially attached to Lloyd Nolan’s character, but both Will Geer’s crusty old coroner and Ruth Gordon’s crazy cat lady steal the movie. There are a few story flaws here and there, but I found the movie so much fun that they really didn’t matter. There are a number of TV-Movies out there that may be better than this one, but I can’t think of any that were more enjoyable to watch.

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It’s Not the Size that Counts (1974)

IT’S NOT THE SIZE THAT COUNTS (1974)
aka Percy’s Progress
Article 4596 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-3-2014
Directed by Ralph Thomas
Featuring Leigh Lawson, Elke Sommer, Denholm Elliott
Country: UK
What it is: Sex comedy

When a military plane carrying a chemical weapon explodes, the water systems of the world are infected with a chemical that causes the entire male population of the world to become impotent. The only exception is Percy, the recipient of the first penis transplant, and he becomes the target of several people who have use for his gifts.

Apparently, PERCY was popular enough to merit a sequel, and here it is. I’ve already reviewed that movie, and though I certainly didn’t find it a good movie, it did have a couple of things going for it – it actually made an attempt to transcend its exploitative theme, and it had some decent music from the Kinks. This movie has neither one of those going for it. Oh, it does have an impressive cast in some regards; it also features Judy Geeson, Vincent Price, Julie Ege, Milo O’Shea and Bernard Lee. But it never really becomes anything more than an endless parade of double entendres and sexploitation, and that wears thin very quickly. The drug rendering the whole world impotent does add to the fantastic content, but it’s largely there to give Percy a whole new set of adventures. All in all, this is pretty bad.

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Impulse (1974)

IMPULSE (1974)
Article 4595 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 8-1-2014
Directed by William Grefe
Featuring William Shatner, Ruth Roman, Jennifer Bishop
Country: USA
What it is: Psycho killer movie

A disturbed man who developed homicidal tendencies after a traumatic childhood experience hooks up with a widow. The woman’s suspicious daughter discovers his homicidal tendencies, but no one will believe her.

I’ve never been one of those people who made a habit of seeing William Shatner as a bad actor given to hammy overacting, but then, I’ve never seen this movie before, either. In fact, this movie seems to mostly remembered for Shatner’s awful performance as the murderous psycho, and I have to admit that it’s as bad as they come. Nevertheless, I can see what he’s trying to do; underneath his usual facade, the character is basically still a scared little boy in a desperate situation, and he’s trying to tap into that. Unfortunately, his failure to physicalize this character with subtlety ends up making his performance unexpectedly and inappropriately comic, and the result is truly awful. Perhaps a more skilled director than William Grefe (who gave us STING OF DEATH, DEATH CURSE OF TARTU and STANLEY) might have found a way to keep his performance in check, but maybe not; I can only speculate. Certainly, the mostly lame script doesn’t help the situation any, and some of the scenes are pretty ludicrous (such as the chase scene through a car wash). About the only thing I like about the script is the way the final scene effectively and neatly circles back to the first scene; it’s easily the best thing about this movie, which will most likely be only remembered for what’s wrong with it.

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Halloween with the New Addams Family (1977)

HALLOWEEN WITH THE NEW ADDAMS FAMILY (1977)
aka Halloween with the Addams Family
TV-Movie
Article 4594 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-31-2014
Directed by David Steinmetz
Featuring John Astin, Jackie Coogan, Carolyn Jones
Country: USA
What it is: Revival of a sixties sitcom

The Addams family plans to celebrate Halloween with a “family members only” party, unaware that certain unscrupulous individuals intend to rob them of their fortune.

You know, there’s something depressing about the attempts made during the late seventies to revive TV shows from the sixties as TV-movies; even by TV-Movie standards, they come off as singularly lame. Maybe it was that some of these shows worked much better in a half-hour format than they did when stretched to three times that length. Maybe there was something about the writing from that period of time that had been lost during the seventies; the attempts to emulate the goofiness of that period seem forced and desperate. Still, I think the primary culprit was the fact that when you revive a successful TV series from the past, it’s already been somewhat pre-sold, and it’s therefore perceived as not really necessary to do a good job or put your best foot forward; people will watch it anyway. In this one, I know a great deal of the atmosphere is lost simply due to the fact that the original series was in black-and-white, and this revival was in color. The real problem, though, is it seems amateurish and clumsy, it too often relies on running gags from the original series (especially the “Trish, you spoke French” gag which is here run into the ground mercilessly), and it’s not very funny. The best thing about it is that most of the original cast is back, and sometimes they bend over backwards to accomplish this; of course they had to replace the actor and actress playing Wednesday and Pugsley, but they also bring back to original actor and actress playing older versions of those characters. Ted Cassidy steals what there is to steal here as Lurch, who gets the best gag here when he falls for one of the (male) criminals who comes to the party dressed as Little Bo-Peep. Apparently, this was supposed to be a pilot for the revival of the series, but I’m not surprised it didn’t accomplish that purpose.

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Moonwolf (1959)

MOONWOLF (1959)
aka Zuruck aus dem Weltall, …und immer ruft das Herz
Article 4593 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-30-2014
Directed by Georges Friendland
Featuring Anneli Sauli, Carl Mohner, Helmut Schmid
Country: Finland / West Germany
What it is: Love story

A scientist is reluctant to send his pet dog (which is really a wolf) into outer space as part of an experiment. He tells the story of his relationship with the animal.

IMDB (as well as various other sources) classify this movie as Sci-Fi, and, insofar as the plot involves sending a wolf into outer space, I suppose it is. From a story perspective, however, this event serves as little more than a plot device; its purpose is to put the animal in a certain location so that the scientist finds himself resolving a romantic triangle plot that is the real center of the movie. And, like most romantic triangle plots, this one is pretty mundane, and anyone hoping to see actual shots of the dog in outer space will be sorely disappointed; the action in the movie remains stubbornly earthbound. There’s a certain curiosity value to the fact that most of the movie is set in Lapland and shot in location there, but it’s certainly not enough to save this movie from the doldrums. This one is quite disappointing.

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Formula C-12 Beirut (1966)

FORMULA C-12 BEIRUT (1966)
aka Agent 505 – Todesfalle Beirut
Article 4592 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-28-2014
Directed by Manfred R. Kohler
Featuring Frederick Stafford, Genevieve Cluny, Chris Howland
Country: West Germany / Italy / France
What it is: Spyghetti

An Interpol agent is sent to Beirut to track down a four-fingered villain called The Shiek who has an evil plan to kill all off all of the city’s inhabitants.

There’s plenty of gadgetry to add to the science fiction content of this heaping helping of Eurospy, and the plot also seems outlandish enough to also add to the fantastic content. On the plus side, the movie has some good scenes and a sense of humor. On the minus side, the story is fairly predictable, the editing is rather confusing at times, and Ennio Morricone’s score (which mostly consists of an abrasive three-note theme that gets trotted out at tense moments) is more annoying than thrilling. Overall, it’s a pretty run-of-the-mill example of the genre, making it a passable but unmemorable time-killer. I do find it interesting, however, that a pivotal character in the movie shares the same name as the director.

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The Two-Headed Giant (1939)

THE TWO-HEADED GIANT (1939)
Article 4591 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 7-27-2014
Directed by Connie Rasinski
Voice actors unknown
Country: USA
What it is: Animated comic fairy tale

A two-headed giant comes down from his castle in the clouds to attack a kingdom on the ground. Jack the Giant Killer rides to the rescue.

In my recent run of cartoons, this is my third foray into the world of Terrytoons, and it’s easily the best of the three. The animation is much more fluid, the music actually contributes to the action, and there are moments that are downright clever. Of the latter, I quite like, for example, a gag in which the giant tries to walk while one of its heads is still asleep, but can’t get half of his body to work because of it; it’s the type of gag that indicates a little inspiration and thought were going on, and they weren’t just sleepwalking through the creation of this. Still, most of the cartoon is on the ordinary side, and the cartoon is practically over by the time that Jack shows up. Nevertheless, this is one of the better cartoons I’ve seen from this studio.

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