Month: December 2019

The Twin Pawns (1919)

THE TWIN PAWNS (1919)
Article 4080 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-16-2012
Directed by Leonce Perret
Featuring Mae Murray, Warner Oland, Jack W. Johnston
Country: USA
What it is: Melodrama

An opportunist discovers that an impoverished waif is in reality a missing twin daughter of an industrialist. He uses the information in a plot to get hold of the industrialist’s fortune… and he’s not above using murder to further his ambitions.

The fantastic content is of the horror variety, but it doesn’t come into play until the last third of the movie; the elements involve fake ghosts and incarceration in an asylum. Yet neither element is enough to really shift the movie out of the realm of melodrama. The story itself is pretty far-fetched, both in terms of the villain’s plot itself, but how the various parties choose to react to the plot as it unveils. It is interesting to see Warner Oland from his pre-Chan days; like Basil Rathbone, he seems to have mostly played heavies and villains, but gained fame by playing a famous detective. All in all, this one was pretty minor.

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Unusual Cooking (1908)

UNUSUAL COOKING (1908)
aka Cuisine magnetique, Cuisine abracadabrante
Article 4079 by Dave Sindelar
Directed by Segundo de Chomon
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: A bad cutlery Busby Berkeley nightmare

A bizarre dance number is performed with giant cutlery.

It starts out like a typical Melies magic short, but it rapidly evolves into something even weirder. Before long, we have cooks of all sizes and shapes dancing with giant knives, forks and spoons. We also have the cutlery becoming anthropomorphosized (which is to say, given faces, arms and legs) along with the pans. The only cooking involves one of the cooks being dismembered and thrown into a pot, which, I will admit, does qualify for the “unusual” adjective. It’s all pretty plotless, but there’s a real demented charm to this strange short, and may be on of Chomon’s best.

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Billy’s Seance (1911)

BILLY’S SEANCE (1911)
Article 4078 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-14-2012
Director unknown
Featuring John R. Cumpson and Charles Arling
Country: USA
What it is: Comic revenge short

After attending an impressive seance, Billy decides he wants to hold one himself, which makes him the butt of jokes from his friends. Billy then plans revenge…

The seance has the table going pretty wild in the opening scenes, which is the part of the short that features the fantastic content. After that, it’s mostly a pretty thin slapstick gag involving people being shocked by electricity, the same sort of gag that popped up when I saw LE COURANT ELECTRIQUE. It’s all pretty ordinary and not particularly memorable.

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Love and Science (1912)

LOVE AND SCIENCE (1912)
aka Amour et science
Article 4077 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-13-2012
Director unknown
Featuring Emile Dehelly and Renee Sylvaire
Country: France
What it is: Exploration of a common science fiction theme

The betrothed of a dedicated and obsessed scientist (who is working on a telephotophone) is angry at being snubbed when she comes to visit, so she exacts a revenge when the invention is finished and he calls her.

The “telephotophone” in the description is an early version of what we would call the “videophone”, an extension of the telephone whereby you could see the person you’re talking with. What I found more interesting is that the movie deals with one of the common “mad scientist” cliches; think of all the movies you’ve seen where a scientist is so dedicated to his craft he has no time for his fiance/daughter/wife/etc. In this short, that cliche drives the plot, prompting the snubbed fiance to exact revenge by showing that she is with another man (actually, her best female friend in disguise) when the scientist tests his invention by calling her with it. Some of the plot developments are a little far-fetched, but I was nonetheless charmed by seeing the cliche given a front-and-center place in the story, which rarely happens. There are some interesting special effects as well; during the call we get a split-screen which allows us to see three scenes at once; the scientist testing his machine, the woman receiving the phone call, and the view that the scientist sees on his machine. It’s not a great short, but it’s an interesting one.

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The Diamonds of Kilimandjaro (1983)

THE DIAMONDS OF KILIMANDJARO (1983)
aka El tesoro de la diosa blanca, The Treasure of the White Goddess
Article 4076 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-12-2012
Directed by Jesus Franco and Olivier Mathot
Featuring Katja Bienert, Antonio Mayans, Aline Mess
Country: France / Spain
What it is: Jesus Franco does jungle

An expedition sets out to find an heiress who has been missing for many years and is now believed to be living as a wild woman in the jungle. However, some of the people in the expedition stand to inherit the fortune if she is NOT found…

I’m going by faith on the above title; I don’t remember seeing the title of the movie on my print at all. So how is it? Well, if I were to make my list of the ten worst jungle movies I’ve seen, this wouldn’t be on it. Nor would it be on the list of the worst Jesus Franco movies I’ve seen. But bear in mind that I’ve seen so many bad jungle movies and so many bad Jesus Franco movies that that is hardly a guarantee of quality. The story is weak, but it’s not as hackneyed as some of the other jungle movies I’ve seen. There’s plenty of silliness and bad dialogue, to be sure. There’s also a lot of sex and nudity, but then, what did you expect from a Franco film? If it gets by, it’s largely because it’s not as unwatchable as Franco at his worst. In short, though it wasn’t nearly as bad as I expected it would be, it’s still nothing special.

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The House of Fear (1945)

THE HOUSE OF FEAR (1945)
Article 4075 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-11-2012
Directed by Roy William Neill
Featuring Basil Rathbone, Nigel Bruce, Aubrey Mather
Country: USA
What it is: Holmes in an old dark house

When a society known as the “Good Comrades” begins being knocked off one by one in horrible ways, an insurance investigator calls in Sherlock Holmes to look in on the case.

I thought I was done with the Rathbone Sherlock Holmes movies, but, for some reason, this one got lost in the shuffle and I didn’t really catch its omission at the time. That’s a shame; most of the series is pretty light on the fantastic content, but this one places Holmes in what amounts to a variation of the “old dark house” pattern, with residents in a spooky old castle being knocked off one by one. Though it is mainly a mystery, we have hints that the castle is haunted, there’s a scene of a coffin being dug up in a graveyard, there are secret passages in the house… yes, there’s a lot of horror atmosphere in this one. It’s partially based on “The Five Orange Pips”. It is one of those movies, though, that makes me appreciate why many Holmes purists can’t stand Nigel Bruce’s interpretation of Dr. Watson; he seems particularly dim in this one, though he does at least have the instinct to recognize when he’s stumbled across an important clue at one point. The mystery itself isn’t too difficult; I had a strong inkling of what was going on after the third murder. Still, this is a pretty entertaining entry in the series.

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The Drawing Lesson (1903)

THE DRAWING LESSON (1903)
aka La statue animee
Article 4074 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-20-2012
Directed by Georges Melies
Cast unknown
Country: France
What it is: Melies comic trick short

After an artist finds the ideal place to hold his drawing lesson, a magical practical joker creates a booby-trapped statue on the spot. Hilarity ensues.

Okay, the magical practical joker doesn’t seem to be wearing clown makeup, but I know a clown when I see one, and if there’s anything scarier than a tumbling imp, it’s a clown able to wield magic. I’d say the piece-by-piece creation of the statue is the most entertaining part of this short, though the statue is once again someone standing really still until it’s time for her to move. Though it’s played for comedy, it’s not particularly amusing, and is one of Melies’s weaker shorts.

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The Doctor and the Monkey (1900)

THE DOCTOR AND THE MONKEY (1900)
aka Le savant et le chimpanze
Article 4073 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-8-2012
Directed by Georges Melies
Cast unknown
What it is: Melies comic short

A doctor keeps a monkey in a cage. The monkey breaks loose and wreaks havoc.

If it weren’t for the fact that the monkey’s tail comes off at one point, displays a life of its own, and eventually attaches itself to the doctor’s nose to make him look like he has a trunk, this Melies short would be free of fantastic content. This was one of Melies’s more comic oriented shorts rather than one of his special effects extravaganzas. The most interesting thing about it may be that it takes place in a two-story building, both floors of which are visible at the same time. There’s also a little raciness when the monkey pulls off the skirt of a woman, revealing her bloomers; I think this was racy back then anyway. This one is pretty minor.

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The Spiral Staircase (1975)

THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE (1975)
Article 4072 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-6-2012
Directed by Peter Collinson
Featuring Jacqueline Bisset, Christopher Plummer, John Phillip Law
Country: UK
What it is: Suspense remake

A serial killer is on the loose knocking off women with handicaps. Is the woman who can’t speak (due to psychological blockage caused by the death of her husband and daughter) the next victim?

The 1946 version of this story is a suspense classic; this one could be used as a poster child for those who argue that they shouldn’t remake classics. It’s got several decent actors trying to do their best, but the script is clumsy and overwritten, and the direction is sodden and dull. It’s the type of movie that, instead of tingling your spine, it just sits on your head till you find yourself wishing that the movie would just go away and leave you alone. This is not a high point in British cinema.

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The Hound of the Baskervilles (1914)

THE HOUND OF THE BASKERVILLES (1914)
aka Der Hund von Baskerville
Article 4071 by Dave Sindelar
Date: 11-5-2012
Directed by Rudolf Meinert
Featuring Alwin Neuss, Friedrich Kuhne, Hanni Weisse
Country: Germany
What it is: Holmes adaptation

Sherlock Holmes is called in to solve the mystery of the hound of the Baskervilles.

The storyline on IMDB for this movie claims that it is “faithfully adapted” from the novel by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle. Either somebody has a very different definition of the word “faithful” than I do, or there’s a very bizarre version of this novel floating around somewhere that I’ve not read. Between the reduction of Watson to little more than a cameo (if anything, he appears more extensively in the novel than Holmes himself does), the fact that our putative menace seems to be one of the friendliest pooches I’ve ever seen, and the fact that the story involves such bizarre plot turns as Stapleton (who is established as the villain early on) disguising himself as Holmes so he can try other methods of assassinating Henry Baskerville, I doubt that anyone would think the novel and the movie are even existing in the same universe, much less their being blood relations. In many ways, it feels much more like a Fantomas story than a Holmes story, only quite a bit sillier. Nevertheless, this version appeared to be quite popular; it yielded at least six sequels. The mind boggles.

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